im so close to being done...

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crazymama2two
crazymama2two Posts: 867
in Motivation and Support
...and the only reason i dont delete my account is knowing that the 21 lbs ive lost WILL come back and ill hate my body all over again and have to start again and it was hard enough to start the first time, let alone try again.

i have amazing and supportive friends on here. i am battling an issue in my personal world right now that is causing immense emotional stress. with that being said however, i have not used that as an excuse to go balls out and eat like a fiend or anything like that. im keeping myself in check. im going to the gym still.

i dont want to give up at all so i wont but i havent logged my food for two days and i promise i havent gone nuts even tho i've wanted to. to be honest, the only reason i havent gone nuts is cause being my husband is on strike with no paycheck i can't justify ordering the pizza or the chinese that i really want. so i am overall being a smart lady, but goddamnit i want this whole mindframe of mind to snap back to where i was in february.

i need/want someone to speak to me ... my friends are supportive this i know but i need someone to say something that will snap me out fo this crap...idk what, idk who, i truly know this is a grueling task to ask but i dont know what else to do. im sad. im stressed. im angry. im a yeller. i hate all of this. i want ot be back to the place i was in february - gung ho...right now ill take a bit of a boo yah im gonna do this. i guess its cause i dont believe in myself and i want to...i need to.

im sorry im not making any sense. my emotions are all over the place. xoxo

Replies

  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
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    You need to ask yourself what is worse - giving up or continuing. I suspect that giving up will make you feel worse. Look at your fitness routine as a source of stress release, therapy, if you will.

    Courage, lovely. This **** is temporary and you can hold on.
  • vettle
    vettle Posts: 621 Member
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    I think you need a big virtual hug.

    *SQUUUUUEEEEEEEEZEEEE*

    You're an amazing person and we all believe in you.
  • IamRoJ
    IamRoJ Posts: 530 Member
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    Honey the best part of MFP is we believe in each other when we give up on ourselves. You can DO this! It will HELP with the stress. You are a strong, smart, beautiful woman and I would come give you a kick in the *kitten* if you didn't live so far away.

    You can vent, yell, stress at me any time you want if it helps - got your back whenever you need it. Truly
  • sbrown44
    sbrown44 Posts: 82
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    I saw this blog that snapped me out of it and so I will be messaging it to you! You can do this and you are sooo worth it! I have been in your shoes. My husband's job was very much in jeopardy at the end of July, but thank goodness the city decided it would cost more to eliminate the position and have the county do it than it was to keep my hubby. It is very rough right now but you will survive! I know the emotional rollercoaster is hard to deal with and so is the unknown but you will survive it!
  • shasslock
    shasslock Posts: 56
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    As someone who is also going through something personal that made me want to delete my account here and crawl into a hole somewhere, don't do it, love! You will regret that action more than anything. You have come so far and having such a support group here will keep you accountable and push you in the direction that you WANT to go...that you NEED to go. Talk it out...stand up and take action for yourself. This is just a bump on a very bumpy road, my friend. Chin up, gorgeous. I am here for you!
  • chorgi
    chorgi Posts: 221
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    I'm sorry things are tough right now... I know how life has a tendency to do that at times (trust me). Stay strong and believe in yourself. You may not always do it perfect, but you'll feel better if you don't lose faith.
  • Daisy374
    Daisy374 Posts: 539 Member
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    *****HUG***** You can't give up and leave because I need you too!! Trust me... I know how you feel.. I had an AWFUL day today and totally felt like everything I have done for the past 6 months was for nothing! I still felt as fat as I did on the day I started and was thinking 'why bother?' But then I thought back to how much I weighed on the day I started and how much I weigh and how good I am starting to feel now, and decided I wasn't going to let the fat win!!! Yes, I had a bad day today... but that has just made me want to win even more and I am not going to give up this time... and neither are you!!!! We are all in this together and are all going to beat it once and for all!!! The fact that you haven't let your current situation make you revert to old habits shows how far you have come!!! I am so proud of you and this situation will pass... Just take your frustrations out on the gym, and vent to us anytime you need to. Lord knows I do it enough ;) (sorry I wrote a book... guess I am just emotional tonight lol) Love you and am here if you need a shoulder!
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    I want you here...that is all that should matter.
  • shasslock
    shasslock Posts: 56
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    And like Daisy said...take your frustrations to the gym...not the kitchen :).
  • cownancy
    cownancy Posts: 291
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    Sweetie....I know how you feel! My husband's industry has been drying up over the past 8 years and he has finally been unemployed or underemployed for almost two years. We had a mortgage of $4000 per month, plus health insurance of $1200 per month and only $410 per week in unemployment. I have already been suffering from stress-induced problems (a list of them) for years now and sometimes I feel like I just CANNOT STAND ONE MORE STRESSOR!!!!!! So, I understand confusion, sadness, anxiety, worry and many of the other things you are probably facing right now.

    BUT.....with that in mind.....here are a few things to consider.....stress is very unhealthy and learning to not let it get to you is a great skill to master. It's like trying to master the changes required to life a healthier lifestyle through healthy food and exercise choices. So, that last thing you want to do is give up on that....When you start to stress over the other issues, refocus yourself on the things that you CAN DO and CAN CONTROL. Don't let the things you cannot control ruin the things you CAN control! Take care of YOURSELF! Reach in deep and pull out those self-preservation instincts...they are there!

    When you start to think of something that makes you feel stressed or upset, do something positive.....take a walk, to the laundry, reorganize your closets, spend time with a friend laughing, Go into the bathroom and give yourself a glamour make over.......search for an entire week of great healthy meal recipes....immerse yourself in something that will occupy your mind and make you feel a sense of accomplishment when you finish and don't take no from yourself as an answer!

    Try going to Soldier's Angels and adopt a soldier, or write letters to soldiers to cheer them up while they are defending our country! Find someone here on MFP who is having a rough time and see if any of your experiences might be able to help them. Go through your pantry and donate foods you will never use again to a local charity, and while you are at it, do your closets as well. Then, keep going and put together a yard sale, or a Craig's List list of things to sell or even eBay.

    Your husband obviously works for a good place if he is in a union. Once the strike is over, he will receive back pay, usually, which will come in handy. You just have to find a way to ride out this storm and YOU CAN DO IT! HONESTLY. If you have gotten this far with MFP, you can do this, too!

    DO NOT GIVE UP....HELP IS HERE ON MFP and HOPE IS ALWAYS PRESENT!!!

    xxxxooo
  • MsRobin_TheSequel
    MsRobin_TheSequel Posts: 127 Member
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    You need to ask yourself what is worse - giving up or continuing. I suspect that giving up will make you feel worse. Look at your fitness routine as a source of stress release, therapy, if you will.

    Courage, lovely. This **** is temporary and you can hold on.



    THIS
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    All you need to remember is " A year from now you will wish you had started today". This quotes gets me going every single day because I don't want to be fat anymore and last year when I was dieting and I got all the way down to 159lbs and yep it happened, I stopped and here I am one year later trying to get back to the 159 and surpass that number down to 125 from gaining many pounds and ending right back at square one - 186lbs. Had I stuck with it last year I wouldn't have to be where I am now.
    We ALL have weak moments where we wish we could just give up and go eat that cake, chocolate, Chinese take out, etc. We all have dark moments like that. One suggestion I would like to provide you with is that maybe you can take out your stress/emotional stress out in the gym? Do you run? Elliptical? If not I would recommend you start running! Do the C25k! Start putting more effort in the gym and relieving the stress there.

    What will you win by quitting right now? Absolutely nothing. You will probably regain the weight you have lost so far.

    If you need a motivator, here I am. I can motivate you but you need to put the effort. 100% of the effort. We all have bad days, it's time to snap out of it and get back on track.
  • bearsfan68
    bearsfan68 Posts: 85 Member
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    I understand emotional stress....what I do know is that bad times don't last forever. If you can just get through this "funk" that you are in you will get to a better place. Life is full of changes and we can either give up or move forward. A person has 2 choices. Simple? Absolutely not... but you are stronger than you think!! As they say, "this too shall pass".

    You can't give up!! Just focus on small goals for now and make sure you get plenty of exercise!! Exercise is like having a therapist for me! You deserve to be happy and healthy and your family needs you to be around for a long time!!!

    So, starting tomorrow wear a rubber band around your wrist. When you begin to think a negative thought, snap your rubber band and think of a positve thought instead. Sometimes when we get sad it is because we are obsessing or only focusing on the problems in our life. (I know this from experience). Do something to get your mind off of what is negative in your life like volunteering or helping someone. It is through giving that we really can experience happiness. I dealt with depression and this really does help. Another thing you mention is your angry....I suggest writing in a journal to help you release these feelings.

    Your so worth it and you have a long life ahead of you!!! Good luck to you. I hope you choose to get back into the game with the rest of us!!!
  • ♥xenawarriorprincess♥
    ♥xenawarriorprincess♥ Posts: 440 Member
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    Awww, sweetie here is a Hug...just breathe and remember this too shall pass!!! You are strong, you can do this and we here at MFP have your back...so put on your big girl panties and move forward and don't look back!!! Love and blessings to ya!!!
  • Slinkybaz
    Slinkybaz Posts: 312 Member
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    Some people have given you some great advice here - particularly bearsfan and Heather.

    When you are going through really tough times, there is a lot of stuff that is currently out of your control - you have no money which restricts so many other choices from the simple food you can buy and petrol for your car to being unable to join friends when they go out.

    But you CAN control you - the choices of what you put in your mouth, the choices of whether you exercise and the choice of your attitude each morning when you wake up. Growing and living is not about the easy days that pass uneventfully, it's about the tough days and how you deal with them and how they shape you.

    That is also why you find out who your true friends are in the tough times - you don't see the faults in people until they're put to the test. Everyone has faults but some are ones you didn't notice before and they change or finish your relationships with people (I know this from experience and being let down badly by somebody close)

    So girl, I really feel for you and I hope you are on a better path very soon. In the meantime, choose that attitude and what you put into life - choose happiness and fighting the battle til you win. Choose yourself, choose your husband and give life a swift kick in the nuts coz....

    THE ONLY WAY IS UP BABY!
  • StevLL
    StevLL Posts: 921 Member
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    I wish we could make it all go away, but we can't. If I can be so blunt, I'll suggest two things; 1. stay the course and use the gym to reduce your stress. 2. we can't always choose the hand we are dealt, but we absolutley can control the attitude we bring to the game. If you have a used book store or library close by I would recommend two books. Fish Philosophy, its about Pike's World Famous Fish market and Anatomy of Peace. Both are about how we handle ourselves in chaos and when things basically suck. Peace & Light CM, here's hoping things get better very soon.

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