The Face Problem
Options
Replies
-
-
gaelicstorm wrote: »"You are losing too much weight" is only a fact when it comes from a trained medical professional.
"Your face doesn't look good" is not a fact, it is a perception.
People can feel free to express their opinions but should also be prepared for the reactions and consequences--which are likely that other people find you to be rude.
Great points!1 -
If they meant well but said it badly, forgive them their ignorance.
If they meant bad, that's another story.
If you're not sure, just figure maybe they meant well.12 -
I don't know why people feel a need or right to say this, but they do and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. What is your height and weight? Is there any possibility they might be right? I ask this only because there's been more than one thread on here like this by people who were at the bottom of their weight range.3
-
Catherine Deneuve once said that "at a certain age you must choose between your face and your @ss."
As others have already pointed out, fat plumps the skin and hides wrinkles making your face look better. But...nothing in life is free...so if you have that few extra pounds of fat that make your face prettier, your *kitten* will most likely be a little bigger.
You can either go for the small @ss and accept the more obvious wrinkles, or accept a few more pounds with a slightly higher goal weight. (Obviously, I'm talking about people at a healthy weight in which a few pounds one way or the other is cosmetic and not a health risk.) The choice is yours. Don't worry about what other people think.
5 -
corinasue1143 wrote: »If they meant well but said it badly, forgive them their ignorance.
If they meant bad, that's another story.
If you're not sure, just figure maybe they meant well.
I don't think they meant it badly. Forgiving is the wise thing to do. Thank you.4 -
I don't know why people feel a need or right to say this, but they do and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. What is your height and weight? Is there any possibility they might be right? I ask this only because there's been more than one thread on here like this by people who were at the bottom of their weight range.
5"4' 146 , SW 2456 -
MoiAussi93 wrote: »Catherine Deneuve once said that "at a certain age you must choose between your face and your @ss."
As others have already pointed out, fat plumps the skin and hides wrinkles making your face look better. But...nothing in life is free...so if you have that few extra pounds of fat that make your face prettier, your *kitten* will most likely be a little bigger.
You can either go for the small @ss and accept the more obvious wrinkles, or accept a few more pounds with a slightly higher goal weight. (Obviously, I'm talking about people at a healthy weight in which a few pounds one way or the other is cosmetic and not a health risk.) The choice is yours. Don't worry about what other people think.
Uhh. I'm not exactly happy with my @ss either but I can hide that more! Lol4 -
Honesty and being rude are two totally different things [/quote]
You're right. Honesty is stating facts, and whether someone is being rude is an opinion.
It is a fact that sara is looking older, she is shocked at it herself and says so. So others notice this fact. When they notice this fact and talk about it, it's your opinion they are being rude. You don't want them to notice the facts. Why?
Most people call 'rude' just those facts they aren't comfortable hearing.
You just don't like what someone has to say, so you call it rude, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. That's the paradigm. But you aren't the boss of them. They live in the world too, and their mouths and their opinions are theirs, not yours to control. And calling people rude over THEIR notice of a fact, is just a way to try to shut them up to keep YOU from feeling uncomfortable about the facts. It makes you feel better to call them rude when they notice the FACT of your weight loss, because you feel bad about yourself.
You know, this is a common type of post though on MPF, that "OMG someone said something to me about my weight loss!" and people like you jump in with 'THEY ARE BEING RUDE" because you can't control what other people see or do or say and oh my, you want to. That raises a very interesting psychological question. We are in the weight loss predicament we are in now, because we have no SELF control, and we are learning self-control and discipline. So while we are learning internal self-control, I think we try to project our control onto others, and control every external aspect about our weight loss as well. So we want to try to control what others say and think about our weight loss journeys. That's not possible.
We should get back on track with our own control and let others control themselves.
[/quote]
Yes , no one is rude in the world we are all just honest pockets full of fu*cking sunshine
19 -
I am in my mid fifties so you can imagine. The challenge continues. I am reconciling to a new definition of beauty more to do with vitality and joy.
https://www.fitmess.co.uk/blog/2017/2/25/why-aging-is-harder-for-women
One of the benefits of maturity is a freedom to be highly individual. Why not take full advantage?
I google “centenarian” once in a while to broaden my internal image of beauty.7 -
Oh, and all about the anti aging creams. I have been complimented more than once on the condition of my skin. I was asked about my regimen. I said “nothing”. Actually it is a combination of genetics and nothing. No smoking, no sun, no drinking.4
-
You're right. Honesty is stating facts, and whether someone is being rude is an opinion.fatty_cakezxoxo wrote: »
It is a fact that sara is looking older, she is shocked at it herself and says so. So others notice this fact. When they notice this fact and talk about it, it's your opinion they are being rude. You don't want them to notice the facts. Why?
Most people call 'rude' just those facts they aren't comfortable hearing.
You just don't like what someone has to say, so you call it rude, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. That's the paradigm. But you aren't the boss of them. They live in the world too, and their mouths and their opinions are theirs, not yours to control. And calling people rude over THEIR notice of a fact, is just a way to try to shut them up to keep YOU from feeling uncomfortable about the facts. It makes you feel better to call them rude when they notice the FACT of your weight loss, because you feel bad about yourself.
You know, this is a common type of post though on MPF, that "OMG someone said something to me about my weight loss!" and people like you jump in with 'THEY ARE BEING RUDE" because you can't control what other people see or do or say and oh my, you want to. That raises a very interesting psychological question. We are in the weight loss predicament we are in now, because we have no SELF control, and we are learning self-control and discipline. So while we are learning internal self-control, I think we try to project our control onto others, and control every external aspect about our weight loss as well. So we want to try to control what others say and think about our weight loss journeys. That's not possible.
We should get back on track with our own control and let others control themselves.
[/quote]
Yes , no one is rude in the world we are all just honest pockets full of fu*cking sunshine
[/quote]
You're right. Honesty is stating facts, and whether someone is being rude is an opinion.fatty_cakezxoxo wrote: »
It is a fact that sara is looking older, she is shocked at it herself and says so. So others notice this fact. When they notice this fact and talk about it, it's your opinion they are being rude. You don't want them to notice the facts. Why?
Most people call 'rude' just those facts they aren't comfortable hearing.
You just don't like what someone has to say, so you call it rude, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. That's the paradigm. But you aren't the boss of them. They live in the world too, and their mouths and their opinions are theirs, not yours to control. And calling people rude over THEIR notice of a fact, is just a way to try to shut them up to keep YOU from feeling uncomfortable about the facts. It makes you feel better to call them rude when they notice the FACT of your weight loss, because you feel bad about yourself.
You know, this is a common type of post though on MPF, that "OMG someone said something to me about my weight loss!" and people like you jump in with 'THEY ARE BEING RUDE" because you can't control what other people see or do or say and oh my, you want to. That raises a very interesting psychological question. We are in the weight loss predicament we are in now, because we have no SELF control, and we are learning self-control and discipline. So while we are learning internal self-control, I think we try to project our control onto others, and control every external aspect about our weight loss as well. So we want to try to control what others say and think about our weight loss journeys. That's not possible.
We should get back on track with our own control and let others control themselves.
[/quote]
Yes , no one is rude in the world we are all just honest pockets full of fu*cking sunshine
[/quote]
You're right. Honesty is stating facts, and whether someone is being rude is an opinion.fatty_cakezxoxo wrote: »
It is a fact that sara is looking older, she is shocked at it herself and says so. So others notice this fact. When they notice this fact and talk about it, it's your opinion they are being rude. You don't want them to notice the facts. Why?
Most people call 'rude' just those facts they aren't comfortable hearing.
You just don't like what someone has to say, so you call it rude, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. That's the paradigm. But you aren't the boss of them. They live in the world too, and their mouths and their opinions are theirs, not yours to control. And calling people rude over THEIR notice of a fact, is just a way to try to shut them up to keep YOU from feeling uncomfortable about the facts. It makes you feel better to call them rude when they notice the FACT of your weight loss, because you feel bad about yourself.
You know, this is a common type of post though on MPF, that "OMG someone said something to me about my weight loss!" and people like you jump in with 'THEY ARE BEING RUDE" because you can't control what other people see or do or say and oh my, you want to. That raises a very interesting psychological question. We are in the weight loss predicament we are in now, because we have no SELF control, and we are learning self-control and discipline. So while we are learning internal self-control, I think we try to project our control onto others, and control every external aspect about our weight loss as well. So we want to try to control what others say and think about our weight loss journeys. That's not possible.
We should get back on track with our own control and let others control themselves.
[/quote]
Yes , no one is rude in the world we are all just honest pockets full of fu*cking sunshine
[/quote]
You're right. Honesty is stating facts, and whether someone is being rude is an opinion.fatty_cakezxoxo wrote: »
It is a fact that sara is looking older, she is shocked at it herself and says so. So others notice this fact. When they notice this fact and talk about it, it's your opinion they are being rude. You don't want them to notice the facts. Why?
Most people call 'rude' just those facts they aren't comfortable hearing.
You just don't like what someone has to say, so you call it rude, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. That's the paradigm. But you aren't the boss of them. They live in the world too, and their mouths and their opinions are theirs, not yours to control. And calling people rude over THEIR notice of a fact, is just a way to try to shut them up to keep YOU from feeling uncomfortable about the facts. It makes you feel better to call them rude when they notice the FACT of your weight loss, because you feel bad about yourself.
You know, this is a common type of post though on MPF, that "OMG someone said something to me about my weight loss!" and people like you jump in with 'THEY ARE BEING RUDE" because you can't control what other people see or do or say and oh my, you want to. That raises a very interesting psychological question. We are in the weight loss predicament we are in now, because we have no SELF control, and we are learning self-control and discipline. So while we are learning internal self-control, I think we try to project our control onto others, and control every external aspect about our weight loss as well. So we want to try to control what others say and think about our weight loss journeys. That's not possible.
We should get back on track with our own control and let others control themselves.
[/quote]
Yes , no one is rude in the world we are all just honest pockets full of fu*cking sunshine
[/quote]
You're right. Honesty is stating facts, and whether someone is being rude is an opinion.fatty_cakezxoxo wrote: »
It is a fact that sara is looking older, she is shocked at it herself and says so. So others notice this fact. When they notice this fact and talk about it, it's your opinion they are being rude. You don't want them to notice the facts. Why?
Most people call 'rude' just those facts they aren't comfortable hearing.
You just don't like what someone has to say, so you call it rude, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. That's the paradigm. But you aren't the boss of them. They live in the world too, and their mouths and their opinions are theirs, not yours to control. And calling people rude over THEIR notice of a fact, is just a way to try to shut them up to keep YOU from feeling uncomfortable about the facts. It makes you feel better to call them rude when they notice the FACT of your weight loss, because you feel bad about yourself.
You know, this is a common type of post though on MPF, that "OMG someone said something to me about my weight loss!" and people like you jump in with 'THEY ARE BEING RUDE" because you can't control what other people see or do or say and oh my, you want to. That raises a very interesting psychological question. We are in the weight loss predicament we are in now, because we have no SELF control, and we are learning self-control and discipline. So while we are learning internal self-control, I think we try to project our control onto others, and control every external aspect about our weight loss as well. So we want to try to control what others say and think about our weight loss journeys. That's not possible.
We should get back on track with our own control and let others control themselves.
[/quote]
Yes , no one is rude in the world we are all just honest pockets full of fu*cking sunshine
[/quote]
Insightful post. Lol @ your last quote!2 -
Sometimes skin will tighten back up. I know collagen helps with that (it’s in cottage cheese, which goes very well on tomato slices with a little balsamic vinegar if you ask me!)
You could always get your doc to refer to you a dermatologist and explore your options. They can probably discuss everything from the facelift and fillers to some creams, face exercises? etc.
Also, you might play around with different makeup. You have a new face now, you can’t make it up the same as you did before, just like you won’t be dressing your body the same any more.
Good luck with all this. I hope you find your perfect solution so you can feel good about all your hard work!8 -
Start taking collagen capsules as directed. Good for joints too. Get them at costco....large bottle.
Do what you do and do it for YOUR well being not to please others!4 -
saraonly9913 wrote: »Ok. So, I lost a lot of weight but have not reached my goal yet. At least 4 people have commented on my face recently. Basically telling me I'm getting too thin and that my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.
Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?
Thanks.
I had to trade 'good looks' for good health, the only difference is, young girls are opening doors for me, not sure if this is because of political correctness or that I look quite old and feeble now. How do I handle it ? officially am offended but privately am glad there is not so many videos of me pushing on doors marked 'pull' appearing on youtube ;-) 11 -
Honesty and being rude are two totally different things [/quote]
You're right. Honesty is stating facts, and whether someone is being rude is an opinion.
It is a fact that sara is looking older, she is shocked at it herself and says so. So others notice this fact. When they notice this fact and talk about it, it's your opinion they are being rude. You don't want them to notice the facts. Why?
Most people call 'rude' just those facts they aren't comfortable hearing.
You just don't like what someone has to say, so you call it rude, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. That's the paradigm. But you aren't the boss of them. They live in the world too, and their mouths and their opinions are theirs, not yours to control. And calling people rude over THEIR notice of a fact, is just a way to try to shut them up to keep YOU from feeling uncomfortable about the facts. It makes you feel better to call them rude when they notice the FACT of your weight loss, because you feel bad about yourself.
You know, this is a common type of post though on MPF, that "OMG someone said something to me about my weight loss!" and people like you jump in with 'THEY ARE BEING RUDE" because you can't control what other people see or do or say and oh my, you want to. That raises a very interesting psychological question. We are in the weight loss predicament we are in now, because we have no SELF control, and we are learning self-control and discipline. So while we are learning internal self-control, I think we try to project our control onto others, and control every external aspect about our weight loss as well. So we want to try to control what others say and think about our weight loss journeys. That's not possible.
We should get back on track with our own control and let others control themselves.
[/quote]
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.5 -
Momma always said.....if you can't say nothing nice don't say nuthin' at all.
Just like the fools who say "why didn't anyone tell me I was fat?" HUH??? You don't own a mirror?!
I didnt need anyone to tell me I was fat and if you do....back up cause I can unleash like the devil himself!8 -
Yes please tell me if I have food on my face or a booger hanging out of my nose or a hole in my pants but to tell someone something about their anatomy which is not an easy fixable situation is none of your business and keep your insulting trap shut!15
-
Stinaseward wrote: »Sometimes skin will tighten back up. I know collagen helps with that (it’s in cottage cheese, which goes very well on tomato slices with a little balsamic vinegar if you ask me!)
You could always get your doc to refer to you a dermatologist and explore your options. They can probably discuss everything from the facelift and fillers to some creams, face exercises? etc.
Also, you might play around with different makeup. You have a new face now, you can’t make it up the same as you did before, just like you won’t be dressing your body the same any more.
Good luck with all this. I hope you find your perfect solution so you can feel good about all your hard work!
Thank you!0 -
Momma always said.....if you can't say nothing nice don't say nuthin' at all.
Just like the fools who say "why didn't anyone tell me I was fat?" HUH??? You don't own a mirror?!
I didnt need anyone to tell me I was fat and if you do....back up cause I can unleash like the devil himself!
Highly true!!3
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.4K Getting Started
- 259.6K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 387 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.2K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 913 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions
Do you Love MyFitnessPal? Have you crushed a goal or improved your life through better nutrition using MyFitnessPal?
Share your success and inspire others. Leave us a review on Apple Or Google Play stores!
Share your success and inspire others. Leave us a review on Apple Or Google Play stores!