Why am I afraid of starving?

amandaeve
amandaeve Posts: 723 Member
in Motivation and Support
I can't go anywhere without an energy bar in my purse. I keep emergency food in the car, and pack a bag of "car snacks" for every road trip. I go to work every day with a giant lunch and my kitchen is always overstocked. If I see "free" food anywhere, I lose control. Even on an organized bike ride, I have to stuff my jersey pockets with every snack available at a rest stop, even though I know there's no way I'll eat all that before the next one. Today I ate a boxed lunch at 8am because it was a "leftover" at work and I couldn't bear the thought of someone else eating it, or worse- it going to waste (gasp!). If I go to an all-you-can-eat place I'll eat so much I feel sick the rest of the day.

I've never gone hungry nor has my family. I haven't lived through any great depression. I am not overweight or bulimic. There were years when money was tight, but I've always had food. I'm generally not an anxious person, it's really just with food. I can't bear the thought of it going to waste, the thought of going 2 hours without a snack, or the thought of not making "the most of my money" with food. Why?

Replies

  • RelCanonical
    RelCanonical Posts: 3,882 Member
    Sometimes it's a learned habit. Maybe try going somewhere "safe" like clothes shopping nearby without bringing any food, and see how you feel. My mom would sometimes trigger migraine headaches from being too hungry, so she would always have food and it was a big deal to make sure to always bring food. I picked up those habits from her, and it took some time to unlearn them. Maybe there's something like that you're dealing with, either personally or a family member developed the habit in you.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    edited August 2018
    You all have great points. I am "practicing gratitude", and my "IF" bout helped me realize I don't have to follow any specific meal schedule, and I actually enjoy working up an appetite. And my mom is a diabetic and has to have food available 24/7, of course that has made an impression on me, I know I'm not her, but I have to remind myself sometimes, lol.
  • amandaeve
    amandaeve Posts: 723 Member
    Interesting. I do get very bad headaches if I go a long time without eating. I assume it's just my body trying to con me into eating when I don't really need to. That's probably why I've gotten into the habit of eating frequently. I try to keep myself a little bit hungry all the time. The only time I ever feel fullness is when I overeat. That balance is enough to keep my from gaining too much weight, I guess. After thinking that through, the only thing I really need to work on is eating/hoarding food I don't need because it's free or might be wasted.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    I think it's a natural instinct to stuff yourself in case you don't get another meal for a long time. Your "instinct" must be stronger than most people's. I like the second posters suggestions. Let yourself get hungry and confront that fear. It's ok to be hungry sometimes, you will not die.
  • kdahlin406
    kdahlin406 Posts: 2 Member
    Friends used to call me a 'human garbage disposal' (jokingly) because I couldn't pass up free food, or leave food on my plate or throwing food away. You sound similar to me in some ways, plus I just always found comfort going to a grocery store and walking the isles.

    I've found success in drinking A LOT of water throughout the day, timing my meals/snacks appropriately, and using shipped meal kit deliveries (everything is pre-measured, limited waste, and for our house worked as a good solution as it only contained 2 dinners, 3 times per week) and leftovers were manageable.

    Between sitting in traffic, work outs and work days, I've been able to train my body and prep healthier options instead of running to grab a power bar. For example: if at work I can microwave some eggs at 4:00pm, by 5:00pm I am full and can make it through rush hour/to dinner. Hope this helps!
  • whitpauly
    whitpauly Posts: 1,483 Member
    I get terrible bouts of low blood sugar sometimes out of the blue so I've developed the habit of always having some kind of food stash at all times too
  • 2baninja
    2baninja Posts: 518 Member
    whitpauly wrote: »
    I get terrible bouts of low blood sugar sometimes out of the blue so I've developed the habit of always having some kind of food stash at all times too

    I sometimes have this issue, I always have a stash of glucose tablets in my bag, since they work a lot quicker then food, I also always have a Clif bar (or something along that line) in my bag, so if I get hungry, I can eat that instead of going for a candy bar.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,322 Member
    You are not overweight. Maybe there is something to this eating all the time.. but staying a bit hungry? :).

    I think this could just be habit. I realized I do the same thing with drinking beverages. I am always drinking a coffee...a water...hot tea.. or a cocktail. I hate the thought of not having water on my nightstand.. I take drinks with me into the bathtub too. I can't stand the idea of taking half hour bath without something like tea, wine , or ice water to drink. When I work out. I must have a bottle of water with me..even if I'm just walking. Oh yeah. in the car too..

    For me, It is a habit. Is it bad? Nah.. but it is odd.
    Is your food habit bad? You're not fat...so I think it is weird/interesting.. but not bad.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    whitpauly wrote: »
    I get terrible bouts of low blood sugar sometimes out of the blue so I've developed the habit of always having some kind of food stash at all times too
    Have you measured your blood sugar? If not, maybe it's psychological/learned: it could actually be the other way around, propaganda (media and food stores) telling you that you have to eat often to avoid low blood sugar, so you start to feel it too.
    I used to get irritable and unfocused if I hadn't eaten at the planned time. After I had experimented with meal schedules, and read up (like, who knew that we have enough readily available energy in our glycogen stores for 24 hours, and at a healthy weight, enough fat stores for 3 weeks?), I was starting to feel really confident, and not only that, I don't get that feeling of urgency and annoyance and weakness whenever I have to wait for a meal, I can go about doing what I have to do and want to do, until I am and feel ready to eat.
  • 2baninja
    2baninja Posts: 518 Member
    amandaeve wrote: »
    Interesting. I do get very bad headaches if I go a long time without eating. I assume it's just my body trying to con me into eating when I don't really need to. That's probably why I've gotten into the habit of eating frequently. I try to keep myself a little bit hungry all the time. The only time I ever feel fullness is when I overeat. That balance is enough to keep my from gaining too much weight, I guess. After thinking that through, the only thing I really need to work on is eating/hoarding food I don't need because it's free or might be wasted.

    You say, you try to keep you're self hungry all the me, that might be it, it could be that you're not eating enough that that you mind is trying to tell you to eat. I'm not saying you should pig out, but what happens if for a day or 2, you eat before you get hungry? what happens?
  • amandaeve
    amandaeve Posts: 723 Member
    @funjen1972 sadly, the food I'm talking about is commercially prepared, unopened goods from catered events (box lunches, samdwhich platters, etc.). It's hard to see how much food goes to waste when it comes to catered events. My current work place doesn't do the potluck thing, I kind of miss that comraderie.
  • amandaeve
    amandaeve Posts: 723 Member
    I should add that I used to be obese (85 pounds more) so eating frequently and Staying a little hungry are strategies for staying on maintenance. Except for a few pounds here and there, I lost that weight 12 years ago, I would think my body would be adjusted by now. Hasn't "set point theory" been discretided? My point is that it seems these behaviors should help me think I'm not starving. I can be really full, but I'll still look at that free food and worry I might starve.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    Your body is fine as long as you're at a healthy weight and eating a balanced and varied diet. If you've ever been obese, you're used to eating more, thus feeling more full than you are now, at a lower weight. "Staying a little hungry" will thus be your mind reporting a level of satiety where your nutrition is in perfect balance. You're even having these thoughts when you're really full. So it's definitely not your body starving.

    I think you're mixing up two thoughts, or not realizing that you can have two conflicting thoughts at the same time: what you're "supposed" to feel (your rational mind telling you that you're not starving, food going to waste is not your responsibility), vs what your personal as well as evolutionary past is telling you ("there is free food! nobody's watching! eat it!"). The reason why the thoughts about food going to waste and you still have room for more, are so strong, compared to the thoughts about how your fridge is filled with food, and you don't want to buy larger clothes, is that the "old" circuits are desgined to keep you alive, and they can't be turned off completely and replaced with the "new" circuits; and those "new" circuits need conscious effort to be activated. Overriding your "natural" instincts can be exhausting, you need to be rested and nourished to be able to do it consistently.

    And it's kinda the reason why weight management is seen as work, and why many people are overweight.
  • 2baninja
    2baninja Posts: 518 Member
    amandaeve wrote: »
    @funjen1972 sadly, the food I'm talking about is commercially prepared, unopened goods from catered events (box lunches, samdwhich platters, etc.). It's hard to see how much food goes to waste when it comes to catered events. My current work place doesn't do the potluck thing, I kind of miss that comraderie.

    Can you collect the unopened food and instead of eating it, donate it to a homeless shelter? I know there are "rules" about what food can be donated, and I don't really know how "closed/unopened" box lunches are. But if you can donate them, that solves the problem of food going to waste and keeps you from eating it because it's going to someone much more in need.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,342 Member
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    Your body is fine as long as you're at a healthy weight and eating a balanced and varied diet. If you've ever been obese, you're used to eating more, thus feeling more full than you are now, at a lower weight. "Staying a little hungry" will thus be your mind reporting a level of satiety where your nutrition is in perfect balance. You're even having these thoughts when you're really full. So it's definitely not your body starving.

    I think you're mixing up two thoughts, or not realizing that you can have two conflicting thoughts at the same time: what you're "supposed" to feel (your rational mind telling you that you're not starving, food going to waste is not your responsibility), vs what your personal as well as evolutionary past is telling you ("there is free food! nobody's watching! eat it!"). The reason why the thoughts about food going to waste and you still have room for more, are so strong, compared to the thoughts about how your fridge is filled with food, and you don't want to buy larger clothes, is that the "old" circuits are desgined to keep you alive, and they can't be turned off completely and replaced with the "new" circuits; and those "new" circuits need conscious effort to be activated. Overriding your "natural" instincts can be exhausting, you need to be rested and nourished to be able to do it consistently.

    And it's kinda the reason why weight management is seen as work, and why many people are overweight.

    This is so spot on/insightful.

    I couldn't find the "awesome" emo...because s o m e o n e replaced it. ::madface::

    This whole survival thing vs rational mind is the basis for so many of the CBT-style or "beast" models of overcoming problematic behaviors ( such as Rational Recovery. )
  • deannalfisher
    deannalfisher Posts: 5,600 Member
    I always have food on me - I don't deal meals per say but rather graze and log food by blocks of time..plus getting stuck in rush hour traffic with no food is never a good scenario (I've texted friends before with engage emergency donut)

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