Anyone else have friends who suck?

fastfoodietofitcutie
fastfoodietofitcutie Posts: 523 Member
edited November 27 in Chit-Chat
Being in my 40’s you would think one would have an established group of friends by now. I have a group of 4 girlfriends who I love dearly but they flake on me all the time. We all plan things, dinners, activities, weekends away, etc.. and more times than not multiple people bail and I end up sitting home alone. So do you completely write off these people and be friendless or put up with their shenanigans? The easy thing would be to get new friends but that’s extremely difficult when you are in your 40’s and single.
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Replies

  • hud54014
    hud54014 Posts: 3,777 Member
    Are these friends of yours single as well?
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
    Yes I do and her name's Tiffany.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    Are your friends single too? Why would you give up on those that you care about?
  • VUA21
    VUA21 Posts: 2,072 Member
    Nope. I have ex-friend that were like that. It's less overall stress and new friends aren't that difficult to make (I'm in my 40's as well), once you go do things you enjoy.
  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
    I had a group of friends through 20s-early 30s. Had to cut them all loose. I'm approaching 40s with a more reliable group of friends. The flaking gets old.
  • fastfoodietofitcutie
    fastfoodietofitcutie Posts: 523 Member
    One is single, the others are married.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I have a very close circle of really good friends. Most of the time things work out when we have plans, but we're all busy and all have kids, etc...so sometimes stuff just happens.

    I have a handful of friends that are on a slightly lower tier...it can be more hit or miss when we have plans...we're just not quite as close, but I'd say even then, it's more like 80/20
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
    Life, can often be a single player experience. Hoping for a multi-player experience, can often leave you missing out on the best 1 player action ever.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited June 2018
    fastfoodietofitcutie wrote: »
    One is single, the others are married.

    This makes sense, probably with kids as well? If you are sitting home alone, search for people that have similar interests, join groups etc. But kicking the friends you do have to the curb because they bail on events seems harsh as having friends you trust and love are very hard to come by.

    You just need some other things in your life to keep you from being lonely, etc.
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    Yes I do and her name's Tiffany.

    Table for two, breakfast for one

    efakg6tqdbax.gif
  • 2VORNT2V
    2VORNT2V Posts: 596 Member
    My friends don't suck, if one of them did I'd wife them up
  • MichelleWithMoxie
    MichelleWithMoxie Posts: 1,817 Member
    what are "friends"? lol
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    2VORNT2V wrote: »
    My friends don't suck, if one of them did I'd wife them up

    Uh huh, don’t velociraptors have cloacas?
  • 2VORNT2V
    2VORNT2V Posts: 596 Member
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    2VORNT2V wrote: »
    My friends don't suck, if one of them did I'd wife them up

    Uh huh, don’t velociraptors have cloacas?

    I'm in to claw play
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    2VORNT2V wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    2VORNT2V wrote: »
    My friends don't suck, if one of them did I'd wife them up

    Uh huh, don’t velociraptors have cloacas?

    I'm in to claw play

    You’re adorable
  • 2VORNT2V
    2VORNT2V Posts: 596 Member
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    2VORNT2V wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    2VORNT2V wrote: »
    My friends don't suck, if one of them did I'd wife them up

    Uh huh, don’t velociraptors have cloacas?

    I'm in to claw play

    You’re adorable

    ?u=http%3A%2F%2Fgeekologie.com%2F2014%2F01%2F31%2Fdinosaur-lady-selfie.jpg&f=1
  • ChaelAZ
    ChaelAZ Posts: 2,240 Member
    Not since my FWB days...unfortunately.
  • R3d_butt3rfly
    R3d_butt3rfly Posts: 1,127 Member
    No... but I'm a pretty sucky friend.... so ive been told :'(
  • Mez79p
    Mez79p Posts: 33 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. I'm 39 single & have 4 friends & all single (3 are 39) too. 3(girls) of them have some sort of anxiety problems, they're always bailing on me. I'm lucky if I can get a chance to have an afternoon coffee with them on a Sunday afternoon if they don't get a panic attack. The other feels like he only wants to catchup when a blockbuster movie is out (so not too much catch up there.
    I found that going to the gym has helped me find new friends. Mind you it has been a slow process (about 2 years). I've slowly gotten to know these people found out we're all there with similar goals. We've finally gone on some charity events a couple of dinners and planning on going on some fun runs.
    Do you have any interests or hobbies or sports? Maybe by attending cooking/ language classes or crafts or even the gym for example, you might come across people with the same interests (well I at least you're both there doing the same activity ) & hopefully make new friends.

    I feel your pain, it can get pretty lonely flying solo.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    edited June 2018
    This content has been removed.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    Im a sucky friend. But i warn people of that in advance.
  • adamfernandez4986
    adamfernandez4986 Posts: 12 Member
    Just put less effort into the planning and let them do it you set yourself up for failure if you try with flakes :/
  • bhadbahabi
    bhadbahabi Posts: 575 Member
    I just stopped trying with a friend like that. Now I have no friends but I essentially didn't have them to begin with if they never want to hang out and are only interested in talking about themselves.
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    I haven't had friends in years. So yes they suck
This discussion has been closed.

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