That look

fittocycle · July 2018

I've been maintaining for a while but today while out for a walk, I got "the look." I was talking with another women who had been biking and stopped for a water break. We were talking about the surrounding trails and she mentioned that she was just getting back into biking and how difficult it was to get back into shape. When I said, yeah, it's tough, I got the look. You know the look. It's how can you know what it's like to get back into shape (or be overweight, or struggle with weight, etc.). Funny how we judge people when we know nothing about them! Even though she was heavier than me, she was definitely in better shape for biking. I haven't been on a bike in over three years!!

psychod787 · July 2018

fittocycle wrote: »

I've been maintaining for a while but today while out for a walk, I got "the look." I was talking with another women who had been biking and stopped for a water break. We were talking about the surrounding trails and she mentioned that she was just getting back into biking and how difficult it was to get back into shape. When I said, yeah, it's tough, I got the look. You know the look. It's how can you know what it's like to get back into shape (or be overweight, or struggle with weight, etc.). Funny how we judge people when we know nothing about them! Even though she was heavier than me, she was definitely in better shape for biking. I haven't been on a bike in over three years!!

pardon me taking liberties, but you are an attractive lady! I will give you a look!

DancingMoosie · July 2018

Yes, people forget that we all started somewhere. I get it. Some people won't even ask me for advice, because they assume that I am so far advanced that I wouldn't give them anything relevant to themselves.

TavistockToad · July 2018

DancingMoosie wrote: »

Yes, people forget that we all started somewhere. I get it. Some people won't even ask me for advice, because they assume that I am so far advanced that I wouldn't give them anything relevant to themselves.

Drives me mad the 'you're thin, what could you possibly know about losing weight' mentality!

rainbow198 · July 2018

I definitely can relate to this.

Some people have assumed I've been fit my whole life and can't relate to being overweight. But I've been overweight most of life and only been fit and at a healthy weight for the last few years!

You just don't know what another person has been through and where they started from.

JeromeBarry1 · July 2018

I do not expect ever to see a market for custom made t-shirts showing us at our most obese and slovenly. No, not even for men.

pinuplove · July 2018

JeromeBarry1 wrote: »

I do not expect ever to see a market for custom made t-shirts showing us at our most obese and slovenly. No, not even for men.

That was going to be my suggestion - a screen print tee of your 'before' photo.

JeromeBarry1 · July 2018

pinuplove wrote: »

JeromeBarry1 wrote: »

I do not expect ever to see a market for custom made t-shirts showing us at our most obese and slovenly. No, not even for men.

That was going to be my suggestion - a screen print tee of your 'before' photo.

There does exist a 300 lb butt shot of me. No. Just no.

pinuplove · July 2018

JeromeBarry1 wrote: »

pinuplove wrote: »

JeromeBarry1 wrote: »

I do not expect ever to see a market for custom made t-shirts showing us at our most obese and slovenly. No, not even for men.

That was going to be my suggestion - a screen print tee of your 'before' photo.

There does exist a 300 lb butt shot of me. No. Just no.

But then nobody would know it was you. You'd just be wearing a t-shirt with some guy's big *kitten* on it. Awkward!

fittocycle · July 2018

Oh gosh, my before pic would be terrible! Back in high school I weighed more than 70 pounds than I do now. I was also told once that I had absolutely no muscle tone by a ballet instructor. I lift weights today, do yoga, walk, etc. and I do finally have muscle. And there isn't a single day- not one- that I don't think about what I eat. Ok, some days I think about it more than others, but still!

William54321 · July 2018

People judge in the now, never thinking someone can do what you have accomplished. Be proud and dont give the look a second thought

CSARdiver · July 2018

We need to revitalize the art of conversation.

The majority of really fit people I know were all overweight at some point. Naturally thin does not exist.

Cheer people on when you seem them doing the right thing. That is doing the right thing.

cwolfman13 · July 2018

I was having a conversation the other day with a young female colleague of mine who's been going strong in the weight room and losing weight since last August. She didn't have a ton of weight to lose really and always looked good...she looks fab now and you can really tell she's put in the work in the weight room.

She hit her goal weight about a month ago and we were having a conversation about maintaining weight and how she was having difficulties with some aspects of it...mentally...the physical training demands...keeping on with healthy eating most of the time, etc.

I said something to the tune of, "yeah...I can relate." She never knew me as a fat guy...all she's ever known is the guy that brings in his cooler full of oats, lean meat, salads, quinoa, etc and the guy that rides a bike a lot and lifts weights...I got the look for sure, and then I showed her my before picture which is actually a picture of me about 14 Lbs from my starting weight...mind blown!

apullum · July 2018

You know, I think about this a lot. I always smile and wave at other runners/walkers--I usually just see two or three people on my route, so don't worry, my arm is not constantly waving

Anyway, I especially try to look friendly and non-judgmental toward people who are overweight or appear to be newbie runners. I hope it doesn't come across as creepy. I know I look more like a "stereotypical" runner now that I'm thinner, but about three years ago I weighed 100 pounds more. This is the first time in my life that I've ever been an "ideal" weight. I know what it's like to be the obese runner, even if nobody I see during a run realizes that I know that.

AnnPT77 · July 2018

I've found an alternate side of this to be true, too, and kind of dislocating to me when I first encountered it.

I've been quite active for around 16 years, during most of which I was obese (BMI a bit over 30). For many years now, I've helped with my rowing club's learn-to-row class. I used to get a positive reaction - a "can do" reaction - when I showed some of the beginners who are heavier or less-fit people how to do certain things** in ways that are more accommodative to more bulk or less flexibility. I looked like them, I could do the thing, so they thought they could do the thing.

These last couple of years (BMI 22), demoing the same things in the same way, I get the "yeah, sure" reaction. They don't believe me: They don't think they can do it.

I guess I need the "fat Ann rower" photo t-shirt for the learn-to-row class . . . in the usual safety neon yellow color, of course.

**One specific example: Fitter athletes get into a single rowing shell by stepping onto the boat's deck, then doing a sort of one-legged squat to get onto the seat, which is only a couple inches higher than your supporting foot. It's a no-go for a lot of older, less fit, less flexible or heavier people. Instead, you can sit on the dock and lever your butt onto the seat, do a modified squat while using a part of the boat called a rigger to help you keep your balance, or a couple of other options.

alteredsteve175 · July 2018

And I thought this was going to be a conversation about a man who said something he should not have said. And got "That look"

Not that I have ever done that. HAHA!

This was much better. And very insightful. A good reminder to make no assumptions about people that you don't know.

HeyJudii · July 2018

HeyJudii · July 2018

apullum wrote: »

You know, I think about this a lot. I always smile and wave at other runners/walkers--I usually just see two or three people on my route, so don't worry, my arm is not constantly waving Anyway, I especially try to look friendly and non-judgmental toward people who are overweight or appear to be newbie runners. I hope it doesn't come across as creepy. I know I look more like a "stereotypical" runner now that I'm thinner, but about three years ago I weighed 100 pounds more. This is the first time in my life that I've ever been an "ideal" weight. I know what it's like to be the obese runner, even if nobody I see during a run realizes that I know that.

I want to give words of encouragement and pride in what they are doing for themselves, but I am an introvert and anyway feel that they would just think I was some demented creep.

shaf238 · July 2018

rainbow198 wrote: »

I definitely can relate to this.

Some people have assumed I've been fit my whole life and can't relate to being overweight. But I've been overweight most of life and only been fit and at a healthy weight for the last few years!

You just don't know what another person has been through and where they started from.

Exactly. People see you as you are now and think it's always been that way. They have no idea the amount of hard work and sweat that went into it.

Kst76 · July 2018

Yesterday a student at the hospital I work at came up to me and asked if I lifted weights. I said no. I haven't in a few years. She was like...no way...look at your arms. You can clearly tell.

What I didn't tell her is that I lost weight and muscles I had hidden under all that is now showing. lol
I used to lift weights a few years ago so that must still hang around.

apullum · July 2018

HeyJudii wrote: »

apullum wrote: »

You know, I think about this a lot. I always smile and wave at other runners/walkers--I usually just see two or three people on my route, so don't worry, my arm is not constantly waving Anyway, I especially try to look friendly and non-judgmental toward people who are overweight or appear to be newbie runners. I hope it doesn't come across as creepy. I know I look more like a "stereotypical" runner now that I'm thinner, but about three years ago I weighed 100 pounds more. This is the first time in my life that I've ever been an "ideal" weight. I know what it's like to be the obese runner, even if nobody I see during a run realizes that I know that.

I want to give words of encouragement and pride in what they are doing for themselves, but I am an introvert and anyway feel that they would just think I was some demented creep.

Yeah, I think that saying something would be creepier than just smiling and waving, so I don't say anything. (Although sometimes I see people running in clothing that is clearly not comfortable, like a sports bra that isn't supportive at all, and I REALLY want to recommend something better...but I don't.)

keiram555 · July 2018

Yes! I lost my weight pretty rapidly, and my mind is still catching up to my body. My self esteem is pretty low, in other words. Because of this, I still describe myself as chubby, and often get the same "look" I would have been giving just a year ago. I feel so bad every time, but it's hard to help!

Avidkeo · July 2018

I have caught myself giving that look, and stopped midway because I recognise now I dont know their story. I usually use it as an opportunity to have a conversation and am met with the same realisation.

CarvedTones · July 2018

What I have to be careful about is humor that I think of as being about me and have someone else think it is just about them. While you are overweight, it's okay to joke about being overweight but not once you have lost weight. The look you get if you do that is pretty withering and it doesn't soften when you say you used to be overweight also.

OhMsDiva · August 2018

I do not have to worry about the look. Although I have lost 200 lbs or so I am nowhere near skinny. I once had a coworker ask why am I not smaller when I appear to eat so healthy. I showed her my before pic and she almost fell over. I guess the moral of the story is that you cannot judge any book by its cover.

VictoriaTuel · August 2018

I relate to this so much! I'm currently 172cm/5'7.5" 59kg/130lbs, and I just moved to a new job last September. None of my coworkers believe that I used to weigh 23+kg/50+lbs more than I do now. I've shown them pictures and they still don't completely believe me, and give me the look just for saying I used to weigh more!

I've only been this fit for less than a year and it's such an adjustment in what I can say. I've always been self confident, but now when I express confidence in my appearance, most people give me the "be quiet skinny minnie" look (or just outright say that), while when I weighed more everyone celebrated my confidence. What makes me the most sad is that fewer people seem to believe my compliments to them are genuine now. I may be smaller than you, but I can tell you're strong and beautiful too!

I think most people would be happier if we just believed other people have good intentions

DancingMoosie · August 2018

TavistockToad wrote: »

DancingMoosie wrote: »

Yes, people forget that we all started somewhere. I get it. Some people won't even ask me for advice, because they assume that I am so far advanced that I wouldn't give them anything relevant to themselves.

Drives me mad the 'you're thin, what could you possibly know about losing weight' mentality!

Yes exactly

CSARdiver · August 2018

VictoriaTuel wrote: »

I relate to this so much! I'm currently 172cm/5'7.5" 59kg/130lbs, and I just moved to a new job last September. None of my coworkers believe that I used to weigh 23+kg/50+lbs more than I do now. I've shown them pictures and they still don't completely believe me, and give me the look just for saying I used to weigh more!

I've only been this fit for less than a year and it's such an adjustment in what I can say. I've always been self confident, but now when I express confidence in my appearance, most people give me the "be quiet skinny minnie" look (or just outright say that), while when I weighed more everyone celebrated my confidence. What makes me the most sad is that fewer people seem to believe my compliments to them are genuine now. I may be smaller than you, but I can tell you're strong and beautiful too!

I think most people would be happier if we just believed other people have good intentions

Keystone of society. You cannot maintain any sort of healthy relationship if you believe other people have bad intentions.

batorkin · August 2018

It is crazy how different people treat me. Girls hit on me and smile at me, they take my number without second guessing, even men are much more likely to small talk with me. I actually had a girl approach ME for the first time in my life last weekend. Whenever I mention my journey over the last year, many people seem to "second guess" talking to me. It's an awful look. It is usually followed by "oh you're full of it!" or "yeah right!".

In a year, I have lost 96 pounds, got rid of my glasses, started embracing my baldness (shaving my head completely), and spent lots of time outside (I use to be as white as a ghost). I cannot recognize old pictures of myself, and I have been refused beer because of my driver's license photo. People use to say I look 35-36, now they say I look 27-30 (I am almost 32).

Best thing I have ever done for myself, my biggest regret is I didn't do it a decade sooner.

tcunbeliever · August 2018

I usually get that look from my family, along with the "you've always been thin" line...I started working out and being careful with food over 21 years ago and somehow they still attribute my healthy size to some kind of magic...it's not magic, it's just a lot of years of a lot of effort.

That look

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