The fifth circle of hell...aka online dating

Ck103084
Ck103084 Posts: 139 Member
edited November 27 in Chit-Chat
I have entered the fifth circle of hell...online dating :|

I don't have my full name or real town down. I've already been offered 1 number so I could be sent D pics, told I looked like someone this guy [slept with] :s and messaged by some old dude that said he can do the abc's with his tongue. I'm not sure what the hell he's talking about and I'm not asking. Oh, there's also a 'houseboy' looking for a woman, collar included. If anyone's interested I can give you his page... I've also met a few cool guys who might actually turn out to be friends. Maybe.

Wow. And I thought I was weird. Apparently, I'm only mildly off from normal. lol. Anyway, this is my first jump into the 'pool' any advice?
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Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • Keto_Vampire
    Keto_Vampire Posts: 1,670 Member
    Seems like way too much uncertainty, lying, fake pics, half-truths, psychopaths, etc. to sort through to determine what is real vs. what is fabricated.
  • kbmnurse1
    kbmnurse1 Posts: 316 Member
    STOP.
  • Venus_88
    Venus_88 Posts: 112 Member
    I thought every one has their own collar lol
    I think a lot depends on the app you're using. If it is a free one there are more creeps out there.
    I have some good experience in online dating and see lot's of advantages of it, like you could get to know the other person a bit before meeting him/her in person.
  • Losingheather2018
    Losingheather2018 Posts: 2 Member
    Oh I've been there!! One time I almost met a guy who I found out just a year prior was arrested for rape, sexual battery, criminal confinement and the list goes on....He started acting weird and asking questions that made me second guess meeting him. I AM SO GLAD I DID!! There is a site called Doxpop.com and your able to do up to 6 FREE background checks a year. I know....it seems a little over the top trust me. But if I didn't do that might son might have lost his mom.....

    There are pros and cons to it, just follow your gut, and weed through them until you find a good one!! Ask the hard questions. I always talked to them for days on the site before giving my number to them. If they didn't like that, they obviously weren't looking for a true connection.
  • BrSpiritus
    BrSpiritus Posts: 190 Member
    I spent a couple of years and alot of money on eharmony only to be matched with a bunch of woman that were no match at all because they straight up lied on their profiles. I don't care how many points of compatibility there are, if one or both people are lying the system doesn't work. I gave up after 2 years and made a go of it alone and didn't date except for the Russian girl I met at work... she turned out to be a fruit loop.
  • Venus_88
    Venus_88 Posts: 112 Member
    Oh! And when you go on a date make sure there is at least one person (friend/family mamber) that knows where you are and who you are meeting with. I was also leaving my dates phone number to my friend.
  • kd_mazur
    kd_mazur Posts: 569 Member
    online dating is tough. I had quite a few frogs before I found a nice guy. Background checks and google are your friend.
  • Cassandraw3
    Cassandraw3 Posts: 1,214 Member
    I actually met my now husband through online dating. I signed up for plenty of fish on a whim after a break up. He was only supposed to be a rebound, but now we are married with a son. From my experience, the free websites are just guys that want to hook up. When I was on match.com, the men were of more quality, but the chemistry just wasn't there for me for the guys I met in person. Good luck! There are a lot of creepers out there (online and real world).
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    I would say look for personality within what they put on their profile. A lot of times you can weed them out on that alone. Talk on the phone not just text before meeting. And do searches on social media accounts. I learned that lesson late....lets say his anger issues were plastered on his fb page. But i unfortunately found out about them after 50 texts back to back of hateful rants. be careful but have fun with it.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    what sire are you using?
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    I tried online dating a couple of times. Match, and a couple of free ones. Got a couple of dates out of it, in the year I was on the first time. Second time, I couldn't handle the BS of the women, fake profiles, etc. and deleted my profile a couple of months in.

    I think some have good success if they are very picky and patient. But, I had had enough with it all and just decided I'd rather be single and happily unavailable since most women don't understand my schedule or work life.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »
    I tried online dating a couple of times. Match, and a couple of free ones. Got a couple of dates out of it, in the year I was on the first time. Second time, I couldn't handle the BS of the women, fake profiles, etc. and deleted my profile a couple of months in.

    I think some have good success if they are very picky and patient. But, I had had enough with it all and just decided I'd rather be single and happily unavailable since most women don't understand my schedule or work life.

    This was pretty much me, ended up well.
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »
    xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »
    I tried online dating a couple of times. Match, and a couple of free ones. Got a couple of dates out of it, in the year I was on the first time. Second time, I couldn't handle the BS of the women, fake profiles, etc. and deleted my profile a couple of months in.

    I think some have good success if they are very picky and patient. But, I had had enough with it all and just decided I'd rather be single and happily unavailable since most women don't understand my schedule or work life.

    This was pretty much me, ended up well.

    Friends of mine have done well with it too. Some played the game, and used it as a catalog of potential conquests. For me, I just couldn't deal with the negatives of it. Add to it that I have two jobs where I'm on call, and have to leave at a moment's notice, most said they wouldn't put up with it. The couple who said they would, once it happened to them, they didn't like it.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    That being said, there are diamonds in the rough. . I've met some. . I've been on and off for years and I still am hopeful!
  • Breezybreeze7
    Breezybreeze7 Posts: 1,044 Member
    I have met a few crazies from online and made a few friends but actually found my recent boyfriend in RL accidentally. So online dating can be fun, helpful, and sometimes scary.
  • tbright1965
    tbright1965 Posts: 852 Member
    I met my wife online. We just celebrated our 11th anniversary. Success is out there. The odds are good but some of the goods are odd.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    Cameron_1969 wrote: »
    When you connect with someone online, don't get too excited. . Once you know you want to meet them, just meet them. . Don't have three weeks of back and forth. . The sooner you meet, the better, because when they're nothing like they portrayed. . you don't have to have this difficult guilt-ridden drawn-out breakup where you get called all kinds of names and made to feel like a jerk.

    This is the hard part, there is a middle ground thats hard to find. Talking enough to vet out the wierdos before they get the chance to try to kidnap you, and not so much you get invested in someone you never actually met.
  • AmberGlitterSparkles
    AmberGlitterSparkles Posts: 699 Member
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    The decent ones will be patient and understand any hesitation you may have. Anyone being pushy is probably no good

    This is true. I met my other half on a dating site. I went through a lot of frogs first though haha
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
    Cassandraw3 wrote: »
    I actually met my now husband through online dating. I signed up for plenty of fish on a whim after a break up. He was only supposed to be a rebound, but now we are married with a son. From my experience, the free websites are just guys that want to hook up. When I was on match.com, the men were of more quality, but the chemistry just wasn't there for me for the guys I met in person. Good luck! There are a lot of creepers out there (online and real world).

    You had better luck on Match than I did, in three months I had married men, cat-fish, men with Peter Pan syndrome and the last straw was the guy with a criminal record of assault and cyber stalking. I did actually talk on the phone with one guy, relatively normal, just different energy levels, and he faded into the background. I deleted my account, chalked the wasted money as lesson learned, and joined some Meetup groups instead. I might not be dating, but I'm making new friends, getting out of the house and being social.
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    I'm not on any online dating sites but I might join one when I'm at goal weight.

    I'll text/email/message for no longer than three days. After that a plan will have to be in place to meet in person. Not interested in endless electronic communication, what a bore. Not interested in long distance. No Skyping. It adds 10 pounds.

    I don't allow men to pick me up in their vehicle, I'd get myself to the meeting place and back home again. The introductory meeting would happen in a public place and not involve alcohol. No getting in cars with men I barely know, no booze, no meeting in homes or apartments or on some wooded trail ffs. Obviously there would be no sexual contact without a commitment and a panel of bloodtests. Commitment means marital commitment within my belief system.

    People who know their own boundaries and respect them have managed to date with a certain modicum of safety this way for years. Worst thing that can happen is there isn't a romantic connection and a friendship develops instead.

    I guess the annoyance is deleting the perverts who want to discuss sexually explicit themes and make sexual propositions to strangers.

    Other than that, it could be as viable a dating option as any other method. I suppose it's still a needle in a haystack but, meh. There's still real life, face to face connections to be made too so there are always more options.

    The online world has both made things easier, yet far more complex and dangerous in a way. Easier in that you get to potentially meet more people than you would otherwise. But, it also complicates things since you have so much more BS to contend with.

    I think women have to contend with much more of the negative then men. But, it is still out there for both. Some of the stories I hear of what women have experienced with online dating, and just an online presence in general, are terrible. While not shocked about the behavior of some people, it can be sickening that some people think it's okay to do said things.
  • Teamleslie
    Teamleslie Posts: 112 Member
    Tried it for a week and HATED it. Im just old fashioned. And my standards are probably too high. 😕
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    edited July 2018
    I had nothing but good experiences, but that was some 8ish years ago. I'm a straight guy, so maybe it's different/easier for me than it is for others?
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    Part of me feels like I should just get comfy with just myself and my cats. :lol:
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    I never had any luck with it in the past but am trying it again. Several of my close friends met their now husbands on there. It does seem like I mostly attract the attention of way older guys, which sucks.
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