This pretty much blew me away...secret mom confessions.
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Yeah, wow, but about 90% of statistics are made up anyway, right?
Statistics yes but this is a survey of actual entries....so a bit more credible. a bit. =0) I HOPE
i'm just joshin' with ya
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I'd say a lot of this is spot on. We're human, our kids can drive us nuts. We still would die for them, and love them to pieces despite that.
Agreed! I think its funny some of these people think its disturbing. If you have children you will know most of this is true! The medicine thing I am super against because that can have lasting effects.I just think if you are not a parent you have not right to judge. You are not in our shoes, nor do you work 40 hours a week, take care of the house, pay bills, feed everyone, shop and so on. I'm not preaching, just stating a fact that at somepoint we need to keep our sanity.... Just sayin'
What I think is a little disturbing is that these things have to be kept secret. Why should a mom feel guilty for wanting alone time? Why should a mom feel guilty about wanting to sleep for once instead of having great sex? I would LOVE to have a good night's sleep and wake up when I want to instead of hearing an alarm or a child waking up before dawn. But the fact that everyone thinks these things are so shocking, so horrifying, keeps us moms on the defensive. We can't share our feelings about these things because we know people will think we're horrible.
It's not shocking to be human. Moms are people too, and we're allowed to have negative feelings once in a freaking while.
AMEN!!0 -
I'd say a lot of this is spot on. We're human, our kids can drive us nuts. We still would die for them, and love them to pieces despite that.
Agreed! I think its funny some of these people think its disturbing. If you have children you will know most of this is true! The medicine thing I am super against because that can have lasting effects.I just think if you are not a parent you have not right to judge. You are not in our shoes, nor do you work 40 hours a week, take care of the house, pay bills, feed everyone, shop and so on. I'm not preaching, just stating a fact that at somepoint we need to keep our sanity.... Just sayin'
What I think is a little disturbing is that these things have to be kept secret. Why should a mom feel guilty for wanting alone time? Why should a mom feel guilty about wanting to sleep for once instead of having great sex? I would LOVE to have a good night's sleep and wake up when I want to instead of hearing an alarm or a child waking up before dawn. But the fact that everyone thinks these things are so shocking, so horrifying, keeps us moms on the defensive. We can't share our feelings about these things because we know people will think we're horrible.
It's not shocking to be human. Moms are people too, and we're allowed to have negative feelings once in a freaking while.
1000% AGREED!0 -
Blew you away? I'm guessing you don't have kids. OR you have a lovely woman who takes care of them. (:
I personally do not have kids, but I voluntarily spend my extra time volunteering and helping mentor and take care of kids on a regular basis, I am not judging at all I have been in some pretty hairy situations and really there are only a few of them that are disturbing over interesting. Just thought I would post some interesting info I seen earlier thats all. Cheers! =0)0 -
I'd say a lot of this is spot on. We're human, our kids can drive us nuts. We still would die for them, and love them to pieces despite that.
Agreed! I think its funny some of these people think its disturbing. If you have children you will know most of this is true! The medicine thing I am super against because that can have lasting effects.I just think if you are not a parent you have not right to judge. You are not in our shoes, nor do you work 40 hours a week, take care of the house, pay bills, feed everyone, shop and so on. I'm not preaching, just stating a fact that at somepoint we need to keep our sanity.... Just sayin'
What I think is a little disturbing is that these things have to be kept secret. Why should a mom feel guilty for wanting alone time? Why should a mom feel guilty about wanting to sleep for once instead of having great sex? I would LOVE to have a good night's sleep and wake up when I want to instead of hearing an alarm or a child waking up before dawn. But the fact that everyone thinks these things are so shocking, so horrifying, keeps us moms on the defensive. We can't share our feelings about these things because we know people will think we're horrible.
It's not shocking to be human. Moms are people too, and we're allowed to have negative feelings once in a freaking while.
I cant speak for anyone else....but I was not putting anyone down. I raised my nephew so I know a little bit about motherhood from that perspective. But to explain what I felt was disturbing was the medicating and rather lose 15 lbs than have your childs IQ 15 points higher. The other stuff I totally understand!! Just my thoughts I don't want anyone to think I was criticizing you mothers out there. I know how hard mothers work and do not get acknowledgment sometimes.0 -
And another thing: I would never medicate my child just to make them sleep. But I can understand why some moms do. It's because they are so tired and sacrifice all day long, and they'd just like to have a peaceful evening for once. And they can't talk about it or complain, because people tell them to suck it up, that's just how kids are, you'll miss these days when they're gone, blah blah blah, so they can't even get an emotional outlet for those negative feelings to get some kind of release. Not only that, but for some moms, they're getting that advice from their pediatricians, from their moms and sisters, from the day care worker -- sometimes it's hard to sort out the sound advice from the harmful stuff. If you don't realize the risks and side effects of the medications, all you see are the benefits. How about educating moms instead of criticizing them? And really, is it any wonder that most moms judge other moms? We face criticism and judgment from every direction, so sometimes we go on the defensive and feel like judging someone else. Does that make it right? No. But it's understandable.0
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When my son is talking about video games I throw in "Yeah?", "Uh huh", "Oh really?", "That's awesome", etc. But I'm not listening at all. I just wait for a break in his talking and then throw in a generic comment.
I'm the same way with my wife.
I didn't find any of the so-called "secret" mom confessions all that "secret" or surprising.0 -
Some doctors will tell parents that have problems with their children sleeping to give them benedryl at night until they get a routine down.0
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I already knew that about sending kids to school sick but I absolutely go in the opposite direction out of courtesy to other kids and parents. My child has leukemia and everything my daughter brings home from school could land my son in the hospital. He starts pre-school next year and it scares me to death! If you are a parent who does this, PLEASE consider others. It may be a day home from work with a whiney kid for you, but it could mean a week or two in the hospital in dire circumstances for someone else.0
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#7.) They Medicate Their Kids More Than You Think. 18% have medicated their child before a long car trip or flight to knock him out . . . and 8% sometimes do it on regular nights at home.
I gotta believe the % is much higher for medicating kids before a flight. Oftentimes, it's in an effort to be more considerate/conscientious of other passengers.0 -
I'd say a lot of this is spot on. We're human, our kids can drive us nuts. We still would die for them, and love them to pieces despite that.
I agree. I try not to judge other peoples' parenting, as I know I'm not a perfect mom. Moms all do things differently and we all view parenting in a different way. I'm surprised about moms having favorites though... I have three kids and they all have VASTLY different personalities but I can't imagine having a favorite, even secretly!0 -
None of that particularly surprised me.
Totally agree with #1. I miss alone time. I feel like i'm never alone, even in the shower. If my 3 year old isn't in there with me, she's peeking in the curtain asking if I'm finished.
The breastfeeding one doesn't surprise me, but it does disappoint me. I think things like that are part of the reason why so few moms breastfeed past the first few weeks. I breastfed in all kinds of public places without a cover (also without flashing anyone) and no one ever said anything negative to my face. I did hear some passive aggressive comments, but generally ignored those.0 -
Snort. Yeah, 'cause volunteering a few hours a week is just like parenting.0
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#10.) They Use Their Kids to Get Out of Things. 84% have used their kids as an excuse to skip a social event they didn't want to go to. And 45% do that at least once a month.
Single father going on 10 years now and this one is magic!
This one's the one that resonates the most for me. I'd give up sleep for sex, though when they were babies, I would have given up limbs for sleep. Thank all gods that stage passes.0 -
Would it be better if I medicate myself instead of the kids?
How I would answer the original questions would have depended on what point I was at in life. The things that were going on when my first kid was born were drastically different than when my second was born. By the time number four got here I had a 10 year old, an 8 year old and a 4 year old. The two older kids were incredible blessings to me and made having a new baby so much easier.
When my second child was born it was a vastly different story. This is how our week went: Sat thru Monday we moved into our apartment. Tuesday we found out I was to be induced and husband lost his job. Weds. I had a baby! Thursday husband got a new job (which he ended up losing a week later due to layoffs!) Friday we took baby home and introduced her to her 2 year old big sister. Saturday we found out my dad had died on Thursday. Rough week! Throw some postpartum hormones in there and mix well with lack of sleep and major stress and you can imagine how I might have answered those questions!
I guess my point is, moms (and dads) can have any number of things going on that could effect how they'd respond to that but I think the majority of us are just trying to do the best we can with what we've got. I love my kids and have done some of the things in that list but as I've learned and grown over the years I've changed things with subsequent kids. I want the best for them and sometimes that means showing them how a person needs to take a moment to themselves. I don't think wanting time alone is a negative, I think it's a healthy thing to do and to model for my kids. Mine are getting older now (range from 17 to 7) and I have a lot more freedom to take time for me. In fact, this weekend I'm going away without any of them and Dad's in charge!0 -
I have 2 kids and I agree with a couple of these (alone time)
but most are just wrong in so many ways.0 -
Snort. Yeah, 'cause volunteering a few hours a week is just like parenting.
I don't think he is making judgement on others. The fact that some of these things are disturbing transcends parenthood.0 -
Really? I would have thought more people would want boys. I'd never want to raise a girl.0
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Several of those applied to me when my kids were younger. Now they are 9 & 12, so things are different now. I love babies and toddlers, but it is nice to take a shower without visitors. One that I find very disturbing is children getting hurt or almost hurt because Mom can't break away from the laptop or smartphone. I can't tell you how many women sit through softball games spending the entire time on their phone instead of watching their kids play. I do have to admit to using medicine on the kids a few times. Especially my youngest, she would have night terrors and refused to go back to sleep. Sometimes a Benadryl was my only hope. And, it was suggested by a Dr.0
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Wow... so sad....... I don't even know how to respond to some of this.
1.) They Want to Be Left Alone. -- This makes complete sense to me. Sometimes. Everyone needs some breathing room... it's not bad to want more alone time.
#2.) They're Weird About Seeing Other Women Breastfeeding. This saddens me beyond belief. Breastfeeding a child is the most natural thing to do, it's the best way to nurture and parent, and to have people feel awkward about it is awful. Breastfeeding is great, moms should be PROUD to breastfeed.
#3.) They Send Their Kids to School Sick. 49% of moms, or about HALF, have KNOWINGLY sent their kids to school while sick because they couldn't stay home to take care of them.-- I hate this bc my child has ended up in the hospital TWICE because of this. TWICE. The second time there was a cardiac unit(paddles) outside her room because they thought she was going to code the first night she was admitted. All because a mom or dad didn't want to keep their kid with a 102 degree fever home. P
#6.) They're Distracted by Technology. This one REALLY isn't cool. 5% say their child has gotten HURT because they were texting or web surfing . . . and another 18% have had a close call. -- I witness this at the playground all the time. Scares me more when I see this at the pool in the summer of moms with young babies. What's more important, that text msg or your kid's life?
#7.) They Medicate Their Kids More Than You Think. 18% have medicated their child before a long car trip or flight to knock him out . . . and 8% sometimes do it on regular nights at home. -- Makes me sad... and for the person who said it before a flight- that is scary. Studies have shown that people metabolize medicines differently on airplanes due to the altitude/pressure change and a normal dose at ground level can do some real damage in the air. I'd rather hear a kid scream on the plane that be worried that they'd never wake up. I also think knocking your children out for your conveniece is horrible. It sends a terrible message to your children that they aren't worth working with.
#8.) They Judge Other Moms Constantly. 88% say they regularly judge other moms. 66% say they judge a mom with a bratty kid, 37% judge a mom with an overweight kid, and 34% judge a mom whose kid is eating junk food. --- I judge the parents of bratty kids for not dealing with their kid- I fault the parent more than the child.
Now that I've upset more MFPers, I'll stop now......0 -
Snort. Yeah, 'cause volunteering a few hours a week is just like parenting.
I don't think he is making judgement on others. The fact that some of these things are disturbing transcends parenthood.
Thanks for the backing... I am not saying it isn't hard, and maybe I worded my heading incorrectly I apologize. I am not trying to start anything around here I just found it interesting thats all. I know working with kids on a regular basis is not parenting, but what I have to deal with stems from what happens, or doesn't happen at home. What I deal with is what kids do not feel like talking to their parents about. So really some of the situations I encounter are harder sometimes because I have to help the child unknowingly upon what I know happens in the home. I work with kids that have been raped and have lost friends to suicide among many other unspeakable situations. So what I am saying is if you want to trade places and talk to a 14 year old girl that has been raped for two years because her parents were to busy to pay any attention then be my guest. So yes I know how hard this can be and no its not parenting, but hard enough sometimes.0 -
I already knew that about sending kids to school sick but I absolutely go in the opposite direction out of courtesy to other kids and parents. My child has leukemia and everything my daughter brings home from school could land my son in the hospital. He starts pre-school next year and it scares me to death! If you are a parent who does this, PLEASE consider others. It may be a day home from work with a whiney kid for you, but it could mean a week or two in the hospital in dire circumstances for someone else.
I am so sorry to hear of your situation... Do you have the option to homeschool?? Just asking...0 -
I've medicated my children!... Yeah, always gave them tylenol before their check-ups that included shots... LOL I do miss alone time & sleeping in. My boys are early risers.. always have been. Kept them home from school when sick... often experiencing lots of backlash from co-workers,.. (ofcourse the ones that did not have children). They just don't get it until they become a parent themself. Would never trade sleep for sex under ANY circumstance! Having a sex life is difficult enough having small children in the house. And sorry, but i'm totally against breast-feeding in public. I know it's natural,...yeah yeah yeah~ my family doesn't need to see you whip your tit out because your child needs nutrition~ that's what PUMPS are made for... give me a break:)0
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Thanks for the backing... I am not saying it isn't hard, and maybe I worded my heading incorrectly I apologize. I am not trying to start anything around here I just found it interesting thats all. I know working with kids on a regular basis is not parenting, but what I have to deal with stems from what happens, or doesn't happen at home. What I deal with is what kids do not feel like talking to their parents about. So really some of the situations I encounter are harder sometimes because I have to help the child unknowingly upon what I know happens in the home. I work with kids that have been raped and have lost friends to suicide among many other unspeakable situations. So what I am saying is if you want to trade places and talk to a 14 year old girl that has been raped for two years because her parents were to busy to pay any attention then be my guest. So yes I know how hard this can be and no its not parenting, but hard enough sometimes.
That's tragic, but not comparable to most parenting issues. I'm sure those issues would actually blow me away. The list posted? Not so much.0 -
Thanks for the backing... I am not saying it isn't hard, and maybe I worded my heading incorrectly I apologize. I am not trying to start anything around here I just found it interesting thats all. I know working with kids on a regular basis is not parenting, but what I have to deal with stems from what happens, or doesn't happen at home. What I deal with is what kids do not feel like talking to their parents about. So really some of the situations I encounter are harder sometimes because I have to help the child unknowingly upon what I know happens in the home. I work with kids that have been raped and have lost friends to suicide among many other unspeakable situations. So what I am saying is if you want to trade places and talk to a 14 year old girl that has been raped for two years because her parents were to busy to pay any attention then be my guest. So yes I know how hard this can be and no its not parenting, but hard enough sometimes.
That's tragic, but not comparable to most parenting issues. I'm sure those issues would actually blow me away. The list posted? Not so much.
Yea trust me after dealing with and hearing some of the things I do I would take ANY parenting issue any day! The world is a very disturbing place.0 -
I've medicated my children!... Yeah, always gave them tylenol before their check-ups that included shots... LOL I do miss alone time & sleeping in. My boys are early risers.. always have been. Kept them home from school when sick... often experiencing lots of backlash from co-workers,.. (ofcourse the ones that did not have children). They just don't get it until they become a parent themself. Would never trade sleep for sex under ANY circumstance! Having a sex life is difficult enough having small children in the house. And sorry, but i'm totally against breast-feeding in public. I know it's natural,...yeah yeah yeah~ my family doesn't need to see you whip your tit out because your child needs nutrition~ that's what PUMPS are made for... give me a break:)
This is my soap box issue, so feel free to ignore me, I just have to respond.
I have never seen a mom just "whip her tit out" and I hang out with a lot of breastfeeding moms. Most moms who nurse in public do so pretty discreetly. They're not looking to be bothered or draw attention, they just want to get their kid fed.
Pumping is misunderstood by lots of people. You can build up a stash of milk for times when you're not there, but the way pumping really works is that you pump when you'd be feeding is your kid was with you. If you don't then you get uncomfortably engorged with the extra milk. In addition, many breastfed kids will not take a bottle from their mom. And on top of that, not all women respond well to pumps. I know this one from experience. It literally would take 5 or 6 30 to 40 min pumping sessions for me to fill one small bottle. I had neither the time nor patience for that when I was caring for a baby.
And because I find that most people who are against nursing in public have never seen anyone do it here. .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LMNoqpAM4A
That's a video I made of how I nursed my daughter in public for discussions like this one.0 -
I've medicated my children!... Yeah, always gave them tylenol before their check-ups that included shots... LOL I do miss alone time & sleeping in. My boys are early risers.. always have been. Kept them home from school when sick... often experiencing lots of backlash from co-workers,.. (ofcourse the ones that did not have children). They just don't get it until they become a parent themself. Would never trade sleep for sex under ANY circumstance! Having a sex life is difficult enough having small children in the house. And sorry, but i'm totally against breast-feeding in public. I know it's natural,...yeah yeah yeah~ my family doesn't need to see you whip your tit out because your child needs nutrition~ that's what PUMPS are made for... give me a break:)
This is my soap box issue, so feel free to ignore me, I just have to respond.
I have never seen a mom just "whip her tit out" and I hang out with a lot of breastfeeding moms. Most moms who nurse in public do so pretty discreetly. They're not looking to be bothered or draw attention, they just want to get their kid fed.
Pumping is misunderstood by lots of people. You can build up a stash of milk for times when you're not there, but the way pumping really works is that you pump when you'd be feeding is your kid was with you. If you don't then you get uncomfortably engorged with the extra milk. In addition, many breastfed kids will not take a bottle from their mom. And on top of that, not all women respond well to pumps. I know this one from experience. It literally would take 5 or 6 30 to 40 min pumping sessions for me to fill one small bottle. I had neither the time nor patience for that when I was caring for a baby.
And because I find that most people who are against nursing in public have never seen anyone do it here. .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LMNoqpAM4A
That's a video I made of how I nursed my daughter in public for discussions like this one.
Adding to the pumping issue, some mothers like myself produce an excess of the enzyme lipase in their milk. When the milk is frozen or refrigerated for very long at all, it tastes very soapy. Neither of my children would drink my milk from a bottle unless it was freshly pumped, in which case why did I even bother pumping? Yeah, it's not always so easy as "that's what pumps are made for."0 -
I don't find most of these disturbing or surprising at all - just the ones about distraction due to technology and the medicating. It does bug me that other women are grossed out by breastfeeding - that's what your breasts are for not to mention breastmilk is really good for the baby. Women should spend their time breastfeeding their own children and supporting mothers who literally can't breastfeed and feel bad about it instead of bashing moms who breastfeed in public; I wouldn't give a child formula in public just to make others more comfortable.0
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Totally agree with about 85% of that!!! The worst is the breast feeding thing! Super gross! This is why I have one daughter and I am completely content with her!
Breastfeeding in public is a protected right in almost every state. A baby's need to eat supersedes your feelings on the matter.0 -
And sorry, but i'm totally against breast-feeding in public. I know it's natural,...yeah yeah yeah~ my family doesn't need to see you whip your tit out because your child needs nutrition~ that's what PUMPS are made for... give me a break:)
Pumping messes with your milk supply and is for emergencies and when you can't be with your baby, not to make ignorant fools who think it's "dirty" to nurse in public comfortable. Here's a tip: the words you use can influence your thoughts, so maybe if you stop thinking a breastfeeding mom is "whipping her tit out" (I strongly suggest trying to stop thinking of them as tits entirely) rather than "feeding her child," you could be OK with it! It's not Mardi Gras. She is not trying to excite or upset you. It is straining me to be this nice about it, so I will now move on.
I just have to laugh at anyone who is "shocked" by any of these. I am horrified by people who send their kids to school sick for their own convenience and give them medicine for the same reason, but folks do it all the time. (Need I mention I am among the 88% who is constantly judging other parents?) But shocked? Try parenting for a few more years (or more than one kid) and then see how many of those ring true, gals. Also, if you do not use your kids to get out of dull social obligations and other things you don't want to do, you are missing out on one of the chief perks of parenthood.0
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