My Dr.. NO HELP!

McRebecca
McRebecca Posts: 72
edited October 1 in Health and Weight Loss
I saw my Dr. last month because im not sleeping well and I am gaining weight slowly and surely...

Back story... I am 37. 7 years ago I weighed 252 lbs, I am 5'4. I lost 70lbs in 4 months and maintained that for 6 years. in 2008 I finally lost the last 15lbs to bring me to 162. I "became" pregnant in June 2009 and dropped another 30lbs while pregnant (typical for me) Had baby Feb 2010. Today I weigh 183. So I have gained 50 lbs after having her which again seems to be typical for me after giving birth..

So back to the dr... I told him whats going on.. and my concerns.. he asked about my family history and such.. put his hand on my knee and said be thankfully you are healthy, enjoy your life "PLEASANTLY PLUMP" and stop trying to be Cindy Crawford... GASP! A. I am not trying to be her (I am only 5'4") B. I am concerned about the middle fat (baby belly) attacking my heart one day. C. I realize I am HEALTHY and I eat right.. But why should I accept being uncomfortable... He says because my mother is heavy middled and my "father" is a tubby tubby that I should be thankful I am a healthy size and appearance..

Is it just me? I feel like he is totally off base with my "desire" to be healthier... He claims I will spin my wheels attempting to be "skinnier" and that I need to accept my chub...

I eat well.. I exercise pretty much daily.. I know I am getting older daily... I have GREAT legs... a "belly" no butt and big boobs!! HELP!
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Replies

  • brattyworm
    brattyworm Posts: 2,137 Member
    my first thought... find a new doctor and maybe get with a nutrionist.
  • JessicaMarie9382
    JessicaMarie9382 Posts: 197
    OMG, I'm SHOCKED! I have absolutely NO words except, WTF?!
  • stephaniehope
    stephaniehope Posts: 23 Member
    I agree, find a different doctor and get another opinion...
  • ShandiH
    ShandiH Posts: 232 Member
    my first thought... find a new doctor and maybe get with a nutrionist.

    Agreed! I've learned that doctors have their own biased opinions. Find someone who will help you not brush your concern away. Good luck!
  • champagne1962
    champagne1962 Posts: 7
    Definitely find a new doctor.
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    I don't know, but you can be healthy and somewhat overweight. People who are overweight and are unhealthy, do poorly on diagnostic tests. If you're doing well on all of those, but overweight, your belly fat might not be an issue. Your doctor is looking at your health. Your waist is only 1 indicator of your health and your belly fat cannot attack your heart if you have no other nasties other than just belly fat.

    Congrats though, your doc is telling you, "You're fine. Possibly overweight(I don't know your weight), but healthy."

    This is a good thing.

    EDIT: He's also telling you that losing weight, for you, might not actually have any health benefit.

    The problem is that people assume that the more weight they lose, the healthier they are. And, that's just not true.

    After awhile, it is more for the sake of looking good.
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
    Kick him to the curb...you should also tell him why in a polite but firm fashion as well. Doctors need to know why they are FIRED just like anyone else. Nutritionist is a great idea...and you are right you do not have to accept being uncomfortable. Keep at it. PS Im totally jealous of you losing weight being preg, im not sure I would stop having kids...LOL.
  • lb7970
    lb7970 Posts: 79 Member
    Sounds like you might want to go see a different doctor. I switched doctors after mine told me to join Nutrasystem because I had gained 30 pounds in 1 1/2 years while still maintaining healthy eating and exercising daily, sometimes twice a day trying to lose the weight. I went to another Doctor and requested that she have my Thyroid checked and have recently started taking medication for low thyroid. So listen to your body. Nobody knows it better than you. If you feel like something is wrong, seek another doctor. Maybe a woman this time.
  • marquesajen
    marquesajen Posts: 641
    Switch docs perhaps?
  • diane423
    diane423 Posts: 48
    So funny cause you just described me.... I also have alot of belly fat which is so annoying. I have a fatty liver and was told to lose weight to try and reverse this disorder.. I spoke to my DR and he said oh just eat 3 cups of yogurt aday and some fruit... WTF thanks Doc ur a great help.. Im a RN and teaching healthy diets to patients was apart of my everyday routine.. Ughhh if i could just practice what i preach... Well i think increasing your cardio and really limiting fat intake will help the belly area . Good luck
  • soccermum75
    soccermum75 Posts: 588 Member
    what kind of doctor is that? find a new one. i don't understand how he could even put down any attempt to lose weight.
  • 2dayirun4me
    2dayirun4me Posts: 336 Member
    I agree with the others on here that you should find another Dr. I have also tried to talk to my Dr. about my weight and the response i got was we think you look fine. this is not acceptable!!! my weight is also in the mid section and i hate it!! the rest of me I'm happy with. i wasn't looking for a magic pill all i wanted was advice. anyway good luck in your decision and feel free to ad me as a friend we can all use the help.
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    I have also tried to talk to my Dr. about my weight and the response i got was we think you look fine. this is not acceptable!!! my weight is also in the mid section and i hate it!! the rest of me I'm happy with. i wasn't looking for a magic pill all i wanted was advice.

    Seriously though, they gave you advice. Medical advice.

    Your looks, and that you don't like having fat around the middle, is not what your doctor is concerned about.

    If you want someone to help you lose weight regardless, go to a nutritionist and get a personal trainer.
  • McRebecca
    McRebecca Posts: 72
    Kick him to the curb...you should also tell him why in a polite but firm fashion as well. Doctors need to know why they are FIRED just like anyone else. Nutritionist is a great idea...and you are right you do not have to accept being uncomfortable. Keep at it. PS Im totally jealous of you losing weight being preg, im not sure I would stop having kids...LOL.

    LOL.. problem is AFTER I have babies I gain what I lost and a little more.. just by doing nothing... kinda sucks actually..
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    Lastly, there are some doctors that are just crappy and insensitive. But I don't honestly think that's what's going on here.

    Sometimes, we treat our doctors like they are our lackies, that have to help us see through whatever outcome WE see fit. And yes, you can and have the right to do what you want to your body. But they are not our lackies. They have their own opinions, hopefully based on their medical knowledge. And their opinions, don't have to fit ours. Sure, you can find a doctor that echoes your opinion. But, you shouldn't just expect your doctor to support your decisions if theirs are based in medical fact and don't resonate with you.

    As one person said, tell them why they lost a patient....

    I want to be a doctor some day. Sports medicine. And if a patient came to me and told me that I lost them because I gave them medically based advice that didn't resonate with them... honestly, I would feel glad that I had just dodged a bullet with a patient who didn't trust me and who might prove to be difficult in the future.

    Yes, customer service. However, the patient/doctor relationship has a two way street of respect.
  • DropsOJupiter
    DropsOJupiter Posts: 131
    How patronizing of your doctor. Given that he wasn't LISTENING to you, I'd find one that would. You pay them for their service and knowledge, not to have your concerns brushed off. I'm with the previous posters regards finding a doctor that LISTENS to you and what you see as your health needs. And no, I don't think you were treating him like a lackey.....I think he was just a patronizing jerk. Good luck!
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    How patronizing of your doctor. Given that he wasn't LISTENING to you, I'd find one that would. You pay them for their service and knowledge, not to have your concerns brushed off. I'm with the previous posters regards finding a doctor that LISTENS to you and what you see as your health needs. And no, I don't think you were treating him like a lackey.....I think he was just a patronizing jerk. Good luck!

    What did he not listen to her about? It sounds as though she saw the belly fat as something detrimental to her health. Medically, he does not. And since it is not a medical issue, what is it, other than being uncomfortable about the way she looks?
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Doctors (and dentists) are a dime a dozen. Find a better one.
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    my first thought... find a new doctor and maybe get with a nutrionist.
    This!
  • DropsOJupiter
    DropsOJupiter Posts: 131
    How patronizing of your doctor. Given that he wasn't LISTENING to you, I'd find one that would. You pay them for their service and knowledge, not to have your concerns brushed off. I'm with the previous posters regards finding a doctor that LISTENS to you and what you see as your health needs. And no, I don't think you were treating him like a lackey.....I think he was just a patronizing jerk. Good luck!

    What did he not listen to her about? It sounds as though she saw the belly fat as something detrimental to her health. Medically, he does not. And since it is not a medical issue, what is it, other than being uncomfortable about the way she looks?

    Hello, bunches. In my opinion, she expressed health concerns regarding her stomach fat. While he gave her a pat on the knee, repeated to her the family physiology and told her to get over it, he did nothing to give her alternatives she might explore, like exercise. I don't expect any professional to wave a magic wand, but I certainly don't expect them to be patronizing as was he.

    I see you would like to be a physician. Having inspected health care facilities and physician for decades for care issues, I do hope you develop a "bed-side manner" that appeared to elude her physician, i.e, you treat the total patient not just the presenting medical/non-medical problem and are able to communicate in a civil, respectful manner.

    Have a good day!
  • melsinct
    melsinct Posts: 3,512 Member
    Doctors are people too. Some suck at their job, others don't. Your doctor sucks at his job, find a new one.
  • brit49
    brit49 Posts: 461 Member
    Find a new doctor!!!
  • Michelle_M2002
    Michelle_M2002 Posts: 301 Member
    Find a new doctor. Get a few personal training sessions at the gym, and talk to a nutritionist!

    Your doctor is an idiot.

    God bless!
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member

    Hello, bunches. In my opinion, she expressed health concerns regarding her stomach fat. While he gave her a pat on the knee, repeated to her the family physiology and told her to get over it, he did nothing to give her alternatives she might explore, like exercise. I don't expect any professional to wave a magic wand, but I certainly don't expect them to be patronizing as was he.

    I see you would like to be a physician. Having inspected health care facilities and physician for decades for care issues, I do hope you develop a "bed-side manner" that appeared to elude her physician, i.e, you treat the total patient not just the presenting medical/non-medical problem and are able to communicate in a civil, respectful manner.

    Have a good day!

    We're going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

    He's not a nutritionist. He's not a personal trainer. He maybe, could have recommended that she see one, but he has to go along with the training and the knowledge he has. Just because you have an MD after your name does not mean you have all of this information at your fingertips, what the best exercises are, exactly how to restrict her diet. If he was a GP, he used what he had. And that was that, she is a healthy gal, who has no health related issue to worry about. He tried to get her to not worry, because he sees her as worrying needlessly. We see him pointing at her because he sees her issue as a visual one, but not what he was actually trying to tell her.
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    I had a doctor who didn't quite understand what I was getting at once. Her answer seemed off to me as well. And then I reiterated what I meant and expressed more of my concern. When she got it, her answer changed and I got the information I was looking for. We have to remember, we're only hearing one side of a patient/doctor interaction. We have to advocate for ourselves.

    I've shadowed before, been in the doctor's lounge and had the opportunity to hear all about patient/doctor interaction before, from the doctor's perspective. Most of them come from the spirit of caring. Many of the reflections of patients I've seen come from some very frustrated doctors.
  • mountainmare
    mountainmare Posts: 294 Member
    You are not alone. The same thing happened to me (and I am 5'4" and weighed in at 183). My bloodwork was great and BP normal etc etc. I knew I was obese, but I live in an area where I look skinny compared to everyone else--including everyone in the Drs office.
    I just control of my life on my own. GPs don't seem to care --or they are not trained--about preventative medicine. It seems easier for them to wait until there is a problem, then the drug reps tell them which pills to have you take.
  • McRebecca
    McRebecca Posts: 72
    I have also tried to talk to my Dr. about my weight and the response i got was we think you look fine. this is not acceptable!!! my weight is also in the mid section and i hate it!! the rest of me I'm happy with. i wasn't looking for a magic pill all i wanted was advice.

    Seriously though, they gave you advice. Medical advice.

    Your looks, and that you don't like having fat around the middle, is not what your doctor is concerned about.

    If you want someone to help you lose weight regardless, go to a nutritionist and get a personal trainer.

    I was initially concerned because BOTH my mother and father are severly diabetic and my mom has heart disease... We are built the same.. chicken legs.. no butt.. boobs forever and a fatty mid section... I have had 3 children and at 37 I am healthy without medical issues and VERY thankful... I do have a few pounds to lose... And like most women always interested in the vanity portion...

    I do accept that this particular Dr. PERSONALLY feels as though I am "Just fine" but when a big boobed girl (40DDD) can see belly fat above her waist band and under her boobs.. she has some work to do... Today I am 183.. at 5'4" I have at LEAST 30lbs to lose..
  • amy_36
    amy_36 Posts: 421 Member
    I am one of her family members and when your mother has had 3 heart attacks and you are sharing her body type....you get concerned....change docs Rebecca! See if you can get a referral to a nutritionist also. You might need to change your macro nutrients.....eat more fiber, less carbs(including non bread carbs, etc) Who knows but they can help you with that.
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    I would assume that the doctor didn't come out of nowhere with a healthy diagnois. If they did, then, they suck. However, if they ran diagnostics and all of those came out looking beautiful, then she can be healthy and thicker. The fat on your body, in and of itself, is not the problem. It is a risk factor, but it is not THE problem.

    There are a lot of VERY healthy overweight people.
  • McRebecca
    McRebecca Posts: 72
    I think the thing that was most unsettling to me is that he brushed it off as if I was vain.. Im not a vain person and my biggest concern is developing health issues.. I know they don't happen overnight and I would like to thwart off the possibilities of any diseases or issues starting sooner than my due time...

    He WAS a new dr. for me and I won't be going back for obvious reasons.. But I also wanted to reassure myself that I wasn't just running away becuase he suggested I enjoy my flab...

    I appreciate all the responses and the hopeful Doc giving another prespective. I do believe this particular Doc is set in his ways accepts what life gives him and is more of an in and out (of the office) Doc...
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