Feeling defeated from someone's insensitive remarks today
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deannalfisher wrote: »"sorry, where did you say you got your medical degree from again?"
I've actually used that one.
My wife has "an invisible medical condition" that warranted a parking placard for a while.
*Kitten*-"You don't look handicapped"
Me-"That's Ok, You don't look like our doctor"14 -
stanmann571 wrote: »deannalfisher wrote: »"sorry, where did you say you got your medical degree from again?"
I've actually used that one.
My wife has "an invisible medical condition" that warranted a parking placard for a while.
*Kitten*-"You don't look handicapped"
Me-"That's Ok, You don't look like our doctor"
i've used it on ppl who try to give me advice about treating thyroid issues that have no medical research to back it up1 -
deannalfisher wrote: »stanmann571 wrote: »deannalfisher wrote: »"sorry, where did you say you got your medical degree from again?"
I've actually used that one.
My wife has "an invisible medical condition" that warranted a parking placard for a while.
*Kitten*-"You don't look handicapped"
Me-"That's Ok, You don't look like our doctor"
i've used it on ppl who try to give me advice about treating thyroid issues that have no medical research to back it up
And didn't you know becoming vegan cures all GI diseases2 -
Like potholes, stupid people are everywhere and they're hard to avoid. Just keep carrying on and stick to the wicket.4
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Been there, asked why I don't loose weight when I already had lost quite a bit. deflated is a good word for it.
I would just leave her comments behind, stop carrying them with you - they are history.1 -
I would have asked her if she's seen the show "Botched" where plastic surgeons fix people who had bad plastic surgery...
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I would like to apologize on behalf of that woman, because you deserve an apology. Regardless of her intentions, whether to be kind, starting a conversation, or "drop some knowledge on you", that is not the time nor the place, nor the appropriate response to someone out working it, as you were. People tend to think that their 2 cents are worthy to be heard, and more often than not thoughts are better kept to themselves, especially when there is no relationship between the two parties.
I hope you are able to take this atrocious experience and add it to your armor as you continue your journey to become a healthier you. You deserve support and all the happiness, no one deserves dim witted Netflix advice.2 -
That person's reaction to you is ENTIRELY a reflection on the person, not of you. It was deaf to you (noticed that whatever you said was more or less ignored) and just a monologue about whatever was in that person's head. In the core there's probably a smidgen of good intention, honestly - but delivered in such a way as to be entirely insensitive to you.5
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Insensitive to you may be just small talk to others. I've been in customer service as an employee and an owner for 40 years and can tell you without a doubt that everyone should shut up. Me, you, her, him...we're all numbies.
btw, surgery is an option only if you've conquered your food addiction.4 -
You hear it all the time. "Oh you should try this, I hear it works great", or "theres this new thing that everyones been talking about" and "this thing I saw on TV helped all those people", etc. They think theyve got a solution for you, even though you never asked. Theyre not doing it out of malice, just trying to be (ignorantly) helpful. I find its easier to just say thanks, and move on. I know what works for me, and I know their solutions are full of it.
Now if theyre persistent about it, yeah, they can bugger off.0 -
stanmann571 wrote: »deannalfisher wrote: »"sorry, where did you say you got your medical degree from again?"
I've actually used that one.
My wife has "an invisible medical condition" that warranted a parking placard for a while.
*Kitten*-"You don't look handicapped"
Me-"That's Ok, You don't look like our doctor"
i've used that too.
i have a few invisible conditions and another family member has had multiple joint replacements. once she asked if he wanted to see the scar.
OP. dumb people are dumb and sadly nothing can be done for them them. screw em and keep up the good work
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OP: What an awful experience. I've had a few of my own that have cut me to the core. Keep working toward your goals, you are doing great- and you have a whole host of people that have your back!1
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I really would have been tempted to say "oh, is that how you did it?" Then again, I'm a well-known smart *kitten*.
Just ignore stupid people, they really aren't worth the time.4 -
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There is no way going up to a stranger and instantly asking them if they are trying to lose weight and recommending surgery based on a tv show is normal, polite, nice. That is just super weird behavior.
There is something wrong with her that losing weight would not fix.
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That woman is a crazy uncouth weirdo and probably not well-liked even by her own family.
Carry on with your efforts secure in that knowledge.0 -
So....you met the winner of the "insensitivity award" today.2
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It is terribly disheartening, even if it's said out of ignorance with positive intentions. Screw their positive intentions. What's the saying? "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." People need to be expected to do better instead of being told they have a right to blurt out every thought they have. Now, I do expect people I am acquainted with to make comments because they see the difference happening. Okay, fine, be curious and ask, that's cool. But ya know, when a total stranger who's never seen me before makes an assumption that because I'm outside walking it means they can advise me on weight loss, well, they need to be prepared to hear what I think about their presumptuous self righteousness. Who knows...maybe one of them will learn something and not say stupid crap to the next not-skinny person out talking a walk. Or at the very least, will instead comment on what a nice day it is and how great it feels to be outside instead of discussing a stranger's private health. Gah. If it helps any, these are usually the same people who will stare at a person with a replacement limb and then start blurting out all kinds of intrusive comments to them. It truly is THEM making assumptions about anything they perceive as different in their eyes.
When I first started on my fitness journey, I was taken by surprise by these comments regarding my shrinking physique as well as my physical activity, so I was unprepared. Now, though, I'm ready for them. For the lady in the gym who says "keep it up and you'll lose weight in no time" I told her "actually, my focus is on strength, so thanks for noticing my hard work to build muscle." And the man who interrupted me smack in the middle of a lift to have me put down my weights and take out my earbuds so he could tell me I was not doing a real move and was going to hurt myself, I told him "thanks for your concern, but I have a trainer and am in correct form, and I need to start over now."1 -
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Glad you shared that story, I hope the shared outrage from your fellow MFP'ers helps both you and all of us. Now, where shall I call in the airstrike?4
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