In need of support

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So, I feel like I have always been on a journey to lose weight, and I got up to 260 while pregnant with me 2nd child. I had to do physical therapy for severe back pain while I was pregnant with her, which had to be stopped because it was only making things worse. She is now 4 months old and I have started going to the doctors and trying to figure out what is going on, causing all of this pain as I really really am wanting to get this weight off and be healthy.

I have lost 11 pounds in the last month (YAY!), but recently, with MRI's it has been discovered that I have bulging and torn discs and "spinal cord abnormalities". I have to go see a neurologist. I was okay with this. I've gotten the 11 pounds off just by tracking what I eat, so it didn't seem insurmountable at all (I am currently down to 231).

Yesterday morning, the doctor called me asking a lot of questions and decided that they needed to start testing for Multiple sclerosis. Now I know this is not the end of the world. I have an aunt who has lived with it for years, but she is starting to go blind and usually has to use a wheelchair and cath herself, but this was 30 years after her initial diagnosis.

Yesterday afternoon I was walking with my baby in my kitchen and fell to the ground. Thankfully she was not hurt and neither was I, but I just couldn't walk anymore. It was sooo scary. It just came out of nowhere. I was in minimal pain and having a great day and then BAM, I couldn't walk.

I wasn't in a lot of pain this morning, but I spent most of the morning in bed since hubby was home and could take care of the kids. I am just afraid to move. And I am afraid this is going to make my depression worse and I am going to stop losing and gain back what I have lost. I am in need of support to keep going. My family wants to support me by telling me that its okay to just lay around. As tempting as that is, I know it's not what I need. I know I can't do vigorous exercise right now, but I don't want to give up, and I am so close to throwing in the towel. I need to surround myself with a positive support system that I can turn to, who won't just give in to me feeling sorry for myself. My kids deserve better than that, and I know I do too, but I can't do it on my own.

Thank you in advance!

Replies

  • lgwmab
    lgwmab Posts: 274 Member
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    I am so sorry sweetie, I can only imagine how you feel, and what you are going thru! I understand the depression, I have been there more times then not. You have lots of support here. I will send you a friend request.
  • kim824
    kim824 Posts: 68 Member
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    I'm sorry you are having these problems. I googled MS support and found this website- http://www.nationalmssociety.org/index.aspx. It seems to have a lot of information. Hope this helps. Take good care of yourself.
  • hotpigg
    hotpigg Posts: 14 Member
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    Oh honey! My heart goes out to u. U r going thru so much. With little ones around... I am sending u lots of good vibes and happy thought. 11 pounds is amazing to lose just by tracking. It will come off if u keep up the good eating. Depression is an ugly beast that I know. Stay strong. U got a lot on ur plate. Just eating better is a huge thing. Add meof u like. We all need supper :) good wishes to u liz
  • patsyacs
    patsyacs Posts: 1,322 Member
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    You're halfway there with your determination. It is the biggest part of making it back to doing things again. As they say, been there done that. I had a head injury at age 7 which I wasn't supposed to survive according to the doctors. A lot of hard work and determination got me on my feet and as close to normal as possible. Lots of setbacks but hard work and not letting others get you down will go a long way.
    Everyone here is supportive so just keep stopping by for a boost. Don't worry about all the things that may happen in the future. It can be soon or a long way off and we're hoping for that. Enjoy the kids as much as you can because they are a great source of positive feelings.
    Patsy
  • sarah61587
    sarah61587 Posts: 56 Member
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    Thank you ladies, reading these helped me a lot! It is nice to know that I can come here when I am having a bad day.