Ive fallen off the wagon & I'm scared...

I’ve been “dieting/life changing” for a little over a year, had great success-lost over 100lbs but over the last 2 weeks, I’ve really lost my focus & willpower & it scares me to death thinking I could start gaining & destroy all my hard work. I’ve skipped the gym a couple of times but still was pretty consistent with getting exercise in. My biggest falls have been overeating & eating the wrong things. At this point, with only about 10-15 more lbs to go, I usually am very strict during the weekdays & kind of “free lance” Friday & Saturdays. But lately Friday & Saturday turned into Sunday too & ive even had weekdays where I just went off the deep end & done things like baked/eaten brownies & other junk food. When I mess up, it’s usually with chips & other junk foods not big meals; although I have made some bad choices at restaurants during this time also. I guess all in all the last 2 weeks have been pretty frustrating & I just need to set my mind back & regain my composure to get back my willpower but it’s so damn hard. Any tips on how to “turn off” this funk & re focus? What do you guys do to reel yourselves in when you start losing control? I’m just scared that I’m going to fall right back into my old habits & the weight will start piling back on.

Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    edited August 2018
  • pinkperil
    pinkperil Posts: 5,072 Member
    You've done an amazing job to get where you are and falling off is something most of us go through at some point. If you can, rather than label your stages of weight loss in dieting terms tell yourself this is now your healthy lifestyle and as others have suggested allow the occasional treat but not on set days and don't allow junk in the house. That way you have to think twice before something naughty passes your lips! It's a mental battle at times but just remember how much better you must already be feeling.

    Today is a new day, nothing you can do about what went before so don't beat yourself up.... onwards and upwards xx
  • JBApplebee
    JBApplebee Posts: 481 Member
    My two cents worth, your fear of gaining it back is a good thing. I'd be more concerned if you weren't concerned. You need a break. In my case, my 50th birthday was Saturday (we were on vacation in Chicago the week before) & I ate & drank what I wanted. I did go to 9Round, did a double & even got my 10 free birthday burpees! But I ate my favorite meal (lobster mac & cheese), had more than a couple tasty beverages & had chocolate cake for dessert.

    I knew I'd gain some weight, but I didn't care because I knew I'd get back to the grind today & if you can't have a good time every once in a while, it isn't worth it.

    I'm on a keto diet & I've learned that if I don't have my meals prepared & good food around, it's real easy for me to get the carb cravings & go off the rails. Just don't beat yourself up, we're all only human.
  • Millicent3015
    Millicent3015 Posts: 374 Member
    You have a couple of different options. You could be less strict in the week so you're not bingeing at the weekend. You could be strict in the week and strict or stricter at the weekend. I suppose the first option might be the happiest medium, especially if you're telling yourself you can't or shouldn't have certain foods, which only makes you crave them more and feel more guilty after you've had them. You've lost 100 pounds and have 10-15 to go. I think you can allow yourself a bit of a rest for a couple of weeks to enjoy your success. If you've put on a couple of pounds through bingeing, that means you have about 12-17 pounds to go. That's doable. But why are you bingeing at the weekend in the first place? I think you need to tweak your eating behaviors and the emotional responses you have to food, because it sounds like you feel a sense of lack when faced with these foods you've told yourself are bad and off limits. No food is bad or good; some foods are more nutritious and some are less. That's it. Maybe if you give yourself permission to have anything you want, you'll gradually find you crave the weekend food less, and the weekday food becomes more of a preference for you, because you won't be pressuring or guilting yourself into avoiding the stuff labeled 'bad'. And remember, you've only been at this for a year. A lifestyle change is lifelong. Your healthier eating habits will settle in the long run, as your mindset and attitude towards food changes.
  • mysteps2beauty
    mysteps2beauty Posts: 493 Member
    My first diet ever was after pregnancy and lost 45 with weight watchers. I was so strict and highly motivated. But I did it.

    It unraveled the first week of maintenance.

    Reason: All the yummy goods that love to eat instead of eating them from time to time in smaller amounts within my calories for day or week, I set myself for overeating my happy foods, and gained the 45 plus another 50 back!

    Teach oneself to enjoy the good things in life instead of boot camp tactics.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,529 Member
    You’re smart to be scared. Regaining is a big problem. As noted, 100lbs in a year is very aggressive. I’m generally not a fan of the diet break, but if you can maintain where you are for a bit, it might help you in the long run.

    And I’m hoping you didn’t really mean you want to forget the last two weeks. There’s a warning there that might serve you going forward.
  • juliejeanette1123
    juliejeanette1123 Posts: 13 Member
    My first diet ever was after pregnancy and lost 45 with weight watchers. I was so strict and highly motivated. But I did it.

    It unraveled the first week of maintenance.

    Reason: All the yummy goods that love to eat instead of eating them from time to time in smaller amounts within my calories for day or week, I set myself for overeating my happy foods, and gained the 45 plus another 50 back!

    Teach oneself to enjoy the good things in life instead of boot camp tactics.

    Agreed! The same exact thing has happened to me many times, and now I'm retrying with a more 'for life' approach.
  • gsnapmccool
    gsnapmccool Posts: 30 Member
    edited August 2018
    My first diet, I felll off the wagon and I fell hard. I gained 80 lbs back. 80!!! I was so disgusted when I got on the scale. But I’ve learned a lot thanks to this community. All we need is a deficit to lose weight. This weekend I ate Red Lobster, had birthday cake, KitKats, and went to a Japanese restaurant. All for birthday celebrations. And yes, I tracked my calories, but like the replies before this, I’ve learned that it is okay to enjoy a piece of your best friend’s birthday cake, or eat the KitKats she brought you from Japan, or split the Ultimate Feast with fries with your husband at his grandma’s birthday lunch at Red Lobster. Don’t limit yourself and cut off all the good things in life. Just keep in mind how much you consume. All things in moderation. Enjoy food, enjoy life! You got this. Look what you’ve already done! You are a total rockstar!!
  • GeauxL
    GeauxL Posts: 57 Member
    Part of my problem is, I am so strict during the week (was even stricter when I first started) that I don’t even allow myself anything that wouldn’t fall into the “healthy food” category even if It would fit into my calorie allowance for the day. That is something I NEED to change. I’ve been trying to look at this journey as a lifestyle change & not a diet but I kinda don’t know how to walk that fine line & change the way my brain is wired. For so long society has talked about diet diet diet, low fat, low carb, only “healthy” foods that I’m kinda brainwashed. But I’m now realizing, after losing & gaining weight many times, that I need to change the way I do things if I want to succeed-long term; I need to learn how to eat like a thin person & not a fat person who can only have “diet food”. So now I’m going to try to incorporate those foods that I used to avoid at all cost until cheat days & start including them in my caloric allowances if/when I want something a little different. It’s all about serving size & calories; now I just need to take the leap of faith & start training myself to not be afraid of having a few chips or chocolate or higher calorie/fat foods during the week-within my nutritional goals. I’ve worked so hard to lose the weight, it’s time to work hard on recognizing that I am no longer that person who has to be on a very strict diet because I have so much weight to lose & that Its time to change my relationship with food. Thanks again for all the help & im going to make it a point to use these message boards more often, it’s so good to hear/read about people like me with the same issues.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,529 Member
    I’ve lost 100+ lbs and closing in on 12 years maintaining. I made my goal and kept tracking my food for 5 more years. I finally got to a place where I could maintain without tracking for long periods.

    But I still would have times when the scale would start moving up. 3 times I went back to tracking. It has worked every time.

    This last year, year 11, I finally started to think, I’m not going to gain it back unless I lose my mind. That’s always possible, but I won’t know it.

    Hitting goal is sort of the halfway mark.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    GeauxL wrote: »
    Part of my problem is, I am so strict during the week (was even stricter when I first started) that I don’t even allow myself anything that wouldn’t fall into the “healthy food” category even if It would fit into my calorie allowance for the day. That is something I NEED to change. I’ve been trying to look at this journey as a lifestyle change & not a diet but I kinda don’t know how to walk that fine line & change the way my brain is wired. For so long society has talked about diet diet diet, low fat, low carb, only “healthy” foods that I’m kinda brainwashed. But I’m now realizing, after losing & gaining weight many times, that I need to change the way I do things if I want to succeed-long term; I need to learn how to eat like a thin person & not a fat person who can only have “diet food”. So now I’m going to try to incorporate those foods that I used to avoid at all cost until cheat days & start including them in my caloric allowances if/when I want something a little different. It’s all about serving size & calories; now I just need to take the leap of faith & start training myself to not be afraid of having a few chips or chocolate or higher calorie/fat foods during the week-within my nutritional goals. I’ve worked so hard to lose the weight, it’s time to work hard on recognizing that I am no longer that person who has to be on a very strict diet because I have so much weight to lose & that Its time to change my relationship with food. Thanks again for all the help & im going to make it a point to use these message boards more often, it’s so good to hear/read about people like me with the same issues.

    :heart: So great to read this. I've got chills. Love it when we gain powerful insights. Great post.
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,899 Member
    GeauxL wrote: »
    Thanks for all the insight & support. I’m basically taking the stance that “today is a new day”! I woke up, hit the gym, then actually went for a pretty rigorous walk. I’m gonna try & forget about the past 2 weeks & look forward to feeling better about making good choices & staying healthy.

    That's what it should be about......your health and cutting weight induced disease and meds!
    You would end up feeling awful about yourself if you went on a bender and screwed up your hard work!
  • Sunna_W
    Sunna_W Posts: 744 Member
    Some of the things that have helped me to endure is to eat my maintenance calories (while losing weight). This gives me a bit more wiggle room (in terms of calories) and helps me to feel as if I am not depriving myself.

    Also, I try to incorporate something unusual (not in the typical American diet) into what I eat to help this whole way of eating thing not be boring. Sometimes I center my weekly meals around Paleo, Keto, low carb, high fat, gluten free -- just to mix the tastes up while staying within maintenance calories. I also add a lot of different spices to my food (Penzeys has a great selection) and I look at international cuisine ideas to help break up the monotony. I like stir "fried" veggies, drunken spaghetti (more sauce less spaghetti), various mushrooms in place of carbs.

    Overall, I keep my carbs around 100 g and my sugar around 50 g and that seems to help me stay on track. I keep meat protein snacks (they range in calories from around 80 to 150) on hand and flavored seltzer water to keep me from wanting to gnaw off my fingers.

    It's all a process to distract me and help me control my intake.

    Also, I allow my self some treats. I use a melon ball scoop of ice cream between 2 mini cookies and make mini ice cream sandwiches. 3 mini sandwiches are under 200 calories.
  • yolohunter
    yolohunter Posts: 79 Member
    please please please don't give up now! i just did this and it sucks soooo bad! oh and its not the first time and it has been for way more weight before, but at least before there were like almost decades between gaining it back, anyways, the current is that i lost 40 pounds and was at 201, and my intermediary HUGE goal was to get under 200. And i totally freaked out, and lost it. like slow motion watched myself destroy all my hardwork from afar.. and what sucks is I probably did get under 200 and into onderland, but i had just ran a marathon and was sore and retaining water and just didn't weigh myself at the right time...bleh.... so yeah. i totally was so close i could taste it and just made small bad decision after small bad decision after small bad decision, etcccccc and here i am now starting completely over AGAIN just 5 months later. so yeah! please learn from my bs and just stick with it, you got goals to make dude! you got this! just get back to basics one day at a time. just do what works and makes you feel good and you will get to your goal before you know it ! yeahhh!