Feeling overwhelmed and depressed with my life at this point

TeachergirlCeleste
TeachergirlCeleste Posts: 66 Member
Hello. I have a lot going on in my life and it is taking a toll on my mental well being. I am a teacher and a grad student. I love my career and studying to further my education. However, I feel so low. I am short on cash and I know that it is temporary but I am tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I am also dieting and have lost 35 pounds. I am not sure where these depressive feelings are coming from. I haven't felt this way since last year. Last year was very horrible for me and I thought maybe I overcame feeling this way
but now the feelings are back.

I decided to open myself up to dating again and I broke it off because I started feeling insecure and I felt as if the guy was just not ready to date. I am falling behind in graduate school and currently short on cash at the moment.

Yesterday I cried for hours and only ate one meal. The feeling hit me like a ton of bricks when I saw a picture of myself on Facebook and I look to weigh a ton.

I am never attractive enough to have decent men and I am always in unhealthy relationships.

I am so sorry if I am rambling but I am an emotional wreck. I haven't spoken to or talk with anyone since yesterday. I am very sad

Replies

  • Minga69
    Minga69 Posts: 3 Member
    Hello. I have a lot going on in my life and it is taking a toll on my mental well being. I am a teacher and a grad student. I love my career and studying to further my education. However, I feel so low. I am short on cash and I know that it is temporary but I am tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I am also dieting and have lost 35 pounds. I am not sure where these depressive feelings are coming from. I haven't felt this way since last year. Last year was very horrible for me and I thought maybe I overcame feeling this way
    but now the feelings are back.

    I decided to open myself up to dating again and I broke it off because I started feeling insecure and I felt as if the guy was just not ready to date. I am falling behind in graduate school and currently short on cash at the moment.

    Yesterday I cried for hours and only ate one meal. The feeling hit me like a ton of bricks when I saw a picture of myself on Facebook and I look to weigh a ton.

    I am never attractive enough to have decent men and I am always in unhealthy relationships.

    I am so sorry if I am rambling but I am an emotional wreck. I haven't spoken to or talk with anyone since yesterday. I am very sad

    You're not alone. Believe me. I'm there with you but things will get better.
  • gingerdonalds
    gingerdonalds Posts: 9 Member
    You are definitely not alone. I was a teacher for seven years and April/May tends to hit educators hard. It’s almost like seasonal depression. You have a lot on your plate right now and I bet you are feeling like you are losing control. As you said, some of these problems are temporary. You can get through this and come out a stronger person. I applaud you for leaving your significant other. That takes guts to pull out of a relationship. Give yourself a few months to gain strength before dating again. Also, make sure to go outside when the sun is out and take a long walk. A therapist friend of mine said that sunshine and exercise can work wonders.
    You are already on the way to becoming the person you want to be. Just stop to think about what a wonderful person you already are.
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,899 Member
    Your relationship with yourself is first right now! Make yourself happy and move...walk...exercise to get rid of that "thinking" energy! Getting your health in order is primary!
    You are in no shape for a male....you will settle for anything right now. Journal your thoughts and feelings then put it on a shelf.
  • mshieldnight95
    mshieldnight95 Posts: 11 Member
    Starting to feel self conscious of my weight. I way 139 now and was 125 last year. feel free to add me. I need to start drinking more water and walking on Tuesdays and Thursdays between classes.
  • artbyrachelh
    artbyrachelh Posts: 338 Member
    The uplifting comments here are inspiring! I can't really add to it except Facebook depresses me, too. Can you spend less time on social media? I took all social media off my phone (except MFP app), and it has been so liberating for me. I hope you get the help you need, I wish you peace and joy!
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,169 Member
    This sounds so rough on you. Please get in to see your doctor as soon as you can. And check to see whether as a student you have access to on-campus counseling at a reduced or free service. It is not uncommon for student fees to go toward supporting access to mental health support. Please don't wait. You're worth it!
  • Pastaprincess1978
    Pastaprincess1978 Posts: 371 Member
    It's rough for you and I'm sorry for that. You're probably already doing this but start going back to basics and making sure you are getting enough nutrients and sleep. Talk to some friends, distract yourself but above all keep going. This is not permanent and it will get better.

    Definitely seeing a therapist is a good idea.

  • Pastaprincess1978
    Pastaprincess1978 Posts: 371 Member
    The uplifting comments here are inspiring! I can't really add to it except Facebook depresses me, too. Can you spend less time on social media? I took all social media off my phone (except MFP app), and it has been so liberating for me. I hope you get the help you need, I wish you peace and joy!

    omg - I haven't really accessed fb much in the last 18 months and it's been such a relief - should I delete my account lol?

    I keep in contact with distant friends via email and it's so much better.
  • WillingtoLose1001984
    WillingtoLose1001984 Posts: 240 Member
    Minga69 wrote: »
    It helps to know you're not alone in your struggles. I'm dealing with divorce , weight, money , and trying to build my confidence up again. It's hard but knowing your not alone helps.

    Me too. I feel like I have to start over again since separation and that really depresses me. I am 33 so too old for this!
  • lucerorojo
    lucerorojo Posts: 790 Member
    Grad school in itself is very stressful and takes a toll on many people's emotional and physical states. To add a relationship and dieting on to that is even more. I've never done therapy, but others have recommended it to you. If that is not something you pursue, I recommend thinking of your SELF first. Mental and physical wellness. If you don't have that everything else is so much more difficult to deal with. We can only live in the moment, in the present. Take it day by day and take care of yourself first.
  • TeachergirlCeleste
    TeachergirlCeleste Posts: 66 Member
    Hey everyone here is an update. I feel even more down and just want to leave work altogether. The guy friend I was talking to left me and I believe it was my own insecurities that made him leave. I gave up my celibacy for him and afterward, I felt as if he was acting a little distant. He told me it was because of family issues. We started to text again but I noticed that he would frequent the dating app where we meet and I decided to message him on there and he blocked me. I then got upset and flew off the handle and when I am angry I say a lot of things to trigger people and I do not really mean what I say. He then went off me and called me crazy and that he really liked me but I am too crazy.

    He is not the first man to call me this and I feel so bad. I just want to go home and not be here. It's so hard to teach small kids when I am not having a chipper day.

    I really want to apologize but I will wait some weeks to talk to him again. We both need space right now and I am too emotional to even try to apologize. I miss him and we had a lot of connection.

    Also, today is Monday and I have to hit the gym. I really feel like not doing anything
  • TeachergirlCeleste
    TeachergirlCeleste Posts: 66 Member
    I then failed a class in my grad program! I just cant figure out my life right now
  • emmamcgarity
    emmamcgarity Posts: 1,594 Member
    You have value. You are worth being treated well. You matter.

    Consider seeing a counselor but I understand you may be reluctant. I have struggled with depression for years. If you can’t afford one there may be counseling available in your area at a community center or church. Don’t be afraid to call and ask.

    Take baby steps. One meal at a time. Focus only on the things you can control. Right now you can control your next meal. You can control making the voice to go fir a walk. Don’t try to do everything each day. Break it into smaller tasks
  • mudknuckles
    mudknuckles Posts: 1,417 Member
    edited April 2018
    One quick point decent men care about you, not your appearance. There's a lot of "body beautifuls" on this site most of them fall on the shallow end of decency. Feel free to add me if talking to a stranger will help.
  • 100_PROOF_
    100_PROOF_ Posts: 1,168 Member
    Just a shot in the dark. Have yourself checked for hypothyroidism. I had it and it caused me to have depression. The fluoride in our water system is causing this in a very, very lot of people. If you have it the doctors will but you on a thyroxine medication, which they did me and it wrecked havoc on my urinary tact system. Did stop my depression, but I couldn't handle what it was doing to me, not to mention it was not really solving the problem. Stopped the meds and began talking kelp and salt with iodine. Went organic and the best thing I ever did was got me a water filter system that got fluoride out of my water.
    Your body thinks the fluoride is what it needs and quits making what it really needs. Can't go into details, you will just have to research it to reach your own conclusions.

    Can you post this research? Where are you researching that says this and what proof can you provide to back up your theory?
  • ChildrenCryinNCoffee
    ChildrenCryinNCoffee Posts: 477 Member
    I’m a mental health advocator & Peer Support Specialist for both NAMI & DBSA. If anyone needs someone to talk to about your mental health while stabilizing your physical health, add me & send me a message. I’m here to support any way I can.
  • Aka4320162018
    Aka4320162018 Posts: 15 Member
    Minga69 wrote: »
    Hello. I have a lot going on in my life and it is taking a toll on my mental well being. I am a teacher and a grad student. I love my career and studying to further my education. However, I feel so low. I am short on cash and I know that it is temporary but I am tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I am also dieting and have lost 35 pounds. I am not sure where these depressive feelings are coming from. I haven't felt this way since last year. Last year was very horrible for me and I thought maybe I overcame feeling this way
    but now the feelings are back.

    I decided to open myself up to dating again and I broke it off because I started feeling insecure and I felt as if the guy was just not ready to date. I am falling behind in graduate school and currently short on cash at the moment.

    Yesterday I cried for hours and only ate one meal. The feeling hit me like a ton of bricks when I saw a picture of myself on Facebook and I look to weigh a ton.

    I am never attractive enough to have decent men and I am always in unhealthy relationships.

    I am so sorry if I am rambling but I am an emotional wreck. I haven't spoken to or talk with anyone since yesterday. I am very sad

    You're not alone. Believe me. I'm there with you but things will get better.

  • Aka4320162018
    Aka4320162018 Posts: 15 Member
    Listen my friends, you are going to be ok, I like you an going through a rough patch in my life, but it will all work out in time, maybe not how we want but how it is supposed to be. Please contact me if you want to talk I am here for you, and maybe we can help each other.
  • mbgpackers
    mbgpackers Posts: 2 Member
    Hello. I have a lot going on in my life and it is taking a toll on my mental well being. I am a teacher and a grad student. I love my career and studying to further my education. However, I feel so low. I am short on cash and I know that it is temporary but I am tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I am also dieting and have lost 35 pounds. I am not sure where these depressive feelings are coming from. I haven't felt this way since last year. Last year was very horrible for me and I thought maybe I overcame feeling this way
    but now the feelings are back.

    I decided to open myself up to dating again and I broke it off because I started feeling insecure and I felt as if the guy was just not ready to date. I am falling behind in graduate school and currently short on cash at the moment.

    Yesterday I cried for hours and only ate one meal. The feeling hit me like a ton of bricks when I saw a picture of myself on Facebook and I look to weigh a ton.

    I am never attractive enough to have decent men and I am always in unhealthy relationships.

    I am so sorry if I am rambling but I am an emotional wreck. I haven't spoken to or talk with anyone since yesterday. I am very sad

  • mbgpackers
    mbgpackers Posts: 2 Member
    Keep hanging in there. I myself feel overwhelmed more and more lately but you gotta stay strong. Even in the darkest of times when there doesn’t seem there is a light at the end of the tunnel you must stay strong. Celebrate the little victories and don’t dwell on negative moments. Try to keep a positive mindset!
    Godspeed
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