The fifth circle of hell...aka online dating

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  • Breezybreeze7
    Breezybreeze7 Posts: 1,044 Member
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    I have met a few crazies from online and made a few friends but actually found my recent boyfriend in RL accidentally. So online dating can be fun, helpful, and sometimes scary.
  • tbright1965
    tbright1965 Posts: 852 Member
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    I met my wife online. We just celebrated our 11th anniversary. Success is out there. The odds are good but some of the goods are odd.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
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    Cameron_1969 wrote: »
    When you connect with someone online, don't get too excited. . Once you know you want to meet them, just meet them. . Don't have three weeks of back and forth. . The sooner you meet, the better, because when they're nothing like they portrayed. . you don't have to have this difficult guilt-ridden drawn-out breakup where you get called all kinds of names and made to feel like a jerk.

    This is the hard part, there is a middle ground thats hard to find. Talking enough to vet out the wierdos before they get the chance to try to kidnap you, and not so much you get invested in someone you never actually met.
  • AmberGlitterSparkles
    AmberGlitterSparkles Posts: 699 Member
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    lstrat115 wrote: »
    The decent ones will be patient and understand any hesitation you may have. Anyone being pushy is probably no good

    This is true. I met my other half on a dating site. I went through a lot of frogs first though haha
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
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    Cassandraw3 wrote: »
    I actually met my now husband through online dating. I signed up for plenty of fish on a whim after a break up. He was only supposed to be a rebound, but now we are married with a son. From my experience, the free websites are just guys that want to hook up. When I was on match.com, the men were of more quality, but the chemistry just wasn't there for me for the guys I met in person. Good luck! There are a lot of creepers out there (online and real world).

    You had better luck on Match than I did, in three months I had married men, cat-fish, men with Peter Pan syndrome and the last straw was the guy with a criminal record of assault and cyber stalking. I did actually talk on the phone with one guy, relatively normal, just different energy levels, and he faded into the background. I deleted my account, chalked the wasted money as lesson learned, and joined some Meetup groups instead. I might not be dating, but I'm making new friends, getting out of the house and being social.
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    I'm not on any online dating sites but I might join one when I'm at goal weight.

    I'll text/email/message for no longer than three days. After that a plan will have to be in place to meet in person. Not interested in endless electronic communication, what a bore. Not interested in long distance. No Skyping. It adds 10 pounds.

    I don't allow men to pick me up in their vehicle, I'd get myself to the meeting place and back home again. The introductory meeting would happen in a public place and not involve alcohol. No getting in cars with men I barely know, no booze, no meeting in homes or apartments or on some wooded trail ffs. Obviously there would be no sexual contact without a commitment and a panel of bloodtests. Commitment means marital commitment within my belief system.

    People who know their own boundaries and respect them have managed to date with a certain modicum of safety this way for years. Worst thing that can happen is there isn't a romantic connection and a friendship develops instead.

    I guess the annoyance is deleting the perverts who want to discuss sexually explicit themes and make sexual propositions to strangers.

    Other than that, it could be as viable a dating option as any other method. I suppose it's still a needle in a haystack but, meh. There's still real life, face to face connections to be made too so there are always more options.

    The online world has both made things easier, yet far more complex and dangerous in a way. Easier in that you get to potentially meet more people than you would otherwise. But, it also complicates things since you have so much more BS to contend with.

    I think women have to contend with much more of the negative then men. But, it is still out there for both. Some of the stories I hear of what women have experienced with online dating, and just an online presence in general, are terrible. While not shocked about the behavior of some people, it can be sickening that some people think it's okay to do said things.
  • Teamleslie
    Teamleslie Posts: 112 Member
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    Tried it for a week and HATED it. Im just old fashioned. And my standards are probably too high. 😕
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    edited July 2018
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    I had nothing but good experiences, but that was some 8ish years ago. I'm a straight guy, so maybe it's different/easier for me than it is for others?
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
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    Part of me feels like I should just get comfy with just myself and my cats. :lol:
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
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    I never had any luck with it in the past but am trying it again. Several of my close friends met their now husbands on there. It does seem like I mostly attract the attention of way older guys, which sucks.
  • tbright1965
    tbright1965 Posts: 852 Member
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    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I never had any luck with it in the past but am trying it again. Several of my close friends met their now husbands on there. It does seem like I mostly attract the attention of way older guys, which sucks.

    Hey now, nothing wrong with older, established guys who are about keeping themselves in shape.
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
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    tbright1965 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I never had any luck with it in the past but am trying it again. Several of my close friends met their now husbands on there. It does seem like I mostly attract the attention of way older guys, which sucks.

    Hey now, nothing wrong with older, established guys who are about keeping themselves in shape.

    In my demographic, older guys are looking for a nurse with a purse.
  • pudgy1977
    pudgy1977 Posts: 13,499 Member
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    I've met some really decent people on line. Nothing serious so far, but I am not calling it quits yet
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    tbright1965 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I never had any luck with it in the past but am trying it again. Several of my close friends met their now husbands on there. It does seem like I mostly attract the attention of way older guys, which sucks.

    Hey now, nothing wrong with older, established guys who are about keeping themselves in shape.

    Damn right!

    I'm established.





    I'm also a shape.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    pudgy1977 wrote: »
    I've met some really decent people on line. Nothing serious so far, but I am not calling it quits yet


    ... have you looked up your local maximum security penitentiary ?

    it could be a slugfest !
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
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    Motorsheen wrote: »
    pudgy1977 wrote: »
    I've met some really decent people on line. Nothing serious so far, but I am not calling it quits yet


    ... have you looked up your local maximum security penitentiary ?

    it could be a slugfest !

    This! You'd get so much toilet wine you'd never have to buy a drink again.
  • rose2_0
    rose2_0 Posts: 150 Member
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    Which site/app is it? Some are trashier than others (this coming from someone who has used them on and off for 6 years).

    I don't know. I get some dumb messages. I've met some really amazing and fun men though.
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
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    pudgy1977 wrote: »
    I've met some really decent people on line. Nothing serious so far, but I am not calling it quits yet

    Hook me up?
  • TheWeakFace
    TheWeakFace Posts: 75 Member
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    Why do it if it’s hell?

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