Creepy dudes ruining workout

quebot
quebot Posts: 99 Member
edited November 25 in Motivation and Support
I have been going to the gym through the winter. Walking is my current main workout. Today was a beautiful day so I decided to walk into "the village." I live in an urban area and it's about a 2 mile walk to the closest strip of restaurants and bars. The walk is through a residential low income/gentrified area, crosses the interstate (bridge), then through a bit of an upscale side of town before arriving to the shops. I used to take a different route before I realized a redhead in that area was a prostitute and sold drugs and many people mistook me for her. Today I was walking in a different direction and a man stopped his truck, pulled around on a side street, and waited for me. I had my head phones in. I recognized him. I walked to the bar one afternoon for trivia, and he stopped that night as well. Both today and the day officially, he asked if I needed a ride. Both times in the same (secluded) stretch of road. Does he not recognize the creep factor here? Or is he an actual creep? I just want to be able to walk to my local coffee shop and this guy is almost creepy enough to deter me from doing it. He's not alone though, several men will stop driving in the middle of a road to ask to give me a ride. I'm obviously wearing workout clothes. I'm obviously walking on purpose. I usually just ignore them and stare straight forward. But it's discouraging. I don't know what I'm looking for. Maybe a virtual hug? Maybe some solidarity?

Replies

  • Time2LoseTheWait
    Time2LoseTheWait Posts: 154 Member
    That’s sad. I’m sure there is a solution, but I’m not thinking of one in the moment. That whole thing sounds to me a little more than just a creep who is creeping .. because it sounds like the area itself has more than a few “creepy” things going on there. So you’d think that’s exactly where the creeps would collect.
  • gcconroy29
    gcconroy29 Posts: 85 Member
    I think you're doing the right thing by ignoring them. They are creeps but they could be so much worse than that. I'd love for you to tell them off but that can be so risky depending on the creep.

    Be aware, be safe. Wear headphones so you can ignore but keep them low/turn them off when you should. Make sure people know where you going just in case.

    I hate that this is the best advice to give. I'm a wreck now that my 14 year old is starting to exercise with friends.
  • andreaen
    andreaen Posts: 365 Member
    Sending a big hug! That sounds terrible, I really hope you get rid of him somehow
  • Mellykay88
    Mellykay88 Posts: 307 Member
    Unfortunately there are many places that women can’t safely be on their own and it sucks. The other day I was looking through the clearance clothing at Walmart and a creep approached me asking where I’m from, what’s my name, creepy comments, etc. I ignored him at first, then replied “nowhere” which should have been an indication that I was not interested in talking to him. I then walked away and he FOLLOWED me. I told him I would call the police if he did not leave me alone and he took the hint. I have no advice... but I understand what it’s like.
  • OceanAddict
    OceanAddict Posts: 55 Member
    That is creepy and gross and I'm sorry it is ruining your workout. :(
  • knightreader
    knightreader Posts: 813 Member
    it sounds like these guys are asking if you want a different kind of ride. be careful, for sure.
  • jog1111
    jog1111 Posts: 7 Member
    Take an air horn with you... I think some public attention would make these guys leave you alone. The “secluded” road is a dead give away that they don’t want other people to see them harassing you. Be loud, don’t be afraid to make a scene. Creepy guys use that fear to their advantage.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,571 Member
    Is there no other way to walk? I live in NYC so I feel you. I have had my share of really uncomfortable moments on the street with men. But I either never see them again, or I see them all the time and have told them off.

    Start carrying something to protect yourself. Try it different route if possible. Make sure your phone is on you and let someone know when you are out for a walk.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    edited April 2018
    I would find a different way to walk even if it's longer. They are creeps and they frequent that area. Unfortunate but true.
  • Sayanogo
    Sayanogo Posts: 34 Member
    If it were me, I wouldn't keep walking there. It sounds like an area where men go to prey. While you should be able to go for a walk without being harrassed, sometimes that's not the reality.

    If you can pick a different route with more traffic, less seclusion, that could help. Bringing protection and having safe calls and all that is more stressful for me. Not the recipe for a relaxing walk. If you feel unsafe, preparing for a fight probably won't make you feel more safe. It just highlights how unsafe you are. (I'm not saying don't do these things, but if your goal is to de-stress being in a dangerous area doesn't sound helpful.)
  • quebot
    quebot Posts: 99 Member
    It's right outside my neighborhood. If I turn left off my street, I'm mistaken for a prostitute. If I turn right, I get all the offers for a ride. My street is a circle, so both ends take you to the same main street. It's in Atlanta, so a bit different than New York. While on two mile walks, I'll only see 2 or 3 other pedestrians. I could drive and park to walk in a different part of town, and I do that sometimes, but occasionally I just want to squeeze a workout into the regular part of my day. Part of what I love about living in the city is having so many things in walking/ biking distance.
  • MsMaeFlowers
    MsMaeFlowers Posts: 261 Member
    Maybe you could ask the prostitute to dye her hair? Get a shirt that says "not a sex worker please leave me alone?"

    Being totally sarcastic here, but sometimes you just have to laugh at things to keep from crying about them. Men are just so damn terrible sometimes. I had an actual pimp try to "give me a ride" one day when I lived in California. Very persistent but I managed to get away from him and never walked that way again.

    I feel your struggles. Maybe you could talk to the local PD and ask if they could start driving that road a bit more frequently on their patrols and see if that helps deter the weirdos from harassing women out for walks?
  • quebot
    quebot Posts: 99 Member
    MsMaeFlowers wrote: »
    Maybe you could ask the prostitute to dye her hair? Get a shirt that says "not a sex worker please leave me alone?"

    Being totally sarcastic here, but sometimes you just have to laugh at things to keep from crying about them. Men are just so damn terrible sometimes. I had an actual pimp try to "give me a ride" one day when I lived in California. Very persistent but I managed to get away from him and never walked that way again.

    I feel your struggles. Maybe you could talk to the local PD and ask if they could start driving that road a bit more frequently on their patrols and see if that helps deter the weirdos from harassing women out for walks?

    Laughing does help. Quite a bit. The neighbors and I have gotten the cops the patrol more. (In both directions). There was a drive by random murder last week of a 3 year old boy on my street, and the guy hasn't been caught yet, as well as uptick in other random crime (ohhh spring time in the city- and the gang wars and recruiting are simply joyful). Cops are crawling the streets regularly. Our local PD is a tad bit stretched currently since APD and Atlanta computer systems were hacked, leaving half the department compromised. They are doing an ok job keeping up with things though. I've seen this neighborhood change a lot over the past ten years, but we still have a way to go. My yard is used as a run through because it's where a lot of people run from the cops, so I have a cop car in front of my house multiple times a day. They just arrested someone who was running by foot last month after stealing a cop car after a high speed chase. Next time I see them, I'll talk to them about that side street and the creepy guys. Maybe I can get someone to sit there in the mornings when I walk. I know I'm not the only one who wants to be able to walk that way.
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    quebot wrote: »
    It's right outside my neighborhood. If I turn left off my street, I'm mistaken for a prostitute. If I turn right, I get all the offers for a ride. My street is a circle, so both ends take you to the same main street. It's in Atlanta, so a bit different than New York. While on two mile walks, I'll only see 2 or 3 other pedestrians. I could drive and park to walk in a different part of town, and I do that sometimes, but occasionally I just want to squeeze a workout into the regular part of my day. Part of what I love about living in the city is having so many things in walking/ biking distance.

    Where in Atlanta do you live(if you don't want to say I understand)? I lived in Lilburn right outside of Atlanta for many years. I left there about 8 years ago.
  • 100_PROOF_
    100_PROOF_ Posts: 1,168 Member
    quebot wrote: »
    MsMaeFlowers wrote: »
    Maybe you could ask the prostitute to dye her hair? Get a shirt that says "not a sex worker please leave me alone?"

    Being totally sarcastic here, but sometimes you just have to laugh at things to keep from crying about them. Men are just so damn terrible sometimes. I had an actual pimp try to "give me a ride" one day when I lived in California. Very persistent but I managed to get away from him and never walked that way again.

    I feel your struggles. Maybe you could talk to the local PD and ask if they could start driving that road a bit more frequently on their patrols and see if that helps deter the weirdos from harassing women out for walks?

    Laughing does help. Quite a bit. The neighbors and I have gotten the cops the patrol more. (In both directions). There was a drive by random murder last week of a 3 year old boy on my street, and the guy hasn't been caught yet, as well as uptick in other random crime (ohhh spring time in the city- and the gang wars and recruiting are simply joyful). Cops are crawling the streets regularly. Our local PD is a tad bit stretched currently since APD and Atlanta computer systems were hacked, leaving half the department compromised. They are doing an ok job keeping up with things though. I've seen this neighborhood change a lot over the past ten years, but we still have a way to go. My yard is used as a run through because it's where a lot of people run from the cops, so I have a cop car in front of my house multiple times a day. They just arrested someone who was running by foot last month after stealing a cop car after a high speed chase. Next time I see them, I'll talk to them about that side street and the creepy guys. Maybe I can get someone to sit there in the mornings when I walk. I know I'm not the only one who wants to be able to walk that way.

    Your planning to ask a cop that works in an urban area that is" stretched" to sit there in the mornings while your walking?
    You stated that there's murder, gangs and police chases in your area but yet also say you'll talk to him about sitting there in the morning while you walk just in case a creepy dude tries to pick you up ?
  • PAFC84
    PAFC84 Posts: 1,871 Member
    edited April 2018
    It sounds like you are still getting mistaken for the/a prostitute and these men are curb crawling; that sounds harsh but I don't mean it offensively.

    I would be careful about listening to music whilst walking in this area and stay on the main "roads"/paths as much as possible.

    I think you're idea of talking to the cops is a good one. If you could find some other people to go with you it might carry more weight but you don't want to make it obvious as the characters in your neighbourhood sound unsavoury.
  • quebot
    quebot Posts: 99 Member
    Annie_01 wrote: »
    quebot wrote: »
    It's right outside my neighborhood. If I turn left off my street, I'm mistaken for a prostitute. If I turn right, I get all the offers for a ride. My street is a circle, so both ends take you to the same main street. It's in Atlanta, so a bit different than New York. While on two mile walks, I'll only see 2 or 3 other pedestrians. I could drive and park to walk in a different part of town, and I do that sometimes, but occasionally I just want to squeeze a workout into the regular part of my day. Part of what I love about living in the city is having so many things in walking/ biking distance.

    Where in Atlanta do you live(if you don't want to say I understand)? I lived in Lilburn right outside of Atlanta for many years. I left there about 8 years ago.

    Walking distance to East Atlanta Village. (Near Little 5 Points)
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    quebot wrote: »
    Annie_01 wrote: »
    quebot wrote: »
    It's right outside my neighborhood. If I turn left off my street, I'm mistaken for a prostitute. If I turn right, I get all the offers for a ride. My street is a circle, so both ends take you to the same main street. It's in Atlanta, so a bit different than New York. While on two mile walks, I'll only see 2 or 3 other pedestrians. I could drive and park to walk in a different part of town, and I do that sometimes, but occasionally I just want to squeeze a workout into the regular part of my day. Part of what I love about living in the city is having so many things in walking/ biking distance.

    Where in Atlanta do you live(if you don't want to say I understand)? I lived in Lilburn right outside of Atlanta for many years. I left there about 8 years ago.

    Walking distance to East Atlanta Village. (Near Little 5 Points)

    Little 5 Points is a great little neighborhood and a great destination for a walk. I hope you find a way to continue your walks. I love having a place to walk to. I have lived in DC, Seattle, Portland Or and now Austin and love the neighborhoods for walking. In DC, Seattle and Portland I had to walk through some unsavory parts to get to those neighborhoods but it was well worth it. I learned real fast not to walk when it was dark. Once in DC early in the morning while still dark I sat down for a break and within a minute some guy had joined me on the bench...close beside me. I think he had been following me. I showed no fear...told him I didn't need company and I walked off. After that I waited until daylight.
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