Feeling defeated from someone's insensitive remarks today
Options
stevenscott5582
Posts: 13 Member
Hi everyone,
I'm sorry if this is not the right forum but I'm feeling kind of defeated today and need to vent.
I'm still obese but am making great progress on my weight loss goals. MyFitnessPal is truly a blessing, by the way.
Anyway, today, my wife and I decided to go to a local park to walk. We're usually at the gym but decided to take advantage of the nice weather. As I finished my first lap around the park, a lady whom I don't even know decides to ask me:
Her: "Are you all out trying to lose some weight?"
Me: "Yeah, just enjoying the nice weather."
Her: Have you ever seen that show "Bariatric Surgery?" (She meant TLC's "My 600 Pound Life.")
Me: "Yeah."
Her: "You should really try that!" "They have people 600 or more pounds on there losing weight." "I think it would really work for you!"
While I'm still medically obese, I'm nowhere near the size of people on that show. It was almost like she was trying to sell weight loss surgery to me.
Now, I'm trying to walk away the whole time and instead of turning around and censuring her for her insensitive remarks, I'm shocked to the core at what I'm hearing. I turn to my wife, whose several feet behind me and inform her what the lady said. Naturally, she was furious and wanted to tell her off. I was still in so much shock and felt humiliated and defeated, I just wanted to leave.
I don't think her remarks were made out of malice but seriously, how could she NOT see that a comment like that directed at someone trying to better their health would be insulting??
Why do people feel it's their business to but in on things like this?!
I'm sorry if this is not the right forum but I'm feeling kind of defeated today and need to vent.
I'm still obese but am making great progress on my weight loss goals. MyFitnessPal is truly a blessing, by the way.
Anyway, today, my wife and I decided to go to a local park to walk. We're usually at the gym but decided to take advantage of the nice weather. As I finished my first lap around the park, a lady whom I don't even know decides to ask me:
Her: "Are you all out trying to lose some weight?"
Me: "Yeah, just enjoying the nice weather."
Her: Have you ever seen that show "Bariatric Surgery?" (She meant TLC's "My 600 Pound Life.")
Me: "Yeah."
Her: "You should really try that!" "They have people 600 or more pounds on there losing weight." "I think it would really work for you!"
While I'm still medically obese, I'm nowhere near the size of people on that show. It was almost like she was trying to sell weight loss surgery to me.
Now, I'm trying to walk away the whole time and instead of turning around and censuring her for her insensitive remarks, I'm shocked to the core at what I'm hearing. I turn to my wife, whose several feet behind me and inform her what the lady said. Naturally, she was furious and wanted to tell her off. I was still in so much shock and felt humiliated and defeated, I just wanted to leave.
I don't think her remarks were made out of malice but seriously, how could she NOT see that a comment like that directed at someone trying to better their health would be insulting??
Why do people feel it's their business to but in on things like this?!
58
Replies
-
People are crazy, there is just no other explanation.11
-
Man, I wish I was there! I’d tell her off! Some people are just stupid. Hugs3
-
Sad, damaged people gain a feeling of control (that they lack in their own life) by belittling others. I wouldn’t worry about it.7
-
There is just no excuse for some people. Put what she said out of your mind and move on. Do not let people who mean nothing to you control your state of mind or steal your peace from you.
6 -
stevenscott5582 wrote: »Hi everyone,
I'm sorry if this is not the right forum but I'm feeling kind of defeated today and need to vent.
I'm still obese but am making great progress on my weight loss goals. MyFitnessPal is truly a blessing, by the way.
Anyway, today, my wife and I decided to go to a local park to walk. We're usually at the gym but decided to take advantage of the nice weather. As I finished my first lap around the park, a lady whom I don't even know decides to ask me:
Her: "Are you all out trying to lose some weight?"
Me: "Yeah, just enjoying the nice weather."
Her: Have you ever seen that show "Bariatric Surgery?" (She meant TLC's "My 600 Pound Life.")
Me: "Yeah."
Her: "You should really try that!" "They have people 600 or more pounds on there losing weight." "I think it would really work for you!"
While I'm still medically obese, I'm nowhere near the size of people on that show. It was almost like she was trying to sell weight loss surgery to me.
Now, I'm trying to walk away the whole time and instead of turning around and censuring her for her insensitive remarks, I'm shocked to the core at what I'm hearing. I turn to my wife, whose several feet behind me and inform her what the lady said. Naturally, she was furious and wanted to tell her off. I was still in so much shock and felt humiliated and defeated, I just wanted to leave.
I don't think her remarks were made out of malice but seriously, how could she NOT see that a comment like that directed at someone trying to better their health would be insulting??
Why do people feel it's their business to but in on things like this?!
My answer to that obnoxious person:
"And you should try to have a lobotomy; I think it would really work for you."
35 -
I'd go with the classic: I may be fat but you're stupid and I can lose weight. Feel free to add me. Courage18
-
Some people have no clue....a couple of good retorts have already been mentioned. Just realize that some people are ignorant and allow her her ignorance....just don't let it bring YOU down....10
-
Don't let some meaningless nobody get into your head. Keep up the good work and forget the loser and her thoughtless remarks.9
-
Some people are rude on purpose, some have no idea how rude they are. Either way, it hurts. I'm sorry that happened today.5
-
It just makes her sound super ignorant honestly. Like wtf?6
-
You must carry on regardless of ignorant people.
"what doesn't kill you will make you stronger!"
Be Strong and Carry On! {《HUGS》}2 -
Thank you all so very much for the outpouring of support and encouragement! Your words have made me feel much better. I'm not going to let her ignorance deter me one bit. 14
-
People no longer have manners. Hold your head high and carry on!
3 -
This kind of post is very common on MFP. It's almost as if, because we are learning self-control and discipline ourselves, that we want to control everyone's reactions to "our" weight loss journey. We don't like anyone to notice. We feel uncomfortable if anyone says anything. Sometimes it even seems that we want others to walk with their eyes downcast and not look at us, even if our weight loss is happening dramatically right in front of their eyes. Don't see me! Don't notice me doing this! Especially don't say anything!
That's our problem, not theirs. They have a right to see. They have a right to use their own mouths to speak their own words and their own thoughts. You have no control over them. Your control stops at the boundary of your skin.
It's an interesting psychological observation, how we might have had no control over ourselves- which got us in our predicaments- but think we should be able to control others to keep them from doing or saying things that 'we don't like'. But they are the boss of themselves. Get back on track and worry about your own span of control; yourself. You can't control what others say; they own their mouths and thoughts. But you CAN control how you feel about what they say.16 -
Wtf who actually does that?
Dirt off your shoulder anyway, just brush it off, carry on 1 -
Walking away without lowering yourself to her level is probably the best thing you could do.
Some people have the social competences of shoe boxes and no reasoning with them changes anything. You'll just end up frustrated on top of anything else.
You're doing great. No matter what some idiotic stranger may thing. Keep doing what you're doing, because you know it's working!
(((Hugs)))5 -
Agree with others that some people are just cluelessly insensitive versus deliberately mean. It doesn't matter which category this person falls into.
Feel good about what you're doing for yourself and keep it up!0 -
"Sorry, I don't take medical advice from strangers or amateurs"4
-
"sorry, where did you say you got your medical degree from again?"3
-
Isn't it sad that people are actually that dumb? I feel so sorry for her. I hope she has someone to help her make it through life.
People just shouldn't be that dumb.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 389 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 919 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions