Obese and not losing weight
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snickerscharlie wrote: »Amandachanges wrote: »WJS_jeepster wrote: »mulecanter wrote: »Here's some fatherly advice from a man old enough to be your father. Single mother of 4 with no father in the picture and trying for #5; Hashimoto’s Hypothyroidism; a "health scare"; not losing weight!! Your post stresses me out just reading it, I can't imagine how you are coping without some stress eating. An initial weight loss success is mostly water weight, it always is a bit disconcerting when the loss rate plateaus. My unsolicited advice is to set aside the wish for another child and get your health in order for the existing family. You need to be patient--your hair is on fire from what I can gather from your post. You need to remove stress from your life not add more, I think if you can get a few things off your plate (literally and figuratively) you will have success just like so many others here on MFP.
Seriously. I wasn't sure if I should even say this, but the quoted says it much nicer than I probably would have.
Please, say it like you mean it. Being judged by strangers on the internet is fun!
Amanda, if you put personal things out there on a public forum, you are going to get all sorts of replies. So here's mine:
My dream is to have a house on the beach in Fiji. I can't afford it, so, guess what? It's not going to happen right now, no matter how badly I may want it.
Being a stay-at-home and homeschooler to 4 children, how would you be able to financially support a fifth on top of that?
I realize that posting about my personal life on the internet opens me up for harsh judgment and trolling. I just don’t understand why someone would feel the need to basically say “ I agree with what this previous poster said, but I would’ve said it a lot nastier”. I’m not a snowflake by any means, I just kinda assumed that posting in the “support” area of the message boards would be a little less “judgey”. If I were married, I doubt anyone would have had an opinion on my goal of having another child. And comparing the yearn for another child after two miscarriages to the dream of living a lavish lifestyle? Apples and oranges. I have...maybe...2 years of reproductive life left in me. That house on the beach in Fiji, it will always be there. As far as how I can afford a 5th, I’ll let that one slide. It’s a typical knee-jerk question I’ve gotten several times. My family, we make do and live within our means. I kicked my ex out when I was pregnant with #4 (he was a serial cheater, and emotionally abusive). Fortunately for us, he makes six figures. We don’t have to worry about money, especially since we made an agreement in regards to financial concessions if I were to leave law school and homeschool. He doesn’t want “his kids” in public school, so that works to our advantage.4 -
I'm sorry if you feel like you've over-shared and are being judged for it. Most of us are wired with survival of the species in mind. I try to look at it that way instead of emotionally when baby fever strikes
My ability to cope doesn't necessarily align with the number of children I wanted to have. Your mileage may vary, of course. I'd still encourage you to square away your health before having another baby.
I’m glad you understand ‘baby fever’. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who has it Anyways, I have a surprisingly huge ability to cope with children. And I am definitely squaring away my health issues. I’m losing weight, my diet is healthy, my thyroid is in check, and my previous issues which I attributed to pancreatic problems may not have had anything to do with my pancreas...may have been another flare-up of my erosive gastritis (was hospitalized for it in January), or simply IBS. Any way you slice it, I’m getting healthier and my clothes are getting so loose they’re falling off of me. The way I see it, if I get pregnant I get pregnant...if I don’t, then it wasn’t meant to be. I just don’t want to wait until I’m pushing 40, as the risks for the baby go way up. 0 -
That picture of your fluctuations really helped put things in perspective for me. Thank you!nutmegoreo wrote: »So your weight has been up two days in a row? You need to relax a bit, that's a fluctuation. This isn't a healthy mindset.
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10683010/the-weird-and-highly-annoying-world-of-scale-fluctuations
Here's my fluctuations:
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Amandachanges wrote: »I'm sorry if you feel like you've over-shared and are being judged for it. Most of us are wired with survival of the species in mind. I try to look at it that way instead of emotionally when baby fever strikes My ability to cope doesn't necessarily align with the number of children I wanted to have. Your mileage may vary, of course. I'd still encourage you to square away your health before having another baby.
I’m glad you understand ‘baby fever’. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who has it Anyways, I have a surprisingly huge ability to cope with children. And I am definitely squaring away my health issues. I’m losing weight, my diet is healthy, my thyroid is in check, and my previous issues which I attributed to pancreatic problems may not have had anything to do with my pancreas...may have been another flare-up of my erosive gastritis (was hospitalized for it in January), or simply IBS. Any way you slice it, I’m getting healthier and my clothes are getting so loose they’re falling off of me. The way I see it, if I get pregnant I get pregnant...if I don’t, then it wasn’t meant to be. I just don’t want to wait until I’m pushing 40, as the risks for the baby go way up.
Has this changed since you started the thread? Wasn't the point of the thread that you weren't losing weight and hated your diet?4 -
All of this has been covered in the thread, but I figured I'd summarize from what I can see:
Most likely culprit-short time frame weight fluctuations
2nd most likely- period
3rd most likely- trusting pre-packaged values (this can be a huge difference!!! weigh it out)
4th most likely- incorrect measurements (don't measure dry food in cups, weigh it in grams or oz.)
Also, I think 1200 calories might be a bit low for you, but it falls under the "not medically unsafe" umbrella, so have at it.2 -
Yes, according to my scale I’m down another pound, possibly more (got a few readings that were even lower, think I need a new scale).Sorry if I let this thread go off topic, my mind tends to wander and I let that translate into a diary entry on here. Probably a bad idea. I wouldn’t have done so if I had noticed the previous comments opining about my lack of judgment in planning for another child.livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Amandachanges wrote: »I'm sorry if you feel like you've over-shared and are being judged for it. Most of us are wired with survival of the species in mind. I try to look at it that way instead of emotionally when baby fever strikes My ability to cope doesn't necessarily align with the number of children I wanted to have. Your mileage may vary, of course. I'd still encourage you to square away your health before having another baby.
I’m glad you understand ‘baby fever’. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who has it Anyways, I have a surprisingly huge ability to cope with children. And I am definitely squaring away my health issues. I’m losing weight, my diet is healthy, my thyroid is in check, and my previous issues which I attributed to pancreatic problems may not have had anything to do with my pancreas...may have been another flare-up of my erosive gastritis (was hospitalized for it in January), or simply IBS. Any way you slice it, I’m getting healthier and my clothes are getting so loose they’re falling off of me. The way I see it, if I get pregnant I get pregnant...if I don’t, then it wasn’t meant to be. I just don’t want to wait until I’m pushing 40, as the risks for the baby go way up.
Has this changed since you started the thread? Wasn't the point of the thread that you weren't losing weight and hated your diet?
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It sounds like you have lot going on in your life. While many people like to think they are "multitaskers" it is difficult to do and maintain. From what I have read you are trying to take on many huge life events (weight loss journey, pregnancy, health scare, home school children, etc. etc.) and your frustration seems to stem from things just not falling in line like you think they should, well life isn't that cut and dry, it just isn't. So take a moment and just breathe, center yourself, and take on what you can handle today to prepare yourself for tomorrow.
This is by no means a comprehensive list but small things you could do to help is cut out the highly processed foods with added sugar. Take small steps to eat as many wholefoods as possible and find the correct balance of activity and caloric needs. Maybe look into practicing some type of daily mindfulness meditation. It always helps me to write out pro/con lists for big life decisions so I can make a loose plan to follow looking ahead and if it is worth it to expend the physical and mental energy in pursuit of that goal or just put it off for a while until I can focus on it. Mr. May one of my HS teachers used to say "If you don't have your health you don't have anything" Really think about that and what the means in conjunction with your life goals. Realistically look at what you can handle VS what you think you need.
There is no judgement here, its your life and you have to live it. A mind/body approach has helped me a great deal maybe it can help you.
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I agree, the most likely culprit is definitely me obsessing over short-term fluctuations. Period also likely had a hand in it. I doubt it had much to do with portions, as even if I had misjudged by half a serving every time, I still should be losing weight...even if I did nothing but lay on a couch all day (according to my bmr). I also agree that 1,200 calories is a bit on the low side. When I lost all my excess weight back in 2005, I went from 212.6 on July 1st, down to 128 by January, eating 1,300-1,450 calories a day (confession: my endocrinologist put me on the diet drug Phentermine, so I believe that helped).Scottgriesser wrote: »All of this has been covered in the thread, but I figured I'd summarize from what I can see:
Most likely culprit-short time frame weight fluctuations
2nd most likely- period
3rd most likely- trusting pre-packaged values (this can be a huge difference!!! weigh it out)
4th most likely- incorrect measurements (don't measure dry food in cups, weigh it in grams or oz.)
Also, I think 1200 calories might be a bit low for you, but it falls under the "not medically unsafe" umbrella, so have at it.
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It sounds like you have lot going on in your life. While many people like to think they are "multitaskers" it is difficult to do and maintain. From what I have read you are trying to take on many huge life events (weight loss journey, pregnancy, health scare, home school children, etc. etc.) and your frustration seems to stem from things just not falling in line like you think they should, well life isn't that cut and dry, it just isn't. So take a moment and just breathe, center yourself, and take on what you can handle today to prepare yourself for tomorrow.
This is by no means a comprehensive list but small things you could do to help is cut out the highly processed foods with added sugar. Take small steps to eat as many wholefoods as possible and find the correct balance of activity and caloric needs. Maybe look into practicing some type of daily mindfulness meditation. It always helps me to write out pro/con lists for big life decisions so I can make a loose plan to follow looking ahead and if it is worth it to expend the physical and mental energy in pursuit of that goal or just put it off for a while until I can focus on it. Mr. May one of my HS teachers used to say "If you don't have your health you don't have anything" Really think about that and what the means in conjunction with your life goals. Realistically look at what you can handle VS what you think you need.
There is no judgement here, its your life and you have to live it. A mind/body approach has helped me a great deal maybe it can help you.
Thank you for the introspection. I really do appreciate it.2 -
Amandachanges wrote: »
Yes, according to my scale I’m down another pound, possibly more (got a few readings that were even lower, think I need a new scale).Sorry if I let this thread go off topic, my mind tends to wander and I let that translate into a diary entry on here. Probably a bad idea. I wouldn’t have done so if I had noticed the previous comments opining about my lack of judgment in planning for another child.livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Amandachanges wrote: »I'm sorry if you feel like you've over-shared and are being judged for it. Most of us are wired with survival of the species in mind. I try to look at it that way instead of emotionally when baby fever strikes My ability to cope doesn't necessarily align with the number of children I wanted to have. Your mileage may vary, of course. I'd still encourage you to square away your health before having another baby.
I’m glad you understand ‘baby fever’. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who has it Anyways, I have a surprisingly huge ability to cope with children. And I am definitely squaring away my health issues. I’m losing weight, my diet is healthy, my thyroid is in check, and my previous issues which I attributed to pancreatic problems may not have had anything to do with my pancreas...may have been another flare-up of my erosive gastritis (was hospitalized for it in January), or simply IBS. Any way you slice it, I’m getting healthier and my clothes are getting so loose they’re falling off of me. The way I see it, if I get pregnant I get pregnant...if I don’t, then it wasn’t meant to be. I just don’t want to wait until I’m pushing 40, as the risks for the baby go way up.
Has this changed since you started the thread? Wasn't the point of the thread that you weren't losing weight and hated your diet?
Stop weighing yourself multiple times. If I remember correctly (it's hard to keep it all straight with so much going on), you weighed repeatedly after moving the scale. Moving the scale can effect it's accuracy. Leave it in one spot and weigh yourself once first thing in the morning. You are obsessing over this and it is adding to the stress you are already under. You really need to slow down a bit and just breath. Have you considered yoga or meditation? There are some great online resources. Life is way too short to be putting yourself through all of this.2 -
I didn’t move the scale today. I moved it several days ago when I realized it was on an uneven section of the floor. It’s just that I stepped on it today, several times in a row, and the weight was fluctuating. I’m not driving myself nuts over it anymore. Just realized I may need a new scale.0
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Amandachanges wrote: »I didn’t move the scale today. I moved it several days ago when I realized it was on an uneven section of the floor. It’s just that I stepped on it today, several times in a row, and the weight was fluctuating. I’m not driving myself nuts over it anymore. Just realized I may need a new scale.
I doubt you need a new scale. Minor differences in foot positioning will result in slightly different weights. Some people put a piece of tape or a mark where their toes should end as a guide. I'm not that precise. I just step on and record whatever pops up (even if I don't like it
) 1 -
Bodies may seem like machines at times, but biological systems have a long lead time and react over days and weeks, so it will take time to see progress. Move to weighing once a week. All you're tracking by doing this daily is "noise" - fluctuations in water weight. What you want is fat loss and that takes time - weeks/months/years. Any hormone fluctuation can result in increased cellular uptake - water weight.
There's no point in rushing this, so take this slowly and implement change at a rate you can live with. Dramatic changes rarely yield sustainable results. Small changes have dramatic impact over time.
Your metabolism just is - it isn't fast or slow and nothing is going to change this. Unfortunately the diet & fitness industry preys on our desire for immediate change.
You CANNOT multitask. The human brain is incapable of this. The only thing you are capable of is fooling yourself to think you can. Stop this. Multitasking resulting in doing multiple jobs poorly.
Humans are also not designed for solitary lives, so fix that. Join a social club and meet people - any excuse to get out of the house. This is critical for you and your kids.
Sounds like more than anything you need a win. Set a goal - not an easy one, but an achievable one that feeds into a larger goal. Read a book that brings you back to your original goal of law school. Once you do this then move onto another one and keep that momentum going.8 -
Amandachanges wrote: »I didn’t move the scale today. I moved it several days ago when I realized it was on an uneven section of the floor. It’s just that I stepped on it today, several times in a row, and the weight was fluctuating. I’m not driving myself nuts over it anymore. Just realized I may need a new scale.
Plus, virtually all scales will show you a different number if you step on them multiple times. However, most of the newer ones are programmed to show you the same number if you weigh a few times in quick succession. A new scale is going to keep doing the same thing, it just might not tell you about it. At a certain point, you weigh what you weigh. The scale isn't gospel; don't worry so much about what it says.1 -
Okay, so I need to stop obsessing over the scale...I get that...makes sense. I actually ATE today. Splurged a bit and ended up at about 1,300 calories (100 over goal). I ate bad foods in small portions, and yes...it was so worth it! Still no soda, fast food, or alcohol though, so that’s a huge improvement in and of itself! Hopefully the major changes I have made to my eating habits will translate into major changes in my health/physique.2
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Amandachanges wrote: »Okay, so I need to stop obsessing over the scale...I get that...makes sense. I actually ATE today. Splurged a bit and ended up at about 1,300 calories (100 over goal). I ate bad foods in small portions, and yes...it was so worth it! Still no soda, fast food, or alcohol though, so that’s a huge improvement in and of itself! Hopefully the major changes I have made to my eating habits will translate into major changes in my health/physique.
Thats not a splurge, and there are no bad foods*. Get rid of that mindset!
*with the exception of things that are off/rotten, make you sick, and trans fats.
You will succeed eating food, just keep being consistent. Experiment with foods, fine things you enjoy that make you feel good physically and mentally.... Perhaps you could explore recipes and ingredients with the kids? Do you have access to a garden - perhaps you can grow some ingredients of your own?2 -
livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Amandachanges wrote: »Okay, so I need to stop obsessing over the scale...I get that...makes sense. I actually ATE today. Splurged a bit and ended up at about 1,300 calories (100 over goal). I ate bad foods in small portions, and yes...it was so worth it! Still no soda, fast food, or alcohol though, so that’s a huge improvement in and of itself! Hopefully the major changes I have made to my eating habits will translate into major changes in my health/physique.
Thats not a splurge, and there are no bad foods*. Get rid of that mindset!
*with the exception of things that are off/rotten, make you sick, and trans fats.
You will succeed eating food, just keep being consistent. Experiment with foods, fine things you enjoy that make you feel good physically and mentally.... Perhaps you could explore recipes and ingredients with the kids? Do you have access to a garden - perhaps you can grow some ingredients of your own?
It felt like a splurge due to all the fat I ate (50g), which included a piece of Hershey’s pie I also went over the set goal for saturated fat and sodium. On a side note, I’m ordering a new scale. In the same spot, standing on the same spot, wearing the same nightshirt, at first it said I gained 4 lbs., then it said I lost 5, then something else, then I gave up. Luckily my scale came with a lifetime warranty...so I’m ordering a new one today!
As far as growing foods, not really possible. I live in a condo in Michigan. The thing I have found is that the foods that make me feel good, physically and mentally, are not the foods that appeal to my palette. I love fast food, but when I eat it I feel bogged down and tired. I love Pepsi, but it makes me feel strange. I love pizza and cheesy bread, but cheese messes me up on the gastrointestinal front. I really dislike fruit, oatmeal, most vegetables, many healthy foods...but when I force myself to eat them, I feel better...my body “works” better. So I’m trying to re-train my tastebuds.1 -
Amandachanges wrote: »livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Amandachanges wrote: »Okay, so I need to stop obsessing over the scale...I get that...makes sense. I actually ATE today. Splurged a bit and ended up at about 1,300 calories (100 over goal). I ate bad foods in small portions, and yes...it was so worth it! Still no soda, fast food, or alcohol though, so that’s a huge improvement in and of itself! Hopefully the major changes I have made to my eating habits will translate into major changes in my health/physique.
Thats not a splurge, and there are no bad foods*. Get rid of that mindset!
*with the exception of things that are off/rotten, make you sick, and trans fats.
You will succeed eating food, just keep being consistent. Experiment with foods, fine things you enjoy that make you feel good physically and mentally.... Perhaps you could explore recipes and ingredients with the kids? Do you have access to a garden - perhaps you can grow some ingredients of your own?
It felt like a splurge due to all the fat I ate (50g), which included a piece of Hershey’s pie I also went over the set goal for saturated fat and sodium. On a side note, I’m ordering a new scale. In the same spot, standing on the same spot, wearing the same nightshirt, at first it said I gained 4 lbs., then it said I lost 5, then something else, then I gave up. Luckily my scale came with a lifetime warranty...so I’m ordering a new one today!
As far as growing foods, not really possible. I live in a condo in Michigan. The thing I have found is that the foods that make me feel good, physically and mentally, are not the foods that appeal to my palette. I love fast food, but when I eat it I feel bogged down and tired. I love Pepsi, but it makes me feel strange. I love pizza and cheesy bread, but cheese messes me up on the gastrointestinal front. I really dislike fruit, oatmeal, most vegetables, many healthy foods...but when I force myself to eat them, I feel better...my body “works” better. So I’m trying to re-train my tastebuds.Amandachanges wrote: »livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Amandachanges wrote: »Okay, so I need to stop obsessing over the scale...I get that...makes sense. I actually ATE today. Splurged a bit and ended up at about 1,300 calories (100 over goal). I ate bad foods in small portions, and yes...it was so worth it! Still no soda, fast food, or alcohol though, so that’s a huge improvement in and of itself! Hopefully the major changes I have made to my eating habits will translate into major changes in my health/physique.
Thats not a splurge, and there are no bad foods*. Get rid of that mindset!
*with the exception of things that are off/rotten, make you sick, and trans fats.
You will succeed eating food, just keep being consistent. Experiment with foods, fine things you enjoy that make you feel good physically and mentally.... Perhaps you could explore recipes and ingredients with the kids? Do you have access to a garden - perhaps you can grow some ingredients of your own?
It felt like a splurge due to all the fat I ate (50g), which included a piece of Hershey’s pie I also went over the set goal for saturated fat and sodium. On a side note, I’m ordering a new scale. In the same spot, standing on the same spot, wearing the same nightshirt, at first it said I gained 4 lbs., then it said I lost 5, then something else, then I gave up. Luckily my scale came with a lifetime warranty...so I’m ordering a new one today!
As far as growing foods, not really possible. I live in a condo in Michigan. The thing I have found is that the foods that make me feel good, physically and mentally, are not the foods that appeal to my palette. I love fast food, but when I eat it I feel bogged down and tired. I love Pepsi, but it makes me feel strange. I love pizza and cheesy bread, but cheese messes me up on the gastrointestinal front. I really dislike fruit, oatmeal, most vegetables, many healthy foods...but when I force myself to eat them, I feel better...my body “works” better. So I’m trying to re-train my tastebuds.Amandachanges wrote: »livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Amandachanges wrote: »Okay, so I need to stop obsessing over the scale...I get that...makes sense. I actually ATE today. Splurged a bit and ended up at about 1,300 calories (100 over goal). I ate bad foods in small portions, and yes...it was so worth it! Still no soda, fast food, or alcohol though, so that’s a huge improvement in and of itself! Hopefully the major changes I have made to my eating habits will translate into major changes in my health/physique.
Thats not a splurge, and there are no bad foods*. Get rid of that mindset!
*with the exception of things that are off/rotten, make you sick, and trans fats.
You will succeed eating food, just keep being consistent. Experiment with foods, fine things you enjoy that make you feel good physically and mentally.... Perhaps you could explore recipes and ingredients with the kids? Do you have access to a garden - perhaps you can grow some ingredients of your own?
It felt like a splurge due to all the fat I ate (50g), which included a piece of Hershey’s pie I also went over the set goal for saturated fat and sodium. On a side note, I’m ordering a new scale. In the same spot, standing on the same spot, wearing the same nightshirt, at first it said I gained 4 lbs., then it said I lost 5, then something else, then I gave up. Luckily my scale came with a lifetime warranty...so I’m ordering a new one today!
As far as growing foods, not really possible. I live in a condo in Michigan. The thing I have found is that the foods that make me feel good, physically and mentally, are not the foods that appeal to my palette. I love fast food, but when I eat it I feel bogged down and tired. I love Pepsi, but it makes me feel strange. I love pizza and cheesy bread, but cheese messes me up on the gastrointestinal front. I really dislike fruit, oatmeal, most vegetables, many healthy foods...but when I force myself to eat them, I feel better...my body “works” better. So I’m trying to re-train my tastebuds.
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Hi there! I have been on this journey 45 days and have lost 13 pounds. It has been about two weeks and the scale hasn’t moved.
I did a couple of things. Under the advice of my nutritionist, I cut my calorie intake by 200 calories. I stopped using creamer in my coffee. I was drinking about two calories a day in creamer. I now like my black coffee. And I eat more veggies.
One thing I have also done is really stress a lot about not seeing the scale budge for two weeks. I learned from a good friend that stress causes your cortisol levels to rise. High cortisol level equals weight gain. I am trying to relax more but it’s hard!
Research cortisol levels and then think about whether that might have something to do with it.
We are all rooting for you!
Valerie1 -
None of what I am about to say is meant as a judgement of you. It comes from a place of wanting to help so I hope it's taken that way. Also, people have already stressed the possible causes and remedies for the fluctuation in weight so I won't continue to beat a dead horse.
You know how on airplanes they say that in an emergency, when the oxygen mask come down, put yours in first before helping anyone else? Do you know why? You can't fully help anyone else until you have your own *kitten* taken care of. I'm so happy for you that you've found motivation to lose weight. I also can fully appreciate baby fever. I also can fully appreciate how the amount of stress you're under can lead to controlling your food so that you feel like you've got a grasp on something. Been there, done that, more times than I can count.
I'm not saying to give up on your dream of having another baby. I just want to reiterate what others have said about getting your stress under control. One thing I would hate to see is your reach a point in your life where all, or most, if your kids have successfully entered the world, are throbbing, and your left at home with no direction because your kids were your ENTIRE world. Again, this isn't judgement. And this isn't trying to tell you how to be a mother because that would be horribly presumptuous if me.
CSARdiver commented about finding a social group and setting goals to possibly get you back on track with paw school. Those are awesome ideas. Maybe find a meet up group for a hobby you're interested in that is smaller so you don't feel overwhelmed with a large group. Maybe find a place that does trivia night and go out once a week or once a month and play trivia.
As far as not liking foods that make you feel better, it can be a process but you're worth it. Start small. Maybe make it into a fun thing you can do with your kids. My husband's and I like different pizza toppings so sometimes I'll get small lavas breads and the different fixings so we can have mini pizzas. You could start with trying different veggies on your pizza or load up your pizza with the veggies you do like. Or, add a bunch of veggies to your Mac and cheese (broccoli is my fav for this!). That way you can get more baby for your calorie buck and maybe you try something new, or retry something old, that you like. You got this. Weight loss isn't about upheaval, it's about small, sustainable steps. You aren't dieting, you're changing your lifestyle for the better.5 -
I started here at 204lbs, I too am eating between 1200 and 1300 calories a day. My only exercise is walking or jumping on my exercise bike for up to 30 minutes a few times per week. I haven’t cut out food groups of any kind and am trying to stay under 30 grams of fat per day and I am losing weight. If you restrict yourself too much you’re setting yourself up for failure because not only will you feel constantly tired and irritable you’ll also be hungry and you won’t lose the weight. You didn’t put the weight on overnight so don’t expect to lose it in a short space of time. Weigh what you eat to make sure your calories are within what you should be eating and don’t forget that before your time of the month and before ovulation you gain water weight which will come off again. If you are doing all of these things you should be losing weight and if over the next few weeks your weight doesn’t change then see your doctor.2
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#1 kudos to you for being a rockstar single mom of 4 kids and a mom of special needs' kids
#2 congrats on wanting to be healthy and happy
#3 kids bring you joy, but you have also stated that:
- raising & homeschooling kids with special needs has made you a shut-in
- the stress of being a mom has made you develop bad eating habits & gain weight
- you're obese and have several other medical ailments
**While I have no reason to doubt that another baby will bring you joy, will it help with the above?
**Are you prepared for another special needs kid, and potentially another 18 years of homeschooling, being a shut-in, and "losing yourself" even further?
There are many ways to experience joy in life. Maybe rediscovering your outgoing, bubbly, outspoken self will bring you joy as well?
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Hi there! I have been on this journey 45 days and have lost 13 pounds. It has been about two weeks and the scale hasn’t moved.
I did a couple of things. Under the advice of my nutritionist, I cut my calorie intake by 200 calories. I stopped using creamer in my coffee. I was drinking about two calories a day in creamer. I now like my black coffee. And I eat more veggies.
One thing I have also done is really stress a lot about not seeing the scale budge for two weeks. I learned from a good friend that stress causes your cortisol levels to rise. High cortisol level equals weight gain. I am trying to relax more but it’s hard!
Research cortisol levels and then think about whether that might have something to do with it.
We are all rooting for you!
Valerie
Thank you for the advice, and congrats on your progress thus far...keep it going, girl!0 -
None of what I am about to say is meant as a judgement of you. It comes from a place of wanting to help so I hope it's taken that way. Also, people have already stressed the possible causes and remedies for the fluctuation in weight so I won't continue to beat a dead horse.
You know how on airplanes they say that in an emergency, when the oxygen mask come down, put yours in first before helping anyone else? Do you know why? You can't fully help anyone else until you have your own *kitten* taken care of. I'm so happy for you that you've found motivation to lose weight. I also can fully appreciate baby fever. I also can fully appreciate how the amount of stress you're under can lead to controlling your food so that you feel like you've got a grasp on something. Been there, done that, more times than I can count.
I'm not saying to give up on your dream of having another baby. I just want to reiterate what others have said about getting your stress under control. One thing I would hate to see is your reach a point in your life where all, or most, if your kids have successfully entered the world, are throbbing, and your left at home with no direction because your kids were your ENTIRE world. Again, this isn't judgement. And this isn't trying to tell you how to be a mother because that would be horribly presumptuous if me.
CSARdiver commented about finding a social group and setting goals to possibly get you back on track with paw school. Those are awesome ideas. Maybe find a meet up group for a hobby you're interested in that is smaller so you don't feel overwhelmed with a large group. Maybe find a place that does trivia night and go out once a week or once a month and play trivia.
As far as not liking foods that make you feel better, it can be a process but you're worth it. Start small. Maybe make it into a fun thing you can do with your kids. My husband's and I like different pizza toppings so sometimes I'll get small lavas breads and the different fixings so we can have mini pizzas. You could start with trying different veggies on your pizza or load up your pizza with the veggies you do like. Or, add a bunch of veggies to your Mac and cheese (broccoli is my fav for this!). That way you can get more baby for your calorie buck and maybe you try something new, or retry something old, that you like. You got this. Weight loss isn't about upheaval, it's about small, sustainable steps. You aren't dieting, you're changing your lifestyle for the better.
Wow, I never considered that I was strictly restricting myself as a means of control. I’m 100% sure you’re correct on that. So much in my life is out of my control...it makes sense that I would go fast and hard on the one thing no one can control but me. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with responsibility (don’t we all, though). I love that I am solely responsible for the outcome of this journey I have embarked upon! I actually don’t mind eating foods I dislike, as it reminds me that food is fuel, not a reward.1 -
I started here at 204lbs, I too am eating between 1200 and 1300 calories a day. My only exercise is walking or jumping on my exercise bike for up to 30 minutes a few times per week. I haven’t cut out food groups of any kind and am trying to stay under 30 grams of fat per day and I am losing weight. If you restrict yourself too much you’re setting yourself up for failure because not only will you feel constantly tired and irritable you’ll also be hungry and you won’t lose the weight. You didn’t put the weight on overnight so don’t expect to lose it in a short space of time. Weigh what you eat to make sure your calories are within what you should be eating and don’t forget that before your time of the month and before ovulation you gain water weight which will come off again. If you are doing all of these things you should be losing weight and if over the next few weeks your weight doesn’t change then see your doctor.
Thanks for the advice! I’m ordering a new scale and tape measure for body measurements, as I notice a huge difference in my body since 10+ lbs ago (thighs not rubbing together so much when I walk, arms not as fat, etc). I’m going to go back to logging my weight as soon as my new scale arrives!0 -
walking2running wrote: »#1 kudos to you for being a rockstar single mom of 4 kids and a mom of special needs' kids
#2 congrats on wanting to be healthy and happy
#3 kids bring you joy, but you have also stated that:
- raising & homeschooling kids with special needs has made you a shut-in
- the stress of being a mom has made you develop bad eating habits & gain weight
- you're obese and have several other medical ailments
**While I have no reason to doubt that another baby will bring you joy, will it help with the above?
**Are you prepared for another special needs kid, and potentially another 18 years of homeschooling, being a shut-in, and "losing yourself" even further?
There are many ways to experience joy in life. Maybe rediscovering your outgoing, bubbly, outspoken self will bring you joy as well?
Thank you so much for the encouragement and kind words!0 -
Hi there! I have been on this journey 45 days and have lost 13 pounds. It has been about two weeks and the scale hasn’t moved.
I did a couple of things. Under the advice of my nutritionist, I cut my calorie intake by 200 calories. I stopped using creamer in my coffee. I was drinking about two calories a day in creamer. I now like my black coffee. And I eat more veggies.
One thing I have also done is really stress a lot about not seeing the scale budge for two weeks. I learned from a good friend that stress causes your cortisol levels to rise. High cortisol level equals weight gain. I am trying to relax more but it’s hard!
Research cortisol levels and then think about whether that might have something to do with it.
We are all rooting for you!
Valerie
cortisol levels can hinder weight loss but its not going to cause weight gain. it can however increase appetite leading to an increase in calories which can cause weight gain but in and of itself it is not. this study states that cortisol causes some people to eat more than others https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27345309
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23505190
weight gain comes from excess calories.2 -
Well I’m DEFINITELY not eating excessive calories. I struggle to hit the 1,200 mark more often than not.0
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Amandachanges wrote: »Well I’m DEFINITELY not eating excessive calories. I struggle to hit the 1,200 mark more often than not.
but you said you are not losing so you are eating maintenance calories(if you were eating excess calories you would be gaining actual fat). its very easy to do that, I dont know if you are weighing everything yet, but prepackaged food can be off by up to 20% per serving, no two pieces of fruit the same size will weigh the same or be the same calories, a tsp of peanut butter can be 1.5-2 tsp if not weighed,oils are very calorie rich so if you use any oils(without going back and reading all the posts) and not weigh/measure them that adds up too. you have to weigh all solids and semi solids including prepackaged food and measure all liquids.
I learned the hard way when I used measuring cups and didnt weigh food.I lost weight at first but I gained back half of what I lost a few months down the road. once I started weighing everything and using the proper entries I started losing again. if you arent losing then you are eating more than 1200 which Im sure someone already stated that. you could also be retaining water for some reason, could be inflammation,could be caused by some meds you may take. if you are using a bmr calculator and have health issues that can be off too.
I know MFP and other calculators give me 1400-1500 for a bmr,when in acutuality its 1272,but I have years of data that tells me that. so for me I have to eat less than MFP and calculators give me by 200-300 calories. although I cant do 1200 thats too little for me and my activity. I lose weight super slowly even when trying,but I have health issues and things are wonky. so when I have say a 1000 calorie deficit,for me and I dont know why I dont lose 2lbs a week. I lose if Im lucky half a lb a month. I do better at maintaining my weight than anything lol.
all my tests come back normal too so no thyroid issues or anything that should hinder weight loss. so I just said F it and am maintaining and working out,walking,etc Im losing fat though so thats a plus. but even if I didnt eat back my calories from exercise I still wouldnt lose as quick as calculators state but then again everything is an estimate.I have to watch though because its easy for me to gain it.so I will stick to what Im doing and either get in better shape and lose the fat I need to over the next millenium(lol) or I wont. Trust me I do know your struggle with weight loss. it takes forever for me to show a loss on the scale when Im trying to lose. months in fact. but I also take meds that make me retain water longer than usual so thats part of it,my loss is being masked by water retention. just keep going and give it some time and see what happens.
if your weight continues to climb and you are weighing everything then you need to see a dr to see why. I know excess calories caused me to become overweight,I was at a healthy weight most of my life too. then one day I ate the same but wasnt as active so I started gaining the weight. maybe you arent moving as much as you were before? that could be a common factor too. But good luck and hope you see the numbers go down soon.3 -
CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »Amandachanges wrote: »Well I’m DEFINITELY not eating excessive calories. I struggle to hit the 1,200 mark more often than not.
but you said you are not losing so you are eating maintenance calories(if you were eating excess calories you would be gaining actual fat). its very easy to do that, I dont know if you are weighing everything yet, but prepackaged food can be off by up to 20% per serving, no two pieces of fruit the same size will weigh the same or be the same calories, a tsp of peanut butter can be 1.5-2 tsp if not weighed,oils are very calorie rich so if you use any oils(without going back and reading all the posts) and not weigh/measure them that adds up too. you have to weigh all solids and semi solids including prepackaged food and measure all liquids.
I learned the hard way when I used measuring cups and didnt weigh food.I lost weight at first but I gained back half of what I lost a few months down the road. once I started weighing everything and using the proper entries I started losing again. if you arent losing then you are eating more than 1200 which Im sure someone already stated that. you could also be retaining water for some reason, could be inflammation,could be caused by some meds you may take. if you are using a bmr calculator and have health issues that can be off too.
I know MFP and other calculators give me 1400-1500 for a bmr,when in acutuality its 1272,but I have years of data that tells me that. so for me I have to eat less than MFP and calculators give me by 200-300 calories. although I cant do 1200 thats too little for me and my activity. I lose weight super slowly even when trying,but I have health issues and things are wonky. so when I have say a 1000 calorie deficit,for me and I dont know why I dont lose 2lbs a week. I lose if Im lucky half a lb a month. I do better at maintaining my weight than anything lol.
all my tests come back normal too so no thyroid issues or anything that should hinder weight loss. so I just said F it and am maintaining and working out,walking,etc Im losing fat though so thats a plus. but even if I didnt eat back my calories from exercise I still wouldnt lose as quick as calculators state but then again everything is an estimate.I have to watch though because its easy for me to gain it.so I will stick to what Im doing and either get in better shape and lose the fat I need to over the next millenium(lol) or I wont. Trust me I do know your struggle with weight loss. it takes forever for me to show a loss on the scale when Im trying to lose. months in fact. but I also take meds that make me retain water longer than usual so thats part of it,my loss is being masked by water retention. just keep going and give it some time and see what happens.
if your weight continues to climb and you are weighing everything then you need to see a dr to see why. I know excess calories caused me to become overweight,I was at a healthy weight most of my life too. then one day I ate the same but wasnt as active so I started gaining the weight. maybe you arent moving as much as you were before? that could be a common factor too. But good luck and hope you see the numbers go down soon.
If my maintenance caloric allotment is 1,200kcal’s a day at 228 lbs, I am rife with fear over what my maintenance will be at 125 lbs! Seriously, do you think a person lugging around an excess 100 lbs could possibly have a maintenance level of 1200? And if that is the case, what then? 700kcal’s a day in order to make that 500 calorie cut in order to lose half a pound a week? If that’s the case, I’m giving up. What really has me befuddled is the fact that for months (if not a year) prior to this journey, I basically ate whatever I wanted. I drank a 32oz. vat of either Vernor’s or Sprite from McDonald’s nearly everyday. I ate all assortments of fast food, cooked with butter, pizza night every Friday was no-holds-bar (I ate till I was full). We even went to Olive Garden at least once a month and I ordered the Chicken Fettuccine with EXTRA Alfredo sauce. I played with the numbers for an average week of the “old me”, and I was ingesting between 2,000-3,000 a day (sometimes more). Yet over the past year my weight has remained between 236-240lbs, consistently. So I can safely say that at an average weight between those numbers, my maintenance level (conservatively) at an average weight of 238 lbs., was 2,500kcal’s.
Now jump ahead, as of today my scale is recalibrated. I stepped on it this morning, and my weight is 228 lbs. Thus, I have lost 10 lbs. could my maintenance level of 2,500kcal’s at 238 lbs be reduced to 1,200kcal’s at 228 lbs? I can’t imagine! And if that’s the case, how much lower will it drop if I’m blessed with another 10 lb. loss?
As far as portions and weighing my foods, yes...I am. My trusty food scale is hard at work. Funny thing is, when I was losing those first ten pounds I wasn’t weighing my foods. Now that I am, I see that I was 5-10% off in any given meal. Some overestimated, some under...so I think it kinda evened itself out. That and my youngest child takes little bites out of my food, which I cannot possibly account for.
You really are a trooper, sticking with it while only losing 1/2 lb. a month. Honestly, I’d give up! I’m putting way too much time and effort into this to see little return, and it’s frustrating me. My guess is that you don’t have 100+ lbs. to lose? I would think, and every calculator/Doctor/website is telling me that at my current weight and caloric intake I should be losing 2-3 lbs a week.3
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