Dark places

MichellePappert
MichellePappert Posts: 4 Member
edited November 28 in Introduce Yourself
Currently a stay at home mom while i await surgery for my lower back. Im a younger mom with 2 kids whos battling major depression, PTSD, severe anxiety, and degenerative disk disease. (currently having a small panic attack writing this since i dont post things online for motivation but currently needing it) I injured my lower back back in november of '17. Now i have to have surgery and have been taken out of work. SO i sit at home with just my mind, my 2 younger kids, and my husbands family who doesnt really care for me. While i can't workout or pick up my kids im struggling with my inner thoughts and could use some motivation to not dive into a gallon of ice cream and binge it out with netflix. Could use some friends...or anyone.

Replies

  • Kerschel
    Kerschel Posts: 36 Member
    Ah Michelle--you are going through a really challenging time. When these times come, it seems like they are here forever, but they're not. I too am struggling with horrible back pain and I'm not finding treatment. I also struggle with depression. So I understand what you may be going through. Can you get out of the house at all? That would help. go to a park and sit under a tree? Sit by a river or lake? Sometimes this is even too much, but it does help if you can do it. When is your surgery going to happen? Will they fuse the discs?
  • gabi_texanmom
    gabi_texanmom Posts: 201 Member
    Hi Michelle - I know how hard it is to feel so alone when you are surrounded by people. I hope you are able to find something to help ease the thoughts racing through your mind. Best of luck to you on your journey - I don't know if it will help you any since we are strangers, but I'm here to listen (read/write back - lol) if you need.
  • elsie6hickman
    elsie6hickman Posts: 3,864 Member
    Hi Michelle, first let me give you a hug and tell you that you are not alone. I know it feels that way, and I know what it is like when everything seems hopeless (I suffer from depression too). Are you on medication for your depression? I know a lot of people aren't, but I would urge you to see a psychiatrist and see what he thinks about medication for you. I've been on it for over 20 years and I have never had a problem with it. Even coming off one, I've never had a problem if you do it the way the Dr. says. That aside, can you push yourself to get outside and perhaps get a little sun on your face, even if it is just for a few minutes? Sometimes, it helps to jot down a few things you are grateful for - your children, your husband, your safety, your upcoming surgery for your back? It sounds like they may have a solution for you and that is a good thing. It's hard to feel rational when you are in such pain. Despite what you are going through, you are still a beautiful woman, and worthy of every good thing like has to offer. This will pass. If you have to indulge in ice cream, get yourself some Halo Top.
  • MichellePappert
    MichellePappert Posts: 4 Member
    Kerschel wrote: »
    Ah Michelle--you are going through a really challenging time. When these times come, it seems like they are here forever, but they're not. I too am struggling with horrible back pain and I'm not finding treatment. I also struggle with depression. So I understand what you may be going through. Can you get out of the house at all? That would help. go to a park and sit under a tree? Sit by a river or lake? Sometimes this is even too much, but it does help if you can do it. When is your surgery going to happen? Will they fuse the discs?

    I dont know when the surgery will be. They won’t be fusing the disks but just removing the damaged parts of the disks as well as fixing all the tears. I have a herniated disk pushing on the calsac to the point of it bursting. I try to stay as active as possible and take the kids for a walk. But with the younger one she likes to run off and I can’t push the stroller up our hills. So we’re confined to our yard. But I take what I can.
  • MichellePappert
    MichellePappert Posts: 4 Member
    elsie6hickman wrote: »
    Hi Michelle, first let me give you a hug and tell you that you are not alone. I know it feels that way, and I know what it is like when everything seems hopeless (I suffer from depression too). Are you on medication for your depression? I know a lot of people aren't, but I would urge you to see a psychiatrist and see what he thinks about medication for you. I've been on it for over 20 years and I have never had a problem with it. Even coming off one, I've never had a problem if you do it the way the Dr. says. That aside, can you push yourself to get outside and perhaps get a little sun on your face, even if it is just for a few minutes? Sometimes, it helps to jot down a few things you are grateful for - your children, your husband, your safety, your upcoming surgery for your back? It sounds like they may have a solution for you and that is a good thing. It's hard to feel rational when you are in such pain. Despite what you are going through, you are still a beautiful woman, and worthy of every good thing like has to offer. This will pass. If you have to indulge in ice cream, get yourself some Halo Top.

    Yes I’ve been on welbutrin for about a year. I used to take an SSRI but it messed with my body so badly it made my depression worse. Thankfully I’m on the right track with that. The Drs are still trying to get the right dosage to counteract with the PTSD and anxiety.
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