My mom died on Monday...
daloverlyme
Posts: 583 Member
My mom died, and I am struggling right now. She was pretty young. I won't lie... I don't want to do this right now... I feel like I have no reason to continue trying. I am lost. I really could use some motivation and support. I am down 80 lbs so far but have gained 3 back. I am so off track.
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Replies
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Hugs to you. I cannot imagine being in your shoes. I can feel the love you have for your mom. Be kind kind to yourself and I hope you’re able to find comfort. 80lbs is an amazing accomplishment. Your mom must’ve been so proud of you. Keep making her proud.4
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You can still do this! Your mom would be proud. What is your favorite thing about your mom that you want us to know her by? What is her name? Fave color? That time she caught you...and just laughed...share her life.6
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Wow, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll keep you in my prayers. Don't give up on this journey though...it sounds like you've been working really hard. I bet your mom would want you to keep pushing on. You can still do it...even if it looks and feels different without your mom.5
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I'm so sorry sweetheart! Hugs! Losing a parent is tough.1
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It is very hard to deal with a death of a parent. When my mom died I pretty much cried every day for a year. Then it got better over time. I found routine to be helpful.
Maybe focus on maintaining and finding non-food ways to deal with your emotions. Listen to music, write, gardening, exercise, meditation, grief support group/ therapy, art, etc.
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"I'm sorry" seems so inadequate at a time like this . . . . but I truly am, and feel your pain. My mom died young, too, I was only 17. I am 55 now. 80 lbs. is an amazing accomplishment. When you are able, keep pushing forward with your weight loss/fitness goals. Do it for you, and your health. It's hard to be motivated when you are grieving. We're hear to help cheer you on when you are ready.6
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Allow yourself time to grieve. As suggested above, look for non-food methods to deal with the inevitable emotions. Look at your son and remember the struggle you went through to have him and how far you've come to be healthy for him. You want to keep that progress and, in time, make more so you can be there for him.5 -
I'm sorry for your loss. I recently lost my father, he was a disabled veteran.
We had a wonderful service. He served in two branches of the military. Marines and Army. I live in a small community so people pulled their vehicles over and pedestrians removed their hats as we drove by. We had the Marines, Army and U.S. flags on all of the vehicles driving out to the cemetery. The Marines and Army were there and every EMT, police and sheriff department, too. We sent my father out with three volleys, the gun salute, taps and other music. I am so proud of my father.
Losing our parents is one of the most difficult things we will ever go through. My mother and I held his hands for 10 hours before he passed. He was alert and no matter how strong or prepared we think we are, it still knocks the wind right out of you. You're numb for a few weeks. That's protection for your heart.
On the first part of your weight releasing journey, you had your dear mother with you. I hope you have your father and other loved ones to come around you. We need connection with others.
The true essence of a grape is revealed when it's squeezed...like a fine wine.
Do not be deterred on your journey. Your mother wouldn't want that. Continue on with your positive food management plan. I don't call it dieting.
Continuing to look after yourself is the key to your healing. I have come to learn the more difficult things are in life the healthier we need to become. The trickle down effect of taking care of yourself means you'll have more energy to take care of your mother's business and pick up all of the pieces for your family.
We build our metabolisms by eating right. The weight takes care of itself. It's all about having a Good-Will Bank for ourselves. If we compromise our goodwill towards self we run on empty. Good food fixes everything. What other choice do we have right now.
I offer you a hand to get back up on your feet and fight with everything you've got. Continue on with your pathway to healing. The sky is not the limit for you and it never was. Much Love.9 -
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So sorry for your loss... Cannot even begin to imagine your pain...1
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I'm so very sorry. Oh sweetie, you are going through so much sadness right now. It is all probably very surreal at this point. My mom passed away 6.5 years ago and it was the toughest time in my life. Some days I didn't even think I wanted to get out of bed but I had two very young kids to look after. It actually helped to not completely get swallowed up in my grief. Just take it one day, one moment at a time. I wish I could take away your pain for you. I will pray for you. God helped me get through my grief. (((Hugs)))3
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Praying with you...May Jesus give you comfort during this very difficult time.0
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I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my own mother when I was 25, and it's a very difficult thing to get through, but you can and you will. Take the time you need to grieve, but please do not give up on yourself and how far you have come. I am sure your mom was very proud of you!1
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I am so, so sorry for your loss!1
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In January, my mum passed away as well. She, too, was quite young. She had been signed up to run a half marathon in March which I ran in her place, but after that, I just completely stopped taking care of myself. I've finally started doing exercise again and looking after what I eat, but honestly, the immediate effect was that it just didn't matter. You need to take some time for yourself and just concentrate on your emotions. All you can do is try to keep taking care of your body, but don't put too much pressure on to be perfect during this time. Take a few weeks to process everything and then if you feel ready it will be time to continue your journey. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I send you all the love in the world 3
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I'm so sorry1
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I'm so sorry...Give yourself a little time to get through the next few weeks. This is a very rough time. You will feel better again, in time. Take the time to grieve and to remember and to heal. When I lost my dad a year ago, I gained a little back, and I lost it again. 3 lbs is a drop in the bucket considering how much you've lost. Invest in your health now so that you can live a long, healthy life. I'm pretty sure that would make your mom happy. Hugs.1
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I'm so sorry.. Lost my mom 7 years ago went into a deep depression stopped working out didnt care ate like *kitten* gained a ton of weight then I got breast cancer dealt with that... Now I'm back on track..3
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I know what you are going through. I lost my mom a few years ago and I still have bad days, although it does get easier with time. I am so so sorry that you are having to go through this.
I also gained weight when I lost her. Food was comforting. But it didn't bring her back to me. Try to stay on track on the days you have energy for it, and be gentle with yourself on days you struggle. Your mom would want you to be happy, whatever that means to you.3 -
Do it for your mom.4
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I am very sorry for your loss {{ }} Losing your mother is one of the hardest losses anyone has to cope with. Remember all the good times and love you have for each other. There will be hard days, but it truly does get better. Try to concentrate on continuing to make your mother proud! See the beauty and joy of your love all around you.
Take care of yourself.1 -
I'm very sorry for your loss1
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I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad on November 11th and it still feels so unreal. He struggled with Parkinson’s for 15 yrs but copd and congestive heart failure took him out. A lingering illness takes its toll in so many ways and depression was a big one.
Some days I’m ok and others I’m on the floor in a fetal position. It hurts...I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing him. But I started this journey with his blessing and I won’t let him down. He was so proud of me. Please don’t stop... you don’t have to do all this right now, give yourself a breather and mourn but remember to make healthy choices.
Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.3 -
Hi. I'm hug number 32. I'm really sorry that you're experiencing the pain from the loss of your mom. I'm sure she had many reasons to be proud of you. And my gut tells me, that when she looks down from above, she wants to see you living your life happy. And if she looks down and sees that you are staying on track with your program, it will give her just another reason to be proud of you. 1
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I’m so sorry for your loss.2
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I'm very sorry for your loss. 2
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I have nothing helpful to contribute, but offer my deepest condolences to you and yours. 1
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Bless ur heart girl.. so sorry to hear this1
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You are heartbroken, and i hate the grief and pain you are going though.. i'm sorry you lost your mom, it just isn't fair. Of course, no one here wants this crisis to cause you to spin out of control and regain the weight you've worked so hard to lose. i bet your mom was proud of your weight loss, i hope she told you so and you can remember that as you get through this stressful time.1
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I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my dad last november after he got diagnosed with lung cancer in september.
What helped me cope was walking and running. Maybe you can find some comfort in this as well. Because the time between him getting ill and diagnosed and him passing away was so short it was hard to get my mind around that. And walking helped. It helped a lot. And walking became running. And i was so tired in those months from the mental strain that grieve gave me that having a tired body was actually comforting.
I have a dog and that helped me too. Otherwise i probably would have buried myself underneath a pile of blankets and never come out again. But the dog needs excercise too.
Just remember that everybody handles grieve differently.
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