Grand Return

Hello everyone,

I am here on myfitnesspal for a second time. My first time was during 2014, where I lost over a stone in approximately three months. I was 18 years old, having been a chubby kid from day one, and wanted to lose weight before I started university.

I stayed on myfitnesspal for two years, slowly losing weight through cardio and resistance exercises until I dropped from 70kg to 60kg. I started boxing and running, built muscle mass, and was very happy with my figure. As someone who was bullied for their weight all throughout childhood, it felt amazing to have a figure that I loved and worked hard for. I loosened my grip on fitness for a while, and gained a slight amount of weight, but was still very happy.

Unfortunately, a traumatic event in my life last year in May triggered my slip into 'body dysmorphia', for which I was medically diagnosed. I didn't feel in control. All of a sudden, my tiny weight gain felt like a mammoth encumbrance. I began fasting, limiting meals, trying to vomit up even small foods. I ran obsessively. I binged and purged. Rather than lose weight, I gained weight, and soared back to my original weight of 70kg. Although much of this was muscle, my frantic mind just saw imminent obesity. My doctor fast-tracked me onto a counselling service, and due to the severity of my state, I was provided free sessions.

Luckily, 9 months of counselling put me back on track, mentally, and I feel confident at the helm again. And now, I would like to return to my optimum self of 60kg. I have made a new account on this site, wanting a clean slate. I lost 6.4lbs, and then visited home for a month and gained 2lbs! It was upsetting at first, but, realising that health lies in consistency, not obsession, I am not losing my mind over it I've learned a lot about myself, my attitude, and my health over the last year, and I feel ready to try again. If anyone has any similar stories, please feel free to share. I felt very alone at the time, and I would appreciate it.

It's nice to meet all of you!