Is this a bad reason to want to lose weight?

NitaCeeCee
NitaCeeCee Posts: 55
edited October 1 in Health and Weight Loss
OK so I'm extremely obese at the moment. I never used to be. In fact I was always quite slim. Curvy but slim, but slowly the weight crept on. I know the health implications of being overweight as I am experiencing some of them at the moment, but what I really want is someone to cuddle and love me :cry:

I know its sad but I hate being that girl that gets ignored when I'm out with people. Men almost seem to look through me like I'm a sheet of glass sometimes and I know its not the correct thing to aim for, but I just want a hug......


feel a bit embarrassed about writing that now lol :blushing:
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Replies

  • pricetm83
    pricetm83 Posts: 49
    Dont be embarrassed. We've ALL felt that way. I know that glass feeling and its so painful. Virtual hug :)
  • hm_day
    hm_day Posts: 857 Member
    I don't think that's a bad reason at all. You need to feel good about yourself before you let someone else in, and losing the weight is the first step. Good luck!
  • ksutte
    ksutte Posts: 76 Member
    I don't think so, everyone needs some lovin'!!
  • natersmama
    natersmama Posts: 157
    dont be embarrassed!! we all have reasons for wanting to lose weight. being attractive is probably one of everybody's reasons. but you should want to look good and feel good for yourself as well. good luck on your journey! =)
  • Thechiplover
    Thechiplover Posts: 118
    Dont be embarresed about it, I think anything that makes you want to loose weight has got to be good, If it gets you to a point in your life where your healthy, fit and get yerself a few cuddles then i say go for it
  • cabul3
    cabul3 Posts: 210 Member
    ANY reason is a valid one, since it's personally your weight loss motivator!

    my reason? my boyfriend's ex wife was always significantly heavier than me....until she recently lost like 40 lbs and is now my size!! that's my main motivator, to lose enough weight to stay way slimmer than her. sounds bad/vain/jealous, but it's TRUE!
  • Kristy144
    Kristy144 Posts: 166
    That is nothing to be embarassed about at all and its a great reason to loose weigh as well. Your very pretty! :)
  • IamJustSanie
    IamJustSanie Posts: 93 Member
    It doesn't matter what your reasons are, the fact remains that u have taken the first step to better yourself.
  • tilaisabel
    tilaisabel Posts: 31
    Nothing to be embarrassed about! *hug*. We all have a natural desire to want to share our lives with someone special and a great motivation should always be that we should be feeling our best in order to give the best. That is how I look at it. If I am healthy and feeling well (which in turn will reflect physically on its own) I will be able to share more with that certain someone. I wish you lots of success and luck on your weight loss journey! :-)
  • CarolynB38
    CarolynB38 Posts: 553 Member
    You're so pretty! Those men don't know what they are missing! You go for it girl! Do what makes you happy, but it's their loss if they're not noticing you.
  • sarahsmom1
    sarahsmom1 Posts: 1,501 Member
    I think any reason is a good reason if it gets you motivated to get healthy and lots of hugs
  • Chunkabutt83
    Chunkabutt83 Posts: 461
    you should do it for yourself, but if you find someone one in the meantime then its an extra plus!!!
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
    Not a bad reason at all. It sucks to feel that way!
  • Jenlwb
    Jenlwb Posts: 682 Member
    Sounds reasonable! To be in a healthy relationship and have someone love you, first you need to love YOURSELF- and if you don't, at your current weight, then get healthy! This is the place to do it too.
  • nygiantschick
    nygiantschick Posts: 289 Member
    I don't think it's a bad reason, it just should not be your PRIMARY reason. Your health and wellness should be the primary reasons (my opinion) but the hugs and attention are a great CLOSE 2nd!!!! Someone should really accept you for who you are- starting with you first. The love you have for yourself should drive your passion to improve yourself. Then others will see that in you and love those qualities too (and the way you look in your jeans will help too LOL)....stay focused- you can do it!!!
  • NitaCeeCee
    NitaCeeCee Posts: 55
    Thanks everyone. I do feel better ((((virtual higs to you all))))

    I just don't wanna think of myself as being shallow in any way but I suppose it must be a mental thing. Maybe I don't think of myself highly enough yet and maybe I'm giving off a negative vibe to guys.......?

    I don't know but I just miss feeling 'attractive'
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
    lots of men like bigger women, so my guess is that because you're uncomfortable with your weight (and therefore not confident), that is more the problem than the weight itself.

    that's not to say you shouldn't lose weight, but just let it be known that plenty of men enjoy the "cushion" of heavy women. any decent man would want you to be you, not someone he wants you to be.

    lose weight because it's good for you; don't lose weight to attract a man.
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
    You're not alone. I'm happily married now, but I could have written the same post 12 years ago. Good luck!
  • shellybarbal
    shellybarbal Posts: 42
    You want to be healthy and like what you see when you look in the mirror; and like most people, you want others to like what they see when they look at you. That's natural. The point is, you have more than one reason for wanting to lose weight and you are taking those steps to do so. Be proud of yourself for that. You will find that the more weight you lose, the more confident you will become. It will become more about you, and less about others (I know because I used to be 65lbs heavier than I am now).
  • Heatherbelle_87
    Heatherbelle_87 Posts: 1,078 Member
    I started mine to find ME, the OLD ME that had guys hanging all over her and was never single.... so yeah its a good reason! lol
  • ♥_Ellybean_♥
    ♥_Ellybean_♥ Posts: 1,646 Member
    I think what you will find is well losing weight your gonna start having more confidence and men will be more attracted to you... as well as you will start loving yourself, and may learn a new reason to lose weight.
  • Phoenix1401
    Phoenix1401 Posts: 711 Member
    I understand your pain. Men tell me I just have a pretty face. Or they ask me out like its a joke. Or they just want sleep with me just because im a big black girl. :(
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
    There's nothing bad about wanting to be treated with respect (and love). Just remember that people deserve respect and love for who they are on the inside, regardless of what they look like or how much they weigh. When you have lost all the excess weight (you CAN do it, it WILL happen!!), just make sure you find someone who loves you for who you are on the inside!
  • NitaCeeCee
    NitaCeeCee Posts: 55
    I don't think it's a bad reason, it just should not be your PRIMARY reason. Your health and wellness should be the primary reasons (my opinion) but the hugs and attention are a great CLOSE 2nd!!!! Someone should really accept you for who you are- starting with you first. The love you have for yourself should drive your passion to improve yourself. Then others will see that in you and love those qualities too (and the way you look in your jeans will help too LOL)....stay focused- you can do it!!!


    thank you. I may have to copy this down and read it when I'm feeling crap lol
  • thebunnies
    thebunnies Posts: 168
    everything leads back to just wanting to feel great about yourself.. no reason is a stupid or 'bad' reason. getting in shape will make you healthier in more ways than just physically. :)
  • Heatherbelle_87
    Heatherbelle_87 Posts: 1,078 Member
    I will say part of my attractiveness was explained to me by an ex and close male frien that I was always CONFIDENT back then, and when Im confident at any weight Im more attractive
  • Zeromilediet
    Zeromilediet Posts: 787 Member
    No matter the reason ... Everyone comes to a place of making a change for his or her own reason. Here's a virtual hug (((H)))

    You go girl, and be all you can be! (as they say!)
  • 1goodymom67
    1goodymom67 Posts: 125
    NO, you should not be embarraseed. YOu have to start somewhere and you are starting. YOU CAN DO IT!!
  • cutie2b
    cutie2b Posts: 194 Member
    I feel that way too! So you are not alone. {{{{HUGS}}}}
  • loopylinny
    loopylinny Posts: 4
    Any reason is a good one as long as it makes you decide to make that positive change to your lifestyle!
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