My Weightloss Makes People Angry...& That Makes me Happy! :-D
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I don't think it's jealousy outright, per se. I have been thinking about this lately because of an exchange I recently read on Facebook. A friend of mine has been working on losing weight recently and posted that he was proud to have finally made it out of the obese category for BMI. Another woman posted that he shouldn't focus so much on BMI because it likely wasn't accurate: according to her BMI she was obese, but, according to her, she clearly was only a little bit overweight. She received a lot of comments that agreed with her, so out of curiosity I visited her Facebook page to look at her pictures. First I want to note, the friend I mentioned earlier is someone who I was surprised to find out was considered obese, he had always looked a bit overweight but not morbidly so. This woman, on the other hand, was not someone like that. She was very clearly obese, and it was quite obvious. It seemed to me that she and the people agreeing with her seemed to have a very distorted perception of themselves and what is healthy and I think that plays a huge role in these types of comments. If you see yourself as "just needing the lose a few pounds," it's hard to come to terms with the fact that someone your size or smaller than you sees the need to start or continue losing weight. The natural reaction is therefore to protect one's self assessment by assuming there must be something wrong with the other person: it can't be that one is, themselves, also obese, it must be that the other person is too thin and has a distorted self image.
It also might be that being a bit self-centered is part of human nature. We all spend so much time analyzing and thinking about ourselves and our own lives that we assume others think about us just as much. When someone smaller than you says they want to lose weight, you wonder "if they think they are fat, what do they think of me?!" In reality, they probably don't think about us or our weight all that much. It's the same reason we think that person behind us in line must be snickering to themselves about us rather than a funny joke they heard earlier, or why we think that cute guy across the coffee shop is staring at us, rather than the nice painting behind us. A good way to deal with this might be to find a way to assure them that your weightloss has nothing to do with anyone but yourself.22 -
I hear you i get this in the forums all the time when i ask for guidance. Im 146lb now 175cm tall and i want to drop another 21lbs. As if they were doctors they say to stop before i end up in the hospital or something similar. If atheletes can get there at my height i dont see why i can't. Its not like i intend 126lbs to be my weight with proper hydration and food in my system. I intend to be 135lbs with food and water in my system. People just dont get the idea that im trying to build a body that can gain weight to 135lbs before a 100k road race and come out of the hills at 129lbs and finish the race sprinting at 127lbs... smh i hate when people talk as if they are doctors.4
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Maybe they are not angry, maybe they are worried about your health. Losing weight can get addictive and lead some people to not realize they are losing too much.
Maybe you should try and understand why they are saying that. Ask them... ?
My husband lost too much weight, everyone thinks he is sick but no one dares say anything. He looks ten years older and has become very unattractive to me. He gets very angry at me when I say anything. Which makes me think he is addicted to losing weight, having this control over his body. He also thinks people are just jealous of him but we are just worried.
Hope you find a solution, that leads you to a more peaceful set of mind.
Wow I could have wrote this! My husband lost a ton of weight without trying, everyone was truly worried but no one except me would say anything! He looked terrible and it aged him at least 10 years. People that hadn't seen him for awhile would ask him if he was ok and he wouldnt think anything of it. He has finally gained back 30lbs and looks great and NOW everyone tells him how ill he looked before and how he now looks so much better with his weight gain!1 -
I get the same comments from friends and family. I just ignore them and do what I want with my body.0
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