Help with number shock

insideoutsocks7
insideoutsocks7 Posts: 24 Member
edited November 27 in Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
I have been playing number games with food for ***years*** (I'm 23 have had an issue on/and off since 12, but it's been particularly bad this past year). I recently hit a low and was restricting to 1,000 kcal a day and was starting to feel really sick. In the past few months with the encouragement of my boyfriend I increased it to 1,300 without including fruit, veggies and coffee with half and half. I've been trying to excerize lately to build back some muscle mass, and record my intake without and of the "cheats". My boyfriend wants me to set a goal at 1850, but the number terrifies me and makes me feel like I'm going to get fat. I work an office job, but I do walk to work or bike to work several times a week, as well as bike the stores, for entertainment ect ( I can't drive, no license). I weight about 115 and am 5'7.5". I feel like 1,650 kcal would be much more appropriate. Any advice?

Also, yes, I have seen a therapist.
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Replies

  • Unknown
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  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    insideoutsocks7 wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    What did your therapist suggest, in terms of calorie goals?

    Not much tbh. We only spoke about food once and she just suggested that my eating habits are "not in the middle of the bell curve" (we'd spent several other sessions addressing which I found to be more pressing) I'm not sure I'm going back, because I just generally have my doubts about the effectiveness of therapy. Maybe it would be more helpful to speak with a nutritionist?

    It can take a couple of tries to find a therapist you click with and your previous therapist may not have had a lot of experience with disordered eating patterns. The thing is that these kinds of feelings around food can be hard to sort out without experienced help. Another therapist, a registered dietitian with experience around eating disorders, or a support group.
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  • Laces918
    Laces918 Posts: 36 Member
    My opinion just go up to what you are comfortable with for a couple weeks and go from there. It is very easy to make adjustments after you see how your body responds to it. Do 1650 for a couple weeks or month however long and if your comfortable going up after that do it.
  • Laces918
    Laces918 Posts: 36 Member
    She said she was at 1000 calories obviously 1650 woul led be much better than that. And I’m sure if she ate 1650 for 2 weeks to a month it’s not going to be terrible then she can go up as she is comfortable. Maybe you missed the part where I said for a short amount of time. Wasn’t telling her to stay there.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    edited July 2018
    Laces918 wrote: »
    She said she was at 1000 calories obviously 1650 woul led be much better than that. And I’m sure if she ate 1650 for 2 weeks to a month it’s not going to be terrible then she can go up as she is comfortable. Maybe you missed the part where I said for a short amount of time. Wasn’t telling her to stay there.

    actually she says she is at 1300.

    Plus, given that she has an eating disorder, she wont be 'comfortable' with it.
  • Laces918
    Laces918 Posts: 36 Member
    She won’t be comfortable with that but she will be comfortable at 1850? Just my thought she will see that it doesn’t make her look fat after she is at 1650 then she will feel like she can move up. And you don’t know how she will feel only she would know after she tried it.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    1) get a different therapist. one who listens and helps you develop a treatment plan or gives you one. I've not had the same issue but when i saw a therapist, i was frequently given homework
    2) consider doing a plan for strength training. there are links at the top of the forum, you can do weights, machines or bodyweight
    3) you will probably need to eat more calories. i would guess-and it's only a guess-you need to eat at least 1650. you might see weight gain but it will be healthy weight. and healthy weight is good

    -not a doctor or a therapist
  • billkansas
    billkansas Posts: 267 Member
    I recommend you get into serious weight training.... Starting Strength is my favorite beginner program. I think weight training will stimulate your appetite and I think you'll find that getting stronger is addictive. Best wishes.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    edited July 2018
    billkansas wrote: »
    I recommend you get into serious weight training.... Starting Strength is my favorite beginner program. I think weight training will stimulate your appetite and I think you'll find that getting stronger is addictive. Best wishes.

    doest work that way for everyone though. weigh training for me dulls my appetite,but the day after for me I want to eat everything. so hopefully thats not the case with OP because it could trigger things
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    Trex5009 wrote: »
    I’m 5”5 and I eat 2200 calories a day to gain weight. I weigh 131. Try it out, if you don’t like the results, you can always lower the calories. You got this.

    what you eat for calories is not going to work for everyone. and if she has issues with eating enough now suggesting more just because you can eat more is not good advice. Im almost 5'7 anf if I ate 2200 calories and Im active. I would gain weight(my BMR is lower than the calculators state)
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    Why are people recommending things like serious weight training for someone who clearly has body image issues and a possible eating disorder?

    One person suggested serious weight training. My suggestion was more to make the work she's currently doing more effective for adding muscle. While she likely needs to gain some body fat it's still a good idea to work towards adding lean mass for a variety of health reasons. While I hate the phrase "skinny fat" it's what happens when someone with an eating disorder adds only fat.
  • billkansas
    billkansas Posts: 267 Member
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    Why are people recommending things like serious weight training for someone who clearly has body image issues and a possible eating disorder?

    I know nothing about eating disorders.. but can it hurt? In my experience, strength training gave me a concrete reason to eat more and better food. You eat better because you don't want your time in the gym to be wasted.

    i think strength training is for everyone... especially the weak and elderly. Who else needs it more?
  • Unknown
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  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    insideoutsocks7 wrote: »
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    Why are people recommending things like serious weight training for someone who clearly has body image issues and a possible eating disorder?

    I actually wouldn't say I have a body image issue. I think I look pretty good and I don't desire to loose maybe more than 5 more pounds to be extremely honest. I have an OCD diagnosis and I think the calorie fixation has a lot to do with that. At the same time, I've been extremely uncomfortable with my body in the past the couple of times I was over 125. The heaviest I've ever been was 132 and I was only moderately active so a lot of it was body fat, and I wanted to cry everyday. I guess it depends on what you define as a healthy weight range to be happy with 🤷

    125-132 is not a big difference and I doubt you had a lot of body fat with just a 7 lb difference. your weight can fluctuate that much in a day from many things including that time of the month. you dont have one static number for weight.its a weight range.
  • comptonelizabeth
    comptonelizabeth Posts: 1,701 Member
    insideoutsocks7 wrote: »
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    Why are people recommending things like serious weight training for someone who clearly has body image issues and a possible eating disorder?

    I actually wouldn't say I have a body image issue. I think I look pretty good and I don't desire to loose maybe more than 5 more pounds to be extremely honest. I have an OCD diagnosis and I think the calorie fixation has a lot to do with that. At the same time, I've been extremely uncomfortable with my body in the past the couple of times I was over 125. The heaviest I've ever been was 132 and I was only moderately active so a lot of it was body fat, and I wanted to cry everyday. I guess it depends on what you define as a healthy weight range to be happy with 🤷

    I'm glad you don't have body image issues. I can relate to the ocd thing which I've struggled with most of my life (as a child I became obsessed with the notion that I could only eat 6 items of food each day!) Is your therapist addressing those issues?
    At 5' 7 I'd say 132 lbs is unlikely to equal a lot of body fat but we're all different, I guess
  • comptonelizabeth
    comptonelizabeth Posts: 1,701 Member
    usmcmp wrote: »
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    Why are people recommending things like serious weight training for someone who clearly has body image issues and a possible eating disorder?

    One person suggested serious weight training. My suggestion was more to make the work she's currently doing more effective for adding muscle. While she likely needs to gain some body fat it's still a good idea to work towards adding lean mass for a variety of health reasons. While I hate the phrase "skinny fat" it's what happens when someone with an eating disorder adds only fat.

    I get that but the potential problem is that the training then becomes obsessive too.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    insideoutsocks7 wrote: »
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    Why are people recommending things like serious weight training for someone who clearly has body image issues and a possible eating disorder?

    I actually wouldn't say I have a body image issue. I think I look pretty good and I don't desire to loose maybe more than 5 more pounds to be extremely honest. I have an OCD diagnosis and I think the calorie fixation has a lot to do with that. At the same time, I've been extremely uncomfortable with my body in the past the couple of times I was over 125. The heaviest I've ever been was 132 and I was only moderately active so a lot of it was body fat, and I wanted to cry everyday. I guess it depends on what you define as a healthy weight range to be happy with 🤷

    I'm glad you don't have body image issues. I can relate to the ocd thing which I've struggled with most of my life (as a child I became obsessed with the notion that I could only eat 6 items of food each day!) Is your therapist addressing those issues?
    At 5' 7 I'd say 132 lbs is unlikely to equal a lot of body fat but we're all different, I guess

    OP is 115lbs, not 132?
  • Deviette
    Deviette Posts: 978 Member
    edited August 2018
    insideoutsocks7 wrote: »
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    Why are people recommending things like serious weight training for someone who clearly has body image issues and a possible eating disorder?

    I actually wouldn't say I have a body image issue. I think I look pretty good and I don't desire to loose maybe more than 5 more pounds to be extremely honest. I have an OCD diagnosis and I think the calorie fixation has a lot to do with that. At the same time, I've been extremely uncomfortable with my body in the past the couple of times I was over 125. The heaviest I've ever been was 132 and I was only moderately active so a lot of it was body fat, and I wanted to cry everyday. I guess it depends on what you define as a healthy weight range to be happy with 🤷

    OP you've just said that when you were 132lbs you wanted to cry every day. This is definitely a body image issue. If you think you look good now, why do you want to lose any more weight? What do you want to gain from that? If you already know you're undereating, and am looking to increase your calorie consumption, why are you looking to lose weight?

    If you had other more pressing issues to speak with your therapist about, that's fine, but now you should make some time to speak about this. If you find yourself making excuses not to speak about it, then you're just reinforcing the fact that you definitely should be speaking about it. If you want a new therapist, get a new therapist, but speak about this soon, please. From what you're saying you do not sound like someone who has good relationship with their body, weight and eating.

    If you are starting to work out, you will definitely want to eat more calories.
  • comptonelizabeth
    comptonelizabeth Posts: 1,701 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    insideoutsocks7 wrote: »
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    Why are people recommending things like serious weight training for someone who clearly has body image issues and a possible eating disorder?

    I actually wouldn't say I have a body image issue. I think I look pretty good and I don't desire to loose maybe more than 5 more pounds to be extremely honest. I have an OCD diagnosis and I think the calorie fixation has a lot to do with that. At the same time, I've been extremely uncomfortable with my body in the past the couple of times I was over 125. The heaviest I've ever been was 132 and I was only moderately active so a lot of it was body fat, and I wanted to cry everyday. I guess it depends on what you define as a healthy weight range to be happy with 🤷

    I'm glad you don't have body image issues. I can relate to the ocd thing which I've struggled with most of my life (as a child I became obsessed with the notion that I could only eat 6 items of food each day!) Is your therapist addressing those issues?
    At 5' 7 I'd say 132 lbs is unlikely to equal a lot of body fat but we're all different, I guess

    OP is 115lbs, not 132?

    Yes I know, I was referring to her second comment, where she states that her heaviest weight was 132 lbs? Even at that weight, with her height, it's unlikely to be a huge amount of body fat
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