Lying to friends and family about weighing myself

checkmatekingtwo
checkmatekingtwo Posts: 117 Member
edited July 2018 in Health and Weight Loss
Serial dieter here ... have in the past tried so many different diets with temporary success, only to gain it back again.

This time, I'm not doing a diet, really doing the life change. I started in February this year (on Valentine's Day), and have lost 51 pounds so far. But I didn't tell ANYONE I was "dieting" or making any changes.

People started to notice after I'd lost about 30 pounds, and when they ask how much I've lost, I tell them I don't know, I'm not weighing myself, just making changes and trusting to the process.

THAT IS A LIE. Well, not the "trusting the process" part, but, yes, I am weighing myself regularly.

I just didn't want to get into the awful weekly "helpful support" I used to get from my Mother and one of my best friends. Every Monday they'd ask how much I'd lost this week, and give my pity or high fives depending on the answer. In previous weight loss journeys, I'd find I'd be dreading seeing them on weigh in day if I didn't have something good to report, even to the point that sometimes I lied just to avoid the pity and unsolicited advice on what I could do better next week. These are people who never can accept that weight loss is not linear.

So, this time, I lie. They find it hard to believe I can't be weighing myself (well, they are right). But I just say I judge success by how I feel and how my clothes fit. At first, Mom then started asking me each week about my clothes (ah, mothers, gotta love 'em). But she's finally stopped that.

I'm feeling kind of bad about lying, but I'm so much happier with that weekly pressure taken off me! I'm making a change in my life, it's not a weekly race, and it's so much easier without friends and family treating my life like a weekly contest or reality show.

So, have you deliberately lied to loved ones about your weight loss journey?
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Replies

  • apullum
    apullum Posts: 4,888 Member
    I didn’t quite lie about my weight loss, but I did give vague answers to relatives who made negative comments. Your weight is none of their business. If relatives keep pushing it, you can say, “My doctor thinks I’m doing great!” and leave it at that. If they’re genuinely concerned about your well being, then that’s all they need to know.
  • Running_and_Coffee
    Running_and_Coffee Posts: 811 Member
    apullum wrote: »
    I feel like being honest holds me accountable. If I tell someone in April that I am trying to lose weight, and then fall off the wagon in May, that means people who see me in June could potentially follow up with me and ask how it's going. Not wanting to say, "Actually, I gave up on that!" is enough of a deterrent to keep me on plan.

    I also don't like not being honest in general. I don't like being afraid of what the truth is and how people will react to it. It's part of an overall change in my life where I've become more assertive and feel more comfortable saying how I feel and worrying less about whether my needs/thoughts are inconveniencing other people. So I now try to answer truthfully whenever I can just because my natural, eager-to-please tendency is to say things that won't rock the boat.

    I think being accountable is great if it helps you, but I also think there’s a difference between being accountable vs. feeling pressured to tell unsupportive people about your weight. Accountability doesn’t have to mean you talk honestly about your weight to *everyone* unless you want it to mean that. It can just be about choosing a few people with whom you will share your progress, and those people committing to checking in with you regularly. I think a relationship of accountability is a different type of relationship than the ones OP described, since OP doesn’t find those relationships supportive of their weight loss process.

    Yes, I think the most important thing is to protect herself from anything and anyone who will sabotage her weight loss efforts. However, for me personally, there is a connection between asserting my own truth without apology and keeping the promise to myself to follow my plan. I find that the more open and honest I am, the more likely I am to take good care of myself. Not that it's like that for everyone, of course! OP needs to do what she needs to do. I just found it was an interesting revelation for me, that's all!
  • HeyJudii
    HeyJudii Posts: 256 Member
    Been there, done that. Work what works for you and your situation.
  • allisonlane161
    allisonlane161 Posts: 269 Member
    Maybe I wouldn't lie flat out, but say something like, "You're just noticing I've gotten a lot taller." They'll probably get the hint at that point.
  • mountainmare
    mountainmare Posts: 294 Member
    I am doing the same thing--when people ask if I've lost weight I just say that I'm more active in the summer. That's not technically a lie.
  • motivatedmartha
    motivatedmartha Posts: 1,108 Member
    @checkmatekingtwo I fully understand why you would not want to get into a discussion about weighing, how much lost etc. After all, the actual weight we end up is really something between us and perhaps our doctor. People being helpful and supportive can be a pain - however well meaning. I never tell people I am dieting any more - I don't need 3rd party analysis of what I eat, especially by people who may not have a clue themselves. I am glad and encouraged by support from my mfp friends - other than that, as far as the world is concerned 'What diet?' If someone comments that I have lost weight I just say 'Oh, perhaps a bit, thank you' and move on. Fortunately my weight loss has been slow, interrupted, reversed and then back on so people have kind of got used to me at a whole variety of weights :D You do what works for you - it really is a very unimportant untruth and is not designed to harm anyone - or even mislead them about anything much. Good luck as you carry on losing.
  • mnbvcxzlkjhgfdsa12
    mnbvcxzlkjhgfdsa12 Posts: 205 Member
    People lie about all sorts of things, much worse lies than yours! So I really would worry about that.

    It’s your choice who you tell about you weight loss journey, and it’s fine if that means telling no one. In fact if this is a lifestyle change forever, and not a fad, then it might very well be something you just do with no fanfare.

    Having said that, be glad you have people who care around you. Are they annoying? is it sometimes counter productive? Sure! But you’re still lucky to have them in your corner. 😀