Dang, MFP fam... do you ever just want to throw in the towel!?

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Dang, MFP Fam...

Do you ever just wake up and think a league of negative thoughts?

Unfortunately, I am generally insecure. It's something I'm working on, though, practically speaking, I'm not sure how one "works on it." However, that doesn't mean I always wrestle these negative thoughts. That war isn't constant, but when it comes it's quite demotivating.

I want to be happy for other's successes, but I notice it typically comes from comparing to another. Candidly, it's when I see a super fit, way hotter, way thinner/toned woman! While I wish I could high five them and say, "Way to be hot!" I tend to be threatened by them and then lay in a bed of self loathing.

Today I woke up straight up feeling both fat and ugly.

Since December 27th, I've stuck to my goal of running at least 4 times a week. Honestly, it did turn into just working out 4 times a week, but it's almost always in the form of running. I use Nike Run Club's app to mix it up with recovery runs, long runs, and speed runs. I generally run an average of 3 miles each time at around a 10 minute mile pace (but my pace is improving!). I've more recently thrown in a few other forms of exercise but they're generally all cardio related.

I used to lift a lot but found that while I was getting stronger, there wasn't too much of a noticeable difference since the results were buried under fat. I've never been good at strength and cardio training at the same time... I'm clearly on the other side of the pendulum now.

I know nutrition is most of the issue and I did start losing a very few pounds when I started keeping a closer look at my calories, but the results are not very motivating. It's been nearly 4 months now and I've only lost and held off about 3 pounds! (Currently at 156 and at 5'5" - don't refer to my one full-body picture as that is my goal... I'm about 20 lbs off of that).

The lack of result and the negative thoughts make me want to give up running altogether! I know it's great for my health. Because of genes and sodium intake, I have borderline high blood pressure, so the running is great for that especially.

Replies

  • KeepRunningFatboy
    KeepRunningFatboy Posts: 3,055 Member
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    It took a focus on both diet and running before the weight loss really began for me. I originally lost some weight with just exercise, but I found myself mistakenly thinking because I was running, I could continue to eat more than I needed. I was overestimating calories out and underestimating calories in.

    The thought process- quite a few good books on working to change your thoughts. But it takes work. It’s not going to happen automatically. Capture those ANTs - automatic negative thoughts, intercept and replace with truth. Use the higher self, the more evolved part of the brain, to replace more basic and instinctual thoughts. Practice positive self talk and affirmations.
  • dramaqueen45
    dramaqueen45 Posts: 1,009 Member
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    I agree with KeepRunning - you have to count every calorie, every bite and stay within your calorie goal in order to lose weight. Too much cardio can make you overly hungry and lead to overeating as well. Invest in a heart rate monitor so you can get accurate readings on calories out and enter those into MFP. Stay within your calorie limits for the day and it will come off (even if it's only a half a pound a week). You lose weight in the kitchen. Exercise to feel better and for heart health.

    I also agree that it takes work to change the negative, automatic thoughts. It takes practice to recognize those thoughts and replace them with positive self talk, positive feedback and challenge your negative thinking. You can do this!
  • Biker_SuzCO
    Biker_SuzCO Posts: 54 Member
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    It took me over a year of running combined with diet to drop 20 pounds. It was hard. I was hungry a lot. Keep at it and the weight will come off eventually. Even when I had only lost 5 pounds people noticed because running does change your body for the better!
  • swagoner94
    swagoner94 Posts: 220 Member
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    Thanks everyone. Does anyone have thoughts on weight/strength training??? I just recently decided I would try adding this to the mix. I don't want to stop cardio because that's some solid calorie burn and it's great for the heart, but I thought maybe by adding some muscle definition, I could increase by BMR and assist the weight loss process that way.. thoughts?
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,565 Member
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    You won't gain much, if any, muscle in a calorie deficit, but it is an excellent idea to help you retain as much muscle as possible while you lose. https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10332083/which-lifting-program-is-the-best-for-you
  • jazzadesigns
    jazzadesigns Posts: 476 Member
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    Just wanted to add that you are not fat and ugly! You are beautiful and are already under my goal weight!
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,900 Member
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    Where did the ugly come from??? You are a beauty! It is your duty to take care of your beauty...health and happiness!
    What a gift that you "can" run...so many cannot! Use that body you have been given and take care of it to the very extent that you can!
  • ReneeKatz
    ReneeKatz Posts: 7 Member
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    No, 'cause I know someone IRL who has lost a significant amount of weight with this site. You just have to stick to it. It's a lifetime thing, not a 'diet'.

    I've never really counted calories because I've always been active, but I have steadily been gaining since I got into my late 20's/early 30's so I wanted to get some idea of how much I eat daily.
  • deannalfisher
    deannalfisher Posts: 5,600 Member
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    you might consider seeking out some professional advice on body image/thoughts - if nothing else, it can help you potentially develop some coping techniques
  • swagoner94
    swagoner94 Posts: 220 Member
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    dsboohead wrote: »
    Where did the ugly come from??? You are a beauty! It is your duty to take care of your beauty...health and happiness!
    What a gift that you "can" run...so many cannot! Use that body you have been given and take care of it to the very extent that you can!
    Just wanted to add that you are not fat and ugly! You are beautiful and are already under my goal weight!

    Thank you, you beautiful sweet people <3
  • tirowow12385
    tirowow12385 Posts: 698 Member
    edited May 2018
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    Be optimistic and look at the positive. On your quest for improvement, there's always something new to be positive about whatever it maybe.
  • garystrickland357
    garystrickland357 Posts: 598 Member
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    As they say, the struggle is real. My doctor (who is an ironman competitor) says none of us should use exercise as a means of weight loss. He and I are long time friends and we have both struggled with weight gain and loss. We have slowly learned that we exercise for fitness and the benefits that fitness brings - both mental and physical. We control our waistline with a fork...

    It has taken me a long time to truly "get it." If you want to lose weight you'll have to do more than "keep a closer look at your calories" - particularly since you're not happy with the result. Don't throw in the towel - realize exercise isn't the cure for the weight issue.

    As far as the negative thoughts - we all have them from time to time. For you, figure out where that little small voice comes from that keeps telling you that you aren't good enough. From your picture you seem young and beautiful. Don't look at social media or other people's lives and think is all sunshine and roses - it's not. You are special - believe it. Readjust your understanding of weight management and move forward.
  • groovingroomer
    groovingroomer Posts: 44 Member
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    I agree with KeepRunning - you have to count every calorie, every bite and stay within your calorie goal in order to lose weight. Too much cardio can make you overly hungry and lead to overeating as well. Invest in a heart rate monitor so you can get accurate readings on calories out and enter those into MFP. Stay within your calorie limits for the day and it will come off (even if it's only a half a pound a week). You lose weight in the kitchen. Exercise to feel better and for heart health.

    I also agree that it takes work to change the negative, automatic thoughts. It takes practice to recognize those thoughts and replace them with positive self talk, positive feedback and challenge your negative thinking. You can do this!

    Love this! "you lose weight in the kitchen" very sound logic that hits home for me!

    Your weight loss journey sounds like my own,,, lots of exercise, little results scale wise. But I am feeling strong, and clothes are fitting better, even though the pesky scale wont move more than 3 or 4 lbs up and down.. in over 7 weeks of workout and logging everything I eat.

    Check out hasfit.com free workouts and common sense eating advice!! Love them!!

    Another good quote above "exercise is to feel better and for heart health!" Love this also... the exercise your doing should be hopefully helping your state of mind to feel better with the endorphins. Keep it up!! You look great!


  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    If you can fog a mirror. You ain't done yet.
  • mandiegold941
    mandiegold941 Posts: 67 Member
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    I totally understand you. I feel like having such a cheat day, but I know that only hurts my long term goals. What do you do when you just feel like eating everything?!
  • TynaBaby17
    TynaBaby17 Posts: 56 Member
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    swagoner94 wrote: »
    Thanks everyone. Does anyone have thoughts on weight/strength training??? I just recently decided I would try adding this to the mix. I don't want to stop cardio because that's some solid calorie burn and it's great for the heart, but I thought maybe by adding some muscle definition, I could increase by BMR and assist the weight loss process that way.. thoughts?

    I have just started incorporating some strength training into my weight loss.
    I was just running as well, but I found these HIIT workout videos, and they are really easy and well made with lots of modifications if you have bad knees or a beginner too! and best of all you can do them all at home! So no awkward gym time, which for me is what kept me from strength training.
    There's tons of videos out there for beginner lifting and strength training!

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXIJ2-RSIGn53HA-x9RDevA
  • bikecheryl
    bikecheryl Posts: 1,432 Member
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    "Dang, MFP Fam...

    Do you ever just wake up and think a league of negative thoughts?"


    Honestly? NO. And I've been at it for over a year.

    I've always believed 100% in the process (CICO) .... I still do. I think that steadfast belief is what makes it work for me.