Toxic relationship?
eurotrashcc
Posts: 26 Member
Is anyone else in a rough relationship that for one reason or another, you are still staying in it?
What helps you cope? How do you stay on track health wise without your other half's support?
What helps you cope? How do you stay on track health wise without your other half's support?
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Support is important in any relationship. You shouldn't have to cope. If its not working out, Its best to leave.1
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ButterIsGood wrote: »[If its not working out, Its best to leave.
Dunno...
every relationship is different, some are worth fighting for.
we don't live in a vacuum, some relationships affect many more people than just the two who are involved.
that being said, sometimes bailing is definitely the best choice.
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I am, my kids, thats what keeps me going, and good anti depressants2
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There is a big difference between a toxic relationship and a rough one. In either one it is important that you take care of your own mind and body. In a rough relationship hopefully getting yourself on track will give you the strength ro fight through any problems. If it is truly toxic to you then it is toxic to those you love also and you need to get out
Banana wisdom.2 -
eurotrashcc wrote: »Is anyone else in a rough relationship that for one reason or another, you are still staying in it?
What helps you cope? How do you stay on track health wise without your other half's support?
Tough gig man. I don't know what defines toxic. I understand one where one person is the giver and the other is seemingly just a taker. Usually the giver suffers while the other acts oblivious to everything. Makes you feel alone. I feel you. Probably hanging in there because you hope the tide will turn. I read that when attention is not given in return, remove your attention....perhaps the only solution. I don't know. Trying that approach next week.1 -
I think you need to first define what constitutes "toxic". You can have a rough relationship (or even a few rough patches in it) without it being toxic. Now if you're talking about abuse (emotional,physical), that's different. Or if you're dealing with someone who is extremely jealous/possessive... those types of things I would classify as toxic.
If you are in fact dealing with a toxic relationship in which there is no benefit for you to remain, why do so? As someone else stated, you only live once.. and life is very short when you get right down to it. No sense on wasting your time entangled with someone who doesn't value you as a person, ya' know?1 -
I was in an abusive marriage 9 years ago but I left and never looked back. Life is too short to be hurt by someone and you're worth more than having to be in a toxic relationship. And if its for "the kids", seeing a toxic relationship is NOT A GOOD example for them either2
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All of what they ^ said. Been there...made a lot of excuses to stay, but I was only fooling me...nobody else. My best wishes to you, brother.2
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The relationship I had with my sons father was extremely toxic. He was abusive. He’s was beyond controlling. He had managed to isolate me from my entire family. We lived states away. Didn’t have a cell phone and he screened my calls. He convinced me they didn’t care about me and he was the only one hat did. I was so depressed that it just sat there and let it happen. (The reason for the depression is a whole other story). One day I just snapped. We got into a big fight. I took my son and a handful of my stuff and left. We had to live in our car for a little while. That was until I was able to get ahold of my family and move back with them. It was the hardest time of my life. But I am grateful everyday for it. Because it has very much taught me to be a stronger person. I pulled myself up by my boot straps and got my act together. So, to answer your question with another question, is it worth it to try and cope through it? If it’s that toxic, then it probably best to get away from it. If it’s more spats and arguments that are minor. Maybe try and talk it out with the other person. Do couples therapy. But don’t put yourself or you kids (if you have any) in harms way. You’ll thank yourself later for getting out of there!2
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Hell no, I’d rather be alone than deal with someone else’s BS.4
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Divorce. That's my answer. 😀2
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I don't know your exact issues, but personally I am married to a man who doesn't want me to be fat, yet he is not supportive of my weight loss efforts. I typically have to make 2 sets if meals, because he doesn't like "healthy food". He's just never had any kind of struggle when it comes to weight or appearance. It is kinda tough, not gonna lie.. But how I stay on track is by being an active part of this community. I do not have loads of friends on here, but the ones I do have, have been very motivational and helpful. If there's any support I can lend feel free to add me!!3
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hpurtee1hp wrote: »I don't know your exact issues, but personally I am married to a man who doesn't want me to be fat, yet he is not supportive of my weight loss efforts. I typically have to make 2 sets if meals, because he doesn't like "healthy food". He's just never had any kind of struggle when it comes to weight or appearance. It is kinda tough, not gonna lie.. But how I stay on track is by being an active part of this community. I do not have loads of friends on here, but the ones I do have, have been very motivational and helpful. If there's any support I can lend feel free to add me!!
Forgive me for prying, but you say these things.. does this person actually love you? He doesn't sound very loving or supportive if he's harsh on you for gaining weight or not supporting you in your efforts to be healthy.
Again, not trying to be rude, I'm just an introspective person and am curious. Feel free to not answer this if you so choose.
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Coping won’t help long. Wiggle out from the tough spot. You can do this by getting counselling for yourself, coming up with a plan, deciding what will be the last straw, and/or having a heart to heart. Heal it or break it off. Don’t stay in limbo.0
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Being single is really liberating. Toxic people suck. That being said, some things are worth fighting for. Listen to your gut.0
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CanesGalactica wrote: »hpurtee1hp wrote: »I don't know your exact issues, but personally I am married to a man who doesn't want me to be fat, yet he is not supportive of my weight loss efforts. I typically have to make 2 sets if meals, because he doesn't like "healthy food". He's just never had any kind of struggle when it comes to weight or appearance. It is kinda tough, not gonna lie.. But how I stay on track is by being an active part of this community. I do not have loads of friends on here, but the ones I do have, have been very motivational and helpful. If there's any support I can lend feel free to add me!!
Forgive me for prying, but you say these things.. does this person actually love you? He doesn't sound very loving or supportive if he's harsh on you for gaining weight or not supporting you in your efforts to be healthy.
Again, not trying to be rude, I'm just an introspective person and am curious. Feel free to not answer this if you so choose.
Oh it's not rude of you at all.. after reading it back, I obviously did t paint him in the best light. He's not all bad, I didn't mean to seem like I'm dogging him or anything. He's a great guy with a lot of good qualities, but when it comes to weight gain and weight loss, he just doesn't get it. He thinks it is so simple, and has no idea what it is like to struggle with emotional eating, or stress eating, or body image. His mentality is "if you wanna lose weight then don't eat it".. trust me, I put him in his place when I need to, this is just an issue where he is completely clueless. I've always been a bit of a scrapper, so if he was too mean to me, I'd probably break his knee caps hahaha... But I'm not trying to make excuses, I still think it's wrong..but everyone has their issues.. My reasoning behind posting this was just to let the guy who posted know that it is possible to reach your goals even if your partner is not supportive...again, it's not ideal, but it can work.. I just wanted him to know how supportive this community has been to me..0 -
My ex was a narcissist. Very toxic relationship. I am lucky to be alive actually. Never again .3
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hpurtee1hp wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »hpurtee1hp wrote: »I don't know your exact issues, but personally I am married to a man who doesn't want me to be fat, yet he is not supportive of my weight loss efforts. I typically have to make 2 sets if meals, because he doesn't like "healthy food". He's just never had any kind of struggle when it comes to weight or appearance. It is kinda tough, not gonna lie.. But how I stay on track is by being an active part of this community. I do not have loads of friends on here, but the ones I do have, have been very motivational and helpful. If there's any support I can lend feel free to add me!!
Forgive me for prying, but you say these things.. does this person actually love you? He doesn't sound very loving or supportive if he's harsh on you for gaining weight or not supporting you in your efforts to be healthy.
Again, not trying to be rude, I'm just an introspective person and am curious. Feel free to not answer this if you so choose.
Oh it's not rude of you at all.. after reading it back, I obviously did t paint him in the best light. He's not all bad, I didn't mean to seem like I'm dogging him or anything. He's a great guy with a lot of good qualities, but when it comes to weight gain and weight loss, he just doesn't get it. He thinks it is so simple, and has no idea what it is like to struggle with emotional eating, or stress eating, or body image. His mentality is "if you wanna lose weight then don't eat it".. trust me, I put him in his place when I need to, this is just an issue where he is completely clueless. I've always been a bit of a scrapper, so if he was too mean to me, I'd probably break his knee caps hahaha... But I'm not trying to make excuses, I still think it's wrong..but everyone has their issues.. My reasoning behind posting this was just to let the guy who posted know that it is possible to reach your goals even if your partner is not supportive...again, it's not ideal, but it can work.. I just wanted him to know how supportive this community has been to me..
Gotcha! He doesn't understand that what is simple for him is not simple for others because he hasn't personally experienced it. Especially when it comes to the differences between men and women. There's a lot of hormonal things at play that men just don't have to deal with or experience that makes it different (and sometimes more difficult) for women to lose weight at the pace that men are accustomed to.
Glad you stick up for yourself though. Thanks for answering! 1
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