Child nutrition in 2018
KalesBagel
Posts: 20 Member
Is it just me or is teaching children moderation becoming increasingly hard? I definitely don't withhold popsicles or the occasional snack cake from my children, but it seems like there's no outer support. Every time a family member is around there's constant offerings of candy and soda and cake and cookies. My parents are bewildered that I don't give my 5 year old soda. I don't even drink soda. The waitress at the local restaurant will chime in "Sprite for her?" and I reply no, and my kids faces fall. The options on the kids menus frustrate me. I'll order tacos for them and it comes with just meat and cheese on a tortilla. We eat out only once a month or so, but I have 2 kids (one is biological and one is not) and they go to their other parent's homes on alternating weeks and they come back and complain that I put mushrooms in the spaghetti and refuse to eat it, because they ate nothing but chicken nuggets and pizza for a week straight while they were gone. When did food become separated into "adult food" and "kid food"? I'm really just venting mostly. It is just frustrating that my kids constantly expect brightly colored, animal shaped, deep fried foods covered in cheese for every single meal. It's just weird to me that there seems to be a general consensus that real food is for grown-ups.
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my 12 year old can eat what i cook, or not eat.
those are his options.
you cant control what others do, only what you do.11 -
I get that and it is not a 2018 issue.
About 18 years ago I was making some baby cereal for a guest's baby and was told they would add sugar to it. I did not add sugar and the baby ate it just fine to the shock of the parent. I know the cereal seems bland to adults but you could mix in vegetables or fruits rather than just dumping sugar in. And babies are pretty okay with bland foods. I doubt they changed their practices but they had the preconceived notion that their child would only eat a food that was a certain way. Eventually that would probably be true if it were the only thing offered.
There are a lot of kids and adults who happily will eat the same five foods. They may be nutritious or less nutritious foods.
My dd has been willing to try more foods as she got older. She didn't just eat chicken nuggets or drink soda pop but still doesn't want to eat mushrooms. I do put mushrooms in some dishes and she can pick them out. My mom hated mushrooms until the day she died so some people never get over a dislike even if they were born in the 1940's. I always loved mushrooms even as a kid so my mom would give me the mushrooms off her pizza.
You do get to choose what you offer your kids though and can order anything you want for them off the dang menu at restaurants so keep on offering a variety of foods.0 -
I have a home daycare. Feeding the children who come in already eating table foods is so frustrating! Those that start young with me are used to eating a variety of 'real' food. Many of the others will only eat 'kid' food and I had one that would ONLY eat bread. Literally. He would not eat pizza, chicken nuggets, fries, nothing but bread. I work with them as much as I can, but when they know they can refuse my meals and their parents will give them a honey bun at pick up, they won't give in and eat. (Yes, I had one of those, too)3
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I worked in child care in the 90s. There is nothing 2018 about any of this.
All you can do is offer nutritious alternatives. Many kids are more open when they have a choice, even if the choice is between and apple and a pear.7 -
Marketing works, unfortunately. Growing up we didn't have money for the special "kid foods" but my mom would use little plates, monkey dishes, parfait glasses and things like that to make the food fun for us. She wouldn't use them for every meal but I remember me and my sisters getting excited when she'd serve something in them.3
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serindipte wrote: »I have a home daycare. Feeding the children who come in already eating table foods is so frustrating! Those that start young with me are used to eating a variety of 'real' food. Many of the others will only eat 'kid' food and I had one that would ONLY eat bread. Literally. He would not eat pizza, chicken nuggets, fries, nothing but bread. I work with them as much as I can, but when they know they can refuse my meals and their parents will give them a honey bun at pick up, they won't give in and eat. (Yes, I had one of those, too)
That's exactly my issue. I have the girls from 6pm Sunday until the next Sunday and they will starve themselves until about Wednesday (absolutely gorge themselves) and then they'll starve again for the rest of the time until they go back. It's way way worse with my step daughter though. She doesn't know when she's full or when she's hungry so if we have a pizza night or whatever she'll eat until she throws up. So that puts me in a sticky situation because I know she's got a very unhealthy attitude towards food (shes only 3) but the only way I can teach her about being full or hungry is to feed her what her mom does (mcdonalds every day and lots and lots of oreos). So I have to choose between contributing to her obesity (shes a big girl) or continuing to cook the normal meals me and my husband eat and her switching between starvation and binging. It's a hard situation.7 -
I blame parents. Growing up, we ate what our parents cooked. Soda and ice cream were special treats for birthday parties and holidays. We didnt eat perfectly but we learned to like vegetables and healthy foods. Nowadays people coddle their kids by feeding them only what they want.6
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I have noticed this too....my kids have always wanted what was on my plate since they could eat regular food( about 9 months old) and that is what they got. They refused special toddler foods liker Gerber pick ups, etc... Dont get me wrong, they like chicken nuggets, pizza etc...but waitresses and friends are always surprised when my kiddos order salads, shrimp, or anything not on the kid menu and they are 9 and 6. One thing I always told my kids was if you eat one junk food you have to eat one good healthy food next....so if they eat cookies, their next snack is cheese stick, gogurt, fruit, etc...that seems to keep them in check and keeps their nutrition in balance. I also let them help my decide what to make for dinner sometimes with guided choices. They are more likely to eat if they can decide. I also only introduce one new food in a meal at a time...so they are more likely to at least eat everything else...but I don't make kid specific meals unless its for lunch or quick dinner nights. Its tough though when they hold out especially at 3 yrs old. Hopefully you can get the step mom to help out and work with you on helping to regulate her eating more. Good Luck.4
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Hm, maybe that depends on where you live, but I'm actually noticing WAY more awareness now around healthy eating, for both kids and adults, and way more healthy choices and less junk given to kids than when I was a kid. We don't buy or keep junk in the house, no soda, no crappy fast food etc aside from special occasions, they're not forbidden from it or anything but it's very limited and really easy to do because all our family and friends are the same way with their kids, I haven't seen anyone I know drink a soda in a long long time; schools encourage healthy foods only, school lunches aren't perfect as they're still highly processed but there is no soda, an unlimited fresh veggie bar, whole grains/ brown rice etc. My oldest will choose sushi over pizza or fries every time when we eat out. Funnily enough I just got blasted for all this over in the Debate forum, where I was told Doritos and soda are perfectly healthy food choices, and my kids would grow up to gorge themselves on junk food because we don't eat it at home...17
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Don't think it's a 2018 thing...4
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nettiklive wrote: »Hm, maybe that depends on where you live, but I'm actually noticing WAY more awareness now around healthy eating, for both kids and adults, and way more healthy choices and less junk given to kids than when I was a kid. We don't buy or keep junk in the house, no soda, no crappy fast food etc aside from special occasions, they're not forbidden from it or anything but it's very limited and really easy to do because all our family and friends are the same way with their kids, I haven't seen anyone I know drink a soda in a long long time; schools encourage healthy foods only, school lunches aren't perfect as they're still highly processed but there is no soda, an unlimited fresh veggie bar, whole grains/ brown rice etc. My oldest will choose sushi over pizza or fries every time when we eat out. Funnily enough I just got blasted for all this over in the Debate forum, where I was told Doritos and soda are perfectly healthy food choices, and my kids would grow up to gorge themselves on junk food because we don't eat it at home...
Thats ridiculous lol. It's one thing to say that on occasion its fine to let your kids have junk food, its entirely another thing to say that its healthy for them to eat it. Maybe its my location then. I live in Indiana and a lot of my family live in urban areas in the cities. Indiana is a pretty fat state. I'm the only person I know besides my husband who is actually eating healthy and trying to lose weight.6 -
I’m finding the same issue in the UK. A child in our family is only fed chicken nuggets, fish fingers, chips and ketchup from what I can see! Have never seen her eat a vegetable. And she is incredibly fussy with food. Trouble is, given the choice her mum will only eat those foods also!
If they aren’t introduced to different foods early on then they start being fussy eaters and rely on these nutritionally void foods. I honestly think it is a lack of knowledge on my family members part and they genuinely believe they are giving her a healthy diet!1 -
KalesBagel wrote: »serindipte wrote: »I have a home daycare. Feeding the children who come in already eating table foods is so frustrating! Those that start young with me are used to eating a variety of 'real' food. Many of the others will only eat 'kid' food and I had one that would ONLY eat bread. Literally. He would not eat pizza, chicken nuggets, fries, nothing but bread. I work with them as much as I can, but when they know they can refuse my meals and their parents will give them a honey bun at pick up, they won't give in and eat. (Yes, I had one of those, too)
That's exactly my issue. I have the girls from 6pm Sunday until the next Sunday and they will starve themselves until about Wednesday (absolutely gorge themselves) and then they'll starve again for the rest of the time until they go back. It's way way worse with my step daughter though. She doesn't know when she's full or when she's hungry so if we have a pizza night or whatever she'll eat until she throws up. So that puts me in a sticky situation because I know she's got a very unhealthy attitude towards food (shes only 3) but the only way I can teach her about being full or hungry is to feed her what her mom does (mcdonalds every day and lots and lots of oreos). So I have to choose between contributing to her obesity (shes a big girl) or continuing to cook the normal meals me and my husband eat and her switching between starvation and binging. It's a hard situation.
That is so hard and so frustrating:-( What does your 3 year old’s pediatrician say? It sounds like a unified approach to her diet is needed. You should check out Ellyn Satter’s website and books.
https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/
They were really helpful for my boy’s feeding issues.
Your doing a good job. It’s your responsibility to offer them nutritious meals and snacks. It is their job to eat them. Don’t be afraid to reach out to their pediatrician for a dietician referral. It helped me and my son. Best wishes to you.2 -
I found that involving my child in food preparation always made him want to eat what he had helped make. Have them help with simple things like picking out produce at the supermarket, washing veggies, stirring and adding ingredients. Talk to them about where their food comes from, visit a farm, plant an outdoor or indoor garden, shop together at the farmers market and together talk to the people who grow the food, watch cooking shows together. Kids are curious by nature and the more they learn about food they will feel more in control and at ease with what they are eating and perhaps more adventurous in trying new foods. Give them positive feedback when they do and just make food more interesting for them
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A 3 year old eating until she throws up doesn’t sound normal... I’d take her to the doctor!10
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monkeefan1974 wrote: »I found that involving my child in food preparation always made him want to eat what he had helped make. Have them help with simple things like picking out produce at the supermarket, washing veggies, stirring and adding ingredients. Talk to them about where their food comes from, visit a farm, plant an outdoor or indoor garden, shop together at the farmers market and together talk to the people who grow the food, watch cooking shows together. Kids are curious by nature and the more they learn about food they will feel more in control and at ease with what they are eating and perhaps more adventurous in trying new foods. Give them positive feedback when they do and just make food more interesting for them
This approach worked wonders with my now Godchild whose older siblings favourites always were: Cold cereals, frozen pizzas, frozen chicken nuggets/fish sticks, fried fast food chicken, the boxed mac 'n' cheese (3 or more cheese homemade was not the blue box variety) and the white castle frozen burgers and of course fast food orders/purchases as a snack option or the preferred meal.
We were neighbours of his, who'd circumstantially became very involved in his life. His first harvest were pumpkins, which he'd planted with my sister. At the Farmer's Market, riding in a wagon cart, he will fill his basket with any edibles he has never eaten and wishes to try. With our bites, he is involved with making our main meals and our snacks. To start he was curious - for what we'd had in our kitchen did not mirror his family's at all. Fortunately, he took to us as quickly as we did him, so I do agree, that child/ren do mimick adults eating habits and preferences.
ETA: @bites He'd started off helping himself to our portioned snacks, our pestos, our yoghurts, for they were all within his height reach range. His mother was surprised that when he'd referred to candy, he'd meant the isis candy cherry tomatoes. What we'd give him when he'd insisted on candy lol NOT that we didn't give him treats. We just wanted to try it out with him - if he'd accept it.3 -
I blame parents. Growing up, we ate what our parents cooked. Soda and ice cream were special treats for birthday parties and holidays. We didnt eat perfectly but we learned to like vegetables and healthy foods. Nowadays people coddle their kids by feeding them only what they want.
Yeah but some parents went too far (mine did) and so it makes sense that some of the next generation might over-compensate in the other direction.
I am not a parent but I imagine you need to fight hard to help children have a balanced diet but learn to lose when they sit there for almost an hour in tears over boiled to death spinach, turnip greens, and Brussel sprouts. Plenty of good nutrition can be had while still eliminating some obviously problem foods. Trust me, I ate food I didn't love but no one enjoyed the experience of food I gagged over. I got numerous spankings in the name of healthy eating.6 -
It seems that there are two types of people now: those that are very into taking care of themselves and their health and those whose kids eat only nuggets and fast food.10
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It seems that there are two types of people now: those that are very into taking care of themselves and their health and those whose kids eat only nuggets and fast food.
I find that statement completely false, and it's a very binary view of things which completely ignores context and dosage. There is plenty of reasonable, healthy middle ground between obsessive orthorexic and junk food junkie.
There's actually a great article written by a knowledgeable person about exactly that binary way of thinking: https://bodyrecomposition.com/nutrition/excluding-the-middle.html/17 -
nettiklive wrote: »Hm, maybe that depends on where you live, but I'm actually noticing WAY more awareness now around healthy eating, for both kids and adults, and way more healthy choices and less junk given to kids than when I was a kid. We don't buy or keep junk in the house, no soda, no crappy fast food etc aside from special occasions, they're not forbidden from it or anything but it's very limited and really easy to do because all our family and friends are the same way with their kids, I haven't seen anyone I know drink a soda in a long long time; schools encourage healthy foods only, school lunches aren't perfect as they're still highly processed but there is no soda, an unlimited fresh veggie bar, whole grains/ brown rice etc. My oldest will choose sushi over pizza or fries every time when we eat out. Funnily enough I just got blasted for all this over in the Debate forum, where I was told Doritos and soda are perfectly healthy food choices, and my kids would grow up to gorge themselves on junk food because we don't eat it at home...
This is certainly an interesting interpretation of that thread.It seems that there are two types of people now: those that are very into taking care of themselves and their health and those whose kids eat only nuggets and fast food.
So you don't think that a parent who is interested in health and well being could occasionally feed their child chicken nuggets? There's only the two extremes?
OP, my sister was an extremely picky eater, there was often a separate meal made for her. Personally, I think that making the separate meal was overkill, but had they not done it, she would have eaten nothing but cereal. You can't control what's being feed to them while not under your care, but I do think the idea of getting them involved in planning and prepping could be helpful. Of course, how much a 3 year old can do will be limited.
Another thing to consider is that many younger kids have certain foods that they just don't like. This is not new (my sister is nearly 40, so it's been going on for at least 38 years). Can you adapt and compromise a bit so that your idea of what she should be eating is a little closer to what she will eat? If she won't eat mushrooms, make most of the recipe, pull out a little bit, then add the mushrooms.6 -
It seems that there are two types of people now: those that are very into taking care of themselves and their health and those whose kids eat only nuggets and fast food.
Wow. You should really edit that nonsense post out and pretend you never posted it. There is EVERY kind of people in the world. From extreme to extreme and everything in between.
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nutmegoreo wrote: »nettiklive wrote: »Hm, maybe that depends on where you live, but I'm actually noticing WAY more awareness now around healthy eating, for both kids and adults, and way more healthy choices and less junk given to kids than when I was a kid. We don't buy or keep junk in the house, no soda, no crappy fast food etc aside from special occasions, they're not forbidden from it or anything but it's very limited and really easy to do because all our family and friends are the same way with their kids, I haven't seen anyone I know drink a soda in a long long time; schools encourage healthy foods only, school lunches aren't perfect as they're still highly processed but there is no soda, an unlimited fresh veggie bar, whole grains/ brown rice etc. My oldest will choose sushi over pizza or fries every time when we eat out. Funnily enough I just got blasted for all this over in the Debate forum, where I was told Doritos and soda are perfectly healthy food choices, and my kids would grow up to gorge themselves on junk food because we don't eat it at home...
This is certainly an interesting interpretation of that thread.It seems that there are two types of people now: those that are very into taking care of themselves and their health and those whose kids eat only nuggets and fast food.
So you don't think that a parent who is interested in health and well being could occasionally feed their child chicken nuggets? There's only the two extremes?
OP, my sister was an extremely picky eater, there was often a separate meal made for her. Personally, I think that making the separate meal was overkill, but had they not done it, she would have eaten nothing but cereal. You can't control what's being feed to them while not under your care, but I do think the idea of getting them involved in planning and prepping could be helpful. Of course, how much a 3 year old can do will be limited.
Another thing to consider is that many younger kids have certain foods that they just don't like. This is not new (my sister is nearly 40, so it's been going on for at least 38 years). Can you adapt and compromise a bit so that your idea of what she should be eating is a little closer to what she will eat? If she won't eat mushrooms, make most of the recipe, pull out a little bit, then add the mushrooms.
I'm going to be honest, I have compromised as much as I can. I have another daughters health to worry about and I can't compromise so much that I'm feeding them both healthy every once in awhile. She will eat no vegetable. Not a single one. The only compromise I can make with her is to not eat as many vegetables. And I'm already doing that, but she will cry, gag, complain, stall, spit, etc. It's not pretty. We're about to get her in therapy for some other behaviors though. Unfortunately we have to do it behind her mothers back, but she really needs to go. She has about a million phobias and yells in her sleep. I worry about that girl
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I'm in a similar situation with my kids and their Dad. We eat a whole foods diet at my house, very little to no processed foods when I can avoid it. My kids eat just fine at my house because they know it is what it is, and they either eat what I offer or they starve. Getting their Dad on board has been impossible. That said, now that my kids are older, they have begun to understand why we eat the way we do and have even starting making requests from their Dad like Kale Chips and plain yogurt. Also, my daughter who is 11 really enjoys going food shopping and to the Farmers Market and often helps out now in the kitchen with meal prep. Ever since she started getting more involved in the whole process, she's started making better choices on her own. Not sure if that helps you, but thought I'd offer it up as an anecdote.
Since you are having problems with them not eating/gorging, I'd highly recommend this book.
https://www.amazon.com/How-Raise-Mindful-Eater-Transforming-ebook/dp/B01MZYTG6G1 -
Oof, it's really hard when you share custody and one parent is not interested in fixing the behavior. I'm not a parent but my 11 year old niece eats at our house pretty often and she pretty much just ate whatever we had from when she was very small. My mom did the "No, this is adult food you can't have it" trick (which caused her to INSIST that she had it and LOVED it when she was little). Now at 11 we mix- a snack will be an apple and bowl of sugary *kitten* cereal, or fruit funs and some cheese curds.0
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One last suggestion is to google how to hide veggies in meals. I think there is a cookbook on this as well. Example pureed carrots can be mixed in spaghetti sauce used on pasta or pizza etc...0
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I’m finding the same issue in the UK. A child in our family is only fed chicken nuggets, fish fingers, chips and ketchup from what I can see! Have never seen her eat a vegetable. And she is incredibly fussy with food. Trouble is, given the choice her mum will only eat those foods also!
If they aren’t introduced to different foods early on then they start being fussy eaters and rely on these nutritionally void foods. I honestly think it is a lack of knowledge on my family members part and they genuinely believe they are giving her a healthy diet!
I have two children, twins in fact, who have been raised eating the same food. One is a picky eater and the other is not. The picky one it is a constant battle to get him to eat even 2 bites of vegetable at dinner, non picky child happily wolfs down all that I give him and relishes trying new things I introduce. If I didn't make some accomodations for the picky child he would not eat for lengths of time that would be unhealthy and he is already on the small side of the growth curve. He eats meat, bread, cheese and rice mostly, I have to bribe him to eat a bite or two of vegetable.
Everyone thinks they are an expert on kids, even kids they don't know. Early intro of healthy food is great, but if you have a really picky eater it won't change that. People seem to think picky eaters can be cured by just starving them until they get hungry, but if this works it means your kid was being a fussy jerk about food and were never truly a picky eater.
Honestly, it is exhausting trying to come up with ideas to try to get him to eat, so yeah from the outside it might look like I am just giving in sometimes and letting him eat just french fries for dinner.
It is hard to know what happens in peoples private lives and it seems like everyone is just so excited to jump on the judgment bandwagon.
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While I would generally advocate making the child try a bite of new healthy things per meal, this extreme behavior of gagging and spitting may call for that in combination with a more stealth parenting tack---hide the veggies. It's fairly easy to add pureed spinach and/or carrots to marinara sauce.
What about having the little one help you prepare and cook some meals? Maybe she'll be quite proud of her handiwork and want to try it.
Hey, kudos to you and your husband for pursuing therapy for the kiddo and for trying to help foster and develop a healthier relationship with food for her as well. My oldest (a step) had a VERY limited typical American kid palate for a long time and is still a "picky eater." That was frustrating enough without the veggie phobia. We haven't had the same problem with our youngest, thankfully, because if it's on my plate, she wants it. If she's not in the mood to eat a particular item all I have to do is pretend I'm going to eat it and there will be profuse giggling as she 'steals' the bite. Good luck to you, and as as the parent of a nearly 3 year old...may the odds be ever in your favor. Toddlers can be real kittens.2 -
I just can't wrap my head around this. How is it easier to make a seperate meal for a child rather than giving them a smaller portion of your own meal (blended if they're not eating solids)? I can't speak on this too much because I don't have children and maybe I will feel very naive when the time comes but that is the approach that I intend to take.
When I was a child I always ate what my parents were eating (I think I had my first curry at the age of about 9!). This also definitely seems to be a western thing. You don't see children is China or India eating different food to their parents.4 -
A long time ago my husband used to own a bar. A wise regular used to say “a guy sitting on my side of the bar will always tell you how easy it is to run a bar, and someone with no kids will always tell a parent how they should be raising their kids”.
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