Family & Friends Opinions on How You Look

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  • Kst76
    Kst76 Posts: 935 Member
    edited March 2018
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    My wife is not very supportive but it's partly because she is sold on some woo about clean eating and talks a good game on losing weight but has stayed overweight a long time. When I was first losing this time, she said I was losing too fast (true) and would just gain it back like the last time I had lost a lot of weight. When I slowed down the loss and started eating fairly normal meals with good portion control and still kept losing she didn't say much. Now that I am down in the healthy BMI range and maintaining, she is about the only person in the family who has not commented about it. We have other issues, so this is not entirely unexpected.

    Wow...that's so odd for a wife/husband to do. You would think they would be ecstatic when their spouse loses weight and trying to become healthy. I am sorry. Maybe she is a little jealous?
  • Tq43
    Tq43 Posts: 85 Member
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    Thankfully my husband is very supportive. He's super fit and trim ....an avid cyclist....so he can't understand why everyone isn't fit !
    He worried more when I was eating all the wrong things and had no energy.
    He's really proud that I've switched my eating habits and I'm walking everyday.... he says I look brighter and have more energy and slimmer of course... but he doesn't dwell on that part .....even though I know he prefers a slimmer me !

    My mum is trying to lose weight also, so we're great support for each other and my sister is supportive too.
    My friends are great also ...they go walking with me and are all trying to be healthier too....so I suppose I'm very lucky. If I fail, it won't be due to lack of support ....just lack of will power !
  • HoneyBadger302
    HoneyBadger302 Posts: 1,995 Member
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    Well, my ex-husband is an ex for a few reasons, and this is one area that is a great example of why that is the case.

    When we got together, we were both active and fit. Several years into our relationship, around the same time, we both ended up becoming less active due to our work/schooling. We both put on weight.

    I went from hearing semi-regular compliments on my appearance to ZERO comments, even when I dressed up and looked nice. On no less than two occassions I talked to him about it, saying that I realized I had put on some weight, but would appreciate a compliment every now and then, even if it's saying "that's a nice outfit." I got one compliment. ONE. Over several months at least.

    In the meantime I regularly complimented him (do unto others n all that). I tried to get him to work with me on coordinating going to the gym (for both of our sakes), trimming back portions, etc, but he wasn't interested. He'd go to the gym, but had zero interest in trying to coordinate with me AT ALL.

    It was one symptom of other issues, but an example of an unhealthy relationship.

    I've had boyfriends since who would comment, but usually they were positive and/or encouraging.
  • kami3006
    kami3006 Posts: 4,978 Member
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    I'm very fortunate in that my husband is an "if you're happy then I'm happy" kind of guy. He supported me when I wanted to lose, when I wanted to put on muscle, when I wanted a breast reduction (people loved to ask him what he thought of that-to which he just gave them a "wtf" look). If I were looking sickly or doing something extreme he would certainly voice his concern but I'm not someone to do that.

    The rest of my family simply says that I look fit. It's not something I go out of my way to talk about except to my dad who is extremely physically active so we like to swap personal bests and *kitten* about our aches.