Getting it back after a break-up!

cedric_says
cedric_says Posts: 26 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hello All! My name is Cedric. I was recently recommended myfitnesspal by my trainer and friend. I am looking forward to building an online community of friends experiencing the same challenges.

After a disappointing break-up I am now looking forward to getting back into shape and looking my best.

My goal is to lose 10 lbs. of fat and replace it with another 10 lbs. of lean muscle. My BMI is around 15% and I'd like to get below 12%.

Some days are still difficult but I am optimistic about the future.

Replies

  • sharonedix
    sharonedix Posts: 28 Member
    Getting back up is apart of life ..your doing good!! Take each day and do your best the rest will take care of its self
  • cedric_says
    cedric_says Posts: 26 Member
    sharonedix wrote: »
    Getting back up is apart of life ..your doing good!! Take each day and do your best the rest will take care of its self

    Thanks Sharonedix! After losing a few people that are close to me I learned life goes on. There is no stopping it, it's a moving river and trying to cling to something in the past will only cause more trouble. Thank you for the encouragement!
  • Audryana7
    Audryana7 Posts: 5 Member
    I’m coming out of an awful break up as well!😅🙃 It’s the worst but I’m focusing on making myself better. I’d love some friends if anyone wants to add me!
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    cedric_says wrote: »
    I reminded myself today how baby steps are sooo important. Sometimes I make my goals so big that they seem overwhelming and difficult that I lose motivation. To start I am simply trying to stick to a more consistent diet. I have added BCAAs to replace all the sugary drinks that I desperately crave. Sugar addiction is real my friends. I hear it is worse than most addictions to narcotics. I have also begun to learn how to track all of my food intake using the MFP app.

    Another thought process I have used in the past for other goals is simply defining why I want this soo bad.
    • I want to run into my ex one day and for her to think whether she made the right decision or not
    • I want to be able to have the energy to go on adventures
    • I want to have the endurance to run a mile in less than 6 minutes
    • I want to have the strength to lift nearly twice my body weight in bench press and back squat
    • I want to have the strength for atleast 3x my weight in deadlift
    • I want to crush the murph in a 20lbs weighted vest Rx

    Once you reach your goals you will be so happy and at peace it wouldnt even matter what she thinks. you would have moved on to bigger and better things.

  • brightresolve
    brightresolve Posts: 1,024 Member
    I love this, @cedric_says -- your attitude is super. You are so right, we control the effort not the outcome and life is that fluid thing, moving on an on ... You will heal and time is so your friend.
  • cedric_says
    cedric_says Posts: 26 Member
    brightresolve wrote: »
    I love this, @cedric_says -- your attitude is super. You are so right, we control the effort not the outcome and life is that fluid thing, moving on an on ... You will heal and time is so your friend.

    Thanks for the encouragement @brightresolve !
  • cedric_says
    cedric_says Posts: 26 Member
    dbanks80 wrote: »
    Once you reach your goals you will be so happy and at peace it wouldnt even matter what she thinks. you would have moved on to bigger and better things.

    Thanks @dbanks80 ! You're right :smile:
  • cedric_says
    cedric_says Posts: 26 Member
    Dang. Really feeling like she is the one who dodged the bullet today. Tomorrow will be better.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    edited July 2018
    They say that women grieve longer than men over breakups. Men move on faster. The loss of a high quality mate hurts more than casual ones, that's for sure. Then there's grieving the relationship that never was.

    The romance that almost was. There was all of the potential that it could follow through but it never did. These can haunt you for a lifetime. You were emotionally invested because you really wanted it to turn into something. You feel the heartache over something that will never be. You accept it. You understand it but there is no closure.

    Official breakup or not, we're human. Our feelings were valid. Maybe they ghosted you or never called you again. They found someone else and moved away. And yet, out of the blue, you mull them over. It gets better with time but they're never forgotten. The sad part is that they've probably never given you a second thought.
    Then you wonder, did I ever have that effect on someone out there. You ignored them but they're out there thinking about you. Oy vey.
  • brightresolve
    brightresolve Posts: 1,024 Member
    edited July 2018
    cedric_says wrote: »
    Dang. Really feeling like she is the one who dodged the bullet today. Tomorrow will be better.

    If you take virtual hugs from women your mom's age, you get one for that. There is no need to beat yourself up. Our inner critics can turn vicious when we're already down, but a breakup is about a mix that isn't working not about who's right or wrong. Looking at what happened can be helpful or it can just suck you back down into bad energy. Keep your chin up and do your day, one day at a time. Put your heart into what feeds you. Then eventually, when you are ready, look around and see who else is there.
  • cedric_says
    cedric_says Posts: 26 Member
    Thanks @Mari22na .
    Mari22na wrote: »
    They say that women grieve longer than men over breakups. Men move on faster. The loss of a high quality mate hurts more than casual ones, that's for sure. Then there's grieving the relationship that never was.

    The romance that almost was. There was all of the potential that it could follow through but it never did. These can haunt you for a lifetime. You were emotionally invested because you really wanted it to turn into something. You feel the heartache over something that will never be. You accept it. You understand it but there is no closure.

    Official breakup or not, we're human. Our feelings were valid. Maybe they ghosted you or never called you again. They found someone else and moved away. And yet, out of the blue, you mull them over. It gets better with time but they're never forgotten. The sad part is that they've probably never given you a second thought.
    Then you wonder, did I ever have that effect on someone out there. You ignored them but they're out there thinking about you. Oy vey.

    Yeah, I'm definitely no victim. I have done this to someone in the past. It's a vicious cycle that I never thought I would take part in again.

    I hope to reach a point where I can have a loose grip on whatever comes and goes. I grew up with all boys and a hard mother so I could definitely be wrong but it seems to me that some girls fantasize about being chased and I just want to be with someone I know won't leave when stuff gets hard.

    Anyways! Thanks for the insight. I appreciate what you had to say. :)
  • cedric_says
    cedric_says Posts: 26 Member
    brightresolve wrote: »
    cedric_says wrote: »
    Dang. Really feeling like she is the one who dodged the bullet today. Tomorrow will be better.

    If you take virtual hugs from women your mom's age, you get one for that. There is no need to beat yourself up. Our inner critics can turn vicious when we're already down, but a breakup is about a mix that isn't working not about who's right or wrong. Looking at what happened can be helpful or it can just suck you back down into bad energy. Keep your chin up and do your day, one day at a time. Put your heart into what feeds you. Then eventually, when you are ready, look around and see who else is there.

    Thank you @brightresolve ! Hug accepted. I appreciate the encouragement and support. Sometimes when your mind goes a little too deep into the past you need a hand out of the ditch.
  • cedric_says
    cedric_says Posts: 26 Member
    A friend of mine posted a quote the other day saying, "a flower does not wait for the bee, but blossoms and the bee comes".

    What that meant to me was I shouldn't be waiting around for something or someone to walk into my life. I should simply be meditating on becoming the best me and when the time is right, I will attract the right bee. :smile:
  • beachgal0626
    beachgal0626 Posts: 1,912 Member
    cedric_says wrote: »
    A friend of mine posted a quote the other day saying, "a flower does not wait for the bee, but blossoms and the bee comes".

    What that meant to me was I shouldn't be waiting around for something or someone to walk into my life. I should simply be meditating on becoming the best me and when the time is right, I will attract the right bee. :smile:

    Great way to look at things! :)

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