Negative comments getting me down..what can I do?

Take a deep breath, honey. You’ve got this. You make the decisions in your life, not them. If you let these comments affect your decisions, you’re giving them power over you. That being said, I know how that feels. It took a lot of mental work to start standing on my own too feet and taking responsibility and power for myself and my actions.

It sounds like they both want you to lose weight and since you’re here I’m guessing that’s your goal too, so could you think up some concrete ways they could offer support, instead of putting you down with comments? It can be something very concrete, like ”I would like you to not complain about vegetables in the dinner” or ”could you take care of the laundry one night a week so I could go work out” or whatever you feel like you need. Support I have asked for, and received, includes things like my significant other not eating (unplanned) nachos or chocolate when I’m home and can see it, and him not suggesting pasta carbonara into the meal plan. Before any of you are freaking out, carbonara, chocolate and nachos all have their place in the meal plan, just not every week.

Other practical tips: if you can affect what groceries enter your home, make changes as necessary. For the negative comments: I find it helpful to work myself up on a walk, come up with genius comebacks to these comments, and ”practice” the discussion in my head before I’m about to have a difficult discussion or have to confront someone about their behaviour. That way, I don’t shut off in the situation and can argue my point logically.

Just remember you are in control of your life. Comments are just comments and ultimately its up to you on how you let those comments affect you. I know it's difficult to divest yourself from things people say that are close to you but sometimes you just have to do that in a nice way. My wife used to actively sabotage my weigh loss journey and on occasion still does but I just didn't let it affect the path I was on, I wasn't a jerk about it but I just maintained my need for change and followed through with it because me being healthy and happy is better for my entire family. After a while she learned that what she was saying and doing didn't control me so it eventually tapered off. I still get a snide comment now and then but I just let it roll off my shoulders since it's not my burden to carry, I didn't say it. It is more a reflection on themselves and the best thing I can do is be a good role model for myself and if they want to get on board I am happy to support them as long as they support themselves as well.

BZAH10 wrote: »

" I have explained to them many times how I feel. " - this is just plain wrong. If you've told them how you feel and they still continue to do it, then I'd be pretty angry. However, maybe responding with, "Are you trying to help or be supportive? If so, THESE comments need to stop."

IDK, I've never experienced this thankfully, but per these boards many have and it strikes me as so sad that these are supposedly the people who love you. Be consistent and firm. Good luck!

Like you, I have not had these type of people in my life. I will never understand how that happens.

flip it.

....those emotions that you're feeling, that's energy.

channel it & use it to your advantage

it's okay to have an attitude once in awhile

work hard, be patient and and (eventually) make them look like *kitten* in comparison to you.

Snowflake1968 wrote: »

Like you, I have not had these type of people in my life. I will never understand how that happens.

I have. I have removed them from my life as much as possible. The ones who happen to be related to me genetically, I minimize. Or they finally became so screwed that they removed themselves which, sadly, increased my peace.

This happens because people allow it.

First: take a deep breath. Seriously... Deeper... Okay....

Second: relax. You are doing this for YOU, not them. Don't let other people's negativity derail your progress

Third: it is perfectly acceptable to be angry, don't try to hide it or bury it. Use your anger as fuel. When you get really upset, put some music on and go for a walk. I don't know why but any exercise I do when I'm angry, I get a better workout. I run faster, longer, lift more... Because I'm angry and take my anger out on the workout.

Forth: it's sad, and so true. Sustained weight loss and efforts to bring about a better you, can bring out the absolute worst in other people. Not strangers, but from family and friends. It's a combination of jealousy and that misery loves company. I refuse to be polite to mean people, my go to reply is "if that's how you feel..." And move on.

You can do this. This place is great for venting about all the crap we deal with losing weight. So vent, we got your back!

duskyjewel wrote: »

I assume OH means "other half." Can you tell me what this person brings to your life other than rude comments and cruel discouragement?

I'm still wondering about the answer to this question. Your mother, you're stuck with. This other person being in your life is a choice, so I'm wondering what positive things they give you that could possibly offset what you describe here.