Trying to stop obsessing
Tq43
Posts: 85 Member
Hi, I'm using MFP ( again) 
for the past 7 weeks.
Each time I start eating healthy and exercise, I begin to obsess about food and calories and weight !
I was determined this time not to obsess....but low and behold, 7 weeks in and I am !
I.reckon, I've failed in the past because of this....I get too bogged down and then give up cos it's not sustainable.
Do others obsess too??? How do you keep going long term without getting too bogged down !
I really want this to work this time , for a number of reasons and I fear I'll go down the old familiar path.
I seem to be an all or nothing person!
I'm either walking / exercising everyday and watching my diet or I'm doing no exercise and eating all the wrong foods and way too.much of it !!!
I can't be the only one ???
Tips for keeping up this lifestyle long term would be greatly appreciated!
for the past 7 weeks.Each time I start eating healthy and exercise, I begin to obsess about food and calories and weight !
I was determined this time not to obsess....but low and behold, 7 weeks in and I am !
I.reckon, I've failed in the past because of this....I get too bogged down and then give up cos it's not sustainable.
Do others obsess too??? How do you keep going long term without getting too bogged down !
I really want this to work this time , for a number of reasons and I fear I'll go down the old familiar path.
I seem to be an all or nothing person!
I'm either walking / exercising everyday and watching my diet or I'm doing no exercise and eating all the wrong foods and way too.much of it !!!
I can't be the only one ???
Tips for keeping up this lifestyle long term would be greatly appreciated!
6
Replies
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It's all one day at a time. If I do what I need to do, the results will follow. Getting over "all or nothing" takes practice but you can do it. The next thing you put in your mouth is a new decision.
I changed as little as possible so that my current way of eating is as close as I could make it to my old way of eating.
Spontaneity is important to me so I log what I'm going to eat right before I eat it. I don't plan ahead. However, I've experimented over time and do have many choices that fall within my calorie and macro goals.
I didn't exercise for the majority of my weight loss. When I got close to goal, I started some walking. Any movement counts so find something you like that you can work into your day comfortably.
There are no wrong foods. Get enough nutrition and have a calorie deficit for weight loss and you are golden. Log before you eat so that you can adjust your portion size to fit your calorie and nutrition goal for that meal.
Experiment to build a plan that you can follow comfortably forever. Maintenance will be just like weight loss but with a few more calories. If you go back to eating for your current weight when you reach your goal weight, you'll end up back at your current weight.8 -
The all or nothing trap is one that has gotten me time and again over the years and I, like you, found the drastic change unsustainable so I'd give up.
Things I did differently this time that seemed to have worked for me to set me on the right path.
- No exercise to begin with. I decided to lose the first 1/4 of my initial goal (15kg/33lb) by diet alone and did this successfully. By not being distracted by exercises I could focus on fixing the biggest issue, my food intake. It also meant I didn't have the temptation of post exercise binges. I've now reached that goal and have introduced exercise in the form of cycling and thus far it hasn't effected my eating habits.
- Focus (not obsess) on my diet. I had to start being mindful of my food intake. This mean really paying attention to what I was eating. Watching my calories, learning about nutrition, experimenting with different ingredients, trialling and adjusting my calories, tracking my losses/gains. It all became almost like my hobby for me.
- Don't change what I eat. In the past I had made the mistake of "eating healthy". This mean eating "good" foods that I didn't really like and completely eliminating "bad" foods entirely. Inevitably I'd run out of willpower, give up and go back to my old ways. This time I've continued to eat the foods I like without worrying about 'good' and 'bad'. I just use MFP to track and plan the same food I've always eaten, the foods that I know I enjoy, just in a way that fits in with my calorie target. This way it requires far less will power (almost none really) as I'm not forcing down foods I hate and I'm still enjoying the foods I like. Just in a way that moves me towards my goal weight. I've also found that my nutrition has improved almost as a side effect. I'm eating more 'good' foods as my weight loss progresses and my motivation/tastes change.
Those are the three main strategies that really helped me personally.13 -
I am the same its all or nothing. I was either exercising 6 days a week or not doing anything on a regular basis. Last year when I started running after 6 months off due to injury I promised myself that I would take a different approach. I initially ran once a week and then after a couple of months added in a second run. It helped that I joined 2 running clubs (both only do 1 run a week). It worked if I miss a run or a week due to whatever I find it so much easier to just go the next time. I must admit I am actually back up to exercising 6 days a week sometimes twice a day but its all stuff that I've slowly added in over time and its not all running too. Obviously with more days to easier to have reasons to miss something but I dont have any issues going back the next week/day anymore. I also didnt diet over the last year. I exercise because I enjoy it, yes I know that it does help with weight but for me diet and exercise dont have to go hand in hand.
Foodwise I was also the same, it wasnt 1 slip and it was all over but it was a series of small slips that would add up until I decided it wasnt worth the effort. I havent mastered my relationship with food or my addiction to coke, often when I am able to stay away from coke I just replaced it with another form of sugar.
I am back to 'dieting' now, at the moment. But because I actually want to be able to run faster because I have hit the wall on my times improving as well as the distance I can do. Yes I want to lose weight for vanity too, I do dislike the way I look at this weight but I dont hate my body overall just dont like parts of it. I guess because I dont have any obvious weight related health issues (or at least not yet) its been hard to diet just for the sake of being thinner but now that thinner actually equals more than just smaller clothes. I still slip for sure and sometimes I justify my bad choices with the fact I exercise a lot but overall I think that I have changed my attitude from all or nothing to something is better than nothing.
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Start by changing one or two small things until it becomes a habit. Then add other things- little by little until you are used to a new way of eating. All the while keep logging, even when you have that donut or that cookie. Get rid of the idea of good and bad foods. It's all food- no guilt should be associated with food. Just log it and make it fit in your calorie goals for the day. You will find, after a time and getting into better habits that you will eat healthier and crave what you eat- high protein, high fiber, fresh fruits and vegetables. But again, start small- and change just a few things at a time. You can do it!1
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How close to normal weight are you? How big of a deficit are you going for?0
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I don't see it as an obsession, it's a way of life for me now and it's become a daily habit.0
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I know exactly what you mean. I've been going up and down the last 10lbs for the last 2 years. I got to my goal weight then started eating more and not logging and the weight has crept back on again.
I struggle to stick to anything more than a couple of weeks at the moment. Patience is needed as it's going to be slow going and it's for life. (This is what I need to tell myself!)
Try not to do too much (easier said than done, I find I start obsessing too). Last week I tried saving up some calories for the Easter weekend but obviously went too low early in the week because I ended up going way over for 4 days.
I know what to do.... pace yourself. It's just putting it into practice.
Good luck!1 -
Thanks for the replies....all very insightful. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one getting caught ( time and again) in the " all or nothing" cycle.
I am trying to eat as "normal" foods this time and be more organised....having the right foods in and readily available.
This time I've started walking and am holding out on any other exercise ....to try to avoid obsessing !
I'm doing well so far ...I like the idea of " one day at Time" as Seska 422 has said...that might just help... not thinking too far ahead and getting daunted by it all.How close to normal weight are you? How big of a deficit are you going for?
I'm very near my goal. I had just over a stone to lose ( I know, not huge in the scheme of things) but it's my energy levels ...I love, when I'm eating right and looking after myself....the energy I have and how good it makes me feel.
However, in the past....many times...it's at this stage I fall down!!!! .... I need to lose another 3 pounds or so and that's it. I'm determined not to fall I to the same cycle this time.... so I'm hoping I can stop this obsessing and get over this hurdle.
That's what I want. I want it to become natural for me .Enthusiast84 wrote: »I don't see it as an obsession, it's a way of life for me now and it's become a daily habit.
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jasmine_belle wrote: »I know exactly what you mean. I've been going up and down the last 10lbs for the last 2 years. I got to my goal weight then started eating more and not logging and the weight has crept back on again.
I struggle to stick to anything more than a couple of weeks at the moment. Patience is needed as it's going to be slow going and it's for life. (This is what I need to tell myself!)
Try not to do too much (easier said than done, I find I start obsessing too). Last week I tried saving up some calories for the Easter weekend but obviously went too low early in the week because I ended up going way over for 4 days.
I know what to do.... pace yourself. It's just putting it into practice.
Good luck!
I know what to do too....that's the frustrating thing about it in the past ! I get so annoyed at myself but can't seem to get back at it , when I stop.
This time will be different..... we must tell ourselves this and believe it !
We can do it..... best of luck to you too !0 -
You can't lose the last few lbs while at normal weight levels at a fast clip with a big deficit.
Big deficits can be triggering all by themselves.
Hence... set yourself to 0.5lbs a week and eat all your exercise calories back and finesse your way to your goal.
Is that what you're doing?
Or are you trying to go for 1200?0 -
Whenever I feel I'm starting to get obsessed, I do this:
- I set my calories to maintenance. I'm not aiming to maintain, I just want to know where my diet generally stands without aiming for a specific number, while being mindful not to go over too often.
- Each day I just eat. Anything I want in whatever quantity feels satisfying. I make choices that feel reasonable but not limiting (example: leaner meats, large portions of vegetables, lower fat where it doesn't affect the taste...etc). Just general awareness of my choices without forcing it. If I really want more fries, I go for more fries, but I know making this choice too often wouldn't be good for my diet so I don't do that if I can comfortably say "I'll have more fries later".
- I do the amount of activity that makes me feel good. I try not to obsess about hitting performance or duration records, I just do whatever is manageable that day and stop whenever I want to stop. As long as I'm getting at least some kind of activity I'm happy, even if it ends up being 5 minutes. The goal is to relax and eas up without losing the habit and completely stopping would lead to losing the habit.
- I record calories simply for observation. I'm not trying to hit certain marks, just keeping a record. Any kind of deficit at the end of the day is good enough, be it 1 calories or 500. In fact it's a win, because it's being achieved through a relaxed approach. Some days I have deficits as high as 800 and it always amazes me because if I try to achieve that through rigid control I would feel pretty deprived. There are days where I'm slightly over maintenance, but that's okay.
- I do that for as long as is required to regain momentum, it can last anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of months. It can result in good weight loss or none at all. It's great in all cases because I know for a fact I'm better off than if getting burned out and going free for all, both mentally and weight loss wise.2 -
You can't lose the last few lbs while at normal weight levels at a fast clip with a big deficit.
Big deficits can be triggering all by themselves.
Hence... set yourself to 0.5lbs a week and eat all your exercise calories back and finesse your way to your goal.
Is that what you're doing?
Or are you trying to go for 1200?
I'm set at 1 pound per week....that's 1,510 kcal per day. I eat back some exercise calories but not all most days.
Does that sound reasonable ?0 -
You can't lose the last few lbs while at normal weight levels at a fast clip with a big deficit.
Big deficits can be triggering all by themselves.
Hence... set yourself to 0.5lbs a week and eat all your exercise calories back and finesse your way to your goal.
Is that what you're doing?
Or are you trying to go for 1200?
I'm set at 1 pound per week....that's 1,510 kcal per day. I eat back some exercise calories but not all most days.
Does that sound reason able ?
Try to stay to 10 to 15 to 20% max deficit of TDEE. The less fat you have the smaller the deficit and more frequent the need for refeeds (see refeeds and diet breaks thread)
Gauge progress using weight trend app over 4-6 weeks. Strive.... but don't obsess
Monitor maintenance with trending weight app and reasonable fluctuation limits (usually 3 to 5 lbs depending on normal level of weight fluctuation)
Assuming you burn 2500 overall, eating 2000 is probably fine. If you burn 2000, 1600 or 1700 may be better3 -
You can't lose the last few lbs while at normal weight levels at a fast clip with a big deficit.
Big deficits can be triggering all by themselves.
Hence... set yourself to 0.5lbs a week and eat all your exercise calories back and finesse your way to your goal.
Is that what you're doing?
Or are you trying to go for 1200?
I'm set at 1 pound per week....that's 1,510 kcal per day. I eat back some exercise calories but not all most days.
Does that sound reason able ?
Try to stay to 10 to 15 to 20% max deficit of TDEE. The less fat you have the smaller the deficit and more frequent the need for refeeds (see refeeds and diet breaks thread)
Gauge progress using weight trend app over 4-6 weeks. Strive.... but don't obsess
Monitor maintenance with trending weight app and reasonable fluctuation limits (usually 3 to 5 lbs depending on normal level of weight fluctuation)
Thank u. Will look into TDEE.... I've seen it a lot on MFP, but not quite sure what it is.
I've started a weight monitoring app, so.ilk keep that going.
I'll have to realise and accept that fluctuations are normal and not get so annoyed / disheartened by them .
Thanks again.3 -
You can't lose the last few lbs while at normal weight levels at a fast clip with a big deficit.
Big deficits can be triggering all by themselves.
Hence... set yourself to 0.5lbs a week and eat all your exercise calories back and finesse your way to your goal.
Is that what you're doing?
Or are you trying to go for 1200?
I'm set at 1 pound per week....that's 1,510 kcal per day. I eat back some exercise calories but not all most days.
Does that sound reason able ?
Try to stay to 10 to 15 to 20% max deficit of TDEE. The less fat you have the smaller the deficit and more frequent the need for refeeds (see refeeds and diet breaks thread)
Gauge progress using weight trend app over 4-6 weeks. Strive.... but don't obsess
Monitor maintenance with trending weight app and reasonable fluctuation limits (usually 3 to 5 lbs depending on normal level of weight fluctuation)
Thank u. Will look into TDEE.... I've seen it a lot on MFP, but not quite sure what it is
Total calories burned per day. Some is estimated of course. So is your intake. So yes, there is uncertainty.
But there is also an attitude and stress difference between aiming for a small deficit over time and an "at all costs assault"2 -
Small changes, one at a time, rather than trying to go full boar at the beginning and change your life. Cut down (or increase) something for a few weeks then make the next change. First thing may be to decrease overall calories for a few weeks, then ensure you are getting enough protein next few, etc.1
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When the amount you have left to lose (3 pounds) is not much more than a weight fluctuation in itself, things can get dicey. I would suggest 1) patience 2) a .5 deficit, not 1lb 3) enjoy life 4) good idea on that trending/monitoring app, will help you understand how normal fluctuations are 5) throw that obsession energy into a lifting program 6) settle in for the long haul.
It took me a couple of months to for sure drop the last 3 or so. YMMV2 -
brightresolve wrote: »When the amount you have left to lose (3 pounds) is not much more than a weight fluctuation in itself, things can get dicey. I would suggest 1) patience 2) a .5 deficit, not 1lb 3) enjoy life 4) good idea on that trending/monitoring app, will help you understand how normal fluctuations are 5) throw that obsession energy into a lifting program 6) settle in for the long haul.
It took me a couple of months to for sure drop the last 3 or so. YMMV
Thank u.... yes....I lack patience ! I need to focus on Long term gain and keep motoring. Thanks for advice !0
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