Second time's a charm (my struggle with binge eating disorder)

Hello everyone! My name’s Silke, 22 y/o, struggling with BED (Binge eating disorder) and currently living in Japan. Here’s my story.

Two years ago, I lost about 15 kilos (30 pounds) over a span of around 4-5 months just by eating a bit healthier and portion control. I went from being 77 kg (170 lbs) to 61-62 kg (135 lbs). I was happy by all the compliments I was receiving, but I wanted to push myself further, as I had plateaued and I didn’t lose anymore weight. I still thought I was fat and overweight when I looked in the mirror (sigh). I started going to the gym, but started eating more (junk) at the same time as well. I kept hovering around 62 kg (lbs) and after 1,5 years, I stopped going to the gym and started bingeing again. Maybe it was the frustration, maybe it was general stress, even to this day I’m not sure what it was, but I let myself go.

Now I’m currently residing in Japan until the end of January 2019 as part of my master studies. Right before I came here in March 2018 and the two months I’ve already been here, I was bingeing non-stop. I’ve gained most of the weight I lost 2 years ago back (currently at 73 kg, 161 lbs). I’m very disappointed in myself and I want to change again, and this time I won’t get frustrated when I plateau at 62 kg, as I’ve realized now looking back on pictures I looked fine at that weight, even though I still thought I was fat. I need to learn to love myself while working towards being healthy.

I had my first binge-free day in a LOOONG time two days ago, June 9th, and it felt so good going to bed without a stomach that felt that it was about to explode!

All I want to do is get back to my previous weight, and manage my BED by the time I go back home in January. Time enough, right?