Jealous of friends who lose easily and are never hungry...

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Francl27
Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
in Motivation and Support
I want to lose the 15-20 lbs I've gained back in the last 3 years and struggling so much because I'm always hungry... Meanwhile, my friend (petite, probably 10-15 lbs overweight too), has no problem losing weight while eating a slim fast for breakfast, a donut at lunch, and 3 slices of French toast for dinner - keeping a deficit of 800 calories according to her Fitbit - which would leave me totally starving... and she seems totally fine with it.

Sorry, it's just a rant really. It's so depressing to always be so hungry.

Replies

  • whitpauly
    whitpauly Posts: 1,483 Member
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    I feel the same :'(
  • Crafty_camper123
    Crafty_camper123 Posts: 1,440 Member
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    Eternally hungry as well. I find if I hit my protien goal, it really helps. But as a short woman, 1400 cals a day for weight loss isn't much to work with. So I feel your pain! What I want to eat, and what I should eat (calorie wise) are usually two different things! I second that 800 cal deficite sounds really high! Maybe she's not hungry right now, but she will be! A day kicked off with a slimfast followed by nothing but refined carbs & sugar sounds like a recipie for hunger induced disaster for me. eek!
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    Hunger and satiety is subjective. What you need, isn't always going to be what you want. But you can do a lot to bring those two closer together. Maybe that's something you can work with? Focus on you, find things you're happy with, how much you need to be content? Totally unsolicited, I know. But comparison is indeed the thief of joy.
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
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    Please don't think the following applies to you...this is just my experience.

    1. I find that I think about food less if I fill my day with a well rounded balanced diet...less highly processed foods...less sweets.
    2. Having my food pre-cooked so that I don't have to think about what I am going to eat.
    3. Pre-logging my day.
    4. I know that some people can stay on track by moderating the "junk" food. I have learned that I can not. I am weak!
    5. I also think that when I spend too much time weighing every little gram that goes in to my mouth I am spending too much time thinking about food.

    I am concentrating now on learning portion control. I weigh very little now unless it is a high calorie food option such as cheese. I am also using meal planning and only order groceries that I need to make the recipes for the week. I stay out of the grocery stores so that I won't be tempted or make excuses to pick up a bag of chips and throw in the cart.

    I want to eventually work my way to not having to have a log...for now though it is helping to make sure that my diet stays in balance nutritionally.

    I know that many might disagree with my methods...tell me I need self-control...etc...etc. That's okay I am not saying that everyone or anyone should approach it this way. Right now for me...this is working. When it stops working I will try something different.

    In essence...the more I think about food the more that I want even when I am not truly hungry...I just think I am.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    I want to lose the 15-20 lbs I've gained back in the last 3 years and struggling so much because I'm always hungry... Meanwhile, my friend (petite, probably 10-15 lbs overweight too), has no problem losing weight while eating a slim fast for breakfast, a donut at lunch, and 3 slices of French toast for dinner - keeping a deficit of 800 calories according to her Fitbit - which would leave me totally starving... and she seems totally fine with it.

    Sorry, it's just a rant really. It's so depressing to always be so hungry.

    I'm not always hungry but I'd be starving with what your friend eats too.
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
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    Franci are you sure that it is true hunger that you are experiencing?

    A little over 25 years ago I was diagnosed by my doctor with PTSD because of a horrific terrifying event in my life. Over time I learned that I could chase away the visions and thoughts by turning to food. Food would keep my brain occupied and my thoughts focused on something else than that event. Over the years food worked for the most part...except when it didn't. As a result I gained over 100lbs. I mostly have those thoughts under control but they still creep back in from time to time. My brain however still wants to turn to food to solve stress, depression, boredom and all those other things such as just having a bad day. I feel at times as if I am constantly battling. Taking control of my life and not letting the past define who I am and what I do is a step in the right direction for me.

    My advice for what it is worth...take an honest look at yourself...try different things to see what works for you...see a doctor for help. Sometimes we just can't figure these things out by ourselves. Maybe re-evaluate your goals...maybe you are asking too much of yourself.

    I wish you well though.
  • JMcGee2018
    JMcGee2018 Posts: 275 Member
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    Your friend probably doesn't eat that every day, and an 800 calorie deficit isn't crazy. People on here are losing 2 pounds a week on a 1000 calorie deficit just fine.

    That said, being hungry is a struggle. I would try playing around with your macros, food volume, and meal timing. IF might be an option for you, or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, many small meals throughout the day. I find that for me, IF helps if I'm on a 16:8 schedule where I don't eat from 7pm-11am. I'll have black or green tea (no sweeteners) in the morning which helps me with my hunger, break my fast with a protein shake at 11, lunch between 12 or 1, and then a large dinner with my fiancé around 6 (because watching him eat 3-4 servings while I can only have 1/2-1 would drive me nuts unless I saved up a good chunk of my calories for that bigger meal).

    Snacking on low-calorie foods throughout the day (cucumbers, carrots, cherry tomatoes, berries) would be another option because you can eat a lot of those foods for few calories. Also, drink plenty of water or other low or no calorie beverages to keep your stomach full.
  • amtyrell
    amtyrell Posts: 1,449 Member
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    Comparison is the thief of joy.

    Forget what you can't eat. Focus on what you can. Try new flavorings and seasonings on what fills you up. For example protein and fiber fill me up. So for lunch I am having a bowl of chicken salad. But what is amazing about it is I toasted the chicken stuffed with meyer lemons and that has infused the chicken.
  • Crafty_camper123
    Crafty_camper123 Posts: 1,440 Member
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    JMcGee2018 wrote: »
    Your friend probably doesn't eat that every day, and an 800 calorie deficit isn't crazy. People on here are losing 2 pounds a week on a 1000 calorie deficit just fine.

    That said, being hungry is a struggle. I would try playing around with your macros, food volume, and meal timing. IF might be an option for you, or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, many small meals throughout the day. I find that for me, IF helps if I'm on a 16:8 schedule where I don't eat from 7pm-11am. I'll have black or green tea (no sweeteners) in the morning which helps me with my hunger, break my fast with a protein shake at 11, lunch between 12 or 1, and then a large dinner with my fiancé around 6 (because watching him eat 3-4 servings while I can only have 1/2-1 would drive me nuts unless I saved up a good chunk of my calories for that bigger meal).

    Snacking on low-calorie foods throughout the day (cucumbers, carrots, cherry tomatoes, berries) would be another option because you can eat a lot of those foods for few calories. Also, drink plenty of water or other low or no calorie beverages to keep your stomach full.

    If she's petite, it is a lot. For example, I'm 5'3 and have a desk job. My TDEE is somewhere around 1600. If I cut 800 a day I would be left with 1000 a day to eat with. 1000 would leave me just 600 to eat. Hitting 1000 every so often probably wont kill me, but is unhealthy and unsustainable to do daily. That being said we have no idea what OP's friend is really doing every day. But It was mentioned that she was petite. I think this is where everyone was going when they say it's unhealthy.

    I agree with everything else though. I have been practicing 16:8 for a few months now. Not to say I do it daily, but at least 5 days a week. (I like my breakfast sammaches). It has really helped me have a better perspective on my hunger cues. I learned I can be hungry for quite a while, and I'm not gonna die. lol. It bothers me a lot less.
    If I skip breakfast, then eat a moderate lunch, I don't come home ravenous from work at the end of the day like I used to eating a small breakfast and small lunch every day.

    Also, volume eating may be where it's at for you, OP. you can have a HUGE salad, or a ton of veggies for a small amount of calories. And you can get that satisfied full feeling. Expiriment and see what works for you.

  • Crafty_camper123
    Crafty_camper123 Posts: 1,440 Member
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    I just remembered something. I'm not sure what you're calorie goal is every day, but you might try playing around with it. Example: 1200 calories a day & no exercise is hard for me to stick to most days. I get very hungry. But 1400-1600 cals a day with some exercise leaves me much more satisfied. Plus allowing myself to eat up to maintenance if there is something I am craving, or just hungry is really freeing. Sometimes it's just a maintenance day, sometimes it turns into a maintenance month, lol. But it seems to be working so far. My weight might not fall off as fast as I would like, but I'm okay with that. My sanity is more important then how fast the weight comes off. And when you don't have a whole lot to lose ,it comes of sssllllooooowwww. I just keep moving forward with it & know I'll get there eventually. Another thing to look at, is how much time have you given yourself to lose the weight?? While 20 lbs lost in 10 weeks (-2lbs a week) sounds good, it may be a little harder to get there and stay there. But a span of 40-50(.5lb a week) weeks winds up giving you much more flexibility. And, when you finally get there, I feel like It would be easier to stay there and switch to maintenance. You'll get this figured out. ((hugs))
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
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    Definitely do not do the small meal plan as it is likely to exacerbate the situation. Each time you eat your body releases insulin into your blood stream and insulin is one of the hormones responsible for feeling hungry. The 16-8 suggested above or the 18-6 that I do occasionally will probably teach you what you need to know about controlling your hunger. The main problem with the 18-6 is that if I am eating healthy it is a struggle to get to my calorie allowance. I do my best to get most of my calories in at lunch and then it is usually a snack for dinner because I am not hungry. This is not an immediate change though it can take days to get accustomed to it. But once I did it a few times I have conditioned myself to eat very little dinner which means I don't have to take Acid Reflux medicine. You might be different and have your biggest meal at night.

    I know it seems backwards that the more often you eat the hungrier you will be but some people have a lower tolerance to insulin.

    I have hyperinsulinemia, a condition that is not easy to catch, so my body releases more insulin than it should. It also means that I can be much hungrier than the average person. This last Saturday I had half a bagel around 8am and by 11 I was ready to gnaw on the counters. I was so hungry and my blood sugar bottomed out to the point I was shaking. It reminded me once again why I can't do that.

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