Family issues. Seeking support and advice.
Options
Replies
-
Perhaps she needs a mental health evaluation. I would think moving out is your best option
She has a psychiatrist and has been evaluated. She has a history of depression and anxiety, but that's it. I'm not sure if there's something else going on or if she's just a manipulative and nasty person.1 -
Perhaps she needs a mental health evaluation. I would think moving out is your best option
She has a psychiatrist and has been evaluated. She has a history of depression and anxiety, but that's it. I'm not sure if there's something else going on or if she's just a manipulative and nasty person.
I think you are right about her. Depression and anxiety don't make people do bad things and they aren't legitimate excuses for abusing others. She may have depression and anxiety, but it's something else about her that's driving the nastiness - she may just be a crappy person (who also happens to suffer from depression and anxiety.)
Not all bad behavior can be excused by mental illness. Mental illness can account for delusional or irrational behaviors, but most mental illness is treatable and people with mental illnesses are not bad people. Most don't harm others purposefully. That's why I hate it when some evil SOB (who isn't mentally ill, but simply a sociopath) does something really selfish and horrible (like abuse or violence, etc.) and people try to blame "mental illness." That puts a stigma on true sufferers of mental illness that isn't really fair and enables the perpetrator to keep being a jerk.
Cunning, deceitful, manipulative, selfish behaviors which are designed to control or harm others are often just the work of people with ugly personalities. There ARE bad, manipulative, toxic people. You can't fix personality defects, like sociopathy. I think people frequently confuse sociopaths (IMO evil) with the mentally ill (sick and in need of treatment). You can't fix them or change them. Sociopaths are best avoided, IMO.
4 -
Oh! And the icing on the cake...I called the hospital she was at this morning when I got off work because I wanted to see if she was still there. She wasn't. We called all the hospitals in the area, called one of her friends we thought she might be with, my dad went to the hotels near the hospital she was at and we couldn't find her anywhere. She didn't have her phone with her or any of her medicines or anything. So when I got up to get ready for work tonight, I found one of her other friends' numbers in her phone and called them. My mom was with that friend the entire day, didn't bother to call us and let us know that she was at least okay. We had even called the sheriff's office for the county the hospital was in and they had deputies out looking for her. And she showed up at home right as I was leaving for work. She doesn't see anything wrong with anything she did and started the blame game as soon as she got back. Wtf.2
-
Her excuse for not calling us is that she couldn't remember our phone numbers. Okay...but you could remember it at 1 am when you called me to start an argument. I don't believe that excuse for a second.0
-
Perhaps she needs a mental health evaluation. I would think moving out is your best option
She has a psychiatrist and has been evaluated. She has a history of depression and anxiety, but that's it. I'm not sure if there's something else going on or if she's just a manipulative and nasty person.
I think you are right about her. Depression and anxiety don't make people do bad things and they aren't legitimate excuses for abusing others. She may have depression and anxiety, but it's something else about her that's driving the nastiness - she may just be a crappy person (who also happens to suffer from depression and anxiety.)
Not all bad behavior can be excused by mental illness. Mental illness can account for delusional or irrational behaviors, but most mental illness is treatable and people with mental illnesses are not bad people. Most don't harm others purposefully. That's why I hate it when some evil SOB (who isn't mentally ill, but simply a sociopath) does something really selfish and horrible (like abuse or violence, etc.) and people try to blame "mental illness." That puts a stigma on true sufferers of mental illness that isn't really fair and enables the perpetrator to keep being a jerk.
Cunning, deceitful, manipulative, selfish behaviors which are designed to control or harm others are often just the work of people with ugly personalities. There ARE bad, manipulative, toxic people. You can't fix personality defects, like sociopathy. I think people frequently confuse sociopaths (IMO evil) with the mentally ill (sick and in need of treatment). You can't fix them or change them. Sociopaths are best avoided, IMO.
I think she's just a nasty person.1 -
Avocado_Angel wrote: »Your mother made an accusation to your face that you went with your own dad ? How disrespectful is that ? You need to cut ties. Hopefully in time she will realise the error of her ways but until then I would create a lot of distance, for your own sanity.
It's extremely sick. And she sees nothing wrong with it, and her excuse for saying it was to see if I would go back and tell my dad. Just her trying to be pathetic and start drama because she has nothing better to do.0 -
She apologized to me this morning and is currently calling me a primadonna who does nothing wrong. She literally sees nothing wrong with anything she did. I am done.1
-
-
Quit talking of her issues only because you put yourself as a player in her game. Remove yourself! It will be hard but you have to save only you!1
-
CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Any update OP?
Nope, not really. She is currently in the hospital for medical reasons, and I have not gone and visited her because I already know what it's going to entail...me bringing her stuff and her whining the entire time I'm there, and when I say something she doesn't like, she will tell me to leave. She called me earlier after my dad got back from visiting her and asked me if he has gotten home, then she started talking about how he made her sound crazy in front of the nurse, when really he was just telling them about everything that has been going on. She then started talking badly about him, and I told her point blank that they are married, I am the child, and if she has a problem with him then she needs to address that with him like an adult - I told her I'm tired of being put in the middle of everything. She didn't like that very much, but I honestly don't care because it's the truth. She then denied saying anything bad about him, and when I asked her if she forgets everything she says immediately, she hung up on me. I never called her back. She does not have dementia and this type of behavior is an extreme form of how she is normally. She had enough sense to pick up the phone and dial my number, but not enough sense to remember all of what she just said, only bits and pieces that she wants to? I don't buy that for a second.
I think she has finally figured out that the manipulative bs she pulls where she threatens me if I don't give her what she wants isn't going to work with me anymore, and she's pissed about it. I don't care...I just don't. She can threaten me all she wants because I'm in a financial position to leave, and she knows that. I've been staying to help her out. I pay the electric bill, buy a ton of the groceries, take her many of the places she needs to go, help pay for her prescriptions, and she did not pay a single penny for ANY of my Bachelor's degree. Literally not a cent. I have gone out of my way, stayed up until 3 PM after working 12 hours all night so that I could take her somewhere she needed to go, only to be threatened if I don't give princess what she wants when she wants it.
I love her to death, but I am just tired.
2 -
She also called one of her friends earlier and said that she is the victim and that everything is her fault. She can't stand the notion that anything she does is wrong, and if you confront her about it she denies it. Example: I had a bottle of Flexiril, which is a muscle relaxer because I was having leg spasms. She went and filled the prescription while I was at work, took 3 of the pills out and did not say a dang thing to me. I came home and found the bottle with the lid screwed on crooked, opened it and counted the pills and found that 3 were missing. I confronted her about it, she lied and said she didn't take any. I kept pushing her and she finally admitted to taking 1 and insisted that the other 2 mysteriously disappeared, and then tried to twist it into being my fault and said that I should've gone and gotten it myself. This was over a year ago. This is the type of thing I'm talking about - no sense of responsibility. So now anytime I have a prescription for anything, I don't tell her about it and I hide all of my medicines. Her excuse was that she ran out of her muscle relaxers - so then why didn't you just tell me that? If you truly did "run out", why did you go behind my back and steal them and then lie about it to my face?
Last night, she went in my room while I was gone and took some jewelry that she had given me out of my jewelry box. My dad told her, don't go in her room, she will be mad, you have to respect her space. Her response was that this is HER house and she can do whatever she wants. She does not respect my space at all, and you bet I was pissed when I got home and found that she had been in my room, and I told her do not EVER step foot in my room again. Period.
These are just some of the things I'm talking about. And don't get me wrong - I'm not totally innocent, I have not always been the best, sometimes I get mad and yell at her and get frustrated. My dad does the same thing. But she seriously has some issues.1 -
...Her response was that this is HER house and she can do whatever she wants...
TRUTH. It's her house. You're just a guest in it. She's a raging narcissist and a misery to live with. So why do you torture yourself by staying? You'll feel so much freer when you gain your independence. Go now. Run fast! You can do this!
3 -
...Her response was that this is HER house and she can do whatever she wants...
TRUTH. It's her house. You're just a guest in it. She's a raging narcissist and a misery to live with. So why do you torture yourself by staying? You'll feel so much freer when you gain your independence. Go now. Run fast! You can do this!
I've started looking at apartments. I'll be out soon enough!3
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 393 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 934 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions