Dinner party at Home or Restaurant if you are a visitor

madwells1
madwells1 Posts: 510 Member
in Recipes
I would like to know some opinions on how people feel.

Backstory:
I live in the US. I have family coming in from Chicago as well as friends coming in from the Netherlands. We all know each other, and have spent a lot of time together at all of our houses with family in the past, as well as internationally (i.e., Paris, etc). This will be the first visit between my family members and my friends since last September (although I have seen everyone between then either in the US or the Netherlands).

Assume that as a visitor, you like all types of food, and the company involved. Also assume that your host (me) can cook.

As a visitor, would you prefer to go out to a restaurant or stay in and have a dinner party?

There are plenty of restaurants around, but I was thinking of doing something a little different---I was thinking about having a french bistro themed evening, where the majority of stuff I make can be done ahead with the exception of about an hour of cooking.

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Replies

  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    Depends. Is this a single night visit? Then going out. I'd prefer the time spent with my friend catching up, enjoying company etc rather than them worried about cooking, cleaning, etc. It is really disappointing when I go a long way to spend time with someone and they're simply too busy to enjoy company.

    I host stuff a lot at home for large groups and find I rarely get to participate in the events I created simply because I take it upon myself to ensure the evening is terrific, food is cooked, counters cleaned, glasses refilled, etc. I enjoy it, but I know if its people I rarely see, I'd much rather have all that taken care of for me so I can participate.
  • acpgee
    acpgee Posts: 7,868 Member
    If you can host dinner without getting stressed or isolated in the kitchen, that would be my preferance. Sounds like you have that under control.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    edited April 2018
    Depends on how many people we are talking about here. If it is a large group I don't want to sit in a restaurant stuck at one place at the table for 2 hours when I want to talk to other people and I don't want you trying to cook a sit-down dinner for a large group either.

    For a large group I really just want finger foods so I can mingle. Think of the things you can fix in advance and serve cold like the crudité and cheese platters and some sort of pinwheel deal. Sauces and dips can be made in advance too. Meatballs actually do pretty decent being kept warm. Homemade potato chips warm back up in the oven really well There is plenty of room to work in some international flavors to finger foods too.
  • madwells1
    madwells1 Posts: 510 Member
    Thanks everyone!

    I am leaning to hosting it in house. Has anyone every made coq au vin blanc? I was thinking that I may be able to pull this off as an easy main course and have everything done before hand so I don't have to be in the kitchen other than to open more wine.

    Do you think this dish is too heavy for the spring?
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    It is certainly more of a late fall/winter dish. It is not technically a stew but has many stew-like qualities to it.
  • thatdesertgirl777
    thatdesertgirl777 Posts: 269 Member
    DanaDark wrote: »
    Depends. Is this a single night visit? Then going out. I'd prefer the time spent with my friend catching up, enjoying company etc rather than them worried about cooking, cleaning, etc. It is really disappointing when I go a long way to spend time with someone and they're simply too busy to enjoy company.

    I host stuff a lot at home for large groups and find I rarely get to participate in the events I created simply because I take it upon myself to ensure the evening is terrific, food is cooked, counters cleaned, glasses refilled, etc. I enjoy it, but I know if its people I rarely see, I'd much rather have all that taken care of for me so I can participate.

    This is so true for me too.
  • Gisel2015
    Gisel2015 Posts: 4,164 Member
    madwells1 wrote: »
    I would like to know some opinions on how people feel.

    Backstory:
    I live in the US. I have family coming in from Chicago as well as friends coming in from the Netherlands. We all know each other, and have spent a lot of time together at all of our houses with family in the past, as well as internationally (i.e., Paris, etc). This will be the first visit between my family members and my friends since last September (although I have seen everyone between then either in the US or the Netherlands).

    Assume that as a visitor, you like all types of food, and the company involved. Also assume that your host (me) can cook.

    As a visitor, would you prefer to go out to a restaurant or stay in and have a dinner party?

    There are plenty of restaurants around, but I was thinking of doing something a little different---I was thinking about having a french bistro themed evening, where the majority of stuff I make can be done ahead with the exception of about an hour of cooking.

    Going out so you can enjoy the company instead of slaving over a hot stove and the kitchen sink. You can bring everybody back to your house for desert, coffee, after dinner drinks, or a glass of champagne with strawberries. You can set a nice table with flowers, pretty desert dishes and lots of candles for everybody to enjoy and relax.

    But that is my opinion because I don't like to cook, specially for big parties, and because when I do, I don't get to chat and enjoy the company.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    If I wanted to do a French bistro thing for guests, I'd spring for a table at La Madeleine. It's here, and I do not compete.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    edited April 2018
    This might be tacky, but I'd consider budget and if some guests would be inclined to pay for themselves and/or awkwardness that could occur. Some time ago, I offered to treat six girlfriends to a new restaurant and it wasn't terribly expensive but they all insisted on paying me back and were essentially throwing bills at me like I was the entertainment...so uncomfortable! I wouldn't have offered to take them out if I didn't intend to treat.

    As a guest...if it was very clear that either everyone was paying for their own meal separately OR the entire check was being paid by the host, I think I would prefer going out.

    Dinner party at home sounds excellent too, but as others have mentioned, it can be tricky to handle all the details and still be truly present in the moment with your guests.
  • sofchak
    sofchak Posts: 862 Member
    I had the same thought as @deannalfisher - can you bring someone in to cater for the event at your home? I think that would be lovely... best of both worlds - casual home atmosphere without the burden of the kitchen duties 100% of the time.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Cons of restaurant is cost (who will pay?) and yeah, you're stuck sitting next to the same people all night, people at the extremities can't interact as much etc.

    I'd do it at home too but make it as easy as possible for you - paper plates/utensils, food that's easy to cook ahead and can be served in a crockpot or something to keep warm... lots of appetizers/dishes that you can just leave out. Make ahead desserts as well (or just buy those).

    I get so stressed out when we have guests over, thankfully they are pretty good about helping clean up - but it's easier when you want to catch up.
  • missysippy930
    missysippy930 Posts: 2,577 Member
    Home.
    Just personal preference. Everyone knows each other, so much more relaxed atmosphere. Plus it isn't really a long time in between visits, just more comfortable I would think. Surely everyone will pitch in to help out?
    Enjoy!
  • acpgee
    acpgee Posts: 7,868 Member
    I make coq au vin blanc quite a lot. Easy choice for a big crowd. You could even make the night before and reheat as it is a very forgiving recipe. Usually served with buttered tagliatelle but you might want to rethink that if you don’t have big enough cooking vessels to do a large amount of last minute pasta. Rice or just baguette would be less stress for a big crowd. I would combine this with a make ahead salad to start. Staying with the French theme a green bean and new potato salad with anchovy and homemade aioli is yummy but no worse for wear hanging around a few hours. If guests ask if they can bring something, a variety of store bought cakes could be dessert.
  • acpgee
    acpgee Posts: 7,868 Member
    A couple more make ahead salad ideas in case you want to push the boat out and have three big salads on the table as a starter.

    Blanched green beans, new potatoes, anchovy, mint, alioli.
    Watermelon, feta, mint, olive oil.
    Asian slaw (grated carrots, fennel, shredded cabbage in a sesame vinaigrette)
    Broccoli salad (google NYT broccoli crack)
    Roast vegetables, boiled lentil, chopped black olive in a sweet vinaigrette (google NYT roast vegetable and lentil salad—they use bacon for the salty kick)
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,464 Member
    Personal opinion. If these people have been friends forever, they want your friendship, not your impressive food.
    Easy stuff, paper plates, etc. if you really like to cook, something in the oven, salad, sides and dessert made ahead.
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
    @madwells1 My preference would be at home. But that's just what I'm used to when I go overseas to friends, or I have friends come to stay with me. A few families together for a lovely meal and a good time in the house.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I'd prefer the at home dinner.
    I would be happy with simple food and spending time with people.
    As a traveler, I would probably be more interested in trying regional or family favorites rather than a fancy menu that the host has never made before.

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