How can I love myself if I haven't reached my goal yet?

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  • peaceout_aly
    peaceout_aly Posts: 2,018 Member
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    HakunaMatata137 wrote: »
    Hey guys,

    This is like my third post in a row tonight, but this is the first time I ever really thought to post my questions to the forum and now it's all just coming out like word vomit lol! I've had a struggle ever since starting my weight loss journey a few months ago, and I want to know if anyone else can relate.

    At my fittest (4-5 years ago), I weighed 120 lbs (at 5'3). But then, college happened and I got to 205 lbs. But I am now at 174 lbs, which I am so proud of! But it's still not 120 lbs. And 174 lbs is still overweight for my height.

    When I first started gaining the college weight, my parents would tell me that I'm getting fat when I was only at 150 lbs. I saw pictures of myself when I was like 165 lbs, and I hate the way I look in those pictures. So why should I, at 174 lbs, believe that I look good? When me (and others) didn't think I looked good at even 140, or 150 lbs because it was still considered overweight?

    So I guess my question is, how can I be happy with myself throughout the process of my weight loss? When I still haven't reached my goal? How can I look in the mirror and be proud of myself and like what I see, when I'm still technically "fat" and bigger than I was when I was 120 lbs?

    I hope this question makes sense. And even if you don't have the answers, I'd love to hear from people who have or are currently experiencing this issue. Thanks in advance yall :)

    First off, let me tell you there are bikini competitors who STILL don't love themselves. And there are curvy girls that flaunt all they got and think they put the stars in the sky. It's mind set.

    Learn to love the process. Learn to love the feeling of being healthier. Of little "wins" at the gym - like being able to take time off your mile, or walk the stair master at a higher level. If you're using weights, it's even easier to stay motivated and build confidence because you'll constantly be increasing the weights and reps you're using especially as a beginner while also creating a healthy body and better body composition. You can love yourself at any weight. Appreciate what your body can do for you, not just what it looks like.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    It's best if weight loss comes from a place of loving yourself, and from that having a desire to take care of yourself and be the best that you can. Telling yourself that you love yourself AFTER meeting your goal is a really bad idea, especially since the goal post tends to move around all the time.
  • thelettermegan
    thelettermegan Posts: 49 Member
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    You can love yourself and also work towards specific goals.

    I'm a big fan of me. I'm not a big fan of flappy arms. I am a big fan of the endorphin burst I get after a good bootcamp session. I'm pretty proud of myself when I cook something healthy. BUT DARN THOSE FLAPPY ARMS. I've accepted them as part of the package, for now.

    Happiness and pride comes in moments - when my weight is down just a little bit from the starting weight, I look in the mirror and find that it's not perfect but I'm way happier with how I look and it makes the exercise and nutrition worth it.

    When my mood is down, I do a check - Did I eat something that is causing a reaction? Did I get enough sleep? Have I been sitting in front of the TV for too long? Am I thirsty? Am I hungry? Am I hot? Am I cold? Am I bored? Am I lonely?

    Do I just need to stretch for a minute?

    A physical need can manifest itself as anxiety. If you're feeling depressed or anxious, check that those needs are being met. Sometimes it just takes a glass of water to boost the mood.
  • lovelylisa555
    lovelylisa555 Posts: 2 Member
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    To repeat what so many here have already said ... your weight doesn’t reflect your worth. So take care of yourself because of your worth not to create it. Your body, your being is sacred whether you weigh 120 pounds or 320 pounds. Because it is sacred it deserves good clean food, water and exercise. It deserves to be at a weight that can serve the beautiful soul inside of it. So stop with the negative self talk, make yourself a wonderful, healthy lo cal breakfast and exercise today. You deserve it.
  • vanmep
    vanmep Posts: 406 Member
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    Presumably your life is bigger (pardon the pun :smiley: ) than just your size. You went to college! You have a family! What other things have you accomplished? What other things are you interested in? What other things do you love about yourself.
  • pdw901
    pdw901 Posts: 2 Member
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    The reason you can look at yourself and be proud at 174 lbs when people said you were fat at a lower weight is context and effort. 174 is better than 205, and you did the work to make that happen. You may like how you look better at 120 lbs or even 150, but you also didn’t have to do anything to earn it. I’m a lot heavier than you but a mean girl at work has made comments about my weight, and I look at it like maybe I have more weight to lose than her, but I’ve also lost more weight than her by percentage. So you should be proud of where you are - you worked way harder for that than someone who was always that weight.

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