LFM - comfort eating, depression, and PTSD

So I’ve been using this app for about two months now, and I’d love to make some more friends.

I am a veteran and struggled with ptsd and resulting depression after leaving the military. I always put on a happy face and used humour and sarcasm to hide my inner sadness. I left the military and made it through law school but instead of turning to drugs and alcohol like many others, I abused food. Between August 2012 and May 2018, I went from about 210lbs to 296lbs. I was a little chubby at 210, I was fat at 296.

I had gone from being super fit in the infantry and in decent shape when I switched to the navy, to embarrassingly fat. I hadn’t let people take pictures of me in ages. I started isolating myself from friends and family. In early May of 2018, a five year old nephew slapped by stomach and announced that I had a fat belly. I hid my inner shame imitating fat b@st@rd from Austin Powers and making all the kids laugh. I left the wedding festivities and returned to my temporary home in the far north, determined to make changes.

In that thought process, I asked myself how I got here, how did I get so fat? But that was silly, I knew how I got there. It wasn’t some surprise that popped up out of nowhere.

I had spent the last 6 years being inactive and neglecting my dietary needs. The last four years were the worst of it as I spiralled out of control, eating my way through ptsd and depression, isolating myself, and being completely sedentary. I found myself going to Mac Donald’s and ordering for two or three people and then eating it all myself. I rarely left the office except when I had to, and barely opened the door or moved around except to take my dog outside or open the door to accept the takeout or pizza I would have delivered every two to three days. It was sad. I was sad. But May 6th 2018 was a day of realization, reconciliation, and actions and decisions that would lead me to revitalization. I returned home, emptied my fridge, and started anew.

Healthy eating has been a huge part of this, and gradually increasing my exercise and activity levels have helped me make excellent progress on weight loss and overall body recompostion. I’ve lost 33lbs over 9 weeks and intend on continuing.

I’ve been posting on Instagram almost daily and am looking forward to 8 more weeks before I post my first before and after pictures in early September. I only recently posted my first recent full body picture as I fit into a suit I haven’t fit into in 3 years. I still cringe when I look at the before pictures. I’m ashamed of how heavy I got, and proud of how much progress I’ve made so far - but it's still hard to look at myself before. I’m sure others share that sentiment.