So sad. Need help. Any kind of help

yirara
yirara Posts: 9,984 Member
edited November 26 in Health and Weight Loss
Guys, I'm super sad at the moment. All the hard work, and currently I'm throwing it all away. It's so easy: just eat less, log, and the weight will come off.

I lost weight successfully 2014. Kept it off until sometime last year when I fell into a depression (my husband left me and my mom died of cancer among other things). I wanted to get rid of this extra weight again just to leave this terrible time behind me. It worked.

Now something changed and I can't stop eating. I have one or several medical issues but it's uncertain what they are. I know eating salt helps against feeling miserable and these terrible munchies that comes with it. But a second problem with this is that my brains go absent. Thus I can't even remember to have some salt and get over feeling so miserable. Once I do I've overeaten already and sit around with an aching stomach.

So basically I'm back at my depression weight now. I'm so sad for being reminded of that time again. So annoyed that I can't be healthy and don't even have energy to work out. I can't run which always helped against depression due to problems with my bunions either. And if I don't stop now I'll just continue gaining weight. I sit on the couch every evening with a hurting stomach and can't lay in bed comfortably. My GP just did a blood test, which apparently was normal (morning cortisol, potassium and sodium). And basically I think I just want to cry.

Help!

edit: I'm not depressed. But I feel very low on energy, confused and hungry for such extended periods of time, especially in the first half of the day that it's difficult to focus on anything.
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Replies

  • L1zardQueen
    L1zardQueen Posts: 8,753 Member
    Are you getting help from your doctor? There are meds that help with depression. Sorry you are feeling so sad. <hugs>
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,984 Member
    JaydedMiss wrote: »
    Be kind to yourself. Take a week and just focus on eating nutrient dense healthy foods. Fuel your body give it what it needs. At the end of the week ill bet youll feel good enough to make another small change. Rinse and repeat. Focus on self kindness not self hate and everything else will follow

    Well, this has been ongoing for over a month now. I've been trying to get it under control, and to just be kind to myself. It's just not working. I've lost control somehow. Then over the weekend I made the mistake of cooking something high in protein that I've been eating over the past four days. Protein doesn't keep me very full. I should have avoided it. So everything got even worse. But I'll be back to much more carbs now. So hopefully that will help.
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,984 Member
    L1zardQueen wrote: »
    Are you getting help from your doctor? There are meds that help with depression. Sorry you are feeling so sad. <hugs>

    Antidepressents won't solve this problem. I'm sad, not depressed. Actually, considering the options my GP mentioned as potential reason for my health problems, antidepressants might be contraindicated. And I need as much of a clear head as possible to be able to work and not also lose my job.
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,984 Member
    kq1981 wrote: »
    I really think you should see someone. Ive been where you are and its really ok to ask for help. Be kind to yourself, do things that interest you and know that its ok to feel all your emotions. As far as losing weight, go slowly, choose a non aggressive weight loss goal per week to start with to give yourself time to get into it. Take care x

    Thanks a lot love :)
    My goal is at the min anyway as I'm not overweight. It's just the bit of depression weight from last year that I feel I need to lose again. But now I'm in a situation that I will be overweight again if I don't stop eating now. Also eating at maintenance doesn't work. The more I eat early on, the more I've eaten in the course of the day.
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,984 Member
    Note, the health problem I've been going through at the moment has been present for at least 25 years, but for the past 3 months or so it's there nearly every day instead of 2-3 days every few months.
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,984 Member
    middlehaitch wrote: »
    Can you make what you have for breakfast something with a high salt content?
    Getting some in early in the day may help with clarity.
    Maybe a cup of bullion, Bovril, Marmite, or Oxo to sip on as you get ready. Or a couple of boiled eggs with salt.
    V8 with an extra shake of salt.

    If you can plan your day so each meal or snack has extra salt it could help.

    Concentrate on your logging, not how much you are eating. Maybe set yourself to maintenance and call it a win every time you can come a hundred cals or so under.

    Give yourself non calorie treats.

    Can you swim, water jog or aqua fit instead of running, or, if you are up for it- go to the gym and try the rowing machine a go. If you enjoy the competivness of a race the concept2 site has great ways to compete with others.


    Sorry that you are so blue. Wish I could help.

    Cheers, h.

    Actually, that is a good idea with changing my breakfast around. I can do a bouillon at least! I'll pack some buillon blocks for tomorrow. I still need proper crusty bread in the morning as it keeps me full the best (fat and proteins, and lose grains don't offer much satiety)

    Sports: no access to a gym or pool. It's currently all too expensive and too far away. I think British people on benefits have more money than me on a PhD stipend in an expensive city :) But hey, I chose for this and love it! I love bodyweight workouts and think every morning: Can't wait for the evening (I will literally crash into this health problem if I work out in the morning), but by then my tummy hurts too much or I'm still too tired. Oh well.. I think I will work out tonight though as I'm fairly ok today. :blush:
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Every day is a fresh start. If a strategy is not working try something else. I found this resource to be most helpful.

    https://www.bullpub.com/catalog/Living-a-Healthy-Life-with-Chronic-Conditions-4th-Edition
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,984 Member
    jgnatca wrote: »
    Every day is a fresh start. If a strategy is not working try something else. I found this resource to be most helpful.

    https://www.bullpub.com/catalog/Living-a-Healthy-Life-with-Chronic-Conditions-4th-Edition

    thanks a lot :smile: Quite an eye opener to realise that I'm apparently having a chronic condition now. I guess if you feel miserable out of nowhere every few months you just forget about it..
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I am not aspi but I find a lot of comfort to treat personal problems as a logical puzzle to be solved. Takes the debilitating emotions right out of the equation.
  • mywayroche
    mywayroche Posts: 218 Member
    I worry that you're turning to the masses for a second opinion. Please be careful and get plenty of exercise
  • ckrumins
    ckrumins Posts: 2 Member
    There are many issues that could be contributing to this. I would personally see a counsellor as it sounds like you're eating emotionally. Also, it's not normal to have brain fog this much which is also a symptom of depression (I have been there for many years and I had this myself). I would suggest seeing your GP again and a mental health professional. Salt should not help with mental clarity either, too much salt is very bad for your health and can contribute to hypertension. Working out an appropriate meal plan with a dietician and going for short walks every day can help a lot for your mental state and weight loss. Please consider seeing any of these professionals. I am currently studying for my degree in nutrition. Also, low iron intake or anaemia can possibly cause the lethargy and brain fog you are describing. If you get to your GP and describe your symptoms they should be able to help.
  • ckrumins
    ckrumins Posts: 2 Member
    Oh one other thing too. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and your separation. It sounds like you may be grieving as well, which can cause many of the things you are describing. Another reason to seek medical advice.
  • Aegelis
    Aegelis Posts: 237 Member
    edited April 2018
    mywayroche wrote: »
    I worry that you're turning to the masses for a second opinion. Please be careful and get plenty of exercise

    There are many benefits to posting anonymously, especially to a forum of people with similar interests. We are humans here and many of us are trying to help.
  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
    So much great advice here already I just wanted to mention another possible helpful solution to the salt craving. I crave salt all the time, no idea why but I find plain salted popcorn a reasonably low calorie snack that helps. If you like Nori it is also useful, healthy and reasonably low in calories. Hang in there, we're all here for you.
  • New_Heavens_Earth
    New_Heavens_Earth Posts: 610 Member
    Hugs to you. I'm sorry for your loss and your hardship. Its good that you're still trying to stay healthy. I think maybe speaking to someone may be helpful.

    Please, I recommend continue seeing your doctor, to help get back to healthy eating and maybe someone to talk to.
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,984 Member
    edited April 2018
    ckrumins wrote: »
    There are many issues that could be contributing to this. I would personally see a counsellor as it sounds like you're eating emotionally. Also, it's not normal to have brain fog this much which is also a symptom of depression (I have been there for many years and I had this myself). I would suggest seeing your GP again and a mental health professional. Salt should not help with mental clarity either, too much salt is very bad for your health and can contribute to hypertension. Working out an appropriate meal plan with a dietician and going for short walks every day can help a lot for your mental state and weight loss. Please consider seeing any of these professionals. I am currently studying for my degree in nutrition. Also, low iron intake or anaemia can possibly cause the lethargy and brain fog you are describing. If you get to your GP and describe your symptoms they should be able to help.

    Look, I've been suffering from extreme salt hunger on and off since earliest childhood! As a five year old I'd be ina driving parents to desperation mood all day, wait for my parents to go to bed, then sneak down into the kitchen, climb on the lower kitchen cabinets to reach the candy supply in the upper one. To grab a handful of pretzel sticks and chew the salt grains off, and put the pretzels back. And ignore all the other candy that would otherwise be irresistible. Or visit the stables of an uncle just to get to the horses' salt blocks (don't ask). How many small children do that?

    Besides, I finally found peace with all the *kitten* from last year. When I did need a professional back then I could not get one as I was not suicidal.

    Yes, I know iron and vitamins can cause brain fog, as does thyroid. Everything tested so far has been normal (I do ask for printouts). Well, what's consistently been low is albumin (finally need investigation), and all electrolytes apart from sodium. All vitamins and iron are fine. They would not be if I didn't take care of them though. Yes, I also randomly pee out a lot of fluids and electrolytes every few weeks, which mostly results in cramps, pins and needles, a very low blood pressure, feeling extremely thirsty, and sometimes shortness of breath. But this never happens together with the weakness, brainfog and munchies. I'm trying to get tests for aldosterone, renin and a few other things that control fluid levels, but no success yet.
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,984 Member
    Aegelis wrote: »
    mywayroche wrote: »
    I worry that you're turning to the masses for a second opinion. Please be careful and get plenty of exercise

    There are many benefits to posting anonymously, especially to a forum of people with similar interests. We are humans here and many of us are trying to help.

    Exactly :smile: And there's no family left with which to talk about this. Plus, while maybe a bit unusual, it's a weight problem. And hey, some other perspectives are great. I got some good ideas here, with trying to make it a habit of having a bouillon each morning for example. I have a little box of salt on my desk at work, but it's difficult to remember when your brains are absent. If it tastes disgusting I figure that I'm fine. If it's the most delicious thing in the world then I'm too late already. :D
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,140 Member
    Nothing really to add except hope you get it sorted and maybe just try tweaking meals/macros/micros to see if anything helps in the meantime.
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,984 Member
    tinkerbellang83 wrote: »
    Nothing really to add except hope you get it sorted and maybe just try tweaking meals/macros/micros to see if anything helps in the meantime.

    Yea, that's what I'm trying now. More carbs does help. I get worse if I eat too much protein and fats, but that's always been the case.
  • cparsons_60
    cparsons_60 Posts: 95 Member
    I suggest you ask your doctor about trying a short (3-4 week) course of Ritalin; extend it longer if it helps. Decades ago I was situationally depressed and couldn't shake it. Doc prescribed an SSRI (I can't remember which one), which did help, but after a few months it helped less. At a follow-up my kind and sensitive doc asked, "Are you enjoying anything?" I reflected, and teared up as I realized the answer was no, not really. He added a small dose of Ritalin to the SSRI, and the result was wonderful. Helped me with a lot of issues you describe, in addition to the sad feelings -- brain fog, low energy, inability to focus, excessive appetite. I was able to concentrate better at work, I had the energy to work out a bit, and I cut down on the emotional snacking and therefore lost a bit of weight. Ritalin wasn't a miracle, but it helped to turn the tide for me toward a much more positive direction. Well, I guess that is kind of a miracle, isn't it? And it happened pretty quickly.

    My best to you. I'm sorry you're in a bad patch now. I'm certain you'll get to a better place; I hope that happens soon.
  • dangerousdashie
    dangerousdashie Posts: 119 Member
    How about not keeping any snacks around so you’re not tempted.

    Journal in the morning about how you are feeling, what you can feel good about, and what your plan of action is for when you feel bad. Keep checking in with yourself so you can notice if you are about to have those feelings.
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,984 Member
    dangerousdashie wrote: »
    How about not keeping any snacks around so you’re not tempted.

    Journal in the morning about how you are feeling, what you can feel good about, and what your plan of action is for when you feel bad. Keep checking in with yourself so you can notice if you are about to have those feelings.

    I banned all the snacks ages ago. I then eat more bread, warm up something I still have in the freezer or eat anything else within reach.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    I'm a big fan of keeping lists and reminders in places that are visible, especially when you're trying to replace long-term/ineffective coping mechanisms with newer ones. (Because it's easy to go straight to the behavior you're trying to replace in the moment when you need a coping mechanism, and hard to remember that you're supposed to be trying something different). Perhaps putting a pretty (and positive) note on your refrigerator or cabinets that reminds you to go for a salty food would help you remember?

    I also like outlining processes for the same reason, because I can follow a list even if I'm not in a place where I can come up with a good plan of action on my own. Something like:

    1. Drink a cup of broth or vegetable juice with extra salt
    2. Wait 10-15 minutes
    3. Reassess hunger
    4. If I'm still hungry after that, try [insert whatever next-try options you think might work]
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,984 Member
    AliceDark wrote: »
    I'm a big fan of keeping lists and reminders in places that are visible, especially when you're trying to replace long-term/ineffective coping mechanisms with newer ones. (Because it's easy to go straight to the behavior you're trying to replace in the moment when you need a coping mechanism, and hard to remember that you're supposed to be trying something different). Perhaps putting a pretty (and positive) note on your refrigerator or cabinets that reminds you to go for a salty food would help you remember?

    I also like outlining processes for the same reason, because I can follow a list even if I'm not in a place where I can come up with a good plan of action on my own. Something like:

    1. Drink a cup of broth or vegetable juice with extra salt
    2. Wait 10-15 minutes
    3. Reassess hunger
    4. If I'm still hungry after that, try [insert whatever next-try options you think might work]

    I now put broth into my work bag. Fortunately my tea was just empty, and I hardly ever forget to bring tea. :) The reassessment part is problematic though as I just don't think when I start to feel miserable. It comes out of nowhere, and I might need 60-90 minutes to realize I just need to take a bit of salt to feel better (mind you, I never considered salt in the past. But all the healthy office food around here is so low in salt that I can eat whatever I like. It doesn't help). By then I've already eaten all food that I packed.
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