Ive fallen off the wagon & I'm scared...
GeauxL
Posts: 57 Member
I’ve been “dieting/life changing” for a little over a year, had great success-lost over 100lbs but over the last 2 weeks, I’ve really lost my focus & willpower & it scares me to death thinking I could start gaining & destroy all my hard work. I’ve skipped the gym a couple of times but still was pretty consistent with getting exercise in. My biggest falls have been overeating & eating the wrong things. At this point, with only about 10-15 more lbs to go, I usually am very strict during the weekdays & kind of “free lance” Friday & Saturdays. But lately Friday & Saturday turned into Sunday too & ive even had weekdays where I just went off the deep end & done things like baked/eaten brownies & other junk food. When I mess up, it’s usually with chips & other junk foods not big meals; although I have made some bad choices at restaurants during this time also. I guess all in all the last 2 weeks have been pretty frustrating & I just need to set my mind back & regain my composure to get back my willpower but it’s so damn hard. Any tips on how to “turn off” this funk & re focus? What do you guys do to reel yourselves in when you start losing control? I’m just scared that I’m going to fall right back into my old habits & the weight will start piling back on.
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Replies
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Have you taken a maintenance break in the last year? A couple of weeks eating at your maintenance level and then getting back to a deficit might help you out. It really sounds like you have "diet fatigue" and need a break.16
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1. You might be trying to restrict too much, and then binge later. Set a reasonable deficit.
2. Don't buy foods that are triggers for you. If you know what you are more likely to binge on, just don't keep them in the house.
3. Plan ahead and keep healthy foods on hand. Meal prep can help. Check menus before going out and know what healthy meals are available.11 -
A maintenance break is a motivator. It gives you a few weeks at maintenance to allow for some relaxing of "the rules", then you feel like you have the stamina to get back to losing. Bonus: you haven't gained any weight.
A break is as good as a vacation.
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You need to love yourself. Look at your progress over the last year. Losing 100 lbs is an awesome accomplishment .....maybe start journaling what you are feeling when you are triggered to binge. Keep healthy foods in the house just in case you can't stop the binge. It will at least be a better option than binging on junk food. Avoid restaurants until you can get back on track. Take an evening walk before you start to overeat. Drink lots of water. Maybe your mind has not caught up up with your weightloss. Have you thought about therapy and your relationship with food?. Life is scary I hope you find balance soon. Good luck on your journey....You will be great!!7
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If it's hard, you're not going to make it. A lifestyle change is for life. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?
Your problems didn't start 2 weeks ago, but one year ago. 100 pounds in a year is a lot when that (plus 10-15) was all you had to lose. (For comparison, I spent a year to lose my 50 excess pounds following MFP's recommended calorie intake). You can't keep on undereating and overexercising, and when you stop, you'll overeat to make up for it. It has nothing to do with willpower and focus.
Another thing is to divide foods into right and wrong. Don't do that. A diet can be more or less healthy, and you can eat anything in moderation. Demonizing foods only makes you crave them more.8 -
Hugs!
Your wagon sounds too strict.
Your diet should let you eat the occasional brownie or junk food, especially since you're so close to your goal and switching to maintenance.
Your diet should be one you can stick to for as long as it takes.11 -
i agree with taking a diet break
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks/p13 -
You've done an amazing job to get where you are and falling off is something most of us go through at some point. If you can, rather than label your stages of weight loss in dieting terms tell yourself this is now your healthy lifestyle and as others have suggested allow the occasional treat but not on set days and don't allow junk in the house. That way you have to think twice before something naughty passes your lips! It's a mental battle at times but just remember how much better you must already be feeling.
Today is a new day, nothing you can do about what went before so don't beat yourself up.... onwards and upwards xx
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I would also add that you may want to reevaluate your daily calorie allowance, if you have not already done so. Your rate of weight loss should slow as you get closer to your ideal body weight. If you have only 10-15 lbs. to go, your rate should probably be a half pound a week, give or take.
My daily calorie goal that I set when I was at 200 lbs. definitely did not work for me when I was at 175 lbs. I found myself ravenously hungry all of the time, which made me susceptible to overeating.7 -
I agree with a maintenance break. You've been doing this for a year - you know how awesome it is, and you can totally get back to it. Don't be afraid to ease off the gas for a little while. Your body and spirit will thank you.
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My two cents worth, your fear of gaining it back is a good thing. I'd be more concerned if you weren't concerned. You need a break. In my case, my 50th birthday was Saturday (we were on vacation in Chicago the week before) & I ate & drank what I wanted. I did go to 9Round, did a double & even got my 10 free birthday burpees! But I ate my favorite meal (lobster mac & cheese), had more than a couple tasty beverages & had chocolate cake for dessert.
I knew I'd gain some weight, but I didn't care because I knew I'd get back to the grind today & if you can't have a good time every once in a while, it isn't worth it.
I'm on a keto diet & I've learned that if I don't have my meals prepared & good food around, it's real easy for me to get the carb cravings & go off the rails. Just don't beat yourself up, we're all only human.2 -
You have a couple of different options. You could be less strict in the week so you're not bingeing at the weekend. You could be strict in the week and strict or stricter at the weekend. I suppose the first option might be the happiest medium, especially if you're telling yourself you can't or shouldn't have certain foods, which only makes you crave them more and feel more guilty after you've had them. You've lost 100 pounds and have 10-15 to go. I think you can allow yourself a bit of a rest for a couple of weeks to enjoy your success. If you've put on a couple of pounds through bingeing, that means you have about 12-17 pounds to go. That's doable. But why are you bingeing at the weekend in the first place? I think you need to tweak your eating behaviors and the emotional responses you have to food, because it sounds like you feel a sense of lack when faced with these foods you've told yourself are bad and off limits. No food is bad or good; some foods are more nutritious and some are less. That's it. Maybe if you give yourself permission to have anything you want, you'll gradually find you crave the weekend food less, and the weekday food becomes more of a preference for you, because you won't be pressuring or guilting yourself into avoiding the stuff labeled 'bad'. And remember, you've only been at this for a year. A lifestyle change is lifelong. Your healthier eating habits will settle in the long run, as your mindset and attitude towards food changes.2
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Thanks for all the insight & support. I’m basically taking the stance that “today is a new day”! I woke up, hit the gym, then actually went for a pretty rigorous walk. I’m gonna try & forget about the past 2 weeks & look forward to feeling better about making good choices & staying healthy.7
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My first diet ever was after pregnancy and lost 45 with weight watchers. I was so strict and highly motivated. But I did it.
It unraveled the first week of maintenance.
Reason: All the yummy goods that love to eat instead of eating them from time to time in smaller amounts within my calories for day or week, I set myself for overeating my happy foods, and gained the 45 plus another 50 back!
Teach oneself to enjoy the good things in life instead of boot camp tactics.3 -
You’re smart to be scared. Regaining is a big problem. As noted, 100lbs in a year is very aggressive. I’m generally not a fan of the diet break, but if you can maintain where you are for a bit, it might help you in the long run.
And I’m hoping you didn’t really mean you want to forget the last two weeks. There’s a warning there that might serve you going forward.0 -
mysteps2beauty wrote: »My first diet ever was after pregnancy and lost 45 with weight watchers. I was so strict and highly motivated. But I did it.
It unraveled the first week of maintenance.
Reason: All the yummy goods that love to eat instead of eating them from time to time in smaller amounts within my calories for day or week, I set myself for overeating my happy foods, and gained the 45 plus another 50 back!
Teach oneself to enjoy the good things in life instead of boot camp tactics.
Agreed! The same exact thing has happened to me many times, and now I'm retrying with a more 'for life' approach.1 -
My first diet, I felll off the wagon and I fell hard. I gained 80 lbs back. 80!!! I was so disgusted when I got on the scale. But I’ve learned a lot thanks to this community. All we need is a deficit to lose weight. This weekend I ate Red Lobster, had birthday cake, KitKats, and went to a Japanese restaurant. All for birthday celebrations. And yes, I tracked my calories, but like the replies before this, I’ve learned that it is okay to enjoy a piece of your best friend’s birthday cake, or eat the KitKats she brought you from Japan, or split the Ultimate Feast with fries with your husband at his grandma’s birthday lunch at Red Lobster. Don’t limit yourself and cut off all the good things in life. Just keep in mind how much you consume. All things in moderation. Enjoy food, enjoy life! You got this. Look what you’ve already done! You are a total rockstar!!1
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Part of my problem is, I am so strict during the week (was even stricter when I first started) that I don’t even allow myself anything that wouldn’t fall into the “healthy food” category even if It would fit into my calorie allowance for the day. That is something I NEED to change. I’ve been trying to look at this journey as a lifestyle change & not a diet but I kinda don’t know how to walk that fine line & change the way my brain is wired. For so long society has talked about diet diet diet, low fat, low carb, only “healthy” foods that I’m kinda brainwashed. But I’m now realizing, after losing & gaining weight many times, that I need to change the way I do things if I want to succeed-long term; I need to learn how to eat like a thin person & not a fat person who can only have “diet food”. So now I’m going to try to incorporate those foods that I used to avoid at all cost until cheat days & start including them in my caloric allowances if/when I want something a little different. It’s all about serving size & calories; now I just need to take the leap of faith & start training myself to not be afraid of having a few chips or chocolate or higher calorie/fat foods during the week-within my nutritional goals. I’ve worked so hard to lose the weight, it’s time to work hard on recognizing that I am no longer that person who has to be on a very strict diet because I have so much weight to lose & that Its time to change my relationship with food. Thanks again for all the help & im going to make it a point to use these message boards more often, it’s so good to hear/read about people like me with the same issues.
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I’ve lost 100+ lbs and closing in on 12 years maintaining. I made my goal and kept tracking my food for 5 more years. I finally got to a place where I could maintain without tracking for long periods.
But I still would have times when the scale would start moving up. 3 times I went back to tracking. It has worked every time.
This last year, year 11, I finally started to think, I’m not going to gain it back unless I lose my mind. That’s always possible, but I won’t know it.
Hitting goal is sort of the halfway mark.3 -
Part of my problem is, I am so strict during the week (was even stricter when I first started) that I don’t even allow myself anything that wouldn’t fall into the “healthy food” category even if It would fit into my calorie allowance for the day. That is something I NEED to change. I’ve been trying to look at this journey as a lifestyle change & not a diet but I kinda don’t know how to walk that fine line & change the way my brain is wired. For so long society has talked about diet diet diet, low fat, low carb, only “healthy” foods that I’m kinda brainwashed. But I’m now realizing, after losing & gaining weight many times, that I need to change the way I do things if I want to succeed-long term; I need to learn how to eat like a thin person & not a fat person who can only have “diet food”. So now I’m going to try to incorporate those foods that I used to avoid at all cost until cheat days & start including them in my caloric allowances if/when I want something a little different. It’s all about serving size & calories; now I just need to take the leap of faith & start training myself to not be afraid of having a few chips or chocolate or higher calorie/fat foods during the week-within my nutritional goals. I’ve worked so hard to lose the weight, it’s time to work hard on recognizing that I am no longer that person who has to be on a very strict diet because I have so much weight to lose & that Its time to change my relationship with food. Thanks again for all the help & im going to make it a point to use these message boards more often, it’s so good to hear/read about people like me with the same issues. So great to read this. I've got chills. Love it when we gain powerful insights. Great post. 2
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Thanks for all the insight & support. I’m basically taking the stance that “today is a new day”! I woke up, hit the gym, then actually went for a pretty rigorous walk. I’m gonna try & forget about the past 2 weeks & look forward to feeling better about making good choices & staying healthy.
That's what it should be about......your health and cutting weight induced disease and meds!
You would end up feeling awful about yourself if you went on a bender and screwed up your hard work!0 -
Some of the things that have helped me to endure is to eat my maintenance calories (while losing weight). This gives me a bit more wiggle room (in terms of calories) and helps me to feel as if I am not depriving myself.
Also, I try to incorporate something unusual (not in the typical American diet) into what I eat to help this whole way of eating thing not be boring. Sometimes I center my weekly meals around Paleo, Keto, low carb, high fat, gluten free -- just to mix the tastes up while staying within maintenance calories. I also add a lot of different spices to my food (Penzeys has a great selection) and I look at international cuisine ideas to help break up the monotony. I like stir "fried" veggies, drunken spaghetti (more sauce less spaghetti), various mushrooms in place of carbs.
Overall, I keep my carbs around 100 g and my sugar around 50 g and that seems to help me stay on track. I keep meat protein snacks (they range in calories from around 80 to 150) on hand and flavored seltzer water to keep me from wanting to gnaw off my fingers.
It's all a process to distract me and help me control my intake.
Also, I allow my self some treats. I use a melon ball scoop of ice cream between 2 mini cookies and make mini ice cream sandwiches. 3 mini sandwiches are under 200 calories.1 -
please please please don't give up now! i just did this and it sucks soooo bad! oh and its not the first time and it has been for way more weight before, but at least before there were like almost decades between gaining it back, anyways, the current is that i lost 40 pounds and was at 201, and my intermediary HUGE goal was to get under 200. And i totally freaked out, and lost it. like slow motion watched myself destroy all my hardwork from afar.. and what sucks is I probably did get under 200 and into onderland, but i had just ran a marathon and was sore and retaining water and just didn't weigh myself at the right time...bleh.... so yeah. i totally was so close i could taste it and just made small bad decision after small bad decision after small bad decision, etcccccc and here i am now starting completely over AGAIN just 5 months later. so yeah! please learn from my bs and just stick with it, you got goals to make dude! you got this! just get back to basics one day at a time. just do what works and makes you feel good and you will get to your goal before you know it ! yeahhh!0
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