Are you ever jealous of others successes?

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mitzi2013
mitzi2013 Posts: 47 Member
edited July 2018 in Motivation and Support
I feel like I am just crippling myself with jealousy. My sister got gastric bypass a few months ago. I'm truly happy for her because she really needed it. But for the first time in 40 years I'm the only fat one and that's a lot harder for me than I thought it would be. As I watch the weight fall off of her it just makes me more and more miserable with myself. I know the smartest answer to this is eat right and exercise and I can lose weight too!! Obviously it just isn't that easy for me. I'm a grown *kitten* woman and I still sneak food when my kids and husband aren't home. Just this morning I worked out for an hour and a half then came home and ate 2 donuts. What the hell is wrong with me?!! In a perfect world I would be happy for everyone who's doing well AND I'd be strong enough to do well myself. I'm so ashamed of my jealousy.
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Replies

  • xfc1
    xfc1 Posts: 69 Member
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    Yes but it's unrelated to weight loss. Jealousy is a normal emotion, we're all blessed with it in varying degrees. Even animals get jealous.

    Anyway...

    Try to not get too worked up worrying about your jealousy. It'll drain your mental energy resources. You need that for weight loss.
  • Candyspun
    Candyspun Posts: 370 Member
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    There’s no need to be jealous. If you want to lose weight, you can, but it’s up to you to do the work, and that has absolutely nothing to do with your sister. All your sister has done is shown you what you want. Instead of seeing her as a source of jealousy, see her as your inspiration.
  • PeachBean
    PeachBean Posts: 10 Member
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    I get jealous all the time of everything. It's frustrating to watch yourself sabotage what you spent the last few hours/days/weeks working on and having you and brain just decide "Eh, screw it. What can it hurt?" when other people seem to stay consistently motivated and never give themselves a break. The way I avoided the doughnut problem (although I supposed this is harder living with a family) was literally purging my house of all crappy food and only allowing myself to eat it when I go out to eat with friends or family (which is once a week-ish).
  • Fursian
    Fursian Posts: 524 Member
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    Candyspun wrote: »
    There’s no need to be jealous. If you want to lose weight, you can, but it’s up to you to do the work, and that has absolutely nothing to do with your sister. All your sister has done is shown you what you want. Instead of seeing her as a source of jealousy, see her as your inspiration.

    Agreeing with this.

    I'm sorry you are having a difficult time with this right now mitzi, jealousy does indeed lurk within all of us, in varying degrees and strengths. Since we'll always be up against "comparison", we can only really start to change the way we react to the situation, that is something we ourselves do have power over.

    If you're really wanting help in regards to your weight, stick around mfp, read all that you can and don't be afraid to ask questions here.

    You can do it.
  • Ardael
    Ardael Posts: 245 Member
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    Find an old picture of yourself preferably at your fattest and use this for comparison.

    I'm an extremely jealous person and I totally relate. I know that forcing myself not to think about it is not working. Jealousy can be very petty, and sometimes only pettiness can help go though it. Remind yourself that by doing it right you won't get surgical scars or be at risk of surgical complications. That doing it slow and naturally gives you better chance of your skin getting its elasticity back, that it gives you lifetime good habits for you and whoever you will have influence upon, etc.

    And eventually you'll grow out of it and you'll be happier with yourself and won't need to be jealous or anything. :)

    Go to the "what's your petty reason to lose weight" thread as well it's a bit of comic relief but also you'll find other people with similar experiences and maybe you can friend them.

    Good luck with the rest !
  • allison8668
    allison8668 Posts: 885 Member
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    I typically will become jealous of other people's successes when I don't have any of my own. When I have things I'm working on, am achieving my goals, and feel self fulfilled, then I can be happy for everyone !
  • Mrsindepenant1
    Mrsindepenant1 Posts: 196 Member
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    Yup I get jealous, although I’m still happy for others success!
    I was always tiny and friends were always telling me how jealous they were, I could eat and drink as much as I liked and the scale wouldn’t budge. After having my son almost 4yrs ago I have struggled really bad with my weight. Everyone told me I would get back to my tiny self after I had him but it never happened. I see mums that have 3 kids and are tiny and it makes me crazy jealous and insecure. That’s why I started using MFP. Time to get the old me back!
  • Breezybreeze7
    Breezybreeze7 Posts: 1,044 Member
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    Not necessarily jealous, but I look at other people’s photos and I get frustrated at myself. Then I work out like crazy and get so sore or hurt myself to the point of not being able to exercise for several days. Vicious cycle on myself.
  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
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    Try to remember that her weight loss journey will be different from yours but that doesn't mean you both won't arrive. Many people after gastric bypass have challenges once they get the weight off. You may take a different road but once you get there you may have less health issues to content with. Take one step at a time. If you fail by eating something you hadn't intended try to balance it out with a lighter meal when you next eat. You will have to find a path that works for you. Each of us has to figure out WHY we overeat and how to control it. This takes time. Don't give up. There's lots of support for you here.
  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
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    mitzi2013 wrote: »
    I feel like I am just crippling myself with jealousy. My sister got gastric bypass a few months ago. I'm truly happy for her because she really needed it. But for the first time in 40 years I'm the only fat one and that's a lot harder for me than I thought it would be. As I watch the weight fall off of her it just makes me more and more miserable with myself. I know the smartest answer to this is eat right and exercise and I can lose weight too!! Obviously it just isn't that easy for me. I'm a grown *kitten* woman and I still sneak food when my kids and husband aren't home. Just this morning I worked out for an hour and a half then came home and ate 2 donuts. What the hell is wrong with me?!! In a perfect world I would be happy for everyone who's doing well AND I'd be strong enough to do well myself. I'm so ashamed of my jealousy.

    I wouldn’t say you’re ‘jealous’ of anyone, but more frustrated with yourself. Some people just have a bad relationship with food. Therapy is probably your best bet for figuring out the ‘why’ of your eating habits. It’s a form of disordered eating and a professional will be able to target the real reason you’re reaching for instant sugar; could be a mental reason like stress, or could be a physical reason like sleep deprivation.

    I’m in the exact same boat as you. Ate good for 3 days, just devoured the contents of my fridge an hour ago.
    Try looking for support groups near you.
  • peaceout_aly
    peaceout_aly Posts: 2,018 Member
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    Use the jealousy to fuel your own fitness & health journey. I like to use others as my motivation, but only within means.
  • mmigle29
    mmigle29 Posts: 10 Member
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    I was a fat child and when i was a teenager, my wish every night would be to wake up thin. Oh well, it never happened, but it made me realize that some people have to put more effort to achieve what they want. It might not seem like lots of effort to others, but only the person that goes through it knows..
    Your sister went through surgery, which could have led to many complications, and cannot eat everything, or even drink, without getting sick. Grass is not greener on the other side. Everyone is struggling in one way or another. Jusy stay focused and you will be able to achieve what you want👍
  • TickleAnn
    TickleAnn Posts: 21 Member
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    I get it. I get tremendously jealous, too. What helps me is to think of the wonderful things I have (comfortable home, sweet DH) and that some thin women would kill to have what I have. I don't mean this in a "Nyah, nyah, thin women" way, but that most of us have something which at least one person wants. I'm not happy with my weight, but someone who weighs 50 pounds more would love to be where I am.
  • Crashdown1916
    Crashdown1916 Posts: 3 Member
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    I’m the same but it also
    Motivates me ! Since I see someone lose weight I want it too ! But honestly I understand what you mean its hard not to feel that way .
  • bufger
    bufger Posts: 763 Member
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    Looking at pictures of me at my biggest helps spur me on. I have a really shameful one on the fridge so I can't snack without seeing the eventual consequences.

    Now I have treats but I plan them in to my day. I don't have any unplanned food :)

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