Depression, anxiety and more

Timeforchanges1029
Timeforchanges1029 Posts: 9 Member
edited November 27 in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone,

It’s been a crazy last few months and weeks for me as I found out that I have pretty severe depression and anxiety. It has been a terrifying experience so far to realize how long I’ve been living this way. I was hoping to reach some people thatve been through similar circumstances and what they’ve done to get through it all. My number one goal in all of this is to fix myself and be happy, bu I would really like to save and develop a better marriage with my wife as well.

Thank you!

Replies

  • jmcavezz37
    jmcavezz37 Posts: 11 Member
    Stay strong
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I've had generalized anxiety disorder since childhood. I mostly cope with self-care techniques, but it's always a battle to fight the anxiety in everyday situations and when it builds up due to long-term stress.

    I hope you have the opportunity to try some form of talk therapy (if you haven't begun already), because that's really helped me a lot. If one therapist isn't a good fit do not be ashamed to try another one.

    I truly wish you the best. You sound very self-aware & motivated to change your life.
  • kbmnurse1
    kbmnurse1 Posts: 316 Member
    For those of us that have not experienced anxiety or depression it is so hard to fathom. I just can't imagine the suffering you endure. My heart goes out to you. God Speed.
  • NewChapterInMyLife
    NewChapterInMyLife Posts: 757 Member
    Just knowing that " this too shall pass" when the sadness feels unbearable. Sometimes you gotta keep repeating that.
    Walking each night has really helped me. Must have something to do with being out in the fresh air and a dopamine release. So i would encourage that.
    Helping others is big. If you can volunteer somewhere even with animals and give back, it helps!! Because it just feels good to make others smile.
    Do little bitty things each day that are productive. Depression can make even small tasks seem impossible so just do little things. Write a paragraph in a journal( or a love note to your wife), take a relaxing bath, do 20 sit ups...the little things will help.
    Most of all, know you are not alone. There are millions like us.
    THIS TOO SHALL PASS
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    A few years ago I got put on 3 pills for anxiety, depression and pain.
    I was a walking zombie.
    I was also(and still a bit to this day) a heavy drinker.... this was a horrible cocktail and proved to make things worse.
    I understand the everyday struggle between depression and anxiety .... your depression will keep you in bed but your anxiety will make you worry that your friends hate you know because you bailed.
    It is a never ending battle in your head.

    I took myself off my antidepressants which threw me into a massive battle with my anxiety to the extent I lost so much weight from vomiting I would get so worked up about things I would vomit vomit.

    Two-Three years ago I got taken off/denied my anxiety meds as I started to abuse them. I was doing horrible things with my ativan. After that I had to learn and quick how to cope when an attack came on. That was the biggest struggle. I would faint, vomit. This is also -from what ive heard- is the withdrawal symptoms of ativan as it is an "opiate"?

    Now current day I am no longer on any meds and can handle my own attacks (it aint fun) I still vomit some days and get dissy but I am in such a better state of mind...

    What I do to get over my anxiety is I literally have to take it second by second/ min by min.... tell myself that everything is ok and I can get through this next min. I have a mental list of things I need to get done and I just everyday have to work to get closer to that list being empty (it never will) but it feels good to complete things and thats what gets me through my attacks I confirm that I have completed this item and this item yes it can wait a day as today I need to slow things done and that brings done my heart from exploding

    It is a long battle and hard one

    but there is light at the end of the tunnel.. Trust me :)
  • Timeforchanges1029
    Timeforchanges1029 Posts: 9 Member
    Hey everyone! Thanks for the kind words and different perspectives! I am currently in the early stages of trying medicine as I have a low dose of Prozac, as well as weekly therapy apts. I have also had a few people that I have been able to really open up to and talk about it.

    The entire process has been terrifying for me to realize how these issues have been making my mind run wild for years and years. The best thing is that I know I can someday beat this!

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  • kevont
    kevont Posts: 19 Member
    Last April I started fighting with suicidal depression (I've fought with depression my whole life but it turned suicidal last year). My doctor changed my medicine and things got much worse. I never had anxiety until I was on depression medicine but the anxiety was so bad that I couldn't drive five miles down the road to see a doctor. My wife had to take off of work and come get me to take me to my appointments. The doctor changed me to Prozac and I slept all day long. I could barely manage to get up and go to work (I work from home) then I'd fall back into bed until the next time to go to work.

    Things got so bad that I told my wife who to contact when I died in order to collect the life insurance policy. Then I started making plans to kill myself.

    Fortunately, my doctor was wise enough to realize there could be something else going on and had me do a testosterone blood test. Turns out my testosterone was terribly low. It took about four months of working with a urologist to get my testosterone in the correct range. Six months after that the depression is nearly non-existant. The suicidal thoughts and ideations are completely gone. The only time I think of suicide now is when I (literally) thank God for letting this testosterone treatment deliver me from the suicidal depression.

    Please, get your testosterone levels checked. It might literally save your life. If it isn't testosterone, your doctor can continue to try medicines until you find the one that works for you. There is hope. I went from hopeless (I told my wife that she had to hope for both us because I just didn't have any hope left) to feeling that life is worth living.

    I'm sure there is an equivalent hormone for women (estrogen maybe) but I'm not sure what it is. Any woman suffering from depression might want to ask her doctor if there is a hormone deficiency that might be causing her symptoms.
  • kelsiesco
    kelsiesco Posts: 11 Member
    I've had depression and anxiety since I was a kid, and most recently I was also diagnosed with PTSD and a panic disorder. For me going to talk to a therapist was a great help, I used to see her two to three times a week, that was right after I was discharged from the hospital for a suicide attempt. I am now down to seeing her once a month.

    Also for me medication is key. I was twelve when I was diagnosed, and I am 24 now. Over the last twelve years I have had a variety of different prescriptions, and it took a while to find the right combination of medication, but I truly don't think I would be here without it. I have had time where I have felt like I could be without the medication, and I am fine for a while, but then it slowly starts to creep back in. By this point in my life I can usually tell when I need a medication adjustment, either by upping the dosage, or by backing off of it a bit.

    Now that I've started exercising again I think I am going to be able to back of my meds a little bit. Walking is by far my favorite, because it gives me some alone time, outside in the fresh air. Usually my mood is so much better after my walks, and other workouts in general because it makes me feel like I've been productive. You just need to find out what works for you. I crave alone time, but my sister loves to take classes because she likes to be around people. My best friend has anxiety that manifests in irritation so she has started to box.

    I wish you luck, and remember while your depression might be bad now, it won't always be like this.
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  • kelsiesco
    kelsiesco Posts: 11 Member
    JakedOnGreenBeers wrote: »

    I'm sorry for what you've gone through since such a young age. :frowning:

    If I may ask you a personal question, because I relate a lot to this, do you tell your psych when you plan to cut back on the medication or do they plan that for you? I feel a lot better after I run most days lately and I don't want to take meds forever but my psych has made no mention of adjusting the dosage or frequency or anything.

    Thankfully I have an amazing doctor, when I feel like my medication needs adjusting we have a talk about it. He knows that I know my body, so if I feel like I need more or less or whatever, he will typically listen. At the same time he will also bring up medication adjustments, typically he will bring it up if he thinks I need to up my dosage, mostly because if my symptoms are so bad that he can see them and I haven't asked for any adjustments then I'm probably not in a good place to be making that kind of decision anyway.

    At this point in life I go through periods where my depression gets worse, and there are times where it gets better. For me the seasons play a big part, to tell you the truth I'm not sure why I haven't been diagnosed with SAD as well. In mid fall I will probably need a higher dose, because my depression is really bad in the winter. I have an appointment in a week to see about lowering my dose, because my depression is better in the summer.

    But regardless every time I see him he will ask me how he thinks I am doing, and how I think my meds are working. That's the thing with medication like this, there is so much trial and error, but if you find something that works really well for you then life is great. Its really hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that my "good" days, where I have some motivation, and can actually do a lot of things are the normal day for others.

    When I was in my teens I had goals to be off of medication, because I didn't want to be dependent on it. But the way I figure is that everyone is dependent on the neurotransmitters, I just don't have the same amount as everyone else naturally, so I have to get it from another source. Whether that is scientifically what is going on in my brain I couldn't tell you, but I have been off and on meds long enough to know that being off of them right now is not good for me
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