Obese and not losing weight

Amandachanges
Amandachanges Posts: 91 Member
edited November 27 in Motivation and Support
Hi all! This is actually my first post on here. Ashame it’s on such a negative note. My name is Amanda. Im 38 years old. I’m 5’5.5” tall and weigh in at 229lbs. I started my new lifestyle on July 6th after a health scare. Nothing can cause you to change the way you live like the fear of dying. I’m a single mother of 4 beautiful children who really need me (their father is out of the picture entirely). So on July 6th I went from my fast food/soda/eat what I want lifestyle to one of my own making. Based on my health scare, I decided to go low fat/high fiber. I’ve done the low carb thing before, but I simply cannot eat that much fat. On my new plan I counted fiber grams, trying to get over 20 a day...fat grams, aiming for under 25g a day, and although I counted calories, I didn’t need to worry because limiting your fat grams will naturally make it practically impossible to overindulge in calories. From July 6th - July 21st I went from 238.6 lbs down to 227.0 lbs. I was feeling great! I was eating frequent meals full of healthy foods. I wasn’t ever hungry. Problem was, I wasn’t getting in enough calories. My daily caloric intake rambled between 680kcals up to 950kcals. It was a struggle to hit the 950. All was well though. I was dropping weight consistently, had more energy, and my previous IBS symptoms had completely gone away, along with my erosive gastritis which had been making my life a nightmare. Then the day came that I was supposed to start my period. I have a very regular 28 day cycle, and I track like a mad person because I’m currently trying to conceive. That’s when the ball dropped. My period was late. Not one day late, but two days! I was ecstatic! Thoughts of babies danced in my head, because my period is NEVER late unless I’m pregnant! I took a pregnancy test and...nope. Definitely not pregnant. 1 hour on Google later and it was apparent to me that my very low calorie lifestyle was to blame for my late period. Now let me be clear, I want another baby much more than I want to slip back into a pair of size 6 jeans, so that day I resolved to eat more...more calories, and more fat. I went up to 1,150-1,200 calories a day, and increased my daily fat intake to 35-45g. The next day, lo-and-behold, my period came. I was thrilled! I noticed the scale went up, but hey...period weight-gain, right? Nope. My period came and went and I am STILL gaining weight. I’m now back up to 229 lbs. Yesterday was 228.4, the day before that was 227.6. Seeing a trend? The only caveat is that I am not exercising...at all. However, I was not exercising early on in July, when the weight was just falling off of me effortlessly. All excuses aside (depression and lack of free-time), I know I need to get my fat butt back to the gym. That said, weight-loss is supposedly 90% diet and 10% exercise. I’m currently eating about 1,200 calories a day while being nearly 100 lbs overweight. If 3,500kcals =1 lb. I should be losing, at a minimum, 4lbs. a week. While I know that losing that much isn’t recommended, healthy, or sustainable...you needn’t worry, because I’m somehow managing to actively gain weight. This is depressing, frustrating, and making me feel powerless. I have Hashimoto’s Hypothyroidism, but I’m taking my thyroid hormones, and my tsh is well within normal (always between 1.8-3.0). I also have the doctor run full thyroid panels quarterly, and all of the numbers are good. So I can’t really use that as an excuse. I went out yesterday and bought a new pair of gym shoes and some socks, as prior I only owned a pair of flip-flops (my oldest son wore holes in my old shoes). I’m ready to start hitting the gym this week, with my start day aimed for Thursday. That’s all well and good, but at the same time, that’s going to make my caloric deficit even greater. Yes, I know, add in a pre and post workout protein shakes...but that almost seems counterintuitive. Spend an hour at the gym burning calories only to drink them right back? Will that somehow “kickstart” my metabolism like some kind of magic bullet? Even if it does, that doesn’t explain my current trend of weight gain. Even people who are morbidly obese, who can’t exercise, who are sitting on their butts all day due to health issues, will lose weight when put on a calorie-restricted diet. Why not me? Should I go back to eating under 25g of fat? And if I do, how on earth am I supposed to eat 1,200 calories a day while limiting my fat intake to that degree (when I did earlier this month it was impossible for me to even hit 1,000 calories)? I’m lost and depressed. I’m eating foods I dislike, eating frequently, drinking loads of water, completely cut out fast food, completely cut out soda, etc...yet I’m gaining the weight back...incrementally, every morning. What do I do? Anyone want to be my weight loss partner? Anyone have any insight into what I’m doing wrong?

Thanks in advance, and sorry for the wall of text. It feels so good just to share all of this, as I’m pretty alone in my troubles, and in life.

Amanda
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Replies

  • Amandachanges
    Amandachanges Posts: 91 Member
    livingleanlivingclean wrote: »
    Youve lost nearly 10lbs from July 6. That is not "not losing weight".

    Losing weight requires patience and consistency. Pick a sensible calorie goal and eat that amount - you don't need to restrict calories to nothing, that's ridiculous. You don't need to cut out food you enjoy, and losing weight doesn't require eating food you dislike. There are plenty of delicious calorie friendly foods, and you can fit in more decadent things with careful planning. I wouldn't recommend eating such low fat - fat is essential for so many functions in the body. It doesn't need to be high fat like if you were to eat in a keto way, but you need to nourish and fuel your body.

    Understanding that weight loss will not happen linearly is helpful - fluctuations are completely normal. It's the overall trend that is important. If you weigh every day, input your weight in to a trending app so you can see the general trend and ignore the fluctuations.
    Thank you for the response. I realize that losing nearly 10 lbs in a moth is good...my issue is that it’s creeping back on. Also, if I’m gaining back weight while eating like a hospitalized cardiac patient, what’s going to happen if I add in the foods I enjoy (essentially cheeseburgers, French fries, salad with REAL dressing and cheese)? What is a sensible calorie goal? MFP told me 1,200 is acceptable, so I’ve been eating around that level (usually within 50calories). According to those figures I should be losing 2+ lbs a week. I’ve gained 2lbs. I know weight loss has fluctuations, but usually it fluctuates down as well...at this rate I’ll be back to my start weight in less than a month.Oh, and the low fat is for health reasons (I suspect chronic pancreatitis, but doctor won’t do further testing). Eating around 5g fat per meal (or less) takes the pain away and regulates my bowel movements.
  • tomorrowperfume
    tomorrowperfume Posts: 67 Member
    I can feel how overwhelmed you are through this post. I'm a huggy person, so I'm sending you a digital hug *right now*.

    Your weight will naturally go up a few pounds during your period.

    The weight you lost so quickly and are gaining back just as quickly? Most of that was what we call "water weight". Your body retains fluid based on several different factors, like the amount of exercise you're getting, your menstrual cycle, and your sodium intake. When you diet, you usually eat less processed and less salty foods. As your salt intake decreases, your body will release some of that excess water you were already holding onto. When you start your period, your body retains more water for esoteric lady reasons that I do not understand. After a couple of days, your weight will slowly start inching back down. When you start exercising, your body will retain more water as part of the muscle-building process. It's all a cycle.

    You can read more about water weight here: https://www.health.com/weight-loss/water-weight

    Now, back to you and your struggles. If you eat under 1,200 calories, it's really bad for your body. It's not getting enough calories to function. I realize that the starvation diet works, not only will it lead you to malnutrition but it will be bad for your baby if you get pregnant.

    The other advice given here for weight loss, including reading some of the pinned posts, is very helpful. I would suggest having a look at those.

    By the way, exercise is not *necessary* for weight loss, but it certainly is necessary to improve your overall health. I would recommend getting in any kind of exercise possible, even a short walk around the mall. Whatever gets your heart rate up and leaves you a little short of breath.

    You've started on the weight loss journey, and that's a tough and courageous first step. Good luck, and I really hope that you start feeling better.
  • Amandachanges
    Amandachanges Posts: 91 Member
    ZephieC wrote: »
    Are you using a food scale and weighing your food? A calorie deficit is all you need to lose weight. The first time I lost 30 lbs I didn't pay any attention to the macros and I didn't exercise. I stopped tracking and gained it back. I just stated up again in June. Even now I am only mildly interested in the macros. I too have IBS so try to keep my fibre up but otherwise I don't worry too much about specific grams of anything. (I also have Hashimotos)
    I am trying to focus more on health and fitness this time around rather than food alone.
    I am 5'6" and have a desk job. MFP gives me 1290 calories to lose 1 lb per week. I usually walk 40 mins at lunch and do a 30 min exercise video in the evenings. I don't tend to eat back my exercise calories as I bank them for a more relaxed weekend. So far I have lost just under 9 lbs and just over 7". I weigh everyday day (usually) but I only record my weight once a week and I check my measurements once a week. (honestly I will show a weight loss than the whole week it will seem to go up and up and than when I weigh in again the following "official day" it is back down. Fluctuations are normal)
    The key is to find a sustainable way that works for you. And be aware than starting a new exercise program will cause some water retention so don't freak out if you don't lose after starting at the gym.
    You sound overwhelmed in your post but this is something you can definitely do. Maybe just simplify the process a bit and lower your expectations. It will come in time if you just keep working at it.
    Yes, I’m weighing my foods. Most everything I eat is fool-proof (pre-measured cups of Greek yogurt, packaged frozen meals that are steam-cooked/low sodium/low fat/high fiber). If I don’t know all the macros on a food and can’t log it, I don’t eat it. That’s why I’m so confused. You lost 30 lbs cutting your calories without exercise. I have done the same in the past. I’m logging my calories and macros religiously, yet the weight is coming back on :( 1,150-1,200 calories a day at my weight...I should be losing weight by the boatload...not gaining it back.
  • tomorrowperfume
    tomorrowperfume Posts: 67 Member
    edited July 2018
    OP, I missed the part in your post where you said your period came and went and you hadn't lost any more weight. I'm not sure what the problem is here based on how you're eating. Maybe a medical problem? Do you have a dietitian or nutritionist you're seeing?
  • Amandachanges
    Amandachanges Posts: 91 Member
    tomorrowperfume wrote: »
    OP, I missed the part in your post where you said your period came and went and you hadn't lost any more weight. I'm not sure what the problem is here based on how you're eating. Maybe a medical problem? Do you have a dietitian or nutritionist you're seeing?
    I’ve seen dietitians in the past, and complained to doctors. Nothing comes of it and that is usually when I give up and go back to eating whatever I want. It’s like they think I must be lying.
  • Amandachanges
    Amandachanges Posts: 91 Member
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  • Amandachanges
    Amandachanges Posts: 91 Member
    The above screenshots give you a good idea of my typical macros and my weight trend.
  • Amandachanges
    Amandachanges Posts: 91 Member
    malibu927 wrote: »
    Amandachanges wrote: »
    The above screenshots give you a good idea of my typical macros and my weight trend.

    It's still not long enough to worry about gaining. https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10084670/it-is-unlikely-that-you-will-lose-weight-consistently-i-e-weight-loss-is-not-linear

    That said, you mentioned above that you're weighing your foods but the screen captures don't show that.
    The screen captures were days where all my food was pre-measured by the manufacturer. Like breakfast was a cup of triple zero Greek yogurt and a medium banana. Lunch was a healthy choice cafe steamer and a small apple, etc. I’m too afraid to make meals from recipes because how will I know exactly how many calories or what macros are in the portion I weigh out...like with beef stew or fiesta chicken. Any serving might have more sauce, or less veggies, or not as much meat.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,011 Member
    I can't be sure this is your problem OP, but it's a great couple of posts regardless:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10634517/you-dont-use-a-food-scale/p1

    Short answer, the volume measurements on a package (like a cup of cereal) can be quite different from the weighed serving size. And the weight is what the listed calories are correct for.

    I don't weigh most single serving packages, but I never trust "1 cup of", "1 medium", or the number of servings per package. They have led me wrong far too often. I found I was eating far more calories of cereal, oats, pasta, rice, etc than I thought. I found packages that said a serving was 1 fish fillet (4 oz.), and not one fillet was less than 5.5 oz.

    I really think a big part of the problem is the short time frame. You can't assume that every time the scale inches up every day in a week that means your diet isn't working and you are gaining it all back. I'd suggest 4-6 weeks of really careful, painfully accurate logging along with taking a step back and looking at the long term trends. And reading the pinned posts I mentioned.
  • Amandachanges
    Amandachanges Posts: 91 Member
    kimny72 wrote: »
    I can't be sure this is your problem OP, but it's a great couple of posts regardless:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10634517/you-dont-use-a-food-scale/p1

    Short answer, the volume measurements on a package (like a cup of cereal) can be quite different from the weighed serving size. And the weight is what the listed calories are correct for.

    I don't weigh most single serving packages, but I never trust "1 cup of", "1 medium", or the number of servings per package. They have led me wrong far too often. I found I was eating far more calories of cereal, oats, pasta, rice, etc than I thought. I found packages that said a serving was 1 fish fillet (4 oz.), and not one fillet was less than 5.5 oz.

    I really think a big part of the problem is the short time frame. You can't assume that every time the scale inches up every day in a week that means your diet isn't working and you are gaining it all back. I'd suggest 4-6 weeks of really careful, painfully accurate logging along with taking a step back and looking at the long term trends. And reading the pinned posts I mentioned.
    I agree, it probably has more to do with the short time frame. Even if I was recording and everything was actually 1.5 servings when I thought it was one, based on the low calorie food I’m eating, I should still be losing weight. Side note - there’s no way my logging is that far off.
    So I’ll keep eating as I am. Breakfast was Greek yogurt and a medium banana. Lunch will be a low fat deli meat sandwich on whole grain bread with Dijon mustard and another cup of Greek yogurt. Apple for a snack. Dinner will be a healthy choice steamer (beef merlot), and a heaping bowl of green beans. And as usual, I will struggle valiantly to hit 1,200 calories. Maybe I’ll wake up a pound heavier, or maybe there will be. 3 lb. “whoosh”. I’ll keep you guys updated, in case you’re interested.
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    Amandachanges wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    Amandachanges wrote: »
    The above screenshots give you a good idea of my typical macros and my weight trend.

    It's still not long enough to worry about gaining. https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10084670/it-is-unlikely-that-you-will-lose-weight-consistently-i-e-weight-loss-is-not-linear

    That said, you mentioned above that you're weighing your foods but the screen captures don't show that.
    The screen captures were days where all my food was pre-measured by the manufacturer. Like breakfast was a cup of triple zero Greek yogurt and a medium banana. Lunch was a healthy choice cafe steamer and a small apple, etc. I’m too afraid to make meals from recipes because how will I know exactly how many calories or what macros are in the portion I weigh out...like with beef stew or fiesta chicken. Any serving might have more sauce, or less veggies, or not as much meat.

    I agree with everyone that even things like Chex Mix and apples should be weighed out while you're diagnosing a stall, just to be sure. But I'm worried that you're afraid to eat foods that aren't premeasured. If you already have a food scale, the recipe builder on the site/app is so easy to use for homemade foods. You just weigh your ingredients as you add them to the dish, plug it all into the recipe builder, and then divide by the number of servings. If you want to get super accurate, a lot of us like to weigh the final dish and set the number of total grams as the serving, so that if, for instance, the total thing weighs 438 grams, but I take 120 grams as a serving, I can set the number of servings to 438 and then log 120 servings and it will do all the math for me.

    tl;dr: weighing is good, but if eating is causing you so much stress that you feel like there are things you can't eat because you can't weigh them then that's bad. There's a happy medium here that will be beneficial to find.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    Oh, sweetie, you sound so stressed. I had to pause while reading your OP to take deep breaths, so I can't imagine how it must feel to be in that mental space all the time.

    Our bodies tend to have some lag time in their reactions. Occasionally we see the immediate effects of a change (if I have a super-high sodium day, I know I'll immediately be up a few pounds), but for the most part, we make a change and then wait for our bodies to catch up. Making changes to your plan based on day-to-day feedback is like trying to ride a bike and react to every little stone in your path -- you end up swerving all over the dang place and you'll eventually fall off your bike.

    When you make changes to your plan, follow them consistently and give them at least 2-4 weeks to work. It really can take your body that long to adjust and catch up. The point of doing daily weigh-ins is to give you a lot of little data points, but they're meaningless in and of themselves. Their only function is to help you see the larger picture, so if they're making you crazy, weigh in weekly instead.

    Keep your eyes on the horizon and plan for the long term. Losing weight always takes longer than we think it will, and nobody can stick with it if they're also fighting mental stress the whole time. It'll be a much more pleasant experience for you if you can find a good headspace for yourself.
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    Amandachanges wrote: »
    livingleanlivingclean wrote: »
    Youve lost nearly 10lbs from July 6. That is not "not losing weight".

    Losing weight requires patience and consistency. Pick a sensible calorie goal and eat that amount - you don't need to restrict calories to nothing, that's ridiculous. You don't need to cut out food you enjoy, and losing weight doesn't require eating food you dislike. There are plenty of delicious calorie friendly foods, and you can fit in more decadent things with careful planning. I wouldn't recommend eating such low fat - fat is essential for so many functions in the body. It doesn't need to be high fat like if you were to eat in a keto way, but you need to nourish and fuel your body.

    Understanding that weight loss will not happen linearly is helpful - fluctuations are completely normal. It's the overall trend that is important. If you weigh every day, input your weight in to a trending app so you can see the general trend and ignore the fluctuations.
    Thank you for the response. I realize that losing nearly 10 lbs in a moth is good...my issue is that it’s creeping back on. Also, if I’m gaining back weight while eating like a hospitalized cardiac patient, what’s going to happen if I add in the foods I enjoy (essentially cheeseburgers, French fries, salad with REAL dressing and cheese)? What is a sensible calorie goal? MFP told me 1,200 is acceptable, so I’ve been eating around that level (usually within 50calories). According to those figures I should be losing 2+ lbs a week. I’ve gained 2lbs. I know weight loss has fluctuations, but usually it fluctuates down as well...at this rate I’ll be back to my start weight in less than a month.Oh, and the low fat is for health reasons (I suspect chronic pancreatitis, but doctor won’t do further testing). Eating around 5g fat per meal (or less) takes the pain away and regulates my bowel movements.

    Do you use a weight tracking app like Happy Scale or Libre Weight by chance? It sounds to me like the weight fluctuations are really messing with your head at this point (they mess with mine something awful too) and weight trending apps are great at showing you what your weight is really doing without all of the noise of the fluctuations.

    Eating as little as you are can really mess with your head and make all of those little fluctuations seem so much worse. Sometimes weight fluctuations happen for absolutely no reason at all. Weather, activity levels, changes in food, etc. can all mess with the scale.

    I'm having a hard time picking some of the details out of your main post, so I hope you'll bear with me. Was your period fairly recent? Did you increase your calories fairly recently? Like within the last couple of weeks? With every change in your routine (exercise or food routine) it's important to let your body freak out for a few weeks (up to three weeks sometimes) and then it will settle back down again. Your weight is going to get wonky every time you make changes even when they're good changes. It sounds like you just need to step back and ignore the scale for a bit, as hard as that is, because you're in that wonky stage where your body is doing weird things. Let it settle down before you start making changes again.
  • tomorrowperfume
    tomorrowperfume Posts: 67 Member
    This might sound like a silly question, but are you using the same scale in the same spot to weigh every time? We had a guy on here a few weeks ago that was switching between scales and there was a 7 pound difference!
  • Amandachanges
    Amandachanges Posts: 91 Member
    Thank you for the advice ladies. I agree, I’m overthinking things. I’m an all or nothing kinda girl. It shows in my kitchen, which is either a hot mess, or looks like something out of a Better Home’s & Garden’s magazine on any given day. I wanted to start this weight loss journey back in December, for the sole purpose of getting pregnant easier, and lessening my chances of complications (I had post-eclampsia with my 4th child, and almost died). Anyways, that fell by the wayside due to anxiety and stress/depression. Then, in June, I had a health-scare. Started waking up every morning to bowel habits that were consistent with chronic pancreatitis. This threw me into a tailspin of anxiety/depression the likes of which I have never experienced. I used to be a “drinker” not all too long ago, and these morning “fun-run’s” started after a night where I had 4 beers. They continued until I started following a pancreatic diet (i.e. very low fat/high fiber). Chronic pancreatitis is hard to diagnose, so my doctors won’t proceed with any further testing unless I present to the hospital in enormous pain. That leaves self-diagnosing and self-treating. So on July 7th I did my typical all-or-nothing nosedive off a cliff. I went from eating what I wanted, drinking a large Vernor’s from McDonald’s nearly everyday, weighing 238.6...to eating like a cardiac patient fresh off of npo. The results on the scale were clear and immediate. Blessedly, the trips to the bathroom began to normalize as well after about 10 days. So now I’m trying to find that “happy medium” you’re talking about, but I think that means something different to each of us. When my bathroom habits normalized I laxed on strictly keeping my fat under 25g a day, and every morning I worry “will this be the morning I wake up in pain”? And some mornings I wake up and run to the bathroom...maybe it’s just IBS (self diagnosed), or maybe something more sinister.

    On weight though, my scale this morning (after two runs to the bathroom) read 228 lbs, down from 229. However, yesterday I actually didn’t go to the bathroom (sorry if tmi), and yesterday I woke up feeling fully hydrated. This morning I made two trips to the bathroom and woke up feeling parched...which is strange because I drink no less than 7 32oz. bottles of water every single day. I should never be/feel dehydrated, right? I’m also beginning to question the accuracy of my trusty scale. It’s a digital, and it has ALWAYS been the most reliable scale I have ever encountered. However, I stepped on it this morning in multiple places, and got multiple readings...most of them said 228, so that’s what I went with. However, a few of them said 227.8,and a few said 227.2. Needless to say, I’m getting a new scale. For anyone who actually took the time to read this, I thank you for your kindness. As I said previously, I’m a single mom of 4. I homeschool all 4 (dropped out of law school after a year to do so), with both of my sons being on the spectrum. My oldest son is 18, and he is not only on the spectrum, but also bipolar. I never planned on giving up my dreams of contract law in order to be broke and homeschool, but my youngest son couldn’t handle a classroom of 32 students. He was in kindergarten and would come home and curl up in his bed crying and call himself “retarded”. When he came home one day with a black eye, I knew enough was enough. School took him from a happy/confident child to a miserable child with self-esteem issues and a great deal of anxiety. My oldest son, 11 at the time, was also having trouble in school. He had no friends, and was constantly making up fantastical stories to get attention and special treatment. Many of these stories got Child Protective Services called on me, regularly (my mom beats me, my mom threw me down the basement stairs this morning and that’s why I’m late, I need extra lunch money because my mom doesn’t feed me, etc). He would also fly into a rage at times, calling other kids and even teachers nast things...which would lead to suspensions. The cherry on top was that he was also failing, despite special education intervention. He was failing, yet they kept moving him up a grade. I was done. My undergraduate degree, prior to law school, was in the field of education, so I decided to use it. Giving up my dream is what made me a “drinker” for a long while. Never in front of my children, of course...but after they were in bed for the night, that’s when I would self-medicate.

    I’m alone in this life. I am grateful for this community, as I am basically a shut-in, which an unnatural state for my extroverted self. I used to be at the center of it all, with a busy schedule and lots of friends...always something fun to do/look forward to. Now the only time I go out is to take kids to therapy appointments and to go grocery shopping. I’m an actual shut-in. All of my “friends” went on to lead very different lives than me. They’re married, kids are in school, they go out and do things. None of them can comprehend what it’s like living in my shoes. My youngest son is very bright...began teaching himself computer coding at 5 years old...however, part of his “being on the spectrum” leads to severe social anxiety. He absolutely hates to leave the house. My oldest son is a talented artist...he can sketch a picture that looks like a photograph. He is also extremely well-versed in graphic design. However, part of his “being on the spectrum” includes angry outbursts and inappropriate behavior in public. So here I sit, in my house. It used to drive me crazy, not being able to go out. Now I’m used to it. Unfortunately it has become a comfort to me, and now when I do go out to large open public places, I have anxiety issues. The person I have become is not the person I was. I’m trying to change all of this, or at least the parts I can control, such as the diet/weight. Before I had my second child I was 128 lbs...shirt size medium (bb’s never get small enough for a small shirt, lol), pant size 4. Now I’m a shirt size...well I was a 3x in pants/shirts, but my clothes are so baggy at this point they almost look ridiculous. I need to reclaim my life, and taking care of myself needs to be the first step. I need to matter again.
  • Amandachanges
    Amandachanges Posts: 91 Member
    I really thought I would feel “done” after my fourth. After all, two boys and two girls...sounds perfect, right? However, even before I left the hospital I knew I wanted another. My children are really the only joy I have in my life. I have given up everything to be a mother, so I feel like I shouldn’t give up on this one last dream. I always wanted to have seven children, but before I had my 4th child I had two miscarriages. The other day I was thinking about it and decided that those two babies “counted” as my children. Which means my 4th was actually my 6th. One more will be the 7 children I’ve always dreamed of. Perhaps in my previous post I over-shared, to the point where I made myself appear nuts. I don’t know what drives my need to have another child, I just know it’s there...and it hasn’t dwindled in the 4 years since I gave birth to my beautiful Eliana. Each child is a blessing, and each has added happiness to my soul. It might not make sense from the outside looking in, but if I don’t at least try to have another, I fear it will only add to my list of regrets. I’m 38, and who knows...maybe it’s too late for me to have another, but I have to at least try.
  • Amandachanges
    Amandachanges Posts: 91 Member
    WJS_jeepster wrote: »
    mulecanter wrote: »
    Here's some fatherly advice from a man old enough to be your father. Single mother of 4 with no father in the picture and trying for #5; Hashimoto’s Hypothyroidism; a "health scare"; not losing weight!! Your post stresses me out just reading it, I can't imagine how you are coping without some stress eating. An initial weight loss success is mostly water weight, it always is a bit disconcerting when the loss rate plateaus. My unsolicited advice is to set aside the wish for another child and get your health in order for the existing family. You need to be patient--your hair is on fire from what I can gather from your post. You need to remove stress from your life not add more, I think if you can get a few things off your plate (literally and figuratively) you will have success just like so many others here on MFP.

    Seriously. I wasn't sure if I should even say this, but the quoted says it much nicer than I probably would have.

    Please, say it like you mean it. Being judged by strangers on the internet is fun! :/
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