I would like to find a mentor who has been where I am. Very overweight male.

WarningTheHermit
WarningTheHermit Posts: 18 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've posted something near this several different places, and so far have had no luck whatsoever.

I am starting to get back in shape, and while googling all kinds of information is great, informative, and motivating. I'd like to have someone who has been in the same predicament as me, or close to it, to confide in, ask questions of, and talk to about my own fitness journey. I will continue looking up information as well on top of it about nutrition etc. But I would like to have someone there to talk to.

About me -

I'm a 27 year old guy, and I am severely overweight. I wasn't always heavy, I was a pretty healthy size my entire life up until about 23 years old, where I steadily / slowly started gaining weight, and it didn't really stop until I got to where I am now. My weight has been plateaued for about a year now with no real change in either direction. Nothing really changed between the time I was healthy and when I gained all the weight except that I stopped playing sports, and got older. I am coming from a beginner exercise / workout background, I haven't done much of either really.

My goal is to get into BETTER shape than I was when I considered myself healthy. It would be nice to find someone who was available to help me out who has been in a similar situation, or even who started out severely overweight, and then became "athletic" build. I don't want to be huge, but I don't want to be scrawny either.

Thing's I would be looking for in a mentor / fitness buddy ( doesn't have to be all of these just general stuff) :
  • Preferably a guy who was severely overweight when he started getting healthy.
  • Preferably someone who isn't going to be a dick to me if I ask stupid questions, or if I slip up.
  • Preferably someone who has a general understanding of working out,as I would like to workout regularly now.
  • Preferably someone who has the spare time to reply a couple times a week whenever I have questions.

I guess I can't really think of anything else to add, if you have any questions, or are interested at all, please don't hesitate to contact me, or ask your questions on this thread and I'll answer them as quickly as I can.

Replies

  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    Maybe your request is too specific and too vague at the same time? Or like a service you'd have to pay for? Maybe you're overcomplicating a bit. To lose weight, you have to eat less. To be more fit, you have to move more. If you're severely overweight, almost anything you do, will make an improvement. This forum is all about exchanging information and experiences, and there's a community of several veterans, each with their own fields of exertise. I'm sure you will get great healp if you break down your list and ask direct, specific questions in the appropriate sub-forums.
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    WarningTheHermit wrote: »
    I've posted something near this several different places, and so far have had no luck whatsoever.

    I am starting to get back in shape, and while googling all kinds of information is great, informative, and motivating. I'd like to have someone who has been in the same predicament as me, or close to it, to confide in, ask questions of, and talk to about my own fitness journey. I will continue looking up information as well on top of it about nutrition etc. But I would like to have someone there to talk to.

    About me -

    I'm a 27 year old guy, and I am severely overweight. I wasn't always heavy, I was a pretty healthy size my entire life up until about 23 years old, where I steadily / slowly started gaining weight, and it didn't really stop until I got to where I am now. My weight has been plateaued for about a year now with no real change in either direction. Nothing really changed between the time I was healthy and when I gained all the weight except that I stopped playing sports, and got older. I am coming from a beginner exercise / workout background, I haven't done much of either really.

    My goal is to get into BETTER shape than I was when I considered myself healthy. It would be nice to find someone who was available to help me out who has been in a similar situation, or even who started out severely overweight, and then became "athletic" build. I don't want to be huge, but I don't want to be scrawny either.

    Thing's I would be looking for in a mentor / fitness buddy ( doesn't have to be all of these just general stuff) :
    • Preferably a guy who was severely overweight when he started getting healthy.
    • Preferably someone who isn't going to be a dick to me if I ask stupid questions, or if I slip up.
    • Preferably someone who has a general understanding of working out,as I would like to workout regularly now.
    • Preferably someone who has the spare time to reply a couple times a week whenever I have questions.

    I guess I can't really think of anything else to add, if you have any questions, or are interested at all, please don't hesitate to contact me, or ask your questions on this thread and I'll answer them as quickly as I can.

    Bro, what you want is a coach. There are many online. I work with one. A mentor is a completely different thing.
  • WarningTheHermit
    WarningTheHermit Posts: 18 Member
    edited August 2018
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    Maybe your request is too specific and too vague at the same time? Or like a service you'd have to pay for? Maybe you're overcomplicating a bit. To lose weight, you have to eat less. To be more fit, you have to move more. If you're severely overweight, almost anything you do, will make an improvement. This forum is all about exchanging information and experiences, and there's a community of several veterans, each with their own fields of exertise. I'm sure you will get great healp if you break down your list and ask direct, specific questions in the appropriate sub-forums.

    There's no real way for me to reply without sounding argumentative, I've typed out and deleted a response several times.

    TLDR - I'm looking for a fitness friend who has gone through, or is in the middle of going through the same changes. Yes, I can post questions on the forums and google *kitten*, which I am already doing. But I'd like to find someone who I can talk to regularly during my journey.
  • cowleyl
    cowleyl Posts: 169 Member
    I could meet some of your aims, but I'm not male or in your age group. :-) However, I've lost more than 60 lbs and have about 40 to go. I'm wearing the brunt of my years of morbid obesity now. I've had both hips replaced, had my gallbladder removed and am about to have both knees done together (next week, in fact). Joints have impacted on my ability to move but I've found my groove and exercise nearly every day. The prob is that MFP has so many members and it's luck of the draw as to whether someone who is like you actually sees your request. What I've done to find like-minded friends on MFP is to read through the forum topics and connect with people who I think will meet my needs. My MFP friends are a pretty motivated group. Some I talk to offline and others I don't. Most log every day. We all know it's calories in, calories out but I think, like you, I need like-minded friends to keep me motivated.
  • estherdragonbat
    estherdragonbat Posts: 5,283 Member
    Well, if you'd like to chat with a 46-year-old woman who went from Obesity Level III and huffing to get up two flights of stairs at a trot to closing in on normal BMI and about to run my first 5K in ten days, feel free to friend me.
  • hoppgeorge
    hoppgeorge Posts: 368 Member
    You are welcome to add me if you like. If I can help you along this journey, great. I am NOT a coach or a trainer. I am working through this process the same as you. I will encourage all that I can. You can ask me anything and I won’t be a dick. I tend to be sarcastic but that is just my personality. This has been and will continue to be a long road for me so I would welcome the company. Have a great day and good luck!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    WarningTheHermit wrote: »
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    Maybe your request is too specific and too vague at the same time? Or like a service you'd have to pay for? Maybe you're overcomplicating a bit. To lose weight, you have to eat less. To be more fit, you have to move more. If you're severely overweight, almost anything you do, will make an improvement. This forum is all about exchanging information and experiences, and there's a community of several veterans, each with their own fields of exertise. I'm sure you will get great healp if you break down your list and ask direct, specific questions in the appropriate sub-forums.

    There's no real way for me to reply without sounding argumentative, I've typed out and deleted a response several times.

    TLDR - I'm looking for a fitness friend who has gone through, or is in the middle of going through the same changes. Yes, I can post questions on the forums and google *kitten*, which I am already doing. But I'd like to find someone who I can talk to regularly during my journey.

    there are thousands of people on here who have been in similar situations, add some pals!

    a coach is a different thing, but if you're willing to pay, then you can find them online or IRL as well.
  • hoppgeorge
    hoppgeorge Posts: 368 Member
    cmriverside wrote: »
    I would say that instead of trying to find a match to your list of criteria, look at the similarities in all the stories you will read on this site.

    I lost nearly 80 pounds. I put my stats into the Goal wizard on this site and used the numbers it spit out for me. I logged my food every goshdarn day for the whole time I was losing. The good, the not so good and the eat-everything-in-sight days. It all got logged. I studied that FOOD diary and learned about nutrition and I learned how to cook meals I love and that hit my nutrition goals.

    I started walking. Daily for 30 minutes, then longer, then added other stuff I enjoy as I got more fit and able.

    As I lost weight I tweaked my calories and food to reflect the weight lost and the rate at which I was losing AND to support my health and energy levels.

    Just start.

    Read everything. Stay the course. Sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back. That's okay, just keep going.

    Yup. That.

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