One year on MFP ........

This is kind of long and a day early but ........

First..... stats.... I'm 58 5'4"

April 10, 2017 = 288 lbs
April 10, 2018 = 179 lbs
Sometime this summer = goal weight 160 lbs

Growing up I was very much a tomboy….. loved the outdoors and was pretty athletic.
In high school I was Female Athlete of the Year.

Ahhhh the glory days.

I started gaining weight right after I left school and its organized sports.
Then well life……….

Got married, had our twin boys, and struggled to make ends meet…..lol.

I always used food as my escape….. it’s my drug of choice.

When I didn’t want to think about things I’d hide away for a few minutes with food and pretend it would all go away.
It wasn't that I was unhappy, I had a wonderful family, good friends but I had become resigned.

I was 45 and I’d “settled” with my over weight 265 lb body. I thought that this was the way my life would always be.





Then in Feb of 2004 I was watching Oprah while making supper and listened to Wynonna Judd talk about her lifelong struggles with self-esteem and weight. Don’t ask me why, but it struck a chord. Here I am in rural Manitoba sharing the exact same feelings as a Country Superstar!

So I literally went out that very same week, bought a treadmill and Dr. Phil’s Food Guide.
In 11 months I lost 105 lbs.

Exactly one year after that Oprah show I ran my first half marathon, and later that year completed my first full marathon.

I had found myself!!

Running wasn’t just my passion, it was my salvation!
.
My sister was so proud of me she emailed Dr. Phil and Oprah. I’ve had the honor and thrill to have appeared on both of their shows.





For 5 years running was everything. I ran 17 half marathons, 4 full marathons & 1 ultra-marathon.
I was teaching learn to run classes and speaking to them about my weight loss journey.




And then I had one knee injury and surgery. Then the other knee and surgery.

Looking back, it’s almost like those years were some strange wonderful dream that happened to someone else. I distinctly remember having a panic attack in a Walmart parking lot because I felt like I was in someone else’s body, that I wasn’t really this slim person and that everyone knew I was just a fat liar.

Not being able to run anymore just proved it….. I mean, I was Cheryl…. the woman who lost 100lbs, ran marathons and was on Oprah…. if I can’t run then that Cheryl never really existed and the real me was that overweight person I was seeing in the mirror again.

And I went back to my drug of choice when I didn’t want to think about any of it.

So fast forward to 2017. I'm almost 290 lbs. I had gained all the weight back and more.

I could hardly walk or even stand because of back and bone on bone knee pain. I looked at recent pictures of myself from our son’s wedding and didn’t recognize me.

I cringed if anyone even mentioned my running days, embarrassed and ashamed.

…… it took me awhile, but I had found rock bottom.




So I went to my old running orthopedic Dr and said shoot me up with whatever you got cause I know I have to lose weight before they will even contemplate knee replacement. He disagreed, said how can you lose weight if you’re not mobile and referred me. His faith gave me purpose.

I logged onto MyFitnessPal and saw a dietitian.

I knew what I needed to do….. I could teach classes on what to do….. heck I DID teach classes on it!

Thankfully technology has advanced..... instead of a laptop program I downloaded MFP and started logging my food and exercise..... but it probably took 3 months before I could do any real exercise - mostly biking and rowing. It wasn't till almost winter before I could go out for some walks. Now thanks to cortisone shots and weight loss I walk almost everyday.

I'm still hoping to get that knee replacement this summer.

The key for me was logging my food..... being accountable to my daily goal and never ever taking my eye off the end prize.

I've lost 109 lbs since last April with about another 20 lbs to my first initial goal.
(I've had the flu from hell the last week, hence the big sudden drop since that last pic)




What is different this time?????

I’m older, wiser, humbler.

And I had some really, really good talks with my husband.

I’m not going to hide my feelings behind food anymore, whether he likes it or not, I’m going to tell him how I’m feeling…..lol. And I’ve asked him to please talk to me if he sees me stumbling, to not be afraid of hurting my feelings.

I’m learning that I don’t have to run marathons to stay slim, just live my normal relatively active life doing the things I love to do.

I’m learning that I’m not the only one in the world who will always have to be mindful when it comes to food because for me it’s a very fine line between sustenance and drug…… between enjoyment and mindless oblivion.

I’m learning that I can eat anything I want, but the ability to take a minute and think about that choice is a powerful thing.

Lastly, I’m finally learning to be comfortable in my own skin…. loose and wrinkly as it is.