Best One Liners
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In breaking news scientists have discovered a food that reduced women’s sex drive by 90%. It’s called Wedding cake0
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What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef0
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My resume is just a list of things I hope I never get asked to do2
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Do you talk to your wife after sex? Yes if I can find my phone0
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Yes there are plenty of fish in the sea but you are the only one I want to catch and mount0
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Time to abort, Fred6
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Failure to launch huh?0
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Guess I’ll just stick to entering my calories on here1
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Honey did I gain weight? Why no babe the room is smaller0
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so I am guessing you don't have a very happy marriage, huh?1
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Police were called to a daycare where a 4 year old was resisting a rest.1
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4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »so I am guessing you don't have a very happy marriage, huh?
Yeah, his wife told him to quit imitating a flamingo so he had to put his foot down.2 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »so I am guessing you don't have a very happy marriage, huh?
No it’s ok I just like jokes but I think I need to make sure they are appropriate and not offensive. I’ve been warned0 -
The best one is still Calvin Coolidge in reply to a woman who said, "I bet I can make you say three words."
"You lose".0 -
huntersvonnegut wrote: »Police were called to a daycare where a 4 year old was resisting a rest.
Dang, I laughed at that.
.... pretty embarrassing.3 -
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Maid_of_Mischief1 wrote: ».
Pfft.... good enough0 -
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother.1
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"Knickerbocker Glory, sir? "
"Well, I do get a certain amount of freedom in these pants, yes..."0 -
huntersvonnegut wrote: »A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother.
This is brilliant.0 -
Little boy blue - he needed the money0
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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put 'U' and 'I' together!0
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I went shopping for camouflage underwear today....but couldn’t find any.1
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Are you a can of biscuits? Because I wanna bang you on the kitchen counter.3
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