Dinner party at Home or Restaurant if you are a visitor
I would like to know some opinions on how people feel.
Backstory:
I live in the US. I have family coming in from Chicago as well as friends coming in from the Netherlands. We all know each other, and have spent a lot of time together at all of our houses with family in the past, as well as internationally (i.e., Paris, etc). This will be the first visit between my family members and my friends since last September (although I have seen everyone between then either in the US or the Netherlands).
Assume that as a visitor, you like all types of food, and the company involved. Also assume that your host (me) can cook.
As a visitor, would you prefer to go out to a restaurant or stay in and have a dinner party?
There are plenty of restaurants around, but I was thinking of doing something a little different---I was thinking about having a french bistro themed evening, where the majority of stuff I make can be done ahead with the exception of about an hour of cooking.
Backstory:
I live in the US. I have family coming in from Chicago as well as friends coming in from the Netherlands. We all know each other, and have spent a lot of time together at all of our houses with family in the past, as well as internationally (i.e., Paris, etc). This will be the first visit between my family members and my friends since last September (although I have seen everyone between then either in the US or the Netherlands).
Assume that as a visitor, you like all types of food, and the company involved. Also assume that your host (me) can cook.
As a visitor, would you prefer to go out to a restaurant or stay in and have a dinner party?
There are plenty of restaurants around, but I was thinking of doing something a little different---I was thinking about having a french bistro themed evening, where the majority of stuff I make can be done ahead with the exception of about an hour of cooking.
2
Replies
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An evening at home because the environment is more conducive to conversation with multiple people. At a restaurant you have conversations mainly with those seated around you, but may miss talking with your aunt at the opposite end of the table.7
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Depends. Is this a single night visit? Then going out. I'd prefer the time spent with my friend catching up, enjoying company etc rather than them worried about cooking, cleaning, etc. It is really disappointing when I go a long way to spend time with someone and they're simply too busy to enjoy company.
I host stuff a lot at home for large groups and find I rarely get to participate in the events I created simply because I take it upon myself to ensure the evening is terrific, food is cooked, counters cleaned, glasses refilled, etc. I enjoy it, but I know if its people I rarely see, I'd much rather have all that taken care of for me so I can participate.4 -
If you can host dinner without getting stressed or isolated in the kitchen, that would be my preferance. Sounds like you have that under control.4
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Depends on how many people we are talking about here. If it is a large group I don't want to sit in a restaurant stuck at one place at the table for 2 hours when I want to talk to other people and I don't want you trying to cook a sit-down dinner for a large group either.
For a large group I really just want finger foods so I can mingle. Think of the things you can fix in advance and serve cold like the crudité and cheese platters and some sort of pinwheel deal. Sauces and dips can be made in advance too. Meatballs actually do pretty decent being kept warm. Homemade potato chips warm back up in the oven really well There is plenty of room to work in some international flavors to finger foods too.1 -
Thanks everyone!
I am leaning to hosting it in house. Has anyone every made coq au vin blanc? I was thinking that I may be able to pull this off as an easy main course and have everything done before hand so I don't have to be in the kitchen other than to open more wine.
Do you think this dish is too heavy for the spring?1 -
It is certainly more of a late fall/winter dish. It is not technically a stew but has many stew-like qualities to it.0
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Depends. Is this a single night visit? Then going out. I'd prefer the time spent with my friend catching up, enjoying company etc rather than them worried about cooking, cleaning, etc. It is really disappointing when I go a long way to spend time with someone and they're simply too busy to enjoy company.
I host stuff a lot at home for large groups and find I rarely get to participate in the events I created simply because I take it upon myself to ensure the evening is terrific, food is cooked, counters cleaned, glasses refilled, etc. I enjoy it, but I know if its people I rarely see, I'd much rather have all that taken care of for me so I can participate.
This is so true for me too.0 -
I would like to know some opinions on how people feel.
Backstory:
I live in the US. I have family coming in from Chicago as well as friends coming in from the Netherlands. We all know each other, and have spent a lot of time together at all of our houses with family in the past, as well as internationally (i.e., Paris, etc). This will be the first visit between my family members and my friends since last September (although I have seen everyone between then either in the US or the Netherlands).
Assume that as a visitor, you like all types of food, and the company involved. Also assume that your host (me) can cook.
As a visitor, would you prefer to go out to a restaurant or stay in and have a dinner party?
There are plenty of restaurants around, but I was thinking of doing something a little different---I was thinking about having a french bistro themed evening, where the majority of stuff I make can be done ahead with the exception of about an hour of cooking.
Going out so you can enjoy the company instead of slaving over a hot stove and the kitchen sink. You can bring everybody back to your house for desert, coffee, after dinner drinks, or a glass of champagne with strawberries. You can set a nice table with flowers, pretty desert dishes and lots of candles for everybody to enjoy and relax.
But that is my opinion because I don't like to cook, specially for big parties, and because when I do, I don't get to chat and enjoy the company.1 -
If I wanted to do a French bistro thing for guests, I'd spring for a table at La Madeleine. It's here, and I do not compete.2
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This might be tacky, but I'd consider budget and if some guests would be inclined to pay for themselves and/or awkwardness that could occur. Some time ago, I offered to treat six girlfriends to a new restaurant and it wasn't terribly expensive but they all insisted on paying me back and were essentially throwing bills at me like I was the entertainment...so uncomfortable! I wouldn't have offered to take them out if I didn't intend to treat.
As a guest...if it was very clear that either everyone was paying for their own meal separately OR the entire check was being paid by the host, I think I would prefer going out.
Dinner party at home sounds excellent too, but as others have mentioned, it can be tricky to handle all the details and still be truly present in the moment with your guests.0 -
Could you split the different - find a place that caters and will come to your house - so you have the home atmosphere without dealing with cooking/cleaning7
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I had the same thought as @deannalfisher - can you bring someone in to cater for the event at your home? I think that would be lovely... best of both worlds - casual home atmosphere without the burden of the kitchen duties 100% of the time.1
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Cons of restaurant is cost (who will pay?) and yeah, you're stuck sitting next to the same people all night, people at the extremities can't interact as much etc.
I'd do it at home too but make it as easy as possible for you - paper plates/utensils, food that's easy to cook ahead and can be served in a crockpot or something to keep warm... lots of appetizers/dishes that you can just leave out. Make ahead desserts as well (or just buy those).
I get so stressed out when we have guests over, thankfully they are pretty good about helping clean up - but it's easier when you want to catch up.0 -
Home.
Just personal preference. Everyone knows each other, so much more relaxed atmosphere. Plus it isn't really a long time in between visits, just more comfortable I would think. Surely everyone will pitch in to help out?
Enjoy!0 -
I make coq au vin blanc quite a lot. Easy choice for a big crowd. You could even make the night before and reheat as it is a very forgiving recipe. Usually served with buttered tagliatelle but you might want to rethink that if you don’t have big enough cooking vessels to do a large amount of last minute pasta. Rice or just baguette would be less stress for a big crowd. I would combine this with a make ahead salad to start. Staying with the French theme a green bean and new potato salad with anchovy and homemade aioli is yummy but no worse for wear hanging around a few hours. If guests ask if they can bring something, a variety of store bought cakes could be dessert.2
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A couple more make ahead salad ideas in case you want to push the boat out and have three big salads on the table as a starter.
Blanched green beans, new potatoes, anchovy, mint, alioli.
Watermelon, feta, mint, olive oil.
Asian slaw (grated carrots, fennel, shredded cabbage in a sesame vinaigrette)
Broccoli salad (google NYT broccoli crack)
Roast vegetables, boiled lentil, chopped black olive in a sweet vinaigrette (google NYT roast vegetable and lentil salad—they use bacon for the salty kick)2 -
Personal opinion. If these people have been friends forever, they want your friendship, not your impressive food.
Easy stuff, paper plates, etc. if you really like to cook, something in the oven, salad, sides and dessert made ahead.3 -
@madwells1 My preference would be at home. But that's just what I'm used to when I go overseas to friends, or I have friends come to stay with me. A few families together for a lovely meal and a good time in the house.1
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A couple more make ahead salad ideas in case you want to push the boat out and have three big salads on the table as a starter.
Blanched green beans, new potatoes, anchovy, mint, alioli.
Watermelon, feta, mint, olive oil.
Asian slaw (grated carrots, fennel, shredded cabbage in a sesame vinaigrette)
Broccoli salad (google NYT broccoli crack)
Roast vegetables, boiled lentil, chopped black olive in a sweet vinaigrette (google NYT roast vegetable and lentil salad—they use bacon for the salty kick)
After your posts in this thread, I want to come to your dinner parties
5 -
I'd prefer the at home dinner.
I would be happy with simple food and spending time with people.
As a traveler, I would probably be more interested in trying regional or family favorites rather than a fancy menu that the host has never made before.1 -
Wow! You guys are great!!!
After hearing all this feedback, I think for the one night we are all together, we will stay in.
On the nights when the visitors don't overlap (I have one night alone with some guests and one night alone with the others), I will take them to to a comfortable restaurant. This will probably be helpful on those nights because all of my guests are a little frugal, and they won't feel overwhelmed about the check as larger dinner parties (at least in my experience) get out of control with the wine and food. Although I expect to pick up the check because they are my guests, I don't like expecting people to pay just in case they can't.
Now for the menu!! I like to cook, but as many of you said, don't want to be in the kitchen all night. Let me know your thoughts so far on this as I am still thinking it through
So far I am thinking the following:
First- drinks
- crackers
- olives
- nuts
Second- Wine
- Homemade country pate
- Charcuterie plate with various meats and gherkins
- Bread from the local french bakery
- Cheeses (all my guests like cheese before the meal instead of after)
Third (I think the salad before our meal is better for my guests instead of after)- More wine
- Endive, pear and walnut salad with a light vinegrette
Fourth - Plat Principal
This is where I am struggling a bit. I would have like to have done a braised dish because I can do it the day before, but I don't want it too heavy. I also don't want to be in the kitchen making fish. That's why I was thinking a lighter version of a coq au vin. I could do a quiche or an onion and leek tart here instead, but I don't want people hungry.
What do you guys think about this course?
Fifth- More wine
- Cheeses
- Ganache and rasberry tart from the local french bakery
- Espresso, coffee, etc
- Fresh fruit
Is that enough food? I assume throughout we will be chatting and once the wine kicks in, start on silly games like celebrity or something.
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That’s plenty of food. I am aware of the frugality of the Dutch being married to one. They will want to pay their own way in restaurants and probably your share too after the party.
Smart to rely on a lot of store bought stuff like cheese and charcuterie. Salad sounds fiddly to me though. Will you prepare individual plates in the kitchen or serve from a large tossed bowl at the table? Raw pears peeled and cut in advance can look a little sad, even if sprinkled with lemon juice. I would either cook hard pears in a compote a day ahead or replace with halved seedless grapes which can sit around for hours.
I vote for a quiche or savoury tart for main. No need to provide a starchy side which introduces logistical problems.
If you want to introduce another easy show off element serve warm homemade biscuits with the nuts and olives. Just use Bisquick, prepare trays in advance and pop into the oven as guests arrive. How many will you be?
If your guests insist on bringing things besides flowers or wine you could ask for the olives, nuts and bakery desserts.
Don’t underestimate time away from the table just getting things onto serving platters. Don’t be shy about dragging a guest or two into the kitchen with you for company if your kitchen/dining is not open plan. This will encourage people to get up between courses and mingle.2 -
If you want to show off your cooking skills you could do homemade pickles with your cheese and charcuterie course. Slice cucumbers, radishes and carrots separately in the food processor. Google homemade pickle recipes for brines (water, vinegar, sugar and salt). Use different brines for different veg. Add cumin to carrots, chilli to radish and make the cucumber a little sweeter than the others. Can be done several days in advance though the pickles get stronger the longer they sit in brine so you might want to pick a watered down brine.4
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Sounds like enough to feed an army. Are you expecting an army? Lol.
I vote for the coq as vin, just because all other courses include crackers, bread, crust. Make this course a little different.1 -
corinasue1143 wrote: »Sounds like enough to feed an army. Are you expecting an army? Lol.
I vote for the coq as vin, just because all other courses include crackers, bread, crust. Make this course a little different.
I do agree that if your main is a quiche, dinner does turn into an elaborate picnic menu.
I use your trick charcuterie, olives and cheese for stretching a no stress dinner party a lot, though my go to mains are a few Spanish tapas standards. Tortilla can be made in the morning and served at room temperature, as well as Portuguese marinated carrots. The dishes which require last minute attention are pimientos padron and gambas ajillo but both only involve a quick fry in a large wok. And if you do the padron peppers first you don’t even need to clean the wok before doing the prawns. I don’t serve in any particular order but like to get the dishes which require actual cooking out of the way early, so as not to interfere with wine consumption.0 -
I've made Coq au vin - it's straightforward (though a little time consuming) and you can definitely make it a day ahead, then finish it in the oven. Hosting people at your home seems like a lovely idea.0
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After going to the market, I have decided on the following menu:
Charcuterie
Crostini & assorted crackers
Gherkins
Olives
Cherry tomatoes
Pate
Mimolette, gouda, brie
Proscuitto, peppered sausage, summer venison sausage
Salad
Mixed greens with blue cheese & pear with a french vinagrette
Main
Coq au vin blanc with spring vegetables
New roasted potatoes with thyme and parsley
French bread
Dessert
Fresh fruit
Chocolate rasberry tart
Coffee/espresso
I have gotten pretty lucky as it is going to be very chilly here, so I am going with the coq au vin because I can make it the day ahead. That will be the only thing I actually spend any time on, so hopefully I will be good.
I'm excited, wish me luck!!1 -
If you are making it the day before I would definitely stick with an all dark meat chicken version of the recipe and good luck. I am sure it will be a success!0
-
After going to the market, I have decided on the following menu:
Charcuterie
Crostini & assorted crackers
Gherkins
Olives
Cherry tomatoes
Pate
Mimolette, gouda, brie
Proscuitto, peppered sausage, summer venison sausage
Salad
Mixed greens with blue cheese & pear with a french vinagrette
Main
Coq au vin blanc with spring vegetables
New roasted potatoes with thyme and parsley
French bread
Dessert
Fresh fruit
Chocolate rasberry tart
Coffee/espresso
I have gotten pretty lucky as it is going to be very chilly here, so I am going with the coq au vin because I can make it the day ahead. That will be the only thing I actually spend any time on, so hopefully I will be good.
I'm excited, wish me luck!!
What time is dinner???
i'll join you!1 -
Come on over! Just bring more wine!!1
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