Being FAT and STUFF
rwbyrze12
Posts: 1 Member
It’s insane this weight journey. I hate dieting and I hate the feeling that if I don’t loose weight I’m not only disappointing myself but anyone watching and or tracking my journey. And you can’t hide it. As soon as people see you eating salads and drinking water it’s a given your trying to loose weight or be healthier and there it all starts. The cheers when you look different to them. The taunts when you have a candy bar. Constantly being watched and judged. I don’t want to be fat, or skinny, I just want to feel good about myself and be healthy. Yet that’s the myth behind it. Because if we are really honest with ourselves, we want to look good, and whatever the definition of good is to you is our end result. Well, I had Gastric Bypass 1 year ago, and now I’ve gained 15 pounds. Of course I’m over exaggerating the weight gain which is leading to depression and worse eating habits. Well, for me, today is another beginning for me, and I’m more serious than ever because I know how good I felt 15 pounds ago and I know the more I loose the better I’ll feel. So if your with me - shout out - May we SLAY TODAY!!
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Replies
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Rule #1 - don’t discuss your weight loss process with others. It’s your personal (for want of a better word) journey.
Rule #2 - don’t just eat salads then. Eat what you normally would (within the constraints you may have due to your surgery) just less of it.
This should give you a much more positive outlook and hopefully allow to realize you can lose weight relatively painlessly and even enjoy the journey!22 -
I'm right there with you; all the good reasons for losing the extra fat, but struggling to do what it takes. What I'm focusing on right now is 1) drinking water before I eat. I think I'm one of those people who mistakes thirst for hunger. If I don't pay attention, I'll go the entire day without any water except what was in my coffee. 2) Take a moment in the kitchen to measure or weigh what you're eating and arrange it on a plate or in a bowl. I've found myself randomly eating bites of various things without even really thinking about it, and that stuff adds up. In my case, it's added up to at least 50 extra pounds.6
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MAY WE SLAY TODAY! I agree with you completely. But all is. It lost, hit it hard and take back control!3
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I'm sorry you are feeling so badly about your process. For me, i think weight loss has been much more about untangling the strings of interconnectedness that lead to using food to feel different than we currently feel.
If i could make one suggestion to you it would be to really start to focus on making yourself happy and to ignore outside stimuli. If you have better stuff going on and stuff to look forward to, it takes pressure off of food to regulate how you feel. And when you start to separate external opinions about you from your own experience OF YOU, you will be better able to hold on to a stronger sense of self that is able to easily withstand outside negativity and to stop obsessing about perceived but not explicit negativity.
Hope you have a great day and find your way forward
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I agree dont discuss what you do or why with anyone. Salads???? Not if you dont want to! Eat half of what everyone eats and if anyone asks....your full...not hungry...dont feel like it!
Simple. Your challenge is is to keep others out of your biz even if you lie...it's okay!
You dont need anyone watching you and log but do it well!2 -
I’ve never had a soul question why I was eating salad or drinking water. Both are perfectly normal activities.10
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I feel you. And agree with a lot that has been said. It is not anyone’s business what you are doing to be healthy....or totally unhealthy. If someone has a problem with your salad or candy bar—they have a problem with their self.
And—next—to rise above the chatter in our head and from external chatter is like the greatest gift you can give yourself. It’s not an overnight shift. It is daily communication with yourself to decide you are pushing away the negativity. It’s not easy. But it grows easier and easier everyday.
And then judgment of yourself. We are our hardest critics. I used to beat myself up regularly. And once I started giving myself grace and building myself up instead of tearing myself down—shifts began to happen.
Finally, I gave up dieting. I sucked at it. And it never ever worked. Well. I’d lose a few pounds. Then gain it all back as soon as I had a cocktail or dessert.
I am still on my journey. Things aren’t easy or perfect. But I can see that I’m moving in a much more positive space.
I saw a quote that said: there is a 100% chance that we are going to die. Why spend 95% of that time caring what other people think of you?
Me. February 12, 2018. When I cared a lot about what people thought. AND August 12, 2018. I care. But not as much. And it isn’t what drives my daily choices anymore. You’ve got this!!!! Keep leaning on this community for support. We are all here for you. And all we care about is your health and happiness!!!!!
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Some people are just nosy, honestly. I’m slim but I still get certain colleagues criticising or obsessively noticing my food choices (how are you slim but you’re eating chocolate everyday..). Some people just have something to say about everything, and really it says a lot more about them than it does about you, so try to disregard them and just focus on yourself. I will add though that if you feel that you’re struggling your brain may be overestimating how much people are genuinely intrigued by you, but as I said before, some people are just nosy as heck, so ignore them and do what you gotta do for yourself.6
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I've never had anyone question anything I ate.
what kind of people are you friends with? Find new ones.8 -
Old school family like aunts, grandmas, notorious for judging what you eat. My grandma wouldn’t understand why I didn’t have a side of bread with everything.
It happens.😯2 -
Being judged by others, my experience:
At 350lbs:
1. Eat a salad & water for lunch. People's reaction: like that's gonna help, you need yo exercise.
2. Eating anything that isn't considered "health food". People's reaction: that's why your fat.
At 165lbs:
1. Eating a salad & water. People's reaction: You're already thin, which means you're probably anorexic or have some other eating disorder
2. Eating anything that isn't considered "health food". People's reaction: probably gonna throw it up later. No one can be in shape and eat 'X'
The judgements by other people never stop, they don't. By strangers and by friends & family. I started at +350lbs, I'm down 185lbs, the number of friends that I still have that were my friends at my heaviest: 2. That's it. Name calling doesn't end either. It's sad, but true. Going to the gym 3x a week and there will be people that call you obsessive, there will also be people that call you lazy, go figure.
Don't let others people's stupidity, jealousy, envy, and downright f'd up opinions dissuade you. Do this for yourself. Mind over matter: the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind, don't matter.23 -
I would suggest strongly to stop worrying about what you think other people think about you. It will rob you of your joy and make you miserable and at worse paranoid. Honestly most people are more concerned about themselves, not others. If someone makes a comment about what you eat, just blow it off and move on. Pretend it didn’t happen. Don’t obsess over, don’t let it hurt you. Practice this response every time even if it does bother you and finally you will really stop caring what you think others think about you. Fake it until you make it.5
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My friends knew I was losing weight (it was pretty obvious), but I didn't talk about it - not in person and most definitely not on social media. It was fun to screw with people when we'd go out to eat with them - polish off a half-pound bacon cheeseburger with fries, finish up the fries my wife left on her plate and have a hot fudge sundae for dessert. Or absolutely smash 3 or 4 plates full of food at an AYCE Chinese buffet. Friends were incredulous like "How can you be losing weight eating like that?!?". What they didn't realize is that I don't eat like that very often - but I'd just smile and say something stupid like "Fast metabolism, I guess". It's fun to make them wonder.
What they didn't see was me eating a reasonably balanced/nutritious diet, weighing my foods and sticking to my calorie goals most days, hitting the weights and running/biking 3-4 times a week, getting an absolute minimum of 5,000 steps per day (more often closer to/over 10,000), etc. But I ain't telling.
I guess we all have different kinds of friends, because I've never had to deal with the name calling, taunting, judging, etc. that a lot of people describe. Maybe it's a guy thing, I don't know - but the few comments I've gotten have all been positive. Most people haven't said much of anything.6 -
I eat salads and drink water and exercise a lot. People probably think to themselves, "Wow, she's really working hard to be thin!" Totally fine with me. I finally got to a place where I can own who I am.0
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Random person ~ "But why are you eating all those vegetables and exercising tho?"
Me ~ "Because I want to live long enough to see my kids graduate from University"
*Crickets*
It's weird. If people think you are improving your lifestyle for health reasons to live longer it's all high fives and smiles. If they think you are insecure and want to look a different way then it's open season. I guess we are hierarchical animals who need to ensure our place in some kind of pecking order.4 -
People have unwanted opinions about everything. I just try to keep to myself and if they make a snide comment, I have been known to say, "You just worry about yourself."
Some nicer Southern people might say, "Bless your heart." or, "Well that's certainly an opinion."
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