Grieving 42yo Widow

My husband died unexpectedly last year and I’ve just been in a tailspin. I never thought I’d be a widow at 42. I miss him so damn much. I miss him with every ounce of my being. I’m depressed and sad and I eat to bring me comfort and happiness. I have no friends or a job...just my dogs. I don’t know how to get over this or even begin to move on. He was my whole world. I cry every day. Eating is the only thing I enjoy. I pig out every day. I’ve gained 30lbs since he died. I don’t know what to do to get past this.
«1

Replies

  • 100_PROOF_
    100_PROOF_ Posts: 1,168 Member
    I'm so sorry. I wish I had advice for you
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,900 Member
    Please go to your nearest therapist or church to look into grief counseling. Possibly with groups.
    Your husband would never wish you to live your life like you are. You must learn to carry on....go for a walk with the dogs and share everything you experience with him......he is with you <3
  • kami3006
    kami3006 Posts: 4,978 Member
    I, too, am extremely sorry for your loss. I agree with the others that you would do yourself a favor by seeking out grief counseling in some form.

    My thoughts are with you.
  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
    Oh my goodness so sorry for your loss.
    You need to talk to someone to sort through your emotions. There is no shame in going to a therapist they are so comforting. I know when we lost my dad the funeral home offered grief counselling and called after a year asking if we needed any help.

    Hope you are able to get help and as someone said be kind to yourself
  • kcs76
    kcs76 Posts: 244 Member
    I'm so very sorry. I know how you feel. I lost my s/o in April. While we never married, we were together six years and planned on the rest of our lives. He was my best friend and it's so hard to move forward in a world without him. Like many of the previous replies, I suggest getting in touch with a therapist. This is a person that you can be so open with, all the sad and ugly feelings that you might feel like you cannot say. It really helps. Also, please feel free to pm me if you'd like to talk or rant...... Hugs and love to you. I'm so sorry ❤️❤️
  • MrsH78
    MrsH78 Posts: 46 Member
    I can’t imagine how you are feeling - I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with all the above about therapy. But would also encourage some long walks with your dogs. Nothing gets me out of my depressive states like exercise and walking is free.
    Take care of yourself and don’t feel guilty for eating, if it gives you comfort, let it... you will get through this. 💪
  • Hamsibian
    Hamsibian Posts: 1,388 Member
    I am so so sorry for your loss.
  • shaf238
    shaf238 Posts: 4,021 Member
    I am so so sorry to hear about your sudden loss. I can't imagine how devastated you are.
    dsboohead wrote: »
    Please go to your nearest therapist or church to look into grief counseling. Possibly with groups.
    Your husband would never wish you to live your life like you are. You must learn to carry on....go for a walk with the dogs and share everything you experience with him......he is with you <3
    Please take this advice.
  • mochapygmy
    mochapygmy Posts: 2,123 Member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain and sadness you are experiencing. I'm glad you are finding comfort with your dogs and think a slow walk with them might bring a little peace.

    A therapist is a wonderful suggestion and can help tremendously though it may seem like a big step now. If it is too much for now look for a free grief group nearby. You can go and just listen for awhile or share. You might also want to reach out to your Doctor's office and tell them how you are doing. They should have some suggestions for local counselors. I wish you solace and love.
  • keodell1966
    keodell1966 Posts: 141 Member
    Oh my, so sorry for your loss. Like others have said, reach out to someone. A friend, church, community group, someone is bound to be able to help.
  • kimber0607
    kimber0607 Posts: 994 Member
    So sorry..feel free to message me talk (I can understand)....

    Kim
  • wannabesmaller2017
    wannabesmaller2017 Posts: 433 Member
    I am so very sorry for your loss. I could not imagine losing my spouse. My mom passed away 6 years ago and that was so painful. Grief is such a hard thing and I turned to food as well. Trust me, it’s not the answer. Talk to a therapist, pastor, grief counselor, someone you can talk to. My dad joined a group for widowers and he said it was helpful. Just knowing that there are others going through this awful pain, too. Because grief can be isolating, thinking you are the only one going through it as the world moves on. Again, I am so sorry, I will pray for you. ((Hugs))
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,268 Member
    I'm so very sorry for your loss. My sister lost her husband in her 30s and it has been a very rough time for her these last ten years. I still don't think she is totally back to "herself" yet but she is working on it.
    I would suggest therapy as quickly as possible. Possibly a support group of some kind as well.
    I'd also suggest getting a job or something to do each day to take 8 hours of your life and make them yours again. Dwelling on the loss is not healthy. Yes, you need to grieve but you've also got to start living for yourself. Even if being a dog walker or working at a animal shelter is what you need to get through, then do it. There is no need to sit at home, grieve and eat. You are better than that and you can make your life different.
    I wish you luck and will pray for you.
  • dejavuohlala
    dejavuohlala Posts: 1,819 Member
    So sorry for you loss, I know it is no comfort now but it will get easier with time, no you will never forget but after some time your pain eases and lovely memories take over. Iknowfrom when I lost my daughter, she is forever in my thoughts and the very best of me rotors have come to the forefront of my mind. For the weight loss it's good to keep the food log and invite some friends on mfp to support you and visa versa. Good luck and do take care.