Unsolicited advice at the gym
ayson9
Posts: 18 Member
When I first started working out at the gym and probably several years afterwards, I used to think that those who give random pieces of tips and advices on the workout I’m doing are just obnoxious cocky and annoying individuals.
This is in regards to those people who look the part in knowing their *kitten* and having the results to prove it.
Honestly, I wish someone had stepped in and gave their tips and tricks when I first started training, it would have filled me in on a lot of stuff I used to do wrong, the injuries I didn’t need to suffer and the setbacks in weight lost that I didn’t know until I started being open about receiving advice.
The most likely cause in my first response to individuals who give unsolicited advice is most likely due to my insecurities and self consciousness about myself just trying to put up a front and assuming that every individual out there is an *kitten* telling me what to do and how to do it, when in reality, they were simply trying to help in making sure I’m doing things properly and effectively in regards to nutrition and training.
I also partly feel that it is just a social norm for anyone who has only begun their fitness journey to react to those unsolicited but most likely helpful advice.
What do you think would be a good practice or approach to be able to help beginner gym goers in offering helpful tips without making them think you’re just a cocky *kitten* thinking their hot *kitten*?
This is in regards to those people who look the part in knowing their *kitten* and having the results to prove it.
Honestly, I wish someone had stepped in and gave their tips and tricks when I first started training, it would have filled me in on a lot of stuff I used to do wrong, the injuries I didn’t need to suffer and the setbacks in weight lost that I didn’t know until I started being open about receiving advice.
The most likely cause in my first response to individuals who give unsolicited advice is most likely due to my insecurities and self consciousness about myself just trying to put up a front and assuming that every individual out there is an *kitten* telling me what to do and how to do it, when in reality, they were simply trying to help in making sure I’m doing things properly and effectively in regards to nutrition and training.
I also partly feel that it is just a social norm for anyone who has only begun their fitness journey to react to those unsolicited but most likely helpful advice.
What do you think would be a good practice or approach to be able to help beginner gym goers in offering helpful tips without making them think you’re just a cocky *kitten* thinking their hot *kitten*?
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Replies
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When I first started working out at the gym and probably several years afterwards, I used to think that those who give random pieces of tips and advices on the workout I’m doing are just obnoxious cocky and annoying individuals.
This is in regards to those people who look the part in knowing their *kitten* and having the results to prove it.
Honestly, I wish someone had stepped in and gave their tips and tricks when I first started training, it would have filled me in on a lot of stuff I used to do wrong, the injuries I didn’t need to suffer and the setbacks in weight lost that I didn’t know until I started being open about receiving advice.
The most likely cause in my first response to individuals who give unsolicited advice is most likely due to my insecurities and self consciousness about myself just trying to put up a front and assuming that every individual out there is an *kitten* telling me what to do and how to do it, when in reality, they were simply trying to help in making sure I’m doing things properly and effectively in regards to nutrition and training.
I also partly feel that it is just a social norm for anyone who has only begun their fitness journey to react to those unsolicited but most likely helpful advice.
What do you think would be a good practice or approach to be able to help beginner gym goers in offering helpful tips without making them think you’re just a cocky *kitten* thinking their hot *kitten*?
Become a personal trainer and be qualified, hired and paid to do it.
I don't offer tips to anybody in the gym unless specifically asked. I'm there for my workout and what they do isn't my concern unless they're endangering other people in the gym - at which point I'd tell the gym staff about it and let them handle it.
There are a lot of people in gyms everywhere who have succeeded in spite of what they've done rather than because of what they've done, so "looking the part" doesn't always mean the advice they offer will be worth anything. Maybe they know their stuff, or maybe they just have great genetics and/or take a lot of drugs.37 -
Folks need to want help, and most gyms have personal trainers available to offer that help. Personally, I go to my physical therapist when I want help: she has a file on my specific needs, vs the personal trainer who taught our yoga class today and didn't even mention that the Japanese back bridge she wanted everyone to try might not be appropriate for folks with certain back issues.9
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I wouldn't give advice unless I was asked, which happens more often than I would normally expect, but that is because I train 2 of my friends. My friends and I are adamant about having good form, so if there is any issue with form we discuss it. I have also had a few people come up to me since I wear lifting shoes and I have ok numbers, so people figured I have some kind of knowledgeable base. So at the very least, I have a lot of people fooled
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When I first started working out at the gym and probably several years afterwards, I used to think that those who give random pieces of tips and advices on the workout I’m doing are just obnoxious cocky and annoying individuals.
This is in regards to those people who look the part in knowing their *kitten* and having the results to prove it.
Honestly, I wish someone had stepped in and gave their tips and tricks when I first started training, it would have filled me in on a lot of stuff I used to do wrong, the injuries I didn’t need to suffer and the setbacks in weight lost that I didn’t know until I started being open about receiving advice.
The most likely cause in my first response to individuals who give unsolicited advice is most likely due to my insecurities and self consciousness about myself just trying to put up a front and assuming that every individual out there is an *kitten* telling me what to do and how to do it, when in reality, they were simply trying to help in making sure I’m doing things properly and effectively in regards to nutrition and training.
I also partly feel that it is just a social norm for anyone who has only begun their fitness journey to react to those unsolicited but most likely helpful advice.
What do you think would be a good practice or approach to be able to help beginner gym goers in offering helpful tips without making them think you’re just a cocky *kitten* thinking their hot *kitten*?
Become a personal trainer and be qualified, hired and paid to do it.
I don't offer tips to anybody in the gym unless specifically asked. I'm there for my workout and what they do isn't my concern unless they're endangering other people in the gym - at which point I'd tell the gym staff about it and let them handle it.
There are a lot of people in gyms everywhere who have succeeded in spite of what they've done rather than because of what they've done, so "looking the part" doesn't always mean the advice they offer will be worth anything. Maybe they know their stuff, or maybe they just have great genetics and/or take a lot of drugs.
All of that^^5 -
When I first started at my gym, everyone was very friendly and gave me lots of good advice, so as I became more experienced I wanted to pass it forward, but found that dudes do not want to hear from a "girl" that they are using bad form or even how to use the equipment properly. So now I keep my mouth shut.7
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If you aren't my trainer, I don't want or need your advice. That might sound harsh, but if you aren't a professional should you really be advising people in the gym? If your advice is bad, it could get people hurt.10
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What kind of advice do you want to give people? Have you got examples?1
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I would not actively tell someone has bad/incorrect form; there are a ton of exercise variations & what looks like bad form may be an intentional variation or isolation. If someone asks, you tell...had one guy ask me how to not hit the glutes with the barbell when doing a barbell hack squat (all in the grip width).
There are instances when people just do insane lifts (in which you might want to inform gym personell)...had this old guy deadlifting like 405lbs falling over repeatedly (very stubborn)1 -
If I see someone I don't really know doing something immediately dangerous such as deadlifting with a rounded back I might say something, casually, with a smile. I haven't had trouble being a female giving advice to guys, the guys seem flattered by the attention.
Apart from that specific circumstance I think the best approach is to get to know people and just talk to them. If you know each other well enough to talk about training, good, if not, probably best to mind your own business.3 -
I have only once offered to give advice to someone rowing improperly next to me.
My initial question was: "Has anyone given you any instruction on how to use the rower?" The answer was "no" and my second question was: "Would you like to receive some suggestions?"
The answer was "yes" and I proceeded to give the person a basic tutorial on form and technique, including a discussion of the drag factor and stroke rate. Things the person said they never knew b4. If the answer was no, I would have minded my own business.
I was thanked for the instruction given but have never done it again, even though seeing many people who fo not know how to row properly, because I no longer use the rowers at my gym and the opportunity has never arisen again.
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The only times I really ever give unsolicited advice at the gym is when a person looks really lost and confused. And then I ask first, "Excuse me, would you like a little help, or are you just thinking about something else?" Generally they laugh and say "yes please", or "no thanks, just mentally cursing my boss, haha."10
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I only give advice if someone looks lost or confused or asks me. Or if someone is doing something stupid... usually some kids who walk up to a bar that's been left heavy loaded and they just think to try press it when it's their first time in a gym etc... gonna end badly!!
There's a guy in our gym who day in day out will tell people they're doing stuff wrong, bad form blah blah blah and he drives all the regulars mad. He's quite old, scrawny guy but decides to tell people how to train. He doesn't even ask anything about circumstances, he just criticises you and talks at you.0 -
I'm a qualified gym instructor, even I wouldn't approach anyone. Now, if I'm asked sure I would point at the right direction. The other day I saw a newbie doing concentration curls in a way I never seen before. I didn't say anything. If I did he would have gotten embarrassed, and never to return.3
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Dear Lord above, just witnessed the worst form during two guys attempting to deadlift as much as possible. I've stopped myself going over to say 'best way to snap city guys' 4
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When I started in the gym I told one of the staff what I wanted and asked her to show me how to use the machines.
I know of 2 that she didn’t show me how to use properly.
One I had seen other people use differently and questioned her on it and she was like ‘yeah you can use it that way’ (but still didn’t show me how to adjust for left/right).
the second, months later, one of the lads I was sharing the machine with corrected it (whilst I was using it). I was grateful for his advice. I probably wouldn’t have done any damage, but I doubt it was too effective either.
I like the suggestion that you ask people first if they’ve been shown how to use the machine as it at least opens the door to a conversation.0 -
When I first started working out at the gym and probably several years afterwards, I used to think that those who give random pieces of tips and advices on the workout I’m doing are just obnoxious cocky and annoying individuals.
This is in regards to those people who look the part in knowing their *kitten* and having the results to prove it.
Honestly, I wish someone had stepped in and gave their tips and tricks when I first started training, it would have filled me in on a lot of stuff I used to do wrong, the injuries I didn’t need to suffer and the setbacks in weight lost that I didn’t know until I started being open about receiving advice.
The most likely cause in my first response to individuals who give unsolicited advice is most likely due to my insecurities and self consciousness about myself just trying to put up a front and assuming that every individual out there is an *kitten* telling me what to do and how to do it, when in reality, they were simply trying to help in making sure I’m doing things properly and effectively in regards to nutrition and training.
I also partly feel that it is just a social norm for anyone who has only begun their fitness journey to react to those unsolicited but most likely helpful advice.
What do you think would be a good practice or approach to be able to help beginner gym goers in offering helpful tips without making them think you’re just a cocky *kitten* thinking their hot *kitten*?
Problem is that people who give advice at the gym aren't always right. I remember being told when I first started lifting that to build muscles you have to eat a lot of food. The person wasn't entirely wrong, but the person who told me didn't bother me to explain about lean bulking and dirty bulking. I figured eating a *kitten* ton of food would do the job simply because a bro at my gym told me to eat a lot of food. I accumulated a lot of fat in my first bulk, it took me 5 months to get lean again.3 -
does it count as advice when i saw a girl repeatedly struggling to find out how to lift the bench so i showed her how lol. She kept spinning the knob off vs pulling the knob poor girl would then sit down and do weird thigns with the bench to try and play it off lol she looked so uncomfortable 5
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A trainer at my gym many years ago told me that I shouldn't deadlift as it was bad for the back. Solid advice!4
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Silkysausage wrote: »
Oh hey you're right, I bet that deadlifting is bad in some circumstances and for some people, but "don't deadlift" is poor blanket advice.
Good luck with your SI joint issues, I had a chiro that told me my SI joint was bad but (and I'm not sure this is a good thing) I haven't let that stop me!1 -
There's an ethical side to this as well. It's not what they know, It's what they do with it.0
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I would say no because you don't know anything about their training goals or why they're doing things in a certain way. I often might do things that look odd at the gym but it's because I'm targetting particular muscles whilst sometimes having to adapt to the equipment that I have (if you load up the leg curl machine to more than your bodyweight it works great as a bench for back extensions)2
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I don't want anyone to talk to me at the gym. I'm doing my own thing, minding my own business and I expect others to mind theirs. If I need help I always ask a trainer working at the gym.0
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The only times I really ever give unsolicited advice at the gym is when a person looks really lost and confused. And then I ask first, "Excuse me, would you like a little help, or are you just thinking about something else?" Generally they laugh and say "yes please", or "no thanks, just mentally cursing my boss, haha."
Geez I WISH you were at my gym. I'm still new and sometimes just get confused and awkward and feel stupid lol.
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I wish everyone would just settle the *kitten* down when it comes to gym advice. Give it, or don't. Accept it or don't. Chances are, if I see you in the gym and we start talking form, programming, or nutrition, there is a good bet I am going to know way more than you do. Do I really care if you accept the advice I give? No, go ruin yourself. Have at it. Be my guest.
Sometimes its nice to be friendly in the gym and talk shop, which is why I am happy I either train at home, or at a facility for other powerlifters where we know that the free exchange of information (coaching each other up) can only make us stronger.6 -
giantrobot_powerlifting wrote: »I wish everyone would just settle the *kitten* down when it comes to gym advice. Give it, or don't. Accept it or don't. Chances are, if I see you in the gym and we start talking form, programming, or nutrition, there is a good bet I am going to know way more than you do. Do I really care if you accept the advice I give? No, go ruin yourself. Have at it. Be my guest.
Sometimes its nice to be friendly in the gym and talk shop, which is why I am happy I either train at home, or at a facility for other powerlifters where we know that the free exchange of information (coaching each other up) can only make us stronger.
What does "kitten" mean in this discussion?
Never mind, I just figured it out. MFP's profanity filter.4 -
Not all lifters have good advice, same as not all trainers know what they are doing, same as advice from people on here. If you're not smart enough to determine what is good advice and what isn't then what good is the advice. Do what you want, if it makes you feel good to offer advice. Doesn't mean they'll listen and may be offended. You know how people are today.1
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I wouldn't offer unsolicited advice. It would make most people feel more foolish I think. Generally speaking from what I see most gym goers I see are a lot more switched on and knowledgeable than when I started training in the 90s.
That said there are always some people you just wish you could "help".
There's a guy I see every morning. This is his complete routine everyday at 5am:
1. He swings two dumbells like he's a town crier all body movement almost no biceps,
2. Next he holds two dumbbells in front of his chin and does this weird movement where he contracts his shoulders so they end up by his ears,
3. He climbs into the inverted sit-up station and just moves his head up and down (no crunch at all)
4. He climbs on a stationary bike and reads a newspaper while slow turning his legs.
I've no idea what his goals are or his background is but for all his dedication getting his *kitten* out of bed every morning I wish he'd do himself a favour!
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I give out advice all the time. But then again, it's my profession and helps to get more clientele.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Hawaiian_Iceberg wrote: »I wouldn't offer unsolicited advice. It would make most people feel more foolish I think. Generally speaking from what I see most gym goers I see are a lot more switched on and knowledgeable than when I started training in the 90s.
That said there are always some people you just wish you could "help".
There's a guy I see every morning. This is his complete routine everyday at 5am:
1. He swings two dumbells like he's a town crier all body movement almost no biceps,
2. Next he holds two dumbbells in front of his chin and does this weird movement where he contracts his shoulders so they end up by his ears,
3. He climbs into the inverted sit-up station and just moves his head up and down (no crunch at all)
4. He climbs on a stationary bike and reads a newspaper while slow turning his legs.
I've no idea what his goals are or his background is but for all his dedication getting his *kitten* out of bed every morning I wish he'd do himself a favour!
You just described 90% of the patrons at my gym.
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