Don't be one of those people...
IHaveMyActTogether
Posts: 945 Member
Back in the days before I could fit into the red skirt in my avi, a friend of mine lost a significant amount of weight really fast. She looked FANTASTIC. She started wearing bodycon dresses and getting her hair and nails done.
I asked her how she did it, her answer: it was hard.
OK.
So we're talking and she starts in on fat women. She said she hated to see them at the nail or hair salon getting their hair or nails done.
I had my hair and nails done at the time. Her opinion was that fat women didn't "deserve" it - they needed to be spending that time exercising. She had no idea then that I exercised a lot harder and longer than she was doing. Our friendship ended that day, because I love myself enough to not tolerate disrespect.
Fast forward. She's gained a lot of her weight back and I'm now in the blue skirt in the avi.
When you get to your goal, please don't look down on people who haven't been able to achieve it yet.
I know a lot of people who decide to eat salad suddenly can't stomach seeing a fat person eat pizza. But you were once that person eating pizza.
I'm sure you have your own story about this. Share if you dare.
I asked her how she did it, her answer: it was hard.
OK.
So we're talking and she starts in on fat women. She said she hated to see them at the nail or hair salon getting their hair or nails done.
I had my hair and nails done at the time. Her opinion was that fat women didn't "deserve" it - they needed to be spending that time exercising. She had no idea then that I exercised a lot harder and longer than she was doing. Our friendship ended that day, because I love myself enough to not tolerate disrespect.
Fast forward. She's gained a lot of her weight back and I'm now in the blue skirt in the avi.
When you get to your goal, please don't look down on people who haven't been able to achieve it yet.
I know a lot of people who decide to eat salad suddenly can't stomach seeing a fat person eat pizza. But you were once that person eating pizza.
I'm sure you have your own story about this. Share if you dare.
5
Replies
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"Fat women don't deserve to get their nails done?!!!" What kind of stupidsh1t is that? Good for you for ending that friendship and I'm glad she gained her weight back.4
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IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »Back in the days before I could fit into the red skirt in my avi, a friend of mine lost a significant amount of weight really fast. She looked FANTASTIC. She started wearing bodycon dresses and getting her hair and nails done.
I asked her how she did it, her answer: it was hard.
OK.
So we're talking and she starts in on fat women. She said she hated to see them at the nail salon getting their nails done.
I had my nails done at the time. Her opinion was that fat women didn't "deserve" it - they needed to be spending that time exercising. She had no idea then that I exercised a lot harder and longer than she was doing. Our friendship ended that day, because I love myself enough to not tolerate disrespect.
Fast forward. She's gained a lot of her weight back and I'm now in the blue skirt in the avi.
When you get to your goal, please don't look down on people who haven't been able to achieve it yet.
I know a lot of people who decide to eat salad suddenly can't stomach seeing a fat person eat pizza. But you were once that person eating pizza.
I'm sure you have your own story about this. Share if you dare.
I agree with this 100%. I see people lose weight and or get fit and forget what life was like beforehand. You see it even on here, some skinny dude progresses and gets some muscle and then acts as if he is now to be worshipped. The *kitten* syndrome is real. As a personal trainer I see it regularly and it makes me sick. It's great to make improvements on your appearance and with your health, but that doesn't mean you need to lose less of your mental capacity to be decent.8 -
How sad. Why would she care what other people are doing? That is a very bad attitude for her to have.
Regarding body con dresses, I have always worn them because they work on my short frame. I cant wear voluminous clothes because they make me look huge.0 -
Awful perspective she had... Anyone who has put in the time should have learned what it takes (effort and time) to make it happen. Even more so, how diligent you need to be to keep the gains made.
Keep trap shut and offer support when asked. Otherwise - say nothing. Karma is a *kitten*.0 -
How sad. Why would she care what other people are doing? That is a very bad attitude for her to have.
Regarding body con dresses, I have always worn them because they work on my short frame. I cant wear voluminous clothes because they make me look huge.
I like bodycon dresses too. That wasn't the issue. It was that she changed her appearance, then judged others for making those same choices because, in her mind, she "deserved," the changes, and she resented those who put an effort into their appearance without first losing weight.
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I can only hope that her weight regain serves as a reality check and she is humbled by it and becomes more aware.
I also hope that she doesn't treat herself poorly with her weight re gain and instead becomes a kinder person.0 -
She's an idiot.2
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IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »Back in the days before I could fit into the red skirt in my avi, a friend of mine lost a significant amount of weight really fast. She looked FANTASTIC. She started wearing bodycon dresses and getting her hair and nails done.
I asked her how she did it, her answer: it was hard.
OK.
So we're talking and she starts in on fat women. She said she hated to see them at the nail salon getting their nails done.
I had my nails done at the time. Her opinion was that fat women didn't "deserve" it - they needed to be spending that time exercising. She had no idea then that I exercised a lot harder and longer than she was doing. Our friendship ended that day, because I love myself enough to not tolerate disrespect.
Fast forward. She's gained a lot of her weight back and I'm now in the blue skirt in the avi.
When you get to your goal, please don't look down on people who haven't been able to achieve it yet.
I know a lot of people who decide to eat salad suddenly can't stomach seeing a fat person eat pizza. But you were once that person eating pizza.
I'm sure you have your own story about this. Share if you dare.
I agree with this 100%. I see people lose weight and or get fit and forget what life was like beforehand. You see it even on here, some skinny dude progresses and gets some muscle and then acts as if he is now to be worshipped. The *kitten* syndrome is real. As a personal trainer I see it regularly and it makes me sick. It's great to make improvements on your appearance and with your health, but that doesn't mean you need to lose less of your mental capacity to be decent.
Bojack, check out this thread. I'd be interested to hear your opinion:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10687484/gullible-naive-society-or-just-down-right-lazy/p43 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »Back in the days before I could fit into the red skirt in my avi, a friend of mine lost a significant amount of weight really fast. She looked FANTASTIC. She started wearing bodycon dresses and getting her hair and nails done.
I asked her how she did it, her answer: it was hard.
OK.
So we're talking and she starts in on fat women. She said she hated to see them at the nail salon getting their nails done.
I had my nails done at the time. Her opinion was that fat women didn't "deserve" it - they needed to be spending that time exercising. She had no idea then that I exercised a lot harder and longer than she was doing. Our friendship ended that day, because I love myself enough to not tolerate disrespect.
Fast forward. She's gained a lot of her weight back and I'm now in the blue skirt in the avi.
When you get to your goal, please don't look down on people who haven't been able to achieve it yet.
I know a lot of people who decide to eat salad suddenly can't stomach seeing a fat person eat pizza. But you were once that person eating pizza.
I'm sure you have your own story about this. Share if you dare.
I agree with this 100%. I see people lose weight and or get fit and forget what life was like beforehand. You see it even on here, some skinny dude progresses and gets some muscle and then acts as if he is now to be worshipped. The *kitten* syndrome is real. As a personal trainer I see it regularly and it makes me sick. It's great to make improvements on your appearance and with your health, but that doesn't mean you need to lose less of your mental capacity to be decent.
Also, can you give us some tips to remain humble in success?3 -
This makes me want to hug my friends, who never cared what size I was, and wanted to go out and hang out with me because of who I am.
Good for you in ending that friendship.... Sorry you had to go through that. I have seen that before, and it's sad.
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IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »Back in the days before I could fit into the red skirt in my avi, a friend of mine lost a significant amount of weight really fast. She looked FANTASTIC. She started wearing bodycon dresses and getting her hair and nails done.
I asked her how she did it, her answer: it was hard.
OK.
So we're talking and she starts in on fat women. She said she hated to see them at the nail salon getting their nails done.
I had my nails done at the time. Her opinion was that fat women didn't "deserve" it - they needed to be spending that time exercising. She had no idea then that I exercised a lot harder and longer than she was doing. Our friendship ended that day, because I love myself enough to not tolerate disrespect.
Fast forward. She's gained a lot of her weight back and I'm now in the blue skirt in the avi.
When you get to your goal, please don't look down on people who haven't been able to achieve it yet.
I know a lot of people who decide to eat salad suddenly can't stomach seeing a fat person eat pizza. But you were once that person eating pizza.
I'm sure you have your own story about this. Share if you dare.
I agree with this 100%. I see people lose weight and or get fit and forget what life was like beforehand. You see it even on here, some skinny dude progresses and gets some muscle and then acts as if he is now to be worshipped. The *kitten* syndrome is real. As a personal trainer I see it regularly and it makes me sick. It's great to make improvements on your appearance and with your health, but that doesn't mean you need to lose less of your mental capacity to be decent.
Bojack, check out this thread. I'd be interested to hear your opinion:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10687484/gullible-naive-society-or-just-down-right-lazy/p4
The debate forum is a dangerous place.3 -
It's also hard, being overweight/obese! I remember when at my highest weight {1 pound, via obesity}, it was a weightlifting struggle to lift my arms over my head to put my hair into a perfect ponytail! So I am within awe when I see especially morbidly obese women, with perfect ponytails! Which means that obviously they care, about themselves &'re taking care of themselves, regardless of their weight! So it's a misconception, that they're lazy!0
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Wow glad you ended that friendship
That’s a negative Nancy if I ever seen one....
I bet her name is Nancy too0 -
Awe, that's so sad. I've been on both sides of the spectrum. I grew up small - size 2 . I then had a kid and gained a lot of weight and at one point was a size 16 or 18 I think it was. On my short frame I looked and felt terrible. The way people treat for vs heavier people is sad. They look at you different. I would think that a person who has been bigger would be encouraging and uplifting. That's just me though0
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IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »Back in the days before I could fit into the red skirt in my avi, a friend of mine lost a significant amount of weight really fast. She looked FANTASTIC. She started wearing bodycon dresses and getting her hair and nails done.
I asked her how she did it, her answer: it was hard.
OK.
So we're talking and she starts in on fat women. She said she hated to see them at the nail salon getting their nails done.
I had my nails done at the time. Her opinion was that fat women didn't "deserve" it - they needed to be spending that time exercising. She had no idea then that I exercised a lot harder and longer than she was doing. Our friendship ended that day, because I love myself enough to not tolerate disrespect.
Fast forward. She's gained a lot of her weight back and I'm now in the blue skirt in the avi.
When you get to your goal, please don't look down on people who haven't been able to achieve it yet.
I know a lot of people who decide to eat salad suddenly can't stomach seeing a fat person eat pizza. But you were once that person eating pizza.
I'm sure you have your own story about this. Share if you dare.
I agree with this 100%. I see people lose weight and or get fit and forget what life was like beforehand. You see it even on here, some skinny dude progresses and gets some muscle and then acts as if he is now to be worshipped. The *kitten* syndrome is real. As a personal trainer I see it regularly and it makes me sick. It's great to make improvements on your appearance and with your health, but that doesn't mean you need to lose less of your mental capacity to be decent.
Bojack, check out this thread. I'd be interested to hear your opinion:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10687484/gullible-naive-society-or-just-down-right-lazy/p4
The debate forum is a dangerous place.
I lurk a little but I never engage in there....0 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »Back in the days before I could fit into the red skirt in my avi, a friend of mine lost a significant amount of weight really fast. She looked FANTASTIC. She started wearing bodycon dresses and getting her hair and nails done.
I asked her how she did it, her answer: it was hard.
OK.
So we're talking and she starts in on fat women. She said she hated to see them at the nail salon getting their nails done.
I had my nails done at the time. Her opinion was that fat women didn't "deserve" it - they needed to be spending that time exercising. She had no idea then that I exercised a lot harder and longer than she was doing. Our friendship ended that day, because I love myself enough to not tolerate disrespect.
Fast forward. She's gained a lot of her weight back and I'm now in the blue skirt in the avi.
When you get to your goal, please don't look down on people who haven't been able to achieve it yet.
I know a lot of people who decide to eat salad suddenly can't stomach seeing a fat person eat pizza. But you were once that person eating pizza.
I'm sure you have your own story about this. Share if you dare.
I agree with this 100%. I see people lose weight and or get fit and forget what life was like beforehand. You see it even on here, some skinny dude progresses and gets some muscle and then acts as if he is now to be worshipped. The *kitten* syndrome is real. As a personal trainer I see it regularly and it makes me sick. It's great to make improvements on your appearance and with your health, but that doesn't mean you need to lose less of your mental capacity to be decent.
Bojack, check out this thread. I'd be interested to hear your opinion:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10687484/gullible-naive-society-or-just-down-right-lazy/p4
The debate forum is a dangerous place.
You make a point.0 -
She did not deserve to have you as a friend. I mean that is REALLY hypocritical.0
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SouthernMamaUnderConsruction wrote: »Awe, that's so sad. I've been on both sides of the spectrum. I grew up small - size 2 . I then had a kid and gained a lot of weight and at one point was a size 16 or 18 I think it was. On my short frame I looked and felt terrible. The way people treat for vs heavier people is sad. They look at you different. I would think that a person who has been bigger would be encouraging and uplifting. That's just me though
I 100% agree with this.0 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »Back in the days before I could fit into the red skirt in my avi, a friend of mine lost a significant amount of weight really fast. She looked FANTASTIC. She started wearing bodycon dresses and getting her hair and nails done.
I asked her how she did it, her answer: it was hard.
OK.
So we're talking and she starts in on fat women. She said she hated to see them at the nail salon getting their nails done.
I had my nails done at the time. Her opinion was that fat women didn't "deserve" it - they needed to be spending that time exercising. She had no idea then that I exercised a lot harder and longer than she was doing. Our friendship ended that day, because I love myself enough to not tolerate disrespect.
Fast forward. She's gained a lot of her weight back and I'm now in the blue skirt in the avi.
When you get to your goal, please don't look down on people who haven't been able to achieve it yet.
I know a lot of people who decide to eat salad suddenly can't stomach seeing a fat person eat pizza. But you were once that person eating pizza.
I'm sure you have your own story about this. Share if you dare.
I agree with this 100%. I see people lose weight and or get fit and forget what life was like beforehand. You see it even on here, some skinny dude progresses and gets some muscle and then acts as if he is now to be worshipped. The *kitten* syndrome is real. As a personal trainer I see it regularly and it makes me sick. It's great to make improvements on your appearance and with your health, but that doesn't mean you need to lose less of your mental capacity to be decent.
Bojack, check out this thread. I'd be interested to hear your opinion:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10687484/gullible-naive-society-or-just-down-right-lazy/p4
I definitely have an opinion on this....but it may take me 3 days to type it just to have nobody read it because it's too long!2 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »Back in the days before I could fit into the red skirt in my avi, a friend of mine lost a significant amount of weight really fast. She looked FANTASTIC. She started wearing bodycon dresses and getting her hair and nails done.
I asked her how she did it, her answer: it was hard.
OK.
So we're talking and she starts in on fat women. She said she hated to see them at the nail salon getting their nails done.
I had my nails done at the time. Her opinion was that fat women didn't "deserve" it - they needed to be spending that time exercising. She had no idea then that I exercised a lot harder and longer than she was doing. Our friendship ended that day, because I love myself enough to not tolerate disrespect.
Fast forward. She's gained a lot of her weight back and I'm now in the blue skirt in the avi.
When you get to your goal, please don't look down on people who haven't been able to achieve it yet.
I know a lot of people who decide to eat salad suddenly can't stomach seeing a fat person eat pizza. But you were once that person eating pizza.
I'm sure you have your own story about this. Share if you dare.
I agree with this 100%. I see people lose weight and or get fit and forget what life was like beforehand. You see it even on here, some skinny dude progresses and gets some muscle and then acts as if he is now to be worshipped. The *kitten* syndrome is real. As a personal trainer I see it regularly and it makes me sick. It's great to make improvements on your appearance and with your health, but that doesn't mean you need to lose less of your mental capacity to be decent.
Bojack, check out this thread. I'd be interested to hear your opinion:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10687484/gullible-naive-society-or-just-down-right-lazy/p4
I definitely have an opinion on this....but it may take me 3 days to type it just to have nobody read it because it's too long!
Phew! Thanks for sparing us. :laugh:
ETA: I'm just kidding around. Type away.0 -
SandSeaSkySoul wrote: »It's also hard, being overweight/obese! I remember when at my highest weight {1 pound, via obesity}, it was a weightlifting struggle to lift my arms over my head to put my hair into a perfect ponytail! So I am within awe when I see especially morbidly obese women, with perfect ponytails! Which means that obviously they care, about themselves &'re taking care of themselves, regardless of their weight! So it's a misconception, that they're lazy!
I agree with this. This is what I see most commonly. Overweight people are immediately labeled as lazy and that they don't care about their appearance when that's not true at all. It's a shame some are so quick to judge others merely on their appearance. I don't think that will ever change, though.0 -
I'm guessing many of the people who read this are one of those people and chose not to share. Because I see the other posts where this attitude is quite prevalent.2
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Why does anyone even care what anyone else is doing? I don’t care if big girls, small girls, polka dotted girls, chicks with horns growing out of their heads wanna get their nails or hair done. I also don’t care what other people eat or if or when they exercise. That girl sounds like a garbage human. Glad you dumped her.0
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IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »I'm guessing many of the people who read this are one of those people and chose not to share. Because I see the other posts where this attitude is quite prevalent.
Which people? Your former friend or the overweight/obese person(s) she was body policing?
I'm in the fat/obese category (have been my entire life), so I applaud you for being kind to those of us who have not had as much success in getting back into healthy standards or who may be struggling with getting a handle on our weight.
Your ex-friend sounds like a terrible person, honestly.0 -
justinewillcutyou wrote: »Why does anyone even care what anyone else is doing? I don’t care if big girls, small girls, polka dotted girls, chicks with horns growing out of their heads wanna get their nails or hair done. I also don’t care what other people eat or if or when they exercise. That girl sounds like a garbage human. Glad you dumped her.
In her defense, I think she was just being mean to her former self. But it still was so off putting I couldn't even.
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It is sad that she would think she or anyone else does not deserve to look nice or do activities unless they are not overweight.
I went through a period of self hatred and when I was working on healing from it I was kind of shocked at how I had been thinking negatively about other people too without realizing it. It really was about how I felt about myself. It is nicer to notice the positive qualities of people and encourage people to live fully.0 -
My ex-step-mother-in-law was this judgemental, but only of me. Luckily she refuses to talk to me since the divorce. I'm in paradise
https://youtu.be/1G4isv_Fylg 0 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »Back in the days before I could fit into the red skirt in my avi, a friend of mine lost a significant amount of weight really fast. She looked FANTASTIC. She started wearing bodycon dresses and getting her hair and nails done.
I asked her how she did it, her answer: it was hard.
OK.
So we're talking and she starts in on fat women. She said she hated to see them at the nail or hair salon getting their hair or nails done.
I had my hair and nails done at the time. Her opinion was that fat women didn't "deserve" it - they needed to be spending that time exercising. She had no idea then that I exercised a lot harder and longer than she was doing. Our friendship ended that day, because I love myself enough to not tolerate disrespect.
Fast forward. She's gained a lot of her weight back and I'm now in the blue skirt in the avi.
When you get to your goal, please don't look down on people who haven't been able to achieve it yet.
I know a lot of people who decide to eat salad suddenly can't stomach seeing a fat person eat pizza. But you were once that person eating pizza.
I'm sure you have your own story about this. Share if you dare.
Someone mentioned being on both sides of the spectrum. I can relate. I grew up a ridiculously skinny kid that could eat anything and still be 97 pounds throughout high school. Once you have kids and get older, that ish changes. lol keep that in mind :P
Anyway, it can work both ways. I remember standing in line one day at the bank. There was an overweight woman in the line next to me. She kept looking me up and down, glancing at me sideways - so much so, that I thought there was something wrong with me. Did I have something in my hair? Was I looking especially shabby today? What?? Then she turned to her companion and said, "All these Asians, always so skinny! And they don't even have to do a darn thing!". I felt uncomfortable and put off. I thought, "I'm not Asian." She looked me up and down again when she left the building. Now, when I remember that, I think she was insecure in herself and in her body image that she chose to look at me and justify the differences between us. I felt bad about myself then. Now, I feel bad that she chose to feel that way.
Another time, after my babies were born - I lost the skinny aspect of my awesomeness and ballooned up to 161 pounds. That was fat - for me. I didn't want to go to the gym because I felt huge. I didn't want to deal with people looking at me "weird" or feeling sorry for me. My kids father was a bodybuilder. He would ogle other girls that were amazingly fit and so pretty, in front of me. I hated it. I brought it up to him one day when I was feeling particularly perturbed and all he said was, 'If you don't want me to look at other girls, then start working out like them and get in shape.' Yeah, well, I did. We broke up and I went to the gym. Oh, and I still eat pizza.3 -
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