Why are people soooo mean?!?

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letterfly
letterfly Posts: 20 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I was on the phone with my girl friend last night. She is married to an awful man. He is so mean to her emotionally and verbally. I keep telling her she doesn't need that and to leave him, but she has her "reasons" for staying. That said, when we were on the phone he started yelling in the background "tell that fat lazy b**** to get off her a** and". I didn't hear much else, but I can only imagine what else was said. I don't like him, never have. I don't care about anything he has to say and i know deep down that people like that just say things to hurt others because they are hurting themselves. That being said, it hurt. I have never had anyone say anything like that to me before. Why did I let it get to me? How do I let it go? It really crushed my self esteem and i don't know how to get it back.
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  • letterfly
    letterfly Posts: 20 Member
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    I was on the phone with my girl friend last night. She is married to an awful man. He is so mean to her emotionally and verbally. I keep telling her she doesn't need that and to leave him, but she has her "reasons" for staying. That said, when we were on the phone he started yelling in the background "tell that fat lazy b**** to get off her a** and". I didn't hear much else, but I can only imagine what else was said. I don't like him, never have. I don't care about anything he has to say and i know deep down that people like that just say things to hurt others because they are hurting themselves. That being said, it hurt. I have never had anyone say anything like that to me before. Why did I let it get to me? How do I let it go? It really crushed my self esteem and i don't know how to get it back.
  • WISHFULTHINKING
    WISHFULTHINKING Posts: 167 Member
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    people like that make others feel bad because it makes them feel more important. they get off by saying hurtful things to people because it makes there hurt go away. its kinda pathetic but i know how if feels ive been called stuff like that all my life
  • craigc155
    craigc155 Posts: 22
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    You have to remember who it came from - and what is said about you does not define you. You are a unique individual, created perfectly and specifically. I know words hurt - but you are stronger than those words. Stand up - and embrace who you are - a special, unique person! Have a great day.
  • Hannah_Banana
    Hannah_Banana Posts: 1,242 Member
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    :noway: You think she would mind if you hit him over the head with a brick? :indifferent:

    It is sad to me when women don't realize there are good men out there. :frown: There is no reason to stay with a *kitten* like that. :angry:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Don't let some abusing a/hole affect your self-esteem. You could look like a super model and he'd still have something nasty to say. :flowerforyou:
  • Periphria
    Periphria Posts: 358
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    Don't listen to that person. You are a beautiful person and don't let that a--hole bring you down. People like that should motivate you to show them how commited you are to this life and to being a nice person.:flowerforyou:

    Don't let the bas---ds get to you!!!!:smile:

    You can show him!!!

    Good luck
  • jenifergotti
    jenifergotti Posts: 325 Member
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    Ewwww :angry: What a jerk! Why do we let people get to us, especially guys like that. We are the makers of our destiny - self esteem is part of that destiny! You are beautiful and on the path to becoming the best you possible-don't let some "guy" change that.(Especially if you never really liked him in the first place) Keep your chin up and keep on keepin on!
  • MattySparky
    MattySparky Posts: 771
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    I feel for ya, that guy has problems... I can almost bet it begins with his own insecurity. Sometimes when friends cant separate themselves from people like that, unfortunately we have to separate ourselves from those friends for a short period of time or even indeffinately.
  • greysweatshirt
    greysweatshirt Posts: 411
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    I think we've all been called something that we didn't like at some point in our lives. Just remember that you know what a good person that you are and no matter what anyone else says, they can't take away who you are. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt when they do say things, but just know that you a great person!!!
  • ChubbyBunny
    ChubbyBunny Posts: 3,523 Member
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    I feel for ya, that guy has problems... I can almost bet it begins with his own insecurity. Sometimes when friends cant separate themselves from people like that, unfortunately we have to separate ourselves from those friends for a short period of time or even indeffinately.

    So agree, I have a friend who defends her spouses cheating... and it kills me. I can't just leave her to suffer but it sucks me into the drama as well.

    I am sorry he hurt you.
    :flowerforyou:
  • jaglover04
    jaglover04 Posts: 82 Member
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    Focus on that 10 lbs y ou've already lost OBVIOUSLY not by being lazy!! You work hard for yourself and screw him its sad that he needs negativity in his life to make him feel better about himself!! You however are better than that and are starting a challange that will show him as if you really even cared b/c he isn't worth showing how great you are!! Just be there for your friend and pray she sees the right reasons to leave!! Good luck on your 10 down and the many more your ACTIVE HEALTHY *kitten* is gonna get you down!! :drinker:
  • letterfly
    letterfly Posts: 20 Member
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    Thanks everyone. All your comments ment alot to me. I'm picking myself up and moving on.:smile:
  • SHOPPINGDIVA
    SHOPPINGDIVA Posts: 139
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    Thats just mean and nasty.....i BET you he is no picnic......You have to let it go...you are doing the best you can to improve yourself and you DONT have to please him, just yourself .....He is just nasty no telling how he treats youre friend, ........i guess you could have an idea by the way he speaks to you......Tell youreself youre better than that and FORGET ugly people like that.
  • YankeesGirl
    YankeesGirl Posts: 1,359
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    Just think about this - he'll always be a jerk .... he'll always have low self esteem ... he'll always be a loser. You are already a winner because you are trying. You will continue to improve and one day ... when you run into him on the street ... you can whip his butt!! LOL

    We can initiate the HTB club ... (hide the body) ... and one of us will help you!! LOL
  • tbanking
    tbanking Posts: 28 Member
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    I so feel your pain! My best friends boy friend, told me that he hate me so much that he wanted me dead! To top it off he told me this at my wedding reception, which he showed up drunk and overdosed on pain pills! The thing I can't understand is that I never did anything to him, and he only explanation was that he was jealous of me and hers relationship. The thing is that she stayed with him, when I am sure he treats her the same!
  • Jackie_W
    Jackie_W Posts: 1,676 Member
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    I've had this kind of abuse in the past, it's nasty and vindictive, and downright painful !!!
    All you can do is remember, it's his problem, not yours, if he wants to be childish and call people names, thats up to him, not worth making yourself ill over.

    Not every one is like this, there are always a few bad apples hun, don't dispair, just chalk it up to experience and move on.
  • csantos1182
    csantos1182 Posts: 117
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    what a douche. screw him!
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
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    You have to remember who it came from - and what is said about you does not define you. You are a unique individual, created perfectly and specifically. I know words hurt - but you are stronger than those words. Stand up - and embrace who you are - a special, unique person! Have a great day.
    :drinker: :flowerforyou: :wink:
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
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    Just think about this - he'll always be a jerk .... he'll always have low self esteem ... he'll always be a loser. You are already a winner because you are trying. You will continue to improve and one day ... when you run into him on the street ... you can whip his butt!! LOL

    We can initiate the HTB club ... (hide the body) ... and one of us will help you!! LOL
    I'm already a member:tongue:
  • heather0mc
    heather0mc Posts: 4,656 Member
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    ugh! what a LLLOOOOOOOOSER!

    YOU lady, are phenominal! to have to sit by while your friend is with such a *kitten* ~ you should win an award! Plus, you lost 10 pounds - what has he done besides get uglier?

    sometimes i wonder what the 'last straw' will be when we are with such awful people. sometimes i wonder why these people think it acceptable to treat another so badly. sometimes i wonder how they would feel if someone treated their mother, sister, daughter like that. sometimes i wish for that all telling mirror that makes someone look inside themselves to see what a rotten scum bag they are being and how terribly nasty they are. :noway:

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