Feeling defeated from someone's insensitive remarks today

stevenscott5582
stevenscott5582 Posts: 13 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone,

I'm sorry if this is not the right forum but I'm feeling kind of defeated today and need to vent.

I'm still obese but am making great progress on my weight loss goals. MyFitnessPal is truly a blessing, by the way. :smile:

Anyway, today, my wife and I decided to go to a local park to walk. We're usually at the gym but decided to take advantage of the nice weather. As I finished my first lap around the park, a lady whom I don't even know decides to ask me:

Her: "Are you all out trying to lose some weight?"

Me: "Yeah, just enjoying the nice weather."

Her: Have you ever seen that show "Bariatric Surgery?" (She meant TLC's "My 600 Pound Life.")

Me: "Yeah."

Her: "You should really try that!" "They have people 600 or more pounds on there losing weight." "I think it would really work for you!"

While I'm still medically obese, I'm nowhere near the size of people on that show. It was almost like she was trying to sell weight loss surgery to me.

Now, I'm trying to walk away the whole time and instead of turning around and censuring her for her insensitive remarks, I'm shocked to the core at what I'm hearing. I turn to my wife, whose several feet behind me and inform her what the lady said. Naturally, she was furious and wanted to tell her off. I was still in so much shock and felt humiliated and defeated, I just wanted to leave.

I don't think her remarks were made out of malice but seriously, how could she NOT see that a comment like that directed at someone trying to better their health would be insulting??

Why do people feel it's their business to but in on things like this?!
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Replies

  • L1zardQueen
    L1zardQueen Posts: 8,753 Member
    Man, I wish I was there! I’d tell her off! Some people are just stupid. Hugs
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,899 Member
    You must carry on regardless of ignorant people.
    "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger!"
    Be Strong and Carry On! {《HUGS》}
  • GingerGale1
    GingerGale1 Posts: 14 Member
    People no longer have manners. Hold your head high and carry on! B)
  • KiwiLifter
    KiwiLifter Posts: 115 Member
    Wtf who actually does that?

    Dirt off your shoulder anyway, just brush it off, carry on :)
  • whathapnd
    whathapnd Posts: 1,311 Member
    Agree with others that some people are just cluelessly insensitive versus deliberately mean. It doesn't matter which category this person falls into.

    Feel good about what you're doing for yourself and keep it up!
  • stanmann571
    stanmann571 Posts: 5,727 Member
    "Sorry, I don't take medical advice from strangers or amateurs"
  • deannalfisher
    deannalfisher Posts: 5,600 Member
    "sorry, where did you say you got your medical degree from again?"
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,464 Member
    Isn't it sad that people are actually that dumb? I feel so sorry for her. I hope she has someone to help her make it through life.
    People just shouldn't be that dumb.
  • deannalfisher
    deannalfisher Posts: 5,600 Member
    stanmann571 wrote: »
    deannalfisher wrote: »
    "sorry, where did you say you got your medical degree from again?"

    I've actually used that one.

    My wife has "an invisible medical condition" that warranted a parking placard for a while.

    *Kitten*-"You don't look handicapped"
    Me-"That's Ok, You don't look like our doctor"

    i've used it on ppl who try to give me advice about treating thyroid issues that have no medical research to back it up
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
    deannalfisher wrote: »
    stanmann571 wrote: »
    deannalfisher wrote: »
    "sorry, where did you say you got your medical degree from again?"

    I've actually used that one.

    My wife has "an invisible medical condition" that warranted a parking placard for a while.

    *Kitten*-"You don't look handicapped"
    Me-"That's Ok, You don't look like our doctor"

    i've used it on ppl who try to give me advice about treating thyroid issues that have no medical research to back it up

    And didn't you know becoming vegan cures all GI diseases
  • Sheluvsbread2much
    Sheluvsbread2much Posts: 85 Member
    Like potholes, stupid people are everywhere and they're hard to avoid. Just keep carrying on and stick to the wicket.
  • Sally_Abundance
    Sally_Abundance Posts: 10 Member
    Been there, asked why I don't loose weight when I already had lost quite a bit. deflated is a good word for it.

    I would just leave her comments behind, stop carrying them with you - they are history.
  • JenHuedy
    JenHuedy Posts: 611 Member
    I would have asked her if she's seen the show "Botched" where plastic surgeons fix people who had bad plastic surgery...
  • miss_boof
    miss_boof Posts: 45 Member
    I would like to apologize on behalf of that woman, because you deserve an apology. Regardless of her intentions, whether to be kind, starting a conversation, or "drop some knowledge on you", that is not the time nor the place, nor the appropriate response to someone out working it, as you were. People tend to think that their 2 cents are worthy to be heard, and more often than not thoughts are better kept to themselves, especially when there is no relationship between the two parties.

    I hope you are able to take this atrocious experience and add it to your armor as you continue your journey to become a healthier you. You deserve support and all the happiness, no one deserves dim witted Netflix advice.
  • pjwrt
    pjwrt Posts: 166 Member
    Insensitive to you may be just small talk to others. I've been in customer service as an employee and an owner for 40 years and can tell you without a doubt that everyone should shut up. Me, you, her, him...we're all numbies.

    btw, surgery is an option only if you've conquered your food addiction.
  • Colorfan
    Colorfan Posts: 230 Member
    You hear it all the time. "Oh you should try this, I hear it works great", or "theres this new thing that everyones been talking about" and "this thing I saw on TV helped all those people", etc. They think theyve got a solution for you, even though you never asked. Theyre not doing it out of malice, just trying to be (ignorantly) helpful. I find its easier to just say thanks, and move on. I know what works for me, and I know their solutions are full of it.

    Now if theyre persistent about it, yeah, they can bugger off.

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